The worlds most boring hen do ever....AIBU to pull out?

[mistletoekisses]

The highlights of the aforementioned hen do involve cupcake baking...and wait for it..a country walk with a treasure hunt. There are far more 'treats' along these lines involved, but dont want to post too much incase another attendee is a fellow mnetter.

My background? I have DC's, I bake cupcakes every bloody week. We are grown adults FGS, why would I want to spend a morning on a walk doing a treasure hunt? It is without a doubt the most boring weekend I have been invited away on?

I think that if I am going to be away for a weekend from my family, then it should be for something I enjoy. Whilst I accept that the bride comes first on the big day...I dont think the same courtesy extends to the hen party. The hen is not a close friend and based on that; I am 99% sure that I am going to back out. AIBU?

(Oh and no monies have been committed by anyone yet)

oh another wholesome dullard here

basically if you are friends with the group of people going, i think the idea of a weekend away with them doing WHATEVER would be incredibly fun and nice

if you AREN'T friends with them, why on earth have you been invited?

Maybe she is making it seem boring to see who her 'true' friends are And then when you get there the house will be filled with wine and champagne, with loads of 'naughty toys' and the Chippendales

LeQueen - probably not. Maybe some people just don't need to be force-fed constant excitement to keep them amused. Spending a day in the company of a few good friends really sounds quite nice to me.

I think the clue is that you said you used to be friends and have gone in different directions. Some peope like this sort of hairy-legged piousness. others don't. If it's not your cup of tea, say you have a prior engagement or something (don't tell her you'd rather saw your own head off) and that you will see her at the wedding.

SGB you are right. Sounds like you are not that close to the hen - if the prospect of spending a day with her doesn't appeal on it's own merits then you probably shouldn't go.

Err, the 'you' in the second sentence was referring to the OP, not to SGB!

I think it sounds as though the bride has a 'vision' of her friends all bonding together over the cupcakes (and a few glasses of wine). Of relaxing and talking and sharing time together, instead of stepping in sick and shouting at each other over some very loud music.

I think she wants to be able to remember this as a special time, not another boring forgetable night on the town.

There may also be other reasons why she wants to opt for a quieter hen-do. Perhaps someone close to her is pregnant/unwell or similar which would make a booze fuelled evening standing around in pubs and clubs impossible.

YANBU to want to decline an invite to this party.

YABU to bitch about the bride's choice of venue.

You have just given me the bestest most brilliantest idea ever ever ever!
Im having to make 60 odd cupcakes for my sisters wedding im also semi in charge of the hen do. I could combine them and force everyone to do my job for me!!! Fucking genius.

Second thoughts my sister would kill me. She wants to get stupidly pissed and that would make the cupcakes very wonky indeed...

I am also a RockCity in Notts veteran! Nottingham is an excellent choice for hen do's. Reflex with its revolving dance floor is a must see

Thanks for all the responses. Interesting reading.

Just to set the record straight, I have not called her a dullard for not wanting to go and get pissed in a night club. I understand that that is not for everyone. But I equally think that there is a halfway house on this. I spend 99.9% of my waking hours with my DC's - baking/ playing and with the exception of popping out on chores, the majority of that time is spent at home.

The thought of transplanting the majority of the same activities to another place sounds boring beyond belief. And not something I would choose to spend 2 days away from my family for.

A trip out/ punting, anything else really. Why on earth would I want to stay in a house and bake cakes?? I mean seriously??

Er mistletoe - the hen is not arranging her hen party around you. The hen weekend is not about you so no-one going is really going to care what you do as a SAHM. It's not relevant. If it's not your cup if tea - fine don't go. You are not the centre if attention that weekend - get over it.

What's your idea of high jinks then LeQueen?

"If their idea of high jinks was baking cupcakes and treasure-hunting they'd be no friends of mine."

Maybe they weren't aiming for 'high jinks' but rather, a pleasant day with friends.

mistletoskisses I see your point about baking if you already do it all the time! I'd say either suck it up, or don't go. 2 days is a long time to spend in the company of a women you aren't even that close to.

Fair enough, it sounds a bit sedate, but these things are what you make them. But if you have a problem, don't go, because if you have the mindset it will be boring and crap, you will have a rubbish time and probably spoil it for others.

Only boring people get bored

To be honest based on your attitude I wouldn't want you there anyway as you'd just piss over others enjoying themselves!
It may not be your cup of tea but maybe doing these things would be a way to have a laugh and a few drinks along the way.
The whole hen/stag thing I think is a nightmare and I wouldn't and didn't have one.

If you want to spend time with your friend before you get married go along if you're going to be a mardyarse don't.

tootles - I said the exact same to my DH yesterday. As soon as I was honest with myself about the activities planned, I said it would be really wrong of me to actually go. If the rest of the party enjoy stuff like that, then they will have a much better/ realxing time without me there.

I think you should go with an open mind, leave your cynicism at home, be surprised and then come back and tell us it was much better than you thought it would be

Painting - can I not just use the same time and do a short break somewhere else? Can come back and tell you all how fab a time I had doing that! Everyone is happy!

But seriously, I really cannot go now. Would be very two faced/ superficial of me and that isnt how I am in RL. As others have said on here (and I am well aware of), it is her day and I think she will have a much better time without a my presence!

I think that's a fair conclusion. Bow out with good grace and with them well!

God no don't go if you can't be nice. Nothing worse than one person sulking because they're in the country and they've got a bit of mud on their trousers or something. Just ruins it for everyone.

wish not with...