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Alcohol support

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The support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Summer 2026

64 replies

Lavrander · 04/06/2026 17:13

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.
There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.
Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.
The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.
So climb aboard and join the shipmates (as well as our dog mascot Sid!) and see how good alcohol free life can be.

OP posts:
WhatMaggieDid · 05/06/2026 14:58

@Kakkilakki over the last two years I’ve pretty much done all the major events sober - just not joined up. I’ve done Christmas, gigs, festivals, birthdays and holidays and I can honestly say that the memories I have of those events are the happiest, clearest most treasured memories of all. I can sit and take myself back and smile - no alcohol haze and no lost time. It’s the most amazing realisation!

Kakkilakki · 05/06/2026 15:20

@WhatMaggieDid that‘s great to hear, and you and @REP22 are both right. I have so many memories of happy events that are tainted by alcohol-induced arguments (mainly Christmas) or embarrassment (mainly weddings). This is a really long-awaited holiday and I want to enjoy it, early mornings and all!

WhatMaggieDid · 05/06/2026 15:36

@Kakkilakki there will be times when it won’t be easy but my top tip is to plan a moment every day when you can be fully present. Just sit with a coffee or a soft drink and just soak it all in. I did this in the morning, I woke up earlier than the others (because I’d slept well and wasn’t hungover), made a coffee and then went and sat with a view and watched the world wake up. Just a small thing but it really made me grateful for not having drunk the day before and strengthened my resolve for the coming day, because I wanted to have the same feeling of contentment the following morning 🌅

Kakkilakki · 05/06/2026 16:12

@WhatMaggieDid that idea is really helpful and just the type of thing that will keep me focused on the bigger picture, thanks!

Adsy1988 · 05/06/2026 16:32

Hello all. Thank you for the new thread @Lavrander. Day 5 here.

Carpetburn · 05/06/2026 20:27

Checking in and catching up!
apologies for radio silence. I’m back at work so it’s been busy and I’ve been falling into bed early every night!
Hoping for a quiet weekend. Haven’t watched any tv all week so binging a bit of it this evening. Any decent recommendations anyone? I like most things but do like a good series to get my teeth into.

ShyMaryEllen · 05/06/2026 20:35

I'd be interested in TV recommendations too.

I got a reply about the 'AF' cider, apologising and taking my comments on board, and saying that they take matters like this very seriously and will ensure it doesn't happen again etc. Better than nothing, I suppose.

TickleMeElmo1 · 05/06/2026 20:54

Kakkilakki · 05/06/2026 13:35

Oh I just realised I‘ve changed my name since the last thread 😂 Previously known as village idiot.

I did wonder and had a feeling it was you 🥰 you’ve got some great advice already about your holiday, please check in with us when you can, might good you’re feeling tempted . Will there be AF options there?

TickleMeElmo1 · 05/06/2026 21:06

Something kind of cool happened today . There is song I really like from one of my favourite bands. I put it on and was singing along in the shower when I realised that it fits in perfectly with my sobriety journey. I googled the song and got this result : ‘Frontman Jim Adkins wrote the song about his personal journey with quitting drinking, representing the difficult but liberating choice to face life and take responsibility for one’s self’

If anyone want to listen, this is it 🎶

postcard · 05/06/2026 23:28

Hello again. I missed a couple of threads. Thank you for the new one @Lavrander

I loved the elderflower story. It’s probably entered the lore of that hospital.

Still fine here, 11 months with only a few blips. Most recently at a festival, a couple of beers to be sociable. It doesn’t have the same effect on me, which I was surprised by, I thought I’d be quite affected. It was ok and it didn’t open the floodgates. I’ve had birthdays, big achievements, big upsets, as well as socialising on a smaller scale without alcohol.

That song is really nice @TickleMeElmo1.

@ShyMaryEllen that was good of you to notify the shop.

WendyWagon · 06/06/2026 06:55

Morning all. Raining here but at least no watering.

Adsy1988 · 06/06/2026 07:43

Morning lads. A little overcast here this morning, but just glad it’s the weekend.

I was lucky enough with the weather to get out playing my pastime last night (lawn bowls). I have played a couple of times this week but only really because I had to.

I haven’t relapsed since I stopped in July 2025 until last weekend, it came as a massive shock to my system. I was crippled with fear, anxiety, self-loathing and shame. Other than work I spent the first three days of this week just living in my head, hating myself. This was a part of why I quit (I’m an alcoholic, I had to stop), but you just forget the hugely negative impact that drinking has not only on your physical health, but mentally too the consequences are crazy, for me anyway.

Have a lovely weekend everyone x

postcard · 06/06/2026 09:57

Good morning. Just me and the cat are up.

@Adsy1988 lawn bowls must be so weather dependent. Re the relapse, I didn’t follow on the previous thread so apologies if this isn’t right: The way I think of it for myself is 1) did I lose control, or was it peer pressure (ridiculous in itself at my age), or boredom 2) does it matter that I don’t have an unblemished record, I do this for myself. 20-30 units over almost a year, surely hugely better.

I watched the Kylie documentary last night. Really good, I only planned to watch one episode and finished all 4. The most surprising thing was that she had an Aussie accent. Of course she does, but I’d never watched neighbours or saw her interviewed.

WhatMaggieDid · 06/06/2026 10:03

Adsy1988 · 06/06/2026 07:43

Morning lads. A little overcast here this morning, but just glad it’s the weekend.

I was lucky enough with the weather to get out playing my pastime last night (lawn bowls). I have played a couple of times this week but only really because I had to.

I haven’t relapsed since I stopped in July 2025 until last weekend, it came as a massive shock to my system. I was crippled with fear, anxiety, self-loathing and shame. Other than work I spent the first three days of this week just living in my head, hating myself. This was a part of why I quit (I’m an alcoholic, I had to stop), but you just forget the hugely negative impact that drinking has not only on your physical health, but mentally too the consequences are crazy, for me anyway.

Have a lovely weekend everyone x

@Adsy1988 it’s the same for me. The physical consequences (weight gain, poor sleep, fatigue) are one thing but the effect on my mental health is another thing entirely.

REP22 · 06/06/2026 12:39

Me too @Adsy1988 and @WhatMaggieDid - me too. No-one hates us more than we loathe ourselves at our lowest points. You still are doing really well, despite what your head is telling you relentlessly. You're still here, still accounting for it. Keep going. ❤️💐

I'm looking forward to watching the Kylie documentary @postcard - I'm glad you thought it was good. I've always liked her (watching Neighbours twice a day - like Josh Widdicombe) and she's had a fascinating life.

TV recommendations from me would be variable - but:
Happy Valley (BBC)
Broadchurch (Netflix)
Sex and The City (Prime)
Original All Creatures Great & Small (BBC)
The Tudors (4+)
The White Queen/White Princess (4+)
Dear England (BBC)
Miss Marple with Joan Hickson (U)
are just a few. I've also found back series of The Dog House on 4+, which I enjoy from time to time.

Sid likes:
Traffic Cops/Motorway Cops (5) - though "not enough dogs"
Police Interceptors (5) - "more dogs involved"
24 Hours in Police Custody (4+)... you can see a theme developing.
Downton Abbey (Netflix) - though only the first few seconds of the opening credits where Isis' bottom is full and centre-scene. I have not yet summoned the courage to tell him that Isis was a lady.

Strength and courage fair friends. It will be alright. xx

TickleMeElmo1 · 06/06/2026 13:56

@Adsy1988 @WhatMaggieDid totally understand. The shame and anxiety are my top reasons to give up , right up there with my health. I did not like where my drinking was heading. My lowest point was crying uncontrollably to a senior manager after a panic attack at work, this was immediately followed by a counselling session where I was asked if I drink to excess. I said no… wasn’t about to tell the therapist I had a double vodka Diet Coke just before our call. This was beginning of April. I haven’t told anyone about this but good to get it out. I no longer feel ashamed of that, I actually think it needed to happen as it brought me closer to the realisation that I needed to stop drinking. We're all on this journey together, and there will be challenges along the way, but we'll keep moving forward.

@REP22 thanks for the list. I had SATC on dvd box set back in the day. Loved it. Have you watched And Just Like that? It’s the follow up to SATC- not as good but I still enjoyed it

@postcard you’re doing so well, I’m going to a gig in August so that will be a first AF one for me. Normally I’d have a few beers….

On another note, I decided to try a new workout on apple fitness this morning. Did a 30 minute Latin dance one and omg, was so fun and a crazy calorie burn, more than my usual HIIT. I can’t dance and have zero coordination but no one was watching and I had a blast! I did add learning a dance routine on my 50 before 50 list so this is a good step forward.

Happy Saturday everyone

REP22 · 06/06/2026 14:19

Oh bless you @TickleMeElmo1 - I can well understand you. The "do you drink to excess?", "Roughly how many units do you consume a week?" and similar questions from that stable can be real pricks to our psyches. I hate being untruthful, but masking what was really going on from professionals was a whole fresh hell of mortification. That's not who you are anymore. You are amazing and your posts and insights are joys to hear. The dancing sounds great. I am quite literally murder on a dancefloor myself, but god loves an enthusiastic trier, hehe.

I never did watch any of AJLT; I was on the MN thread discussing it, but that was as far as I went. I worried that it might tarnish my enjoyment of the original SATC. I did have an opportunity to meet SJP last year, she was lovely.

Absolutely weeing down with rain here. Cricket off. Sid not happy. Here he is on a happier day, enjoying a pretty hedgerow. x

The support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Summer 2026
TickleMeElmo1 · 06/06/2026 16:10

@REP22 I understand, I was also unsure about watching it, especially after the movies were such a flop but I couldn’t resist. It was a bit too woke for me. There has been a mention of it on a few podcasts I listen to as they mention Miranda’s decision to stop drinking and the book ‘Quit like a woman’ I haven’t read this one yet but it’s on my list.

So cool you got to meet SJP- she’s fabulous!

Adsy1988 · 06/06/2026 17:54

TickleMeElmo1 · 06/06/2026 13:56

@Adsy1988 @WhatMaggieDid totally understand. The shame and anxiety are my top reasons to give up , right up there with my health. I did not like where my drinking was heading. My lowest point was crying uncontrollably to a senior manager after a panic attack at work, this was immediately followed by a counselling session where I was asked if I drink to excess. I said no… wasn’t about to tell the therapist I had a double vodka Diet Coke just before our call. This was beginning of April. I haven’t told anyone about this but good to get it out. I no longer feel ashamed of that, I actually think it needed to happen as it brought me closer to the realisation that I needed to stop drinking. We're all on this journey together, and there will be challenges along the way, but we'll keep moving forward.

@REP22 thanks for the list. I had SATC on dvd box set back in the day. Loved it. Have you watched And Just Like that? It’s the follow up to SATC- not as good but I still enjoyed it

@postcard you’re doing so well, I’m going to a gig in August so that will be a first AF one for me. Normally I’d have a few beers….

On another note, I decided to try a new workout on apple fitness this morning. Did a 30 minute Latin dance one and omg, was so fun and a crazy calorie burn, more than my usual HIIT. I can’t dance and have zero coordination but no one was watching and I had a blast! I did add learning a dance routine on my 50 before 50 list so this is a good step forward.

Happy Saturday everyone

I have tried since March 2023 to quit, but Ive known I had a problem for 10+ years before that, just choosing to ignore it.

I quit five or six times during the window of March 2023 and July 2025, but I never told anyone why, not even my partner. I just said I was doing it for my health, my career prospects were on the up, so made sense practically.

But by keeping the real reason why to myself, I felt it protected me from others knowing? I felt such shame at the problem I have, I still do in many respects.

My lowest point came in July 2025. Physically I was a wreck, I was hallucinating, hearing things, I think my longest period without touching a drink other than alcohol was four days. All the time I was still holding down a job. I don’t know how I’m still alive.

The house of cards was falling, I could see it. I was done, making plans to end it, I just could not see a way out. It is still horrible to think back and remember how low I was, I haven’t looked back to late June/early July in a while. I just couldn’t see a way out. I cried myself to sleep most nights wishing to die in my sleep.

I knew I was going to get the call in from my line manager, minor questions had been asked, and I think enough digging into previous incidents would (or should have) unearthed a massive problem that I had been masking for years. Five years before, during Covid, my partner broke lockdown rules to go and move in with his friends for a bit after a falling out, and I took that as free will to drink. It got so bad then I had to hang up on my boss as I was sharing my screen and my hand was that jittery that it was embarrassing. I had to say I was having connection issues, cancel the driving lesson booked for that day, and chug probably a third of a bottle of wine, struggling to keep it down.

But this was the end, I knew if I didn’t say to my manager, I would likely be dead before the end of the year.

Having that conversation saved my life. I cannot dress it up any other way. My manager saved my life. He was the most helpful person I could have at that time. I was desperate to save my career, I have worked so hard for it. Ultimately I think he had to sit down when I told him everything, he said he had not the first idea, he couldn’t believe it. Said that I had hidden it incredibly well, as he was hyper vigilant after another colleague was caught drinking, but I showed so many signs during this time.

He fought so hard with me to get me the help I needed, and I know had a huge say in what would happen to my role. Hand on heart I should have been sacked. I was so fortunate to save my career. And my manager was the one that saved it, and who I owe so much to.

Covid caused a lot of people to become alcohol dependent, but I was already a hardened drinker, it just made it easier for me to hide. I never missed a day in the office due to a hangover or drink, I liked a drink but I’d never drink beyond 9/10pm, or maybe rarely.

Ive kinda rambled but I’ll end on this. It is funny how your perception could come full circle?

When Covid hit I thought all my Christmases had came at once. I didn’t need to stop drinking at 10pm, I could drink as late as I liked, as long as I got a few hours rest.

Then when I decided enough was enough I hated Covid for speeding up my alcohol dependency.

Now, if it wasn’t for Covid would I have ever got sober? Maybe, maybe not. But it helped, so I guess I’m back to being thankful Covid happened. Or at least the restrictions allowing me to WFH.

Anyway, I’m having a lovely Saturday afternoon/evening with the cat and a can of juice x

Lavrander · 06/06/2026 18:01

Hi all. Happy Saturday.
I watched a bit of AJLT but found it all a bit annoying... to say the least. They turned lovely smart funny Miranda into a bumbling idiot and the new characters in it needed to get a grip. I have a suspicion the writers had never spoken to a woman over 40.

I'm still watching ER for the second time around. Nothing else I can find and it's a classic.

I was wondering the other day whether everyone experienced shame and anxiety with drinking. Do we just get used to it? I can't quite compute just how terrible it was for my mental health and yet I kept doing it. Now when I say to people it 'made me sad and fat' I can't help wondering if they are sad too but just don't know it? I never want to feel that way again but was it only me/ us? Or do they think they're sad about other things?

Love the sound of your workout @TickleMeElmo1
. I used to enjoy a bit of Zumba but it appears to have gone out of fashion a bit and now it's all reformer Pilates!

OP posts:
postcard · 06/06/2026 18:01

@Adsy1988 that sounds like such a difficult time and well done to your manager for having the time for you. You must have worked so hard to be so appreciated. I hope your days are sunnier now. (Present rain excluded.) ☀️

REP22 · 06/06/2026 18:34

Oh @Adsy1988 - your story sounds so familiar, and so heartbreaking. I was (and am) so lucky in having a supportive manager at work, it makes such a difference. There was a point where I would sleep in the toilets at work, so p~ssed was I from the night before. I have no business being alive after the amount of stuff I put away at the time. But I'm so glad you have made it to here. You are fantastic; even if you don't always feel like it. 💐💐💐

@Lavrander I think some people are sadly so mired in their own denial. I'm sure they are sad, for their own reasons, but unwilling to face their fears - or think they are invincible. Lots of people drink until it kills them, knowing it is killing them, but unable or unwilling to stop. I think it is a bit like the people who live in Herculaneum and Pompeii today. They live literally looking over the ruins of what happened in AD79, with Vesuvius quietly steaming away behind them, going about their daily lives, with most never, for a second, reflecting that what happened to the poor sods in the same place as them a while back will ever happen to them. But it will. I was ashamed and mindful of what it was doing to my mental and physical health, for some of the time. But I shut it out; I thought I was "self-medicating" and somehow creating "happiness" for myself. Madness. Sometimes I look at the 'gentlemen of the bottle' who congregate in the city bus station, winos; down-and-outs; tramps; etc. - and I think to myself that at least they are openly honest about who and what they are. Better people than I am, I feel.

@TickleMeElmo1 and @Lavrander the wokeness and character development (especially Miranda) were what put me off AJLT, I confess. I loved the first film, but felt the second was borderline offensive and wasn't eager for more of the same. The Miranda/Steve storyline wasn't in keeping with the character arcs throughout the original series and was (I felt) disrespectful of the time and emotions invested in the characters and their story by fans of the show. I used to think I was like Carrie Bradshaw, being witty and urbane swilling my drinks. Now I realise I was actually a different Carrie altogether - that one who goes nuts and torches all her mates at the prom.

WendyWagon · 06/06/2026 18:57

@Adsy1988 sending support x

WendyWagon · 06/06/2026 19:23

I didn't watch AJLT.
I loved sex and the city but I didn't have sky so I never saw it.

@Adsy1988 I'm sure I lost a few jobs due to my drinking. I never had support anywhere I worked as I was SLT. It's very competitive on that hill!
Alcohol is very addictive and a huge amount of people don't acknowledge that.They see it as fun but if you can't tolerate it, it becomes dangerous.
I never wanted to harm myself but I do understand as I felt that I had nothing left in me last year when the doctors couldn't control my pain.
I think sometimes we also don't want to be a burden to our friends and family.
I often wondered if my ill health was caused by my drinking but the doctors said no. I was relieved but also suffered guilt and shame. That's what alcohol does to us. It's not the happiness drug advertising portrays!
You've come so far @Adsy1988 you have a different life ahead of you. Freedom and good health. Enjoy the new you. X

TickleMeElmo1 · 06/06/2026 22:12

@Adsy1988 thank you for being so open and so vulnerable with us and for sharing your story. Sounds like you have an amazing manager and you are working through a lot and having support is so important. I also struggled with feelings of self hatred and just feeling so ashamed so I understand. This group is amazing and I’m so glad I joined 💐

@REP22 I agree, the first one was ok but second was shocking. I also hate what they did to both Steve’s and Harry’s characters in AJLT

@Lavrander what season are you on with ER? I’m on first watch and on season 14…there is a relapse storyline that’s so raw and really hard to watch but am glad they filmed it like that.

I had my first AF beer today and it was pretty good. Was the Sainte Etienne one from Aldi. I popped it into my calorie counter app and it shows there is 2.5g of fibre in a 500ml bottle Who knew? I’m trying to increase my fibre intake so found it interesting