The support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Summer 2026

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.
There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.
Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.
The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.
So climb aboard and join the shipmates (as well as our dog mascot Sid!) and see how good alcohol free life can be.

Great news @WendyWagon!

Brilliant new @WendyWagon - Sid and I are cheering for your news! Hope it all works out well.

Lovely to hear about the seamstress @Lavrander - M does alterations, much in demand locally. It's fabulous on many fronts - decent clothing not going into landfill, wardrobe new lease of life, local seamstress gets some custom. Brilliant! You can pretend you're Harry Potter, getting fitted for his robes in Madam Malkins, or a royal lady preparing for her coronation 😀

Like you, I cannot understand how people can get sloshed in this weather. I can remember the occasion (years ago now) when I was fully-horizontal drunk on a weekday in a heatwave. Plus heatstroke. It was horrible and the ghost of the aromas involved occasionally haunts my nostrils. Never EVER again.

I was concerned for Sid last night, very VERY hot here. We swapped sides on the bed so he got full benefit of the (noisy but appreciated) fan and made it through. Here he is today; doing a hellacious hula in front of the floor fan. Be warned: 'tis a fully-nude Sid in the pic. 🫣

And a bonus Sidtip for you: peel a banana, wrap in clingfilm, place in freezer for several hours, et voila! - a lovely creamy ice pop to cool you down. Tastes like yellow Mini-Milks before the Unilever people got to 'em.

Strength and courage. xx

@WendyWagon do you think you might have a wheat intolerance?

@taylorean I think I might. I'm ok with rice but since the big ops I puff up with bread and pasta. I have bread twice a week and after that no dinner.
I might have to investigate. I love fruit as the lads will know. Fish too. I'm really ok with dairy (both my DC have milk allergies).
I used to eat the black bread in Germany and Denmark no issues. I might try that.

Is the banana-pop for dogs or people, @REP22? We are visiting one of the grandpuppies at the weekend, and if they are dog-friendly I might try to pick up a banana to make one for him when we get there - it's too far to take one ready frozen. He was a fan of a Mini Milk when he was teething years ago.

How’s everyone doing in this heat?

I'm going to share this on here as my DH is a very private person and would hate me talking to real life friends about it. He was massively hit on yesterday by a woman who knew he was married, happened in an adjacent to work kind of setting. He wears a wedding ring and she even said “I know you are married but if you are ever lonely I live v close to this work location”
I laughed it off yesterday, telling DH he still had it, but today I’m just a bit annoyed, I trust DH implicitly btw and he was just really embarrassed.

Good morning shipmates,

Another too-hot night. Sid slept on the floor. The banana pop is for humans @ShyMaryEllen, but good for dogs too, a nice healthy snack. Don't give banana peel to our canine chums though, it's hard for them to digest. I might make an ice-pop for Sid from cold gravy later if he's a good boy.

That's upsetting @FiloPasty - it's great that your husband is trustworthy, but that does not excuse the woman. So much for the sisterhood. If she does it again and I were your DH, I'd be tempted to say "Pick your morals up off the floor and demonstrate a bit of self-respect." If it is a work setting and it does happen again, he's always got the option of reporting the unwanted attention to her employers. Her managers probably won't be impressed that she's trying to pick up (married!) men on the clock and while representing their firm. I hope he's OK, and you too. ❤️

Hopefully the weather will break soon. Stay safe. Strength and courage. xx

@FiloPasty that was brazen, wow. I’m quite speechless. At least he knows to keep his distance and doesn’t have to second guess is she/isn’t she flirting with me.

I have the day off today as I’m going to a concert tonight. Obviously, going to see Harry Styles counts as essential travel in this heat.

Safe travels and enjoy Harry Styles @postcard - you lucky thing! Take your water bottle - Popbitch tells me Wembley are being unusually generous for Harry... Wembley Stadium relaxes rules for Harry Styles concerts during heatwave - News

Absolutely essential travel @postcard. Have a brilliant time.

I would be very annoyed @FiloPasty. You have to wonder what goes on in some people's heads sometimes. But what an odd thing to say. And also to put your DH in a position where in order to tell her to go do one it would be HIM being the mean one.

Yes last night was too hot. DH and I sleep in separate rooms - not a separation thing we just discovered one week (I think one of us was ill) that we both had so much better sleep on our own that we didn't revert. It's wonderful most of the time until you only have the one fan and it wasn't my turn last night.

I forgot to do my Friday treat klaxon but I hope that whatever you're doing this evening that you can bookmark the end of the week with something that makes you happy, content, calm, joyful and never anxious, sad or sick.

@postcardgood luck and enjoy.
@FiloPasty that story is a bit shocking.
My DH use to get lots of attention. My sister once said he'll never cheat he's too romantically lazy (true).
However the things that man has done for me over the last two years are truly heart warming. I agree with Rep, Miss Saucy is not one of the sisterhood!

Pints of water and a few orange juice tonight.

Thanks you’ve all made me feel better, sisterhood indeed!

Starting to cool a bit here, thank goodness :)

Morning all. Not sure if it's the heat or these new meds. Up with the dog at 3am!
I'm so looking forward to the rain tonight.

I've had a small win on the legal matter. I remembered something from my time at HMRC, fully checked with my lawyer and accountant and I'm right. I've now got to push it through. I imagine the other side spitting feathers. They truly are the worse word you can think of.

The DH and I have been doing a bit of garden weeding each night. Ten minutes in my factor 50! Tis looking better.
The roses I inherited are fabulous this year. Mine in pots are a bit crap. As the house has been bought by a family member I shall gift them the climbers.
I wanted to wipe the smile off the dodgy local agents face with a sold sign but the big cheese agent has advised to wait to see the money.

I'm off for a second viewing of the Tudor cottage on Tuesday with the bff.
Another load of sorting today and then next month the furniture cull will be upon us.

My late mother use to say no experience is ever wasted.

Morning
No rain expected here.
Go Wendy - have them wish they'd never come for you! Did the linen jacked arrive?

Just come back from my appointment with the seamstress. All felt very Madame Malkins indeed. I'm having a 70s cardigan shortened so it doesn't end at my widest point, trousers and a skirt taken in and shortened, and a skirt that I bought for its lovely pattern but that I can never find the right shoes for turned into a button down top. I'm really excited. Much more than if I'd bought something new. It is costing as much as new but I'm sure in the end I'll get so much more wear out of them. And maybe it's the start of something!
Ive often thought about getting my wedding dress turned into something else so we'll see how this goes and maybe blow it. I was spending so much on wine before I shan't feel guilt now about spending on things I can actually keep.

No plans now for the rest of the day. Feel a bit out of sorts. Too warm to go at anything with any gusto. I saw someone on our walk this morning with an easel, painting the lovely view I climb up a hill for each morning. Now painting feels like the sort of thing you can do on a day like today. I can't be making scones.

Hello all.
Would it be ok if I joined?

I am currently on day 9 of no alcohol. My usual drinking habits are drinking once a week, sometimes more depending on plans I have but my problem is I am not good at stopping at just 1. 1 glass of wine would usually turn in to nearly the whole bottle. I also only smoke when I drink so that’s another reason to give up. I do vape the rest of the time and would love to also give that up at some point.

I used to drink much more, maybe several times a week and even if I was by myself but when I got back in to reading and gaming that stopped me as I can’t enjoy a book or concentrate on red dead redemption 2 if I am tipsy!

For me, there are just certain situations that make me want to have a drink. Always social ones but only with certain people. This week, I saw my friend and I drove to hers, had two ‘trip’ drinks (non alcoholic, first one contains CBD and the second one was lion’s mane) I think these may be the key for me as the lion’s mane makes me feel more socially open without the alcohol. I suffer terrible hangovers, physically I can get through but my mental health is bad for at least 2 days after a drink. My friends aren’t the type to push me in to having one though which is good.

I am in awe of anyone who doesn’t drink alcohol. I’m looking forward to feeling better, sleeping better and being healthier. I’m in my early 40s now and the only time I’ve been a long stretch without drinking was when I was pregnant 9 years ago.

Sorry if I am rambling!

Well done on day 9 @VanGoSunflowers. You're of course welcome here.

I was the same with only smoking when drinking - it's so silly really when you think about it. I didn't even have the 'addict' reason for why I smoked but just went hand in hand - it definitely made hangovers worse.

Same with drinking with people - be prepared for that to be the hardest part - they are far more likely to put pressure on you- even when they say they are fully supportive you may feel that you're letting them down by not joining in.

You'll find that you can still be socially open without drinking - just remember how you used to be able to talk to your friends before you discovered alcohol! It just takes a bit of practice to find that again. You may well be not as wild with the lubrication but you absolutely won't have the morning after feeling of why did I do that, say that?!

You're going to feel amazing. Keep going.

@VanGoSunflowers welcome. I'm Wendy and I gave up the booze in January 2022.
Ask any questions you like.
I use the daily post like a diary. It helps me.

@Lavrander & @WendyWagon thank you for the warm welcome!
Definitely looking forward to not having the ‘why did I say that’ feeling! It’s easy to excuse because I am a ‘happy drunk’ but I think I am a bit annoying when I have had a few!

The main questions for me I guess are what’s the best thing about not drinking for you? That’s a question to everyone. What things did you notice improve? Big or small!

I had a virus about 2 months ago that didn’t really knock me off my feet but still don’t feel I have fully recovered from. I was exercising regularly before I got that and just don’t have the energy at the moment apart from my usual dog walks.

So this week I have been eating very well and of course not drinking or smoking in order to try and make myself feel better and have more energy. I have a Labrador and an 8yo DS and I know I am a better mother and better dog owner if I’m not hungover!

@VanGoSunflowers I think for me it's not feeling embarrassed or ashamed. I just didn't have an off button. I could drink 2-3 bottles of wine with company. In the morning I knew I'd embarrassef myself. I'd also become very fat (bmi 43) and I was ashamed of that. I'd always been glamorous and had beautiful clothes. However I'd spill drink down them and my face calapses after I drink alcohol. I look like a spitting image puppet or Sir Les!
I looked in the mirror one day and said who are you punishing because they're not here anymore (my mum was a long time dead). I wasted my 40/50s like that.
Although I've been really ill with unrelated issues I know I'm a better person for not being alcohol dependent. I don't really crave the drink anymore and I'm thankful I didn't kill myself. Live is for living and although we all have a lot going on we can invest in our sobriety (and spend the money on clothes and make up!). Yey.

@VanGoSunflowers the biggest one for me was that I’d drink to reward myself, or for feeling stressed, tired etc I can’t tell you how much easier it is just to navigate life sober. My stress levels are way down.
I’ve also lost 2.5 stone easily so both feel and look better x

Welcome @VanGoSunflowers ! I think the best thing is the mental freedom I have. My drinking was getting very bad, and I think I got out just in time. I’d started to plan where I went and what I did around whether I could drink.

You don’t realise how much alcohol is taking away from your potential until you get free of it - and bizarrely I became much more confident socially because I could be genuinely me, without worrying if it was alcohol making me say or do things, or my actual reaction.

So many good things
The best is just being a bit more serene - ie because I don't have that feeling of what the heck did I say (even if it wasn't that bad), I never really fully appreciated that THAT feeling was always around, because it was almost always the day after I drank.
Now when I do say something silly it just doesn't follow me around in my head like it did before. So I sleep better, and just feel better in my head. I feel so level that sometimes I have to remind myself of how I felt before because I can't imagine feeling like that any more (I have to really think about it in those moments when I think ooh what would it be like to just have a drink with X this weekend - shit - that's what).

Also - I have to be honest - being thinner is wonderful. I am more confident in my body. Having better skin and better hair because the stuff that I was using on it before was just keeping it from looking dreadful; but now it actually works!

My self care budget is now rather large, and that's a best thing too.

Ha - I haven't lost any weight really!

But - I'm at the age where it creeps up and tends to shift to the tummy.

So I'm taking it as a real win that I haven't gained anything over the past 18 months.

The TryDry app estimates I've 'saved' 2120 units, £2,300 and 147,000 calories!

You’re all doing so well, I hope you’re proud of yourselves every day. I have always looked at people that don’t drink and been in awe of them actually. But my next thought was always “I wish I could do that but probably will never manage it” like I am undermining myself before I have even started.

I am fortunate enough to not struggle with my weight but I think that’s down to luck rather than anything else.

For me also, it’s the spiral of bad habits after a drink. Hangover days spent lying about not doing a great deal (unless I have DS or I am walking my dog) everything feels like a chore, I eat absolute rubbish, I have IBS so that flares up too, I don’t want to talk to anyone etc. I really want to break that cycle!

Sat here with another one of my trio drinks feeling good and have decided that the money I save will be spent on books!

A great plan @VanGoSunflowers- and you'll have more time to read them and take them in too. Do you have a particular genre you love or just an overall bookworm?
You are capable of more than you think. Everyone on this thread has been exactly where you are now.