The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Evening shipmates
I hope you’re starting to feel better @TheMentalMentalLoad
Sounds like the right decision on the estate agent @WendyWagon but annoying you’ve had to do it!
Sorry to hear about your MIL @ShyMaryEllen i hope she’s doing ok. I’ve had the odd beetroot shot here and there (in my running days it was one of the things I tried for recovery (and it was concentrated juice no alcohol despite the shot moniker). But I’ve not tried a full glass of it!
Can definitely relate to the time I have now. Sometimes I’m productive and sometimes I just sit and scroll. But either way I’m not drinking so that’s good. Didn’t realise it was Blue Monday today although I know January always feels like a very long month!
Nit too bad a day for me all things being said. Work is hard but it always is. Managed the gym before work so smug levels restored.
@Becky3825 hope youre doing ok?

@Lavrander you've now made me feel guilty about the Lumea in my cupboard that I wanted for Xmas 2 years ago and then haven’t used! Putting it on my list :)

Evening all!!
At the end of the day I am officially on my new record of 7 days. It feels good, especially after a stressful day at work made me very keen for a relaxing glass..
But I am here, sober and going to enjoy a nice meal once I've gotten the small one to bed.
I relate to the boredom thing. Also habit! Get home, into PJs, drink in hand. Every time!

Sorry to those feeling under the weather. A snotty lurgy this way comes I think.. it seems like everyone around us has it!

Thanks for the MIL concern, shipmates. She's doing ok - still inhaling oxygen, but sitting up in bed. she thinks she'll be sent home this evening (she won't), or over the next couple of days (possible, but unlikely, I think).

That all sounds tricky, @WendyWagon. I hope the new agent finds a buyer very soon.

I'm going to head bedwards soon, I think. I have to be up fairly early in the morning, and have things to do in the bedroom - if I put them off until tomorrow they stand a good chance of going under the radar again, and I am trying to keep the bedroom a restful place of calm for my hypnosis. Speaking of which, I got a set of those eye massaging headphones - they are strange. They make a grunting sound as they vibrate, and it's louder than the bluetoothed content. I might get used to them, but suspect I'll be sticking to my Snoozeband ones.

As we have newbies, may I ask if anyone can recommend any good visualisation hypnosis tracks, please? I have lots, but the fashion seems to have changed since I gave up drinking the last time, and there are fewer that take the listener on a journey than there used to be. I like the ones that do the 'deeper, deeper' thing to get you into trance, then walk you through the woods and on to a house or something where the affirmations start. My favourite took you through a garden to a field which led to a moored boat. You got in the boat and floated to a healing sanctuary that you visualised yourself, where there were healers ready to help you. I deleted it somehow, and can't for the life of me find it again, despite spending hours asking Chat GPT etc, and rooting through old iPods. I think the whole model has changed to one where you subscribe to apps now - I'd do that if I knew 'my' track would be there, but I don't want to be shelling out numerous charges of £80 pa on a fruitless mission. If anyone recognises the track, please let me know? I ask again every so often, and one day someone will be able to point me to it. It had a male voice, if that helps.

@Lavrander that is awesome advice. Thanks so much. I’m going to now have a lovely evening making the mother of all lists!

@ShyMaryEllen have you tried YouTube https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wiiG2SD6p4g

Thanks, yes, I have, but I know I had the original on either iTunes or saved to an iPod. It definitely wasn’t on YouTube. The boat goes over a lake rather than a river and the setting is UK or remotely possibly US. I don’t know why I deleted it!

Hello mes braves, I'm here on day 2 again after a horrible drinking binge on the weekend. I don't even know how it happened exactly. Again, I was trying to get some stuff done and decided it would be OK to have a few drinks. I just kept going out and buying more wine, and I cleaned the kitchen and then wrote and submitted a book review I'd been putting off. Shortly thereafter I went from feeling fabulous to feeling so SO ill, with no transition in between. Went to bed and tossed and turned and sweated all night, and then had a massive hangover that lasted for two full days. I just can't do this any more.

On night two of the hangover I had to host a book group at my house. It was awful having to shop for food and drink and set it all out when I was so shaky and nauseous. At least the book group was a distraction though. I feel better today. It was my first day back at teaching and it was such a relief to be sober (even though I'm not quite back to normal).

It's been a long time since I made myself that sick with booze, and right now I feel like I never want to drink again. I wish I could bottle up that feeling (no pun intended) and remind myself how horrible it is.

I feel like if I could just get a sober stretch of a couple of weeks, I could stick with it. It's just very hard for me to get past the early days. I am determined to get there though.

I've been reading the Holly Whitaker book Quit Like a Woman and it's very very good. I like the focus on self-care and the move away from guilt/shame and so on.

@FaithHopeCarnage what you said about AA was indeed very helpful. You don't have to be a full-on true believer to derive benefit from it. I will keep going for now as I need the real-life support.

I hope I'm not driving everyone to the end of their patience (or worse, triggering anyone) with my serial relapses 😥It is a relief for me to have a place where I can be honest.

Well done to all of you for keeping on. The stories here are very inspiring and I keep hoping I will get to where most of you are.

when I chose the username elusivehope by the way, I didn't mean for it to be so appropriate. Sigh. In terms of how elusive sobriety has been for me.

Ironically I have a friend I met in AA who currently isn't going to any meetings and who has relapsed in a big way. She keeps leaving long drunken messages on my phone. I feel really badly for her but I also feel that me trying to offer her support is currently a bit of a case of the blind leading the blind! Anyway she has made an appointment with the local drug and alcohol service this week, and she wants me to go with her. I want to support her but I'm not entirely sure that going with her to the appt (and hearing her private medical details?) is a good idea. (She has been through rehab before, lost her DC and got them back, so this isn't new to her.) I'm thinking of offering to meet her for coffee instead.

She also might not remember that she asked me to go with her; she often forgets what she has said in these messages 😥

One promise I've made to myself is that I won't post on this thread on a day when I've been drinking. This is partly because being on the receiving end of someone's drunken ramblings is not pleasant.

Anyway seeing someone who is at risk of losing their DC again, after fighting so hard to get well and get them back, is heartbreaking. It reminds me of how much I have in my life and how much I don't want to lose.

On a happier note, everything feels calm here tonight. My head is not hurting. Cat is splayed on the bed on her back, belly up, which is a sign she's happy. I just helped DS2 with his homework.

My life as I have it is so good. I just need to slowly rewire the maladaptive neural pathways I've created in my brain.

I've been reading the thread every day, just lurking.

@WendyWagon that's shite about your estate agent, but at least you know about it now and can take action. The housing market is so so tricky.

@ThistimeImdone I'm so sorry about your brother, sending you 💐

@WorkMess2025 big congrats on your 7 days!

Love to Sid and everyone, see you tomorrow.

Oops, part of my last message got cut off somehow. I also said:

@WhatMaggieDid that picture is breathtaking. The light! It reminds me of walks I've taken close to an estuary in north Wales (my friend has a holiday cottage there and it's one of the most peaceful places I've ever seen).

@HorrorFan81 I'm glad the encounter with your friend went so well.

@ShyMaryEllen sending warm thoughts to you re your MIL.

Thinking of you too, @Becky3825 ! You've got this sister.

Sorry I've just made so many posts. I fear I'm a woman of many words not few, even when I'm sober. 😳

@elusivehope it’s great that you get relief from posting here, please don’t stop posting and don’t think for a moment that any of us would lose patience. We’ve all been there you see.

I’ve been on and off for the last 8 years, posting here under different user names, leaving MN completely a couple of times and it’s only now that I feel brave enough to say I will never drink again. For me it’s come on the back of a minor health scare which has given me the impetus to change.

Keep on keeping on. Stick with us and keep posting x

Hi all,.I'm finally coming out the other side of the lurgy; goodness it was a rough one!
@REP22 I love Sid! Please keep the photos coming.
@WendyWagon how frustrating! I hope the new ones are better.
@ShyMaryEllen I hope MIL is better asap.

Hugs to all struggling. Sorry I'd missed quite a bit and struggling to remember all the details in my post viral mehness!

I've found the spare time quite a shock too, I spend far too much on. Instagram - so I love ethe idea of lists, thank you @Lavrander .

@elusivehope keep posting! We are here and you will get there xx

@Becky3825 you doing ok lovely?

Keep on keeping on guys. You are a fabulous bunch and I'm very grateful to be on here with you all xx

Morning all. I too have the dreaded lurgy and feeling rough. And I too can relate to the not quite knowing what to do with all this "extra" time I now have. I had really, really hoped to get back in to exercise after years of not doing any, but alas, my motivation has not yet stretched that far. I live in hope, though. And I am at least getting out with my dog twice a day, every day, whatever the weather. And feeling able to try venturing out on new walks whereas before it would have been just one more thing I'd feel anxious about.
Sorry you've had a tough weekend @elusivehope I really enjoyed reading Quit Like a Woman too, it was one of my favourite quit lit books to read and I think I'll read it again at some point.

Something I did (which may or may not appeal) was to sign up to a few classes a week. Mostly Zoom ones (check out Eventbrite to see what is available in subjects that interest you) but also ones in local libraries, which tend to be a lot 'esoteric' such as one I did on Victorian Serial Killers 😂, and LEA ones on all sorts of things. Many universities have have continuing education departments (online and in person), although sadly a lot are folding thanks to The Cuts, but it's worth looking at those, too. There are online colleges such as City Lit, and individual subject specialists who set up their own courses and one-off workshops.

I found the structure helpful, particularly during lockdowns - having to be somewhere at a particular time, having to be at last presentable to do it, the preparation and assessments - all of those things stopped me from thinking about drinking. Eight years later, I am still doing them.

Good morning shipmates,

Up after a bit of a disturbed night. This Greenland business, and the FantaMan's unstable ranting, deeply disheartens me. I've also had to block my oldest friend on FB - always been down the DT rabbit hole, but now infinitely worse. They've been posting seriously nasty stuff, usually beginning "MIGA!!! Pray for strikes tonight!!!" etc. - MIGA being "Make Iran Great Again!". Bloody hell (probably literally). It saddens me, as they were a great friend growing up and very clever. But I'm not entertaining that bollox. Sorry lads, don't mean to drag this stuff in here - will get Sid to give the polluted decks an extra swabbing.

I'm so glad you're almost de-lurgyfied @ThistimeImdone that's brilliant. Sorry to all who are still mid-lurgy. My M is still hacking away - but mending, I think. So sorry about your MIL @ShyMaryEllen - I hope she's as comfortable as can be and you are alright too. 💐

Sorry you had a stumble @elusivehope - please don't punish yourself too much. It's happened to us all - certainly me. You're here and your posting and keeping going. Dust yourself down and march on, you're doing so well.

Strength and courage plucky shipmates. It's going to be alright. x

Morning all.
Welcome back @elusivehope - one day will be your last “day one” - maybe that will be last Sunday, who knows? ❤️ Have you ever done any work on working out what motivates you? I had some career coaching once, and my motivators are “measurable achievements” and “reaction from others”. It’s been no help at all with my career(!) but has been useful in other ways. So the TryDry app was perfect for me - I wanted the yellow teacups more than I wanted a drink. For some people, it’s part of being a team, for others it’s regular treats. Thinking in those terms may help? What has worked for you in achieving big challenges in the past?

Yes,yes to the dilemma of what to do with all the extra time! Interestingly, Catherine Gray (who wrote The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, which has helped many of us) has a new book out at the end of January called “Little Addictions” - all the little habits we build that aren’t desperately harmful but still take away from life

Morning all.
The DH and are off to view a cottage shortly. It's got a downstairs room and a former shower. Depending on the level of work it might suit.

I've made ghe arrangement for the national agent.

Hope all goes well @WendyWagon x

Ooh @Onewildandpreciouslife that book sounds very interesting- another one to add to my list for future reading. I have been thinking a lot about my new habits/addictions. Seems I have replaced my addiction to wine with other things, which although may not be as bad, they certainly might "take away from life". I was drinking AF drinks every single day to start with, but have cut that down to just weekends now. I am drinking more Yorkshire tea than I think is healthy. And although I've never had a sweet tooth, I now can't get enough cakes and biscuits. If only I could get addicted (in a healthy way) to exercise!

Thanks @ShyMaryEllen I’ve been browsing courses today. I also painted a wall! I think longer term I need to find things that perhaps take me out of the house a bit so a course might be good.
@Onewildandpreciouslifethat made me laugh. I also really want the little yellow teacup.
I’m with you @REP22 I also find it very destabilising. You have my sympathy.

@IChooseTo i never had a sweet tooth either.
I eat biscuits daily! 😄