The worlds most boring hen do ever....AIBU to pull out?

[mistletoekisses]

The highlights of the aforementioned hen do involve cupcake baking...and wait for it..a country walk with a treasure hunt. There are far more 'treats' along these lines involved, but dont want to post too much incase another attendee is a fellow mnetter.

My background? I have DC's, I bake cupcakes every bloody week. We are grown adults FGS, why would I want to spend a morning on a walk doing a treasure hunt? It is without a doubt the most boring weekend I have been invited away on?

I think that if I am going to be away for a weekend from my family, then it should be for something I enjoy. Whilst I accept that the bride comes first on the big day...I dont think the same courtesy extends to the hen party. The hen is not a close friend and based on that; I am 99% sure that I am going to back out. AIBU?

(Oh and no monies have been committed by anyone yet)

YABU. It's her Hen Night and that's what she wants to do. You don't have to go to a night Club or do lots of boozing to have a good time.

I'd go just for the chance of a weekend off my own kids and to gossip talk in peace at great length to old mates. Stay up as late as I liked because I could sleep as long as I like in the mornings -- that'd be bliss!

I had a boring hen-night. We went to one restaurant and chatted for hours and went home again. I didn't know you were supposed to go out and get hammered and listen to ear-shattering music and leer at strangers in nightclubs before vomitting somewhere inappropriate on the way home. But I don't like to do any of those things, so am glad I was so ignorant of them .

I'm astonished she chose to invite someone to charming (not)

I haven't read such a self-centred OP in a long time, I do hope she manages to lose the wedding invite for you too

Why is everyone so obsessed with getting pissed? That's what I find boring tbh, I can't drink anymore as it makes me very ill and it's rather boring watching everyone get drunk and look like idiots. I don't miss drinking at all, especially the hangovers.

So the hen do does sound a bit boring, but it's what the bride wants, if you don't want to go then don't! But don't judge the poor bloody woman for not having the same taste in activities as you!

Flippin Heck Bundle if that is the most self obsessed op you have read in ages you need to spend more time on MN!!

There is enough pressure on people as parents, employees, family members etc to do chores, vists, jobs and other things we don't really want to do but have to as a sense of duty or responsibility. It seems pointless doing an activity that you really are not going to enjoy and give up a weekend to do it.

As the OP states it's not a close friend so she probably won't be overly missed - not in a bad way but if she is not curently part of that social group she won't be going out with them on a regular basis.

Like I stated before about our hen do's or even on our regular social gatherings there will be a few who say that they can't make that date due to work/ kids /money/ what ever.
some will say 'Yep, I'm up for it count me in'
and others will say ' You're having a laugh, not a chance. That's not my thing'

It's really no big deal and it seemed spiteful to say that you hope the acquantance mangages to lose the invite!!

What's that about?!!

I have a thought that no-one else seems to have had (I think)

Is she planning the hen do herself? It could be that her chief bridesmade/maid of honour is arranging and in they have told the bride that's what they are doing, but in reality they are really organising something else. One of my friends went on a hen night like this once. They told the bride to meet at the station cos they were going to some market town, but in reality they had booked tickets, hotel rooms, meal out and theatre tickets in London. Apparently fun was had by all.

I dont think you should go cos you obviously dont want to (dont know why you even started this thread as you were never going to go, maybe to perhaps make yourself feel better?).

Personally I would go and make the best of it. You never know it might be fun. Plus I think it could be fun for a change. Recently a friend of mine (not a close one, but more of a friend of a friend who Ive only just met recently) had a birthday night out doing something that I have never done before. I also thought it sounded boring. Yes it wasnt the most exciting night out, but I had fun catching up with friends in a quiet environment.

As you are not going to go, I would say that something has come up and you can't afford to leave the family. Maybe you need work on your car and its costing more than you thought?

BTW Im in York and it also seems to be a popular place for hen/stag nights. Its always ammussing to go to one of the weatherspoons (one is next door to the Travelodge, the other near the station and premier inn) for breakfast on a sunday morn and see the groups of people who obviously feel a little worse for wear

Take your DC with you. Sounds like they'd love it!

LOL at upahill and needing to spend more time on mnet.

Right - just to reiterate. I never said that I need to go out and get pissed to have a good time. I just prefer not to bake.

Also - the last time I saw the hen was last summer. For maybe 2 hours tops. Bar one other person there - I don't socialise with any of the people and never will. Which is fine if there is some other things going on to occupy time. But not in this scenario.

fartblossom - when I started this thread, I had no idea what I was going to do. Had only just read the email and seen the plans. Was planning to sleep on it and decide this morning which I have done.

I'm not being spiteful upahill, quite the opposite. She would surely fall asleep during the vows if there were no cocktails being served.

I once went to Alton Towers for a friend's 30th - I hate the rides etc but I did it because he was a lovely friend who wanted to be surrounded by a group of nice people on his special day. And you know what? it was fine

I spend less and less time on MN because of such selfish attitudes..perhaps I need to peek in even less.

Nah bundle, will be fine during the ceremony. will wear one of these

oh

Sounds fabulous to me, can I go instead?

I'm just imagining the one to one time after the wedding.

OP snorts a line of coke off the new bride's coffee table as the new bride concentrates on her knitting and tries not to notice what is going on.

Bride asks whether the OP has read any interesting autobiographies lately, OP is too busy to answer as she's started to pole dance around a lamp stand.

;)

Sorry Bundle. I didn't mean to be rude to you. I didn't word my post well.

Looks to me like you were never going to go and you just wanted reasurrance that it was ok to do that. Thats fine doing that, a lot of people do.

fartblossom - at the risk of sounding as pedantic as you. No I had no idea what I was going to do. If I knew 100% what I was doing, I would not have wasted mine or others time on here. I don't need to get validation if I make a decision. The few times I have started a thread, it has been to get others perspectives and mull things over.

If you must know, I have actually given myself a firm talking to this afternoon. The posts on here have made me think about things and see this from her point of view.
We did use to be very close friends and maybe spending some time together will help our friendship a little. We have a lot of history and it could be that that has made me biased against the do...

I am going to go with a totally open mind and try and throw myself into the activities and have fun. As many others have advised, I may end up having a fantastic time! Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Thank you all who have posted, I will come back and update how I have gotten on....have quite a wait though, it isnt until the end of Sept.....

So a 'wholesome dullard' is anyone who enjoys an activity that you don't understand the appeal of then Lequeen?

Country walks and baking cakes might not be activities that the OP would care for,but there's nothing wrong with others enjoying it,and I fail to see the comparison with oven cleaning.

LeQ - please dont make me think about this too much. Will end up not going.

I was however very tempted to ask if we could darn socks/ knit/ have group sing a longs as another poster on here suggested. Thought it may have not been received well however, so decided against it.

Personally I'd rather gnaw my arm off than go clubbing,but that doesn't mean that I think anyone who enjoys it is an idiot.

Could I have your answers sans the patronising tone please?