The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Afternoon shipmates! A long and rainy walk today but blew out the cobwebs.
@Adsy1988 congratulations to you!
@Whatwedidnext welcome aboard.
@WendyWagon what a bloody palaver. House moves are stressful at the best of times. Agree with @PhantomOfAllKnowledge there might be sound advice on the property threads. The agents error is unforgivable. How difficult is it to accurately list property details for goodness sakes?
Another weekend of sobriety ticked off. It’s horrid out but the dog is looking enthusiastic about heading out again so I’ll get that done and then tuck myself up for the evening!

Thank you @IChooseTo and @Adsy1988 - I'm so glad that my posts about my GP/DVLA experiences were helpful. That gladdens me, if that's not an inappropriate thing to say. Yes, I had 'brought it on myself' to a large extent, but to be so penalised and screwed-over simply for doing the right thing in order to protect myself and others from potential future risks. Awful My MP had to get involved in the end, he was furious with them on my behalf. He genuinely helped to get the situation resolved. A shame he stood down at the last election; I didn't support his party but he, personally, was a cracking MP for his constituents.

But it will all, all, have been worth it if it has, in some way, helped someone else, and encouraged them to do something differently so they don't struggle in the way I did. I did not drive drunk - but found myself classed for a number of years as an HRO ("High Risk Offender"). That's what it said in all the letters they sent. REP22 - HRO. Mortifying. I think you did the right things in the circumstances.

I'm glad to be sober and here with you all. I've got so much to be thankful for.

Have a lovely evening shipmates. xx

Yee Gods. You ask for advice at your peril on this site. I've put the house questions up, now getting the flack!

Oh no! Hopefully there will be some pearls among the oysters for you there somewhere. There are some odd fish in other areas of this site. I was once called "the nastiest, most evil poster I've ever seen on MN" by someone when I expressed doubts about my vulnerable M's unwise choices to socialise in close company with other vulnerables during Covid Lockdowns. I'll take that. 😈

Hope you get something back that helps, and that there's a happy end to the issue for you @WendyWagon xx

Not inappropriate at all, @REP22 and thank you again. I'm so sorry for what you've been through. But how amazing you are to have got through all that. Odd fish indeed- but not on this thread.
@WendyWagon I am so sorry about the stresses you're going through, that sounds unbelievably tough. Shocking what the estate agents have done. I've been trying to sell my house on and off for 3 years so I feel your pain somewhat. I really hope things work out for you x

Another quick check in from me. I am still not well. Typical weekend of parenting, tidying, usual stuff. Zero booze though. I think it’s day 22 or 23.

I need to feel better so I can enjoy the feeling of not waking up after a bottle of wine. At the moment I wake up feeling shocking due to this lurgy.

Get well soon @TheMentalMentalLoad and well done for not drinking. I hope you soon wake up feeling better.

Ugh, I think there must be some people on here who spend their whole day looking for random threads where they can be unhelpful and obtuse. Hopefully you'll get some sensible advice amongst the pointless snipping!

Ahoy Shipmates!

Still here on Day 15, just having a bit of trouble with the site lately - I'll read about three posts then it all disappears and I have to restart it, or even restart Safari... proper puts me off my stroke, it does... 😏

That sucks about the estate agents, @WendyWagon - I wish I could say I was surprised, but IME you have to watch them every damn step of the way and practically do their job for them... And then for nasty posters to add insult to injury... 🤗 This site has got a lot worse for this and there are some pathologically combative or jealous people poised to spill their perverse bile... sad bastards, but if they get in early, they set a mean tone for the whole thread... Anyway, at least now you've spotted the EA issue and can take action. I hope it's a fresh start for the New Year and gets things moving again.

Cabin Boy Sid remains a thing of joy... his face at that soup... 😂 Did you say it was fennel, @REP22 ? I think fennel can be a bit aniseedy, and dogs love aniseed, don't they? Your dear old Jack Russell sounds like a lovely girl too... I grew up with them, among others, they're smashing dogs... great, honest to goodness terriers...

Been doing so well, loving the sleep, the fresh mornings, steadier energy... then got sideswiped by a grim, rainy day today, the old memory of having a drink 'to feel better...'. But I know for certain I'd feel worse that very night, wake in the small hours with The Fear, and spend the next day in woe and regret... Had AF cider instead.

Also, I let myself bunk off the first two weeks, but now my energy's coming back, I think I'm getting impatient to be up and doing, so need to guide that energy to productive things instead of flattening it with booze again... and I'm examining why that was a habit for me - the self-sabotage...

Getting sober puts us on the road to knowing ourselves better, doesn't it?

🙂

@WendyWagon i swear there are folk on this site that are determined to berate people for even the most innocuous of questions. I dip into style and beauty occasionally and here but I don’t OP anywhere else. My nerves couldn’t take it!

Bless you @Gribouille - thank you. That one was Roasted Butternut Squash - but you're right. Dogs are a devil for the fennel, hehe. All power to you - you're doing so well. ❤️

I'm sorry you feeling so poorly @TheMentalMentalLoad - I hope you're on the mend very soon. Have you got someone there IRL who can help you out for a bit. Take care of yourself - there's only one of you and you're very important and worthwhile. xx

Oh @TheMentalMentalLoad that’s really annoying. You deserve the benefits! Hopefully feel doubly good once you do shake off the lurgy.

It can take a while to shake off the grotty feelings when you give up after years of drinking, @TheMentalMentalLoad - you could have a combination of illness and withdrawal. I remember I felt grim for a good couple of weeks - feeling hot and cold, sleeping and waking at odd hours and aches and pains. I thought I had a fluey virus, and may have done, but equally it may have been a malaise caused by my body adjusting to not having wine every night.

Persevere, and take vitamins - high dose thiamine and B Complex, plus a decent Multivit - and you'll get through. It will be worth it.

Thank you for the concern - it’s not linked to stopping booze, I’m just full of cold that’s all and single parenting, working, keeping the house going, washing spinning, meals cooking etc etc.

my drinking was 2-3 bottles of wine a week but it was creeping up and I found myself justifying it to myself far too much and my inner voice was screaming at me to stop. Alcoholism runs in my family and i feel it’s a slippery slope I could have easily gone down.

I’ve never ever been able to have just one.

Morning.
Still dark out. Would quite like to have a day of just reading a book in bed but alas I have a dog and also don't want to get sacked.
@TheMentalMentalLoadI was ill over new years and I still have a lingering cough/ sore throat that comes out in the evening. Just doesn't seem to quite go does it.

Morning all.

Ive just terminated the estste agency and will go with a national agent.
No pearls from munsnet.

Morning all. Apparently it’s Blue Monday today - I refuse to have one! Beautiful day here, busy day at work and off to the gym this evening.
I’m so grateful for so much in my life right now, not least having found this wonderful group.

@WendyWagon definitely the right move. We did the same when selling my parents house last year after the first EA turned out to be incredibly laidback (lazy). Sold within 3 months of switching agents.

For anyone having a Blue Monday here’s a calming pic of my morning walk. Deep breaths and turn your face to the sun, it will be alright.

IWNDWYT 💜

That's a gorgeous picture @WhatMaggieDid and a very beautiful doglet. ❤️ How lovely to have such a beautiful place to walk. Does the soul good.

Strength and courage to you shipmates - I hope the week brings you good things. xx

@WhatMaggieDid I defy anyone to have a Blue Monday with that doggo and that view! 😍

I'm so glad I didn't drink yesterday! Had a good sleep - dreams still crazy - I'm getting a lot about my dear, recently departed kitty, but they're good, reassuring - she's letting me know she's okay and has found Brother (died 2.5 years ago). Sure it's my mind doing it, but still nice to have...

Some reflection on the flashpoint yesterday: it wasn't the alcohol as such I was craving, it was a quick, easy fix to the uncomfortable feelings I was dealing with... I knew about anxiety, but it's also boredom, or indecision, or procrastination, or self-pity... alcohol was like a skeleton key solution to all of those... for about an hour... 🙄 Learning to sit with - and deal naturally with - uncomfortable feelings really underpins sobriety for me.

So what to do? Practice, man, practice... Also some routine, a little planning, small, achievable projects... also compassionate mindfulness and meditation...

So naff off, Blue Monday! 😜 Have a great day, Shipmates!

Morning all! Enjoying feeling fresh on this grey Monday morning- previously I would have been sluggish and tired after my weekend binging

I had a really good chat this weekend with one of my best friends, who used to be a big drinking buddy and we would love our nights drinking and having deep and meaningfuls, then dancing... I felt like she was worried about the change in dynamic when I stopped (and she was) but now shes really proud of me and has seen that nothing has really changed in our time together other than the fact I don't start slurring at some point 😀 It has also made her examine her own drinking and she has massively reduced her intake which is great

Morning all. We had a stressful night, as MIL has been taken to hospital. She's very old, so it's worrying. Today we will be visiting (waiting to find out when we should go).

I am still starting the day with beetroot juice, which is good for the liver, I believe. I can recommend the one they sell in Sainsbos. A bit of apple juice is mixed in so it's more palatable than it would be without. It's tasty, and judging by the red wee it immediately produces it goes straight to work in the digestive system.

Aww @ShyMaryEllen , sorry about your MIL - hope the visit gives reassurance - it can be upsetting to see them all pale and wambly in a hospital bed... 🤗 Being sober gives us a steady base to deal with these things.

The heavy consumption of beetroot once sent my old Grampa rushing to the doctor with red pee... in those days, a doctor could say things like 'You silly arse, it's the beetroot...'. 😁

@ShyMaryEllen sorry about your MIL, hope the visit was reassuring.
@Gribouille your post made me think. I really identified with what you said especially about using alcohol as a quick fix for boredom. I’m weirdly finding all this new free time a bit tricky. I know it’s a good thing but instead of using it in useful ways to practice my hobbies for example, I’m often either doomscrolling or feeling a bit restless. Weekend afternoons especially.

Just popping in.

@eekwhatnow i’ve started walking/hiking on the weekend afternoons, a bit muddy out there but very good for the soul x I also want to start time blocking my day for chores/fun time as I work better to a schedule. I think planning helps with everything.

@WhatMaggieDid that walk/doggie look incredible:) roll on spring though, I can’t wait to see the flowers (and more bunnies!)

@ShyMaryEllen I hope things go as well as they can and your MIL settled.

@Gribouille you’ve definitely hit the nail on the head. I’ve also gone through those feelings, teens playing up used to equal - I need wine. My husband has been amazing through my sobriety journey and has commented how much better I deal with things these days. Sounds quite trite but I really do feel like a new improved version of myself..

@HorrorFan81 I've had some lovely conversations with friends too and I think a lot of them cutting down. It’s nice to be a catalyst for positive change rather than encouraging everyone to buy yet another cocktail/wine….

@WendyWagon my last move was so stressful but I like to believe that it all happens /delays etc because something better is coming. I hope you find the perfect house and it all goes to plan x

waves to everyone hope everyone ok, @Becky3825 how was your weekend?

In relation to that extra free time one gets back from not drinking, I completely relate and got some great advice from other posters. I too saw my phone use sky rocket as I just replaced mindless drinking with mindless scrolling!
See it as an opportunity- lots of people talked about taking up a new hobby but I found that too 'big' too soon. What I found helped is to make a little list of the things I'd like to do or try - wasn't about committing to anything just giving something a go. So trying something new was making kimchi, baking recipes, Sunday feasts, make dog treats (can you see these are quite food related). Then things I just wanted to do would be try a new walk with the dog or go out for longer, go to the library, rewatch West Wing! I just picked lots of little things so I could flit a bit and just see what suits.
What I've found is that I'm able to fill the afternoon just by doing a few little things that I previously couldn't be arsed to do. Like actually use my Philips Lumea, iron some clothes whilst watching a box set, message a friend I haven't spoken to in a while. These all sound pretty boring but I like 'doing'. It doesn't need to be joining an art class or signing up for a marathon (although I have done the latter) sometimes it can just be doing a few more things every week in order to feel the little wins of not drinking. I don't think I could have done the 'big' wins without having the little ones first.