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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have refused to remove the photo?

127 replies

moominmarvellous · 11/07/2010 23:50

A friend of mine has emailed asking me to remove a picture of her DD from an album on Facebook of my daughters birthday party.

Just to clarify, it's the back of her child, in fancy dress, she's in the distance in a photo taken of two other children. I know she doesn't like her DD's pics on there, so I deliberately didn't include any of her or tag her Mum in pics to draw attention to anything.

I'm begining to wonder if they're in the witness protection programme!

OP posts:
Imisssleeping · 11/07/2010 23:53

Can't you crop the photo?

bigstripeytiger · 11/07/2010 23:55

Does seem a little excessive - presumably if its an untagged picture of the back of the child very few people would know (or care) who the picture was of.
Could you blur out the child in the picture? Or if its fancy dress tell the mum that it was actually another child

LittleMissHissyFit · 11/07/2010 23:55

block her from seeing your album. Sibu.

abbierhodes · 11/07/2010 23:55

Remove it. Why wouldn't you?

Buzzybb · 11/07/2010 23:55

You do not know what the story is but should respect her wishes, can you to remove /crop the picture. My friend cannot put pics on f/b as she escaped a violent relationship as does not want ex to see pics etc or know where she is for her and the dc safety.

MrsRhettButler · 11/07/2010 23:56

bit over the top i agree... are you certain she's not in witness protection? if so then she is being silly, if her child is in fancy dress (and backwards facing) then the only people who will recognise who she is will have been at the party.

onedeadbadger · 11/07/2010 23:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aitch · 11/07/2010 23:58

you should definitely respect her wishes.

MisSalLaneous · 11/07/2010 23:59

Can you only see the back?? I've blurred out faces of other children when I couldn't crop a photo suitably, but if you can't even see a face, I do think she's being a bit silly.

I probably would have taken the photo down anyway, but would be annoyed. For what it's worth, a lot of people don't like their children's faces on the internet, so I prefer to avoid other children on FB, but ask if I really do want to (i.e. camping pics).

smellmycheese · 11/07/2010 23:59

Urnbu in thinking it's over the top and a bit weird, but it's her dd and if she's asked I think you'll have to just remove it. She obviously feels v strongly about it for some reason

MrsRhettButler · 11/07/2010 23:59

but the back of this child in fancy dress

ok, op, is the child recognizable?

MrsRhettButler · 12/07/2010 00:01

agree with smellmycheese though, it is her child therefore her descision

BertieBotts · 12/07/2010 00:01

YABU. Unless it's an amaingly stunning photo of the other two children, why would you NOT remove it? It's just a photo. What if they are on the witness protection programme or escaping a violent ex-partner or something?

MisSalLaneous · 12/07/2010 00:02

Oh, btw, I assume you have your photo preferences set to friends only? That's my only condition when friends have group photos.

Monty100 · 12/07/2010 00:02

It's the woman's child so whatever the reason is, you should respect her wishes.

BrightLightBrightLight · 12/07/2010 00:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BertieBotts · 12/07/2010 00:03

Oh right, sorry, I missed the part about the child being unrecognisable - in that case YANBU. But I would still probably remove it as per her wishes, unless it really was a fantastic photo of the other two hildren.

booyhoo · 12/07/2010 00:07

it has her child in it and she has asked you to remove it. if you cant crop it or blur her dd then i think you should remove the photo.

i would never put pics of anyone else's dcs on fb.

mrsruffallo · 12/07/2010 00:08

YABU
I think you should remove it

ChateauRouge · 12/07/2010 00:13

YABU- I would also want you to remove it were it my child.

Original poster
moominmarvellous · 12/07/2010 00:22

I know she's not on any protection program or has any history of domestic violence and the pic was requested by another friend.

You really cannot recognise this child, I don't want to go into too much detail about the costume, but you can't even tell she's a she!

I will end up blurring it as it can't really be cropped. I suppose it's because I really did try and respect her wishes by not including face on shots, but she's still not happy! Just seems very precious to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
moominmarvellous · 12/07/2010 00:22

I know she's not on any protection program or has any history of domestic violence and the pic was requested by another friend.

You really cannot recognise this child, I don't want to go into too much detail about the costume, but you can't even tell she's a she!

I will end up blurring it as it can't really be cropped. I suppose it's because I really did try and respect her wishes by not including face on shots, but she's still not happy! Just seems very precious to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
moominmarvellous · 12/07/2010 00:30

I wish you could see this pic! I really think you'd change your YABU's to YANBU's! But ok, I get it, her child, her say. I'll blur it.

But to add, I do have friends only settings, and this particular album is only visible to an even smaller group.

(Apologies for double posts, computers doing weird things!)

OP posts:
Original poster
moominmarvellous · 12/07/2010 00:30

I wish you could see this pic! I really think you'd change your YABU's to YANBU's! But ok, I get it, her child, her say. I'll blur it.

But to add, I do have friends only settings, and this particular album is only visible to an even smaller group.

(Apologies for double posts, computers doing weird things!)

OP posts:
sushistar · 12/07/2010 00:31

it is precious, but if it distresses her you should remove it. Might be there's something she's not telling you, but even if not, she has the right to control images of her kid - even her kid's back in fancy dress, and even if it's ott.