The worlds most boring hen do ever....AIBU to pull out?

[mistletoekisses]

The highlights of the aforementioned hen do involve cupcake baking...and wait for it..a country walk with a treasure hunt. There are far more 'treats' along these lines involved, but dont want to post too much incase another attendee is a fellow mnetter.

My background? I have DC's, I bake cupcakes every bloody week. We are grown adults FGS, why would I want to spend a morning on a walk doing a treasure hunt? It is without a doubt the most boring weekend I have been invited away on?

I think that if I am going to be away for a weekend from my family, then it should be for something I enjoy. Whilst I accept that the bride comes first on the big day...I dont think the same courtesy extends to the hen party. The hen is not a close friend and based on that; I am 99% sure that I am going to back out. AIBU?

(Oh and no monies have been committed by anyone yet)

LeQueen your post has made me snort with laughter, a trip to a local artisan cheese factory??! WTF!

Hen do's are usually a bit dire, most of the time you only know a handful of the guests and the rest are usually a bit square and dull, (they prob think I'm unhinged and dangerous mind you). Groups of women together are rarely goo, again boring without a few men thrown into the mix. You have to part with loads of your hard earned cash to look like a dick in some crap hole that you have never and will never venture to again (jongluers in Nottingham wearing a pink fuzzy head band thing anyone??) etc. etc. However the saving grace is that there's usually copious amounts of alcohol to get you through it, music so you don't actually have to communicate and the chance of a child free lie in the nest day.

OP YANBU, I would not put myself through that, neither will I do centre parcs for a hen do, crafts, pottery painting, pole dancing, burlesque etc. Will concede with limos and tolerate the hell hole that is "The Birdcage" in Manchester for the sake of a friend IF champagne is free flowing (seems to be most pop choice round here unfortunately). Mine was meal then club in Liverpool fun but still bloody excrutiating.

I'd probably go - it sounds cheap, cheerful and possibly a laugh, if some like-minded folk there to bring a bit of humour to proceedings. And it's a break from the kids....

Much rather that than a week in Ibiza where I have to spend 2 weeks wages on a shit apartment in Calas de Shitsville, some bunny ears, and a scratchy t-shirt with some nickname that no-one even calls me on the back. Not for me all that malarkey.

Nah, sounds dire. There's got to be a happy medium between this and pole dancing. Can you negotiate with your OH to still get the child-free weekend, but with a different friend, and can it involve far more by way of drinking/meal out/timeless karaoke/glamming up etc.

Just out of interest, how come the hen is having such a quiet do? Is it for cultural or financial reasons, or is she pg? If not, then I bet she regrets the lost opportunity for mayhem if she has children in the years to come.

I miss my hen night. It was lovely.

It doesn't have to be one extreme or the other though surely? Pottery, cakes and treasure hunts are the extreme end of dull for some people and ibiza etc is tacky and horrible.

You can do meal and club and maybe a couple of activities for one or 2 nights without it being dire.

If it was a close friend/relative, I'd go, taking a large bottle of gin. Since the hen is not a close friend, I'd say yanbu.

For my best friend's hen do we went for a curry, then onto a club. For my hen do we did.. er.. the same!! Things have changed since my day I accept that not everyone likes clubs though!

Throw in a roaring fire and a bottle of whisky and it sounds like my perfect weekend getaway, regardless of the occasion.

if she's not a close friend why on earth has she invited you! I find that weird.YANBU to say you can't go.

I think it's well within your rights to refuse and I think people should, really.

It's such a sodding industry. From engagement to hen/stag party to wedding rehearsal to wedding to honeymoon ... year on year, people are expected to do and spend more and more. IT'S AN INDUSTRY! THE IDEA THAT WE ALL HAVE TO SPEND A WEEKEND AWAY IS BEING PEDDLED SO THAT WE SPEND MORE MONEY!

Sorry. As you were.

Gets right on my tights, though. I love the basic kind of do: if you have the budget to do a meal etc properly, great ... if not, why bother? Save your money for the bar. I suppose I do assume that there will be drinking (my name's Druzhok and I open a bottle for every occasion ), so I would understand if a non drinker wanted to do something different. But I don't see the point of forcing other people to spend vast amounts of cash and time on a hen/stag 'do' when you will be asking them to do exactly the same thing for the wedding a couple of weeks later.

I am speaking on 'this' side of the child line, though ... when I had disposable income and time to shave my legs, I would have been more up for it. Now, I will NOT waste my money or time on being somewhere I don't want to be. If I'm going to spend endless money and be bored silly doing pointless activities, I'll do it with my kids.

Not that I'm besieged by invitations, due to being a crabby old killjoy ...

And I agree that they are usually excruciating. I've been on 3 'stayaway' hen dos and I got through them by drinking too much. But I really wanted to come home before I'd even unpacked my toothbrush.

The best ones I've been on were one-evening-only affairs with low expectations.

I didn't even bother, didn't see the point as we'd lived together for years and have 3 children!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

YANBU!!!! (of course it depends on your relationship with then hen)

can't you just make it into a big piss up in the country? you might end up having a ball if you take a few bottles of voddy with you.

lequeen - i've just wet myself

I'd buy it LeQ.

"The Wedding Destroyer"

Omg yanbu. A treasure hunt..oh dear.

Maybe after that you can all do some ironing, darn some socks and have a group sing-song

I can't get too worked up over hen dos anyway though. The thought of enforced fun of any description - be it cupcakes or pole dancing - for a whole weekend with a lot of women doesn't fill me with joy.

It wasn't mine though, it was a mate and I only knew her none of the others, the rest of her mates were square bears. I thought the comedy was great, quite risque but a couple of times I was the only one laughing as the rest of them sat there cats bum mouth .

But what's the deal with Nottingham are only stag and hen do's allowed into the city centre?? because i sure as hell didn't see any other people there!

YANBU. I'm single, no DC, have never baked a cup cake in my life and the last time I did a treasure hunt was at Guides
Like you, I'd be looking for a few cocktails in the nearest cheesy club.
Strange that the bride thinks it will appeal to her friends....??

moononastick, yeah, enforced, organised fun. Urrgh. Pass the bottle.

I love jongleurs in Notingham - got really wrecked on champagne there trying to outdrink an Australian girl! Fool . Had my hen do in Jongleurs in Birmingham instead as dh was in Nottingham!

I would enjoy it I'd much rather be walking, cooking and chatting than going on a club-crawl TBH.

Isn't being made to go boozing with a group of women you don't know "enforced fun" as well?

YABU It is not about you

Thanks for all the replies. For those that say YABU, fair enough and I take that on board. But I have to say that I disagree with some comments. The only part of proceedings that I think is all about the bride and groom is the wedding day itself.

The rest of the parlava that goes along with it is not something I am in anyway obliged to do. Unless it was one of my best friends, in which case, I would bite my tongue and go with whatever was planned. (Although none of my best friends would think this was the way forward for a hen do!)

By no means am I saying it has to involve clubbing, but we are fairly close to a major city which has some lovely jazz bars etc...there has to be a happy medium surely?

I have been invited because many years ago we used to be close friends. We have since become very different people and dont really have much commmon ground anymore.