The support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Summer 2026

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.
There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.
Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.
The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.
So climb aboard and join the shipmates (as well as our dog mascot Sid!) and see how good alcohol free life can be.

There was something on the news last night about an breakthrough in drugs to treat auto-immune conditions, @WendyWagon. They were talking about Lupus, but said that it was very promising for things like MS and RA too.

Honestly, moving house - particularly selling a house - is stressful enough without adding hangovers and relationship problems to the mix. Get all your wagons in a circle, and ducks in a row and soldier on.

I second @Lavrander about the 4-8 week period being hard, @Kakkilakki. Your sober muscles are still untried, and yes, the novelty has worn off a bit. Give it to about 90 days - at that point your new habit will be not drinking, you'll have developed new and more personal ways to do that, and it will all seem easier.

I found that early nights (even when I knew I wouldn't sleep) helped. I'd have a hot bath and a box set to get me through if insomnia struck. I bought fancy scented oils, which I used in the bath and in the bedroom, which I kept clean and tidy, and bought sleep headphones and a million tracks of hypnosis to listen to. I stuck firmly to a routine - run the bath and switch on the oil diffuser in the bedroom, have a scented bath and get into a warm bed (electric blanket in winter) and relax. If I was definitely not sleepy, I'd switch on the TV - Downton Abbey and Stella at first, then others I've forgotten. I went for easy to follow series that I could watch without paying attention, but would stop me getting bored and thinking too much. When I was ready to sleep I'd put on the headphones and listen to the track du jour (or du nuit) and hope to fall asleep. If I didn't, no stress - I just watched another episode. Taking the stress away really helped. It took ages to get a decent sleep pattern going, but in the end it wasn't too bad. It worked for me, but you might prefer other strategies.

Some like quit lit, but I found it tortuous - like reading books of baking recipes when on a diet. Some go to meetings, but I didn't try them. I posted online instead, and that helped, too. I didn't drink for over eight years, and thought I was over it, until something happened that made me (stupidly) start again, and I'm wobbling now. I'm not 'a drinker' now though. I can just as easily say no, and I'm determined to get back to that being a rule. You will work out what suits you in time, but throw everything at it at first.

Oh, and take plenty of Thiamine (vit B1). It will help to prevent brain damage from alcohol, which can develop when people stop after drinking heavily for a while. Good luck.

@ShyMaryEllen thank you so much for that thoughtful and helpful post. It really helps to hear from people further down the line. Today has been a bit easier. A new routine would definitely be a good idea, especially if it includes some self-care.

Morning
How is everyone doing today?

Thank you to the poster that recommended the song by Jimmy Eat World. I listened to them all of yesterday.

I have absolutely nothing to do today but feel quite positive about it. Being bored on a Sunday afternoon used to be a trigger for me and probably was the hardest "pull" in the first few months. Today I'm just going to do "this and that" and it shall be lovely.

Morning all.

Thank you all for the words of encouragement. I did a bit of tidying and kept out of the way of temptation.
I'm ok about moving to a stop gap home as I know the place. I really didn't want a rental. I attract landlords from hell!
I'm good at regrouping, my late father was a soldier so I'm used to packing up and moving on.
My friend moved to Yorkshire a couple of weeks ago. She had lived in her house 31 years. Sadly she lost her husband back in 2022 and had been trying to sell for a while.
Our boys grew up together. We had a blast in the old days.
We're invited for a stay so the dh and I will take the new car up to see her for our hols in September. I'm also going to visit my grandfather's house as I'm not sure who owns it now.

Do any of you lovely ladies use a three PIN charging unit on your cars? If we're moving shortly we won't have the ev put in. Any advice welcome.

Good morning shipmates. I’m
still hanging on here quietly in the background and catching up on some posts - just been keeping below decks.
Agree with @ShyMaryEllenre the Vit B have taken it for over year now.
Hows everyone doing on this fine Sunday?
Im 6 months AF now but over 12 if I can gloss over a blip at Christmas.
One thing I can share is the total unpreparedness for emotions further down the line.
At about month 3 I realised I’d probably numbed any difficult emotions for decades with alcohol - even happy emotions.
Once those neuro pathways had found a new route I really struggled to address the feelings of difficult emotions because I’d never really learned how to do it before. It was always just pushed down or away. I’m not really addressing them yet but at least acknowledging them and just sitting with those uncomfortable feelings and that’s a huge shift.
Realising it’s okay not to feel okay was a big step for me.
On a more cheery note looks like we are spared the rain in the UK today so it’s into the garden for some pottering for me.
Hows everyone doing x

@WendyWagon when I visit my mum she just throws an extension lead out of the window and I use the charger lead straight from that. Great news on your RA drugs and a sideways move is still a move, sounds positive.

@mumzof4x i definitely relate about numbing all feelings with alcohol but I’ve found that sober I’m better at not getting so over emotional and really think things through a bit more.

@ShyMaryEllen love your sleep routine ideas, I’m still terrible at staying up too late, not even doing anything useful. I really want to prioritize my sleep more and there are some great tips there.

@Lavrander @Onewildandpreciouslife @Kakkilakki i am going to do a nice hike this week, also going to have a productive day today. Really making some future plans. Work & family ones. We have exam years coming up!

@REP22 is Sid enjoying the sunshine?

Good morning. What helped me in the early days, and even now TBF, is choosing to be available to drive. I know it’s not the same with little children as they go to bed so early, but being available for lifts for older kids has been good. I know I can collect at any time. I’m not quietly resentful of either them or DH that I can’t “relax”. I don’t just throw money at Ubers. I’m also still having AF beers of an evening, rarely more than one. I think these were my most immediate changes.

@Adsy1988 day 14, all going well, and I hope things are ok.

@WendyWagon good news on the RA front, even if the legal tangles aren’t good. It’s such a see-saw, you sometimes just want a bit of balance to catch your breath.

Well I've just done two boxes in the garden. Shoved in corner and got wet.
One full of tat the other sadly some broken Spode. However very satisfying to sit out sorting for a bit. It's sunny here.
Still no luck on a gardener so the DH and I are pulling weeds in the pots and boarder. A little each day might do it.

The DS came and went. Ticked me off for considering a first floor flat (straight stairs so I get a stair lift) However when I said we'll move when he has a family he stopped grumping! He lives near the river in a posh location but we need to wait for DD to finish her studies and DH to retire.

I have fever tree raspberry and rhubarb tonic for tonight.

Hello everyone. I’d like to join this group and embrace a sober life.
Tried many times. Have stopped for 100 days previously but got back on it again. I drink and drink and have no off switch. Make terrible choices. Wake up feeling anxious and awful and vow not to do it again. Three days later, rinse and repeat. I’ve had enough. I want to be more present for my son. So day one - here we go.

Welcome @Booksandstuff you're in the right place x

Day one, drink lots of water, download TryDry App
@ShyMaryEllen will tell you to order yourself some B1 tablets.

Keep checking in!

@WendyWagon we are helping look for a new property for my MIL and keep getting sent first floor flats, she’s pretty spritely but in her 80’s. So def ground floor garden flat needed. I’m decluttering the toiletries cupboard. Has hair dryers, medicine etc in it. Binning stuff is very cathartic.

Welcome aboard @Booksandstuff. I'm glad you're joining us. You're in a very familiar pattern.
My biggest help in the beginning (apart from this thread of course) was Annie Grace's Alcohol Experiment. You can download the naked mind app and sign up for free. Some of it just blew my mind and I liked having something to listen to each day to help me reset my thinking.

Hello @mumzof4x- lovely to see an update from you. I so agree on the dealing with feelings. I went through the same thing earlier this year and I've found mindfulness very freeing. I use the headspace app. It teaches you to be a calm observer of the thoughts instead of being consumed by them. I'm not perfect by any means but a little each day has made me more content.

Happy Sunday all.
Well done @Kakkilakki , @postcard , @mumzof4x and everyone. Welcome @Booksandstuff , we have your sober back :) @WendyWagon your news about the potential flat and the RA drugs is really positive, makes me happy.

@mumzof4x I really identify with what you've written about dealing with difficult emotions. I knew I was doing this to an extent but it was only when I stopped I realised how negative this was. Im nearly 14 months sober and this is still a challenge I'm learning about daily.

I was bed bound with a stomach bug yesterday and woke up well again today. Feel like I have a new lease of life again.The weather is perfect for me today,it's not too extreme.

I caught up with a colleague this week who's been sober since a health kick back in January. I don't think that they struggled with alcohol in the way a lot of us do here but it was inspiring to hear about how they are benefiting from sobriety and how much healthier they seem.We talked about whether they'd drink again and they said: 'but why would I ever go back to drinking?'
It was so encouraging.

Are there any particular meditations you would recommend on Headspace @Lavrander ?
I have a subscription and no I could make better use of this.

Have you gone through the basics courses @Teaforthetotal? I do think they're a good place to start. I'm actually back doing the 365 days of headspace one which is what used to be the only one available when the app first started (I had it when it first started and lost the habit - it was far simpler then - you just signed up and were served one session a day!) . Personally I think it's better to start at the beginning rather than choose particular ones. I like to listen to Andy as a teacher as well.

Thank you everyone. I am trying to approach this week by week. So looking ahead at where the usual drinking moments might be and ready myself. My fear is that the cycle will just start over again once I feel less anxious later this week. I’ve been here so many times.
I did message two friends today - to tell them I have a problem with alcohol and I was giving it up, and I’d love their support (which they will give me in bucket loads). I’m hoping that will make me more accountable.
any suggestions for when Friday rolls around and I let those permissive thoughts slip in very welcome!

Ooh I haven't done the basics course @Lavrander , I'll check it out. I like daily challenges so that might be a good one for me.There's so much content on there !

@mumzof4x I can really relate to what you said about sitting with emotions. So far I‘ve generally felt more balanced, but it’s still early days and I‘m sure difficult emotions will surface sooner or later. I don’t have a very good track record for dealing with feelings, with a history of self harm and eating disorders keeping my alcohol abuse company. Not really sure what to do about that.

Welcome @Booksandstuff ! You‘ve done amazing to get to 100 days previously, you can do it again! My top tip for Friday is to stay out of the shop, and plan something fun for Saturday morning.

I’ve signed up for the 2 week free trial of headspace.

Welcome @Booksandstuff .

Good morning all
I'm up early as I had to go to sleep at 8.30. I was exhausted.
Too much cooking again.

For the newbies I can tell you it's easier to deal with life's troubles sober.
I always buried them in two bottles of wine the day before or after a tricky/awful event. My real reason was fear. Fear of the outcome, fear of failing. If I had a hangover I was aggressive and nonchalant so I didn't hear the bad stuff. Same when I was a teenager being bullied by my family.

My late father was lovely and he had a 24 hour rule. You had twenty four hours to moan, cry etc but after that it was practical solutions only. I tried to live by that. My blips have only been one day and I get up the next and look after me.
The DD had cocked up an eBay sale yesterday. She was upset and I could step in. In days of old I would have been drinking on a Sunday afternoon and wouldn't have been available to help. Going out for a cabbage was legendary!
Take each day at a time my friends. Your body will thank you. 100 days was my epiphany.

Morning. I’m also up early.
committing to today
one day at a time
have a good day all

I’m the same as you @postcard, I offer to drive everywhere. I was out most of the day with a group of friends and I drove, I was getting a bit resentful at times driving all the time, but after my blip a couple of weeks ago I’m doing everything I can to remain sober.

Day 16 today. I’ve had a lovely weekend, been here, there and everywhere. I haven’t made any real plans for my time off, it really was just about getting the batteries recharged.

I am thinking of doing an extreme day trip next week, possibly to Copenhagen. Has anyone ever done this before?

Morning everyone,

@WendyWagon that‘s a great way to look al
life and the troubles it brings. A short time to mope then get on with solutions. I like that! And you’re very right, life is easier sober. Drink doesn’t make the difficult stuff go away.

I‘m meeting up with my neighbours for a drink this week. We‘re going to a bar. It’s been planned for about 2 months and kept getting pushed back due to illness or other commitments. I‘ve been dreading it a little. Now we have set the date for Thursday, and because it is a school night I have a good excuse not to drink. I‘m sure they will still be surprised, as they know me as the one who always drinks too much. The last time we met up (in winter) I finished all the dregs in the other glasses before I left, and I really hope no one saw. How mortifying.

@Adsy1988 that’s the trip you do in one day? I think you have to be very organised. And be well rested in the days before so that you can explore as much as you can in one day. Also taking into account travel. Copenhagen is lovely.

@Lavrander you saying the first 8 weeks are bloody hard has actually really really helped. Thank you. I think I was on a high those first few weeks and yes, it was hard but I didn’t expect this struggle I had last week. I recommended the Jimmy Eat World song, it’s been on repeat most days here and I always put it on when having a shower too 😝 glad you like it . I’m going to see them again next month and can’t wait!!

@Adsy1988 Copenhagen is somewhere I’m
really interested in so will follow with interest. I’ve never done extreme day trips through so can’t help

@Kakkilakki hopefully the bar you go to has some AF beer on tap/bottles or other AF alternatives for you. I tend to just get soda water with lime but next time will check what beers they have . I don’t go often. Are you going for food too?

This is just a quick update whilst on a break at work. I managed ok over weekend and had to do some inner work to find out why I wanted to drink. All I came up with was that I was feeling sorry for myself and feeling down about being flawed in some way around alcohol. Then reminded myself that alcohol is actually really unhealthy and bad for my health, no matter what quantity. It can contribute to cancer too which runs in my family. I want to be healthy!

anyway, sending strength to everyone

Hi everyone. Day 2 here. And I’m still feeling wretched after the weekend. My anxiety levels are through the roof. I have a really important work presentation on Friday so trying hard to focus on that. Berating myself for wasting so much time feel hungover.
My partner is disappointed with me (he is a wonderful, supportive person but I have let him down too many times) - that is also my motivation to not go back. I have promised him again I’ll stop.
I’ve got a call booked in on Thursday with a friend of a friend who I met briefly recently. She is sober and evangelical about it the transformation she has undergone (she was a proper party girl, last one standing type) - I am looking forward to her raving about the benefits! Will pass on any motivational stuff!
I’ve also got in touch with my old therapist and asked for more sessions. Plus this support group. One day at a time but I am trying.
@Adsy1988 I’ve never done the extreme day trip BUT I did go to Copenhagen and had a sober weekend there! The restaurants are amazing and they did juice pairings!!
Hope you all have sunshine where you are.