On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstain (judgement-free zone). New thread - Autumn 2025.

[ForeverTipsy]

Hello, here's a shiny new thread for us all - took the liberty after gaining permission from The Original OP @nowstrong! Please tag anyone from the last thread I may have missed...hopefully you can all find us here...

@horrorfan81 @BezMills @hohofortherobbers @addictforanex @alertcat @harriethoyle @StrongLikeMamma @LillyPJ @ohthejoysoftoddler

@ForeverTipsymuch appreciated! 😉
I don't know why! Post drinking anxiety! The usual shame, guilt feelings... coming out the other side now. But god it ruins my mood for days. 🤷‍♀️

Ditto. Took me years to work out. The apps helped me to see it was also a case of using alcohol to take the edge off PMT (which for me peaks around 7-13 days before a bleed), then I'd have a double-whammy of low oestrogen and hanxiety. Then I'd get my period. Fun times, not. Not missing that at all.

That's a great post to read @ForeverTipsy

I had a can of fancy shandy last night but I'm not really counting it. It was 2% lol, bread has more alcohol in it than that (I exaggerate but yanno).

I'm back on the straight and narrow for realsies. My routine has changed and I've got nothing much planned in the weeks ahead, so it's a good time to have a big push of eating well and just generally increasing self-care as much as possible. After the year I've had, especially the last 6 months, I need it!

My weekend in Edinburgh was a bit boozy ngl, but I also walked like 20k steps easily per day, went climbing, lifted weights, did BodyCombat class at 9am on Sunday (had to walk 2 miles to get there), had a meeting to commission DM's gravestone, visited her grave and where DF's ashes were scattered.

So although I definitely enjoyed myself in the boozular sense, it was on balance a pretty good weekend involving a lot of successful missions but also massive amounts of downtime and just time to not have anything to do.

Well damp January ended up being rather wet in actuality. According to the app I gave up tracking on the 20th. Checking back in though because I had a grand total 1.75 pints yesterday and feel awful today. Might be because I’m getting over a cold and PMSing but still, didn’t feel worth it!
We’re at the pub tonight for a family celebration and I really want to stick to NA and not wake up groggy three days in a row because I’m at the football tomorrow which I absolutely do not want to face without a beer!
Having an NA beer now for ‘predrinks’ and stuck some others in the fridge for later to motivate me. I find it’s easier to keep going on those once I’ve started.

Yes agree on the start as you mean to go on principle!

I had a kind of wobbly week, but I think in hindsight it was predictable. I'm in a transitional phase after stopping crossfit and not yet established new routines.

Good luck everyone!

Back again because I messed up again.
Went to new friends house for impromptu afternoon. Offered wine and of course said yes… glass was continuously topped up and I encouraged it. I hadn’t eaten beforehand so it didn’t take long for me to be drunk. Met lots of new couples who are parents at sons school who have now seen me drunk and annoying. Was divulging information to people I shouldn’t have or whispering loudly! (Have been told this this morning!) Told I was fun but loud! Husband said I was being horrible to him… kids were also there so son saw me acting differently.
Came home and was sick in the hallway and husband had to sort it out.
Woke up not remembering anything and hating myself. I hadn’t drank since NYE really as we had been poorly and no occasion to drink and now I remember why.

I have literally done this in all my friendship circles now… everyone has seen this embarrassing side of me and I’m so upset. Have apologized to the people I needed to who have said I was funny but I’m dreading the school run tomorrow and hate myself. Why do I do this?!

@Takingbackmylife sending sympathy, no judgement here. How is your husband about it?

I am not tracking now, and I’m aware that for me it’s not the wine, it’s the other things- the little whisky after, or the beer before. I’m dry today and I think have had about 18 units over the last two nights, so I could feel better, but I did enjoy them at the time. Over the two nights, a bottle of wine (c10 units), a mini Prosecco (c2), a double whisky (2), and a beer (2.5). It doesn’t look like much if I think back to my younger days, or even a couple of years ago, but I am feeling the cumulative effect today. Is that a good thing as it shows my general trajectory is towards less?

Still swinging between a visceral awareness of it being unnecessary and harmful, and also a delight in it at wine o’clock- 6pm on a Friday. So will, if I’m being honest, likely continue as I am for now, but buy beer less often! Another weekend there won’t be Prosecco either but we had a birthday and an achievement here.

My husband dealt with it well but he’s disappointed. His mum has a drinking problem and I feel so guilty he’s got me as well! I can go ages without drinking, I don’t rely on it but when I do have one… it’s never one.. it’s always a binge and it always ends badly!

It’s really good you’re able to moderate but I’ve shown myself time and time again that I can’t!

How would it feel to say you’re now sober? I can’t take that step, and I haven’t worked out why yet.

Oh I’m saying it now for sure! I am then worrying about future plans we have for nights out, meals etc etc thinking oh they won’t be fun now! But I need to reframe it and remember I can still have fun without drink. Also I am likable without drink and tbh probably less annoying!

what do you think you’ll miss the most if you’re sober?

I’m worrying about seeing people tomorrow who I was drunk in front of. My DH says they didn’t see me that bad just drunk… he was the one who dealt with the real mess! But I’m still so anxious about it as I’m socially anxious anyway. However I know it’s my own fault :-(

@Takingbackmylife i do enjoy drinks- nothing AF is the same, a bit like vegan cheese 🤣

I just have a habit developed of sipping, or swigging, faster than ideal, so I get through it a glass and then want more. That doesn’t always happen and when it doesn’t, a bottle of wine lasts me easily the whole weekend. But I can’t always tap into that moderate side of me.

I’m sure social anxiety/introversion go me started on booze at a young age. Now I drink for the pleasure of drinking a nice Chardonnay. But I did do dry January last year and it got easier pretty quickly. So I think it’s tied to other things- my identity maybe, also partner and I enjoy trying whiskies together… but it needn’t be every weekend and that’s where I should start. FOMO needs to be stamped on!

sure the people who saw you will be fine, as you say it’s your DH who bore the brunt. I’m glad he’s supportive, I suppose you could use that as a motivating factor?

I’m still dry on week days. Rather damper on weekends… DH has to have surgery in the next few weeks and I’ll be nursemaid in the aftermath as well as our only driver so that will moderate things.

@Takingbackmylife try not to worry, I promise that the other people will not perceive your behaviour as you do and at worst probably thought you were a bit of a live wire. And if glasses were being continuously topped up, it’s likely they were also under the influence!

@Takingbackmylife

yep I feel your pain, been there done that!

as @harriethoyle says others won't have seen it as much as you fear. And yanno, people that drink know that people get a bit drunk sometimes and they've all done it too at some point.

I mean the bald truth is not that bad a narrative, if you have to explain it to someone. You hadn't been drinking for a while and the wine went straight to your head.

I hope the hangxiety and hangst isn't as bad today!

Happy weekend everyone. Hope it’s a good one whether it’s dry, damp, or indulgent!
I had a single vodka tonic when I went out with family last week, which I’m pleased with. No negative sleep impact and felt completely fine in the morning. Might have to give up beer/wine and stick to spirits from now on.
I had four pints on football day, broken up with some Guinness 0s, quite a lot really but spread out over seven hours. Definitely an improvement from the last time I went!
Last night was date night and we had a beer each and that was it. Planning on a dry Saturday and Sunday, but might have a martini tonight with dinner because we didn’t drink as much as I expected last night.

Sounds like fantastic moderating @cranewife - well done!

I planned drinking on 1st Feb after completing Dry Jan (whoop whoop), then again last Sat when out in the city for a mate's special birthday (impossible to moderate when you've paid for a bottomless brunch, right?!). Logged as much as I could remember. Drinking off plan tonight after a happy/stressful week and because tomorrow is hard for me; anniversary of my (alcoholic but very fun and much-loved and much-missed) mum dying as well as it being Valentine's Day.

Whatever you're all doing tomorrow, I hope you take a moment for some self-care and self-love ❤️❤️❤️

Hey all. @Takingbackmylifehow's things now?

Second day of anxiety here after drinks on Friday 🤦‍♀️
Battling with my brain! Yes I drank & probably had more than I should, but didn't do anything wrong or make a fool. I just get chatty & dancy!
But yet again I'm all anxious.
I'm a 40 odd year old woman who went out with friends & had fun. What's wrong with that... Nothing! But my brain disagrees!
Currently planning not to drink for the foreseeable as I can't just have one or 2. And I absolutely despise these days after!
Something needs to change for me as every few months I'm back posting the same thing on here! 🤷‍♀️

Sending love @ForeverTipsy hope it wasn’t too hard a day 💐
The hangxiety is a real reason I decided to cut down @ERN79 it just wasn’t worth it! I am finding (now nearly four months in) that I drink less when i’m uncomfortable, like a social crutch, which means less anxiety in the morning. I’m only drinking when I’m already comfortable, like with good friends, and it’s getting much easier to stop after one or two. I think I’m fortunate in that way though, I know for some stopping completely is the only one to stop the anxiety completely.

I stayed dry today and yesterday and according to the TryDry app that’s five dry Sundays in a row. Is there an app with different colours other than dry, drank as planned and drank? Because my 1 unit last Friday should not be the same colour as the 15 I had on a night out last month!
This week will be quiet I think, I have a work trip on Wednesday and will probably have a beer on the train home but we’re away for the weekend with non-boozy friends so should balance out.

@cranewifeyeah, its just not worth it for me!
Its a certain group of friends I struggle with, they are big regular drinkers. I'm not. I go weeks without a drop, but when I'm out I'm OUT 🤦‍♀️
No plans to see them for a few weeks at least though now. I won't be drinking for at least a fortnight now due to other plans.
Still not my usual self, but a lot better than I've been on previous occasions. Its a huge battle with your own mind isn't it 🤦‍♀️
Well done with your dry Sunday streak!

Hey!
So I’m day 8 and feeling good. I never drank every day and sometimes went weeks without drink but it was always occasions I did it and then binged and regretted it! We had family over yesterday and I totally abstained despite my mum and sister knocking back the Prosecco. I felt present, awake and could put my son to bed and watch tv with my husband once these gone. Usually I’d have had 3-4 glasses and be groggy, feeling headachy and want to get in bed. I’d have a shit sleep and just generally regret it so am feeling so much better!

You need to not beat yourself up! You didn’t do anything wrong! Sounds like you had fun and didn’t embarrass yourself which is what my issue is! However if you’re feeling this anxious, that’s why it isn’t worth it! You weren’t sick all over the floor for your husband to clean up like I was I assume?! That’s my main regret and also that my son would have known I wasn’t myself! My issue is how I affect others but also how I feel for days/a week after!

Hello hello! I joined this thread back in October (I think) and was doing ok in October and November. December was a bit of a write off (and I threw in the towel in the moderating TBH). January I didn't drink aside from one night and I found I didn't really miss it. I had a rare couple of nights away with my DP last week and had a few drinks, none of which I regret. However, we've been back 2 nights and I have been drinking like I used to (semi-secretly in the evening) for no benefit at all (about 6-8 units a night). WHY DO I DO IT??? 😭😩😡

Maybe i'm too far gone and I just need to stop. I did feel like I have been getting closer to where I want to be which is not drinking at home unless it's an 'occasion' which will basically eliminate most of my drinking because we have small kids and never go out. I don't go out enough for my 'going out' drinking to be a problem and I don't have an issue with getting smashed when I do drink, it's just that desire to drink of an evening, even though I genuinely am not even really enjoying it anymore. I'm such a f@cking idiot 🙁

I will not drink this evening.

@Takingbackmylifeglad you're doing well & feeling good!
We sound very similar, can go weeks but then binge & feel the same, tired & rubbish. Definitely no plans to drink for the next few weeks at least here.
You're right, I didn't do anything wrong! Wasn't sick or anything. Still got up Saturday & functioned with the kids. Its just my mind making me feel rubbish.

Really has such a knock on effect for days afterwards 🤦‍♀️

@nowinetimeformeHi 👋
Hope your dry evening is going as planned. X

Thanks @ERN79in bed and sober 🙏

@nowinetimeformewell done! Same here! One day at a time 👍

Just popping in to say hello, and welcome back to anyone who has returned. You'll always find someone going through similar here, or who has totally been in your shoes and can relate.

Can't remember who was asking about different apps showing a different colour for when you've drank but not binge drank? The DrinkAware does that; blue for tracked, green for drink-free day, orange for 6+ units (binge drinking). Just checked mine and have attached a screenshot...basically I have drank on 3 occasions this month and every time I have binged (typical behaviour for me. I accidentally drank a whole bottle of prosecco at home on Friday night!).

One day/night at a time. We've got this.