to have refused to remove the photo?

[moominmarvellous]

A friend of mine has emailed asking me to remove a picture of her DD from an album on Facebook of my daughters birthday party.

Just to clarify, it's the back of her child, in fancy dress, she's in the distance in a photo taken of two other children. I know she doesn't like her DD's pics on there, so I deliberately didn't include any of her or tag her Mum in pics to draw attention to anything.

I'm begining to wonder if they're in the witness protection programme!

Sounds like it's nothing to do with the phots and everything to do with friendship issues to me, unless the fancy dress outfit was an embarrasing disaster.

"We could equally well ask what you think goves you the right to decide where to publish photos of other people's children."

That we live in a free country where the state legislates for prohibitive acts rather than "allowing" me to do something.

There are no laws against public photography and publishing photos on line or in print (well there are a few exceptions but unless you plan on taking your kids round a nuclear power station any time soon I doubt they apply here). That is what gives me the "right".

As I have said, if you don't like it then don't take your kids out in public or just dress them in burkhas.

But, if I'm working or just out and about and I happen to get one of your kids in my shots then that's just tough.

I wonder if Phan Th? Kim Phúc was asked her permission before this photo was taken?

And that photo (in my previous post) was taken nearly forty years ago.

Photography is nothing new. I suspect this whole "think of the children" hysteria about photography has its root in the "paedo" hysteria that seems to have gripped otherwise sane people in the last decade.

LooktoWindard - thank goodness I'm not the only one out here who thinks there is some kind of madness developing about photographs of children.

I have lots of photos (don't we all) and lots printed and stuck on walls and so on. Should I be checking with the parents of other children that it is OK for my family friends, the gas meter reader, the delivery guy, my next door neighbour or anyone else, to look at them? What's the difference between that and putting them on FB?

Fuck her and her paranoid wishes. WHat next, when my child is at a party and I take a picture, do I have to get everyone else there to sign a consent form to all ow me to accidentally "expose" (paedophile?) their kids in the background?

Oh, actually I do. I had to sign one of those forms for a fucking party at nursery school.

What the stinking hell has become of the people of England that this sort of issue ever even arises?

actually I do think you are being unreasonable - for whatever reason she has asked you to remove a photo of her daughter - regardless of whether she has her daughter on her page etc. her controls may be set different to you.

I had this happen recently. Was looking at my cousins page to suddenly see my children on my cousin's facebook page. They were not identified on the picture but it was a very accessible page. I very calmly asked the young person in question if she would mind moving the picture as we preferred they not be put on facebook and she apologised and removed it straight away. No hard feelings no issue.

Her security settings are very low where friends of friends of whatever are able to check out her stuff - how I managed to see the pic come up on my cousin's page.

The young lady in question had simply uploaded all the photos in question from a 21st party and there happened to be my children in a photo.

I would have been gobsmacked if she came back with - my photo and all the other comments that were there. In fact I did not know the photo had even been taken - so was even more surprised when it came up. Thankfully she saw no big deal about it.

oops - it was my cousin's friend's page and the link came up on my cousin's page iyswim.

I wouldn't remove the picture. I would either delete the girl from the picture or blur it.

Yes, she has a right to request pics of her children are not on other people's facebook pages... even if it is being a little OTT as it's the back of their head.

Look, when you have to deal with people like this, smile sweetly at them, say 'Don't be silly' and change the subject. Just stonewall. Remember that people who deamnd 'respect' are the ones who don't deserve it and have just made themselves fair game for mockery.
If they are in the witness protection programme or something it's their responsibility to avoid being anywhere they might have their photo taken. If they are attention seeking twats, they should be aughed at, not indulged.

Snobear4000, why so patronising!?

It is up to the parent/legal guardian who gets to see their dc in pics, not some random stranger!

Why on earth should she take the picture down? If its concern about a child being recognised or even a parent not wanting their children on someone else's Facebook account, making the child unrecognisable by blurring out or cropping is surely satisfactory.

She likes the main focus of the picture and the other child's parent requested it be published. She's done what her friend wanted by the sounds of it. The friend's child is now not recognisable to anyone else. If anyone recognises the costume/colours/place then they were obviously at the birthday party and the Mother doesn't mind them seeing her child in person!

StewieGriffinsMom are you calling ME an self righteous whinger??

If you have read my last thread contributions (the last 3 or 4 in fact!)I dealt with it and removed the back of the head from the picture.

Why do some posters keep banging on about DV and adoption when it's nothing to do with it??? I KNOW this woman. I KNOW her husband. I KNOW this is not the reason she wanted it off. Jeeezus.

Calm yourself down and get off your high horse before you fall off it.

Just e-mail a copy to the friend who liked it and asked, and remove the copy off FB.

It does seem especially paranoid if it's not the face of the child, and even the sex of the child is unclear, and given the limited chance of anyone outside a small group of people seeing it, but if it causes friction it's perhaps better to either remove it, or perhaps blur the whole of that child.

It's your photograph to display where and when you wish, so I don't feel someone else has the right to demand you remove it, but clearly some here feel that the request of anyone else supercedes your wishes. She can request but cannot force you to remove the photo, just anything to do with her child. Rather than cover her child with a black box (completely spoiling the look of the photo) blurring it seems a reasonable compromise, and a bit sad for the friends whose children were with yours.

I would suggest distributing photos by e-mail if you prefer, since that way there's no public or semi-public display of the photo, and you avoid anyone going OTT about some innocent photo.

"especially where the receivers don't always have great internet connections, so a huge e-mail can clog up the mail programme completely."

Try YouSendIt.com (allows files of up to 50 MB to be uploaded). You could put a few (well, lots actually!) photos into a ZIP, upload to YouSendIt and get it to e-mail you with a link to that ZIP file.

You could then e-mail the link (with a few comments on what photos were included) to a bunch of different people, and they, at a time when convenient (within next 7 days) can just download when they want. Doesn't clog their mail inbox (as the link and description is less than I have typed in this post) and allows flexibility of downloading (or not) and when time / connection permits.

Thanks Network Guy, I'll use that site to send to the friend who asked for the pic as she lives far away from us all now so often likes updated pics of the children etc.

Well I've said to that friend that I'll be cropping or blocking her DD should she appear in any future pics I wish to put on FB - she said oh theres no need to do that but that is what I will be doing and hopefully that'll be the end of it.

Honestly, giving in to whiners is never a good idea. Laugh at them instead. Most people are not malevolent and encouraging people to be paranoid is bad for them and for the rest of society (except for the powerful, who want everyone else to be terrified of everything, it makes them obedient).

moomin - you generally only need to attach a photo or two, rather than use YouSendIt.com

It's only when you go past 10 or 20 MB of photos that it becomes worthwhile to ZIP them up and send a link. The other time it comes in handy is when the recipient has a poor internet connection, as in the example from MisSalLaneous (and then it allows someone to download at their leisure, when their connection is good).

Or for someone on the move, when they have free wi-fi access rather than have a several MB file that costs 6 pounds per MB to download if they happen to be abroad when the mail is downloaded into a phone.

Thanks for the personal insult bibbitybobbity. I can see other people's POV and I happen to disagree with them.

Hardly rocket science.

You happen to disagree with them yet think the country has gone to the dogs because of it!