The support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Summer 2026

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.
There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.
Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.
The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.
So climb aboard and join the shipmates (as well as our dog mascot Sid!) and see how good alcohol free life can be.

Day 6. Felt odd and panicky for about 10 minutes last night but thought to myself if this is as bad as it gets……
am also off until end June
poor Sid. So brave😁

Morning all.
Welcome @Theworldisyouroystercatcher - well done on getting to day 6. You will probably start to feel much better at around day 10, when the cortisol levels drop

I’m on a walking holiday so spending much less time on my phone (apart from using it to navigate!). Really grateful to be fresh every morning!

@Onewildandpreciouslife id love to go on a walking holiday, how fabulous. I think I’ve entered my hiking and gardening era.
If anyone hasn’t had a nice stroll lately if you google an area you like, close to home or further afield with “fancy, free walks” you get great print outs and they often have a nice rest stop for a AF option on the way.

After months of feeling refreshed I’m walking up feeling really tired, not sure if it’s just that I’ve overdone it with the exercise or it’s end of term drudgery, but I’m just not feeling my best.

@Theworldisyouroystercatcher you are doing fab, I found that first month the worst, very up and down emotionally and some weird arse dreams! One day at a time, you’ve got this x

Morning all.

Well after all the shenanigans I am putting an offer in on the large period flat we used to rent. We're not using four rooms here and the cost is too high.
I'll miss a private garden but the numbers stack up.
The vultures were circling yesterday and the cheeky f*cker local estate agent wanted me to accept a offer with another 20% off! Apparently the offer is from someone who knows the house. I bet, one of them looking for the kill.

Sounds v dodgy @WendyWagon with the estate agents in your area.

Moving is so stressful

You have my sympathy @WendyWagon, moving is a complete pain.

I am building up to buy a new house. A flat came up in my building a few months ago, which was nicer than my apartment (I currently rent, loooong story). I decided against in the end, and a lovely couple bought it to rent out as part of their retirement plans.

I got a chap at my door yesterday, was working from home. It was the couple who bought the flat. Apparently the tenant that they vetted turned it into a cannabis farm, so they’ve evicted them and changed the locks. Unbelievable!

@Adsy1988 I'll make you laugh on the cannabis story. We bought the ex cannabis farm! Back five years or so the tennant used every floor for plants plus they insulated the loft and put fire doors on. Not sure if it's effecting the sale! However we've enough rozzers in my family to know there's nothing doing here.

Wow at all this cannabis. I personally hate the stuff and I’m even more appalled at people growing it. It’s like a police drama.

I’d love a walking holiday too, though there are so many nice walks where we are and we don’t seem to find the time anymore.

@Theworldisyouroystercatcher yay, day 6. Not too long to go now till you’re over the worst.

@WendyWagon i hope the new/old flat works out. It all takes so long…

Today has been a struggle 😞 it’s my usual self sabotage behaviour. Things were going so well and I’ve been in such a good place for the last month. I ended up looking at the news (something I try to avoid ) and it’s just all so depressing and sad and makes me think what’s the point of it all. This is what used to turn me to drink. I didn’t today as I am determined to stay dry but I had to sit in the feelings and ended up emotional eating instead 🙄 I have a tummy ache now and feeling rather disappointed in myself. At least ticking off day 38 was a positive in my day

@TickleMeElmo1 well done on avoiding the booze. Be proud my friend. X

Evening all.
Dont be disappointed @TickleMeElmo1- you made a good choice! We can't be perfect every day but what we can do is choose not to drink. Be proud you ticked off day 38. Tomorrow you'll feel better. Paying it forward always.

I think it might be the weather @FiloPasty. Drudgery is the right word for it.

Great going @Theworldisyouroystercatcher.

On reading a recommendation on a recent thread elsewhere - something like 'small things that are worth it' I have bought President's butter. My gratitude for proper bread, toasted, with butter, knows no bounds.

Good luck with the flat, @WendyWagon. You seem to have been trying to sell for ages, and whilst the flat may not be perfect, nowhere is, and you'll feel a lot less stressed when you can relax in your new place. I am not a serial mover, but when I have I've hated having to keep everything viewer-ready all the time.

Morning all.

I hate selling too @ShyMaryEllen. I'm not tidy and I hate criticism.
I spoke with a different agent yesterday and he was helpful. We've had no luck with the national agent.
The flat would be a two year move until the DH retires. Not ideal but there are no small cottages for sale. People have pulled up the drawbridge.
I lived at the flat when I first gave up the booze and although I had plenty of corner shops I was never tempted. It was a happy place.

Happy Friday one and all. Day 12 here, still not tempted, but have went back to dipping my toes in the rooms again. AA helped me at the start, but I really got a bad vibe from the group I attended, and when I left I didn’t bother searching for a new group.

I have attended a few different meetings but none that have ticked all the boxes for me, so I’m reluctant to commit to any just now. I don’t know if being active within AA would help my recovery, but I’m willing to try anything.

I had a busy day doing various life admin tasks yesterday, going to make myself a posh lunch today and have a very chilled day.

Hop everyone is doing great this Friday.

Happy Friday shipmates.

AA wasn't for me really either @Adsy1988 - they were nice people on the whole but vibes off also, and one or two people in particular. I found SMART recovery very helpful. I did it in person (pre-Covid) and some Zoom sessions in lockdown. You can also do it online if there's not a group near you - Self-Help Addiction Recovery | UK Smart Recovery. Day 12 is epic; you're amazing.

So sorry you've been struggling @TickleMeElmo1 - it won't always be like this, I promise. I really try and avoid the news at the moment. It absolutely infuriates and sickens me. I lurk on Flaming June - Will The Wheels Finally Fall Off Don Snoreleone's Bus? - Trump Thread #165 | Mumsnet to try and maintain a sense of perspective. I try not to get started on a rant, as I've now reached the stage where only bats and small dogs would be able to hear me.

Sid has forgiven me for the indignity of his annual vet visit. He's a bit quiet today, as his boyfriend (a friend's Labrador) has had to be PTS. But he was very elderly and had been unwell for some time, so a kind and merciful release for him. We face the weekend sober and with hope for happy times.

Strength and courage. xx

Hi all,

I‘m finding today really hard. Day 27. Friday is definitely a trigger for me. After a long and difficult week, I have Friday afternoons off with the kids. Who are often overtired and grumpy. By the time 5pm came round I was always more than ready for a drink. We also always make pizza on Friday nights so it’s quite an ingrained habit- get fed up with the kids, numb it with alcohol, eat pizza, drink more wine, put kids to bed, drink more wine, go to bed too late, feel shit on Saturday morning.

The past few weekends it has been fine. I‘ve been happy to abstain, especially when I think of how I‘ll feel on Saturday morning.

But today isn’t so easy. I really fancy a nice glass of red wine. I‘m fed up. I know the benefits of not drinking are worth it. I know what will happen if I start drinking again. One glass will turn into a bottle. Or two. It always does.

I‘ve been avoiding the shop as much as possible and had to pop in for something this afternoon. I had to have firm words with myself as I stopped by the alcohol aisle.

When will this get easier?

Bless you @Kakkilakki - it's really horrible and unfair. But you had that firm word with yourself. You did that. And now you won't have to face the prospect of hoping your kids won't hear you puking their lovely pizza down the Porcelain Portal to Hell. Can you plan something to enjoy on Saturday morning? Maybe baking some lovely cupcakes with the kids? I know it's not terribly helpful.

We know you can do it. We believe in you. It does get better. x

I think the end of that first month is really hard. It doesn’t happen very often for me now but I do remember that red wine itch. I occasionally buy the £12 0.5% Pinot Noir from M&S look it’s not the same but there is something about the ritual of it that feels the same. It’s worth a try.
Around six weeks I really started seeing lots of benefits you’ve got this x

@REP22 thanks. I think that is actually part of the problem- we‘ve been busy the past few weekends. Tomorrow we have nothing on. DH is going away overnight which will also be difficult, but I know I don’t want to drink when I‘m alone with my kids anymore.

@FiloPasty thanks to you too :) I‘ve got an AF gin in my glass tonight. Unfortunately they don’t sell any AF wine in my local shop, I have to drive a bit further for that. I‘ve found other AF drinks that scratch the itch but not a red I like yet. Unfortunately no M&S where I am.

I hear you about being alone as well, I used to love Thursday nights as my husband did his hobby and I’d eat the food I wanted and drink far too much. The sad thing about my drinking is that really I was fine in public not having much but I’d get home and drown myself.

I can only tell you that it does get easier, you start feeling so much better, I’ve not forgotten how many times I woke up thinking never again and am incredulous that I seem to have made it - 275 days and counting!

It’s worth it, you are worth it x

Thanks @FiloPasty , you’re an inspiration!

I wouldn’t be here without this thread honestly, I’m so grateful x

Morning all.
Sorry you’ve had struggles over the last couple of days @TickleMeElmo1 and @Kakkilakki but it sounds like you’ve done a brilliant job of pushing through.

In the early days, the key thing is: do not pick up the first glass. Do whatever you need to do to achieve that. Holly Whitaker in Quit Like a Woman says you can’t fix everything at once - start with what’s killing you. Even if we don’t get alcohol- related health problems, alcohol is taking away the real you.

If you know that Friday is a big trigger @Kakkilakki it may help to plan ahead next time, so get stocked up!

I often wondered if I’d stay sober if my cancer came back. I mean, what’s the worst alcohol could do to me?! But actually, staying sober makes more sense than ever. My body has been amazing the last few days - I’ve walked 50 miles through stunning scenery and am still (relatively!) fresh with 2 days to go. Why would I want to dim that?

Morning all.
Always the voice of reason@Onewildandpreciouslife

We're having a hard time. I can't get the legal matter sorted. We'll throw a bit of money at it but I think I'll lose the latest battle. The specialist solicitors were anything but!

The house saga rumbles on and the period flat looks a good solution. I'll need to reduce the house next week and get new pictures. It's a rotten time to sell but the cost is too high and the temptation to drink is back because I can't get a sale to date. I'm beyond stressed and frightened of being back in rented.

The good news? My new RA drugs appear to be having a positive effect.

Morning all. I slept in. 10 hours of sleep! I must have needed it.

It is bloody hard from about 4-8 weeks @Kakkilakki. I have to be honest with you about that. You've gone past the enthusiasm stage and you're now at the point where I believe a lot of people fall / jump overboard (I speak from experience ). But.. great news.. you have this thread and we've been there and we know what it takes. So stay with us and we'll help you. It might help you to look back at some of your first few days of posting. Remind yourself why you are here. Your alcohol brain is going to throw everything at you to make you drink again. Don't let it.

I'm pleased the drugs are kicking in @WendyWagon. It sounds like beyond all the stress that you can stay in control of the situation. You can keep a handle on this. It's clear to me that you can.

@Onewildandpreciouslifeyou are very wise. I can picture you up on a hill taking in the joys of the outdoors and I'm very envious. Is this your first walking holiday? I'd love some recommendations. Every year I look at doing the Camino de Santiago but end up doing an all inclusive instead. Now I won't be drinking it makes sense to ditch it but need to get the husband on board.

Porcelain Portal to Hell - Haha!!