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Original poster

I'm Frightened it's too late

404 replies

Dove222 · 03/02/2025 21:20

Posting here for advice and accountability.

My drinking has increased a lot lately due to various reasons. I've been drinking around 2 bottles of wine most nights.

Attempted dry Jan and managed for 2 weeks then went back to it.

This weekend I had it in my head to start again today. I drank a lot, justifying that I was going to stop so may as well go for it 🥺

Last night I woke up with this awful burning sensation in my chest. I was violently sick and felt awful. It started to terrify me that I have caused permanent damage to my body.

I have put on 3 stone and have no longer been looking after myself. My grown children hate me drinking and don't want to be around me when I've been drinking.

Im terrified I will lose them. I'm terrified I've damaged myself. Im terrified I will look like this fat old hag forever.

Im 55, have I left this too late? Can I turn this around?

Day 1 today but I need to carry this on

OP posts:
Mosaic80 · Yesterday 10:42

So sorry you’re struggling OP. And sorry to hear about your DDad 💐. You have a lot on your plate.

i have similar with a tough relationship with my partner and him liking me drinking too and drinking to escape. It does make it hard. I’ve found it has helped to think that I’m treating myself to an evening of not drinking and feeling better the next day etc rather than thinking I’m treating myself to wine/drinking. I try and think “yay, I get to have a nice evening of not drinking and a proper sleep!” Rather than “oh no, I have to not drink tonight”.

Allen carr’s book stop drinking now (I think it’s called) also has some helpful strategies/mindsets. You can get it on audiobook if that’s an easier way to take the info in.

I like good rays cbd drinks, they contain a lot of cbd and aren’t expensive if you buy in a big pack.

I also think it’s a journey - you lost weight and have quit or massively cut down for periods of time. That’s a massive achievement and shows you can do it.

Original poster
Dove222 · Yesterday 13:56

Mosaic80 · Yesterday 10:42

So sorry you’re struggling OP. And sorry to hear about your DDad 💐. You have a lot on your plate.

i have similar with a tough relationship with my partner and him liking me drinking too and drinking to escape. It does make it hard. I’ve found it has helped to think that I’m treating myself to an evening of not drinking and feeling better the next day etc rather than thinking I’m treating myself to wine/drinking. I try and think “yay, I get to have a nice evening of not drinking and a proper sleep!” Rather than “oh no, I have to not drink tonight”.

Allen carr’s book stop drinking now (I think it’s called) also has some helpful strategies/mindsets. You can get it on audiobook if that’s an easier way to take the info in.

I like good rays cbd drinks, they contain a lot of cbd and aren’t expensive if you buy in a big pack.

I also think it’s a journey - you lost weight and have quit or massively cut down for periods of time. That’s a massive achievement and shows you can do it.

Thank you.

I think I may download the Alan Carr audiobook. That's a great suggestion.

You are so right about looking as if not drinking is your treat.
I get so much done when I haven't drunk and feel so much better.

OP posts:
bournevilleismyfavourite · Today 07:55

@Dove222 i’m so glad you’ve come back to this thread. I do wonder how you’re getting on periodically. I’m so sorry to hear about the abuse you’ve been suffering. I did wonder at the time, but you obviously didn’t want to talk about it. I think facing up to it is a huge step forward. Keep posting.

Original poster
Dove222 · Today 09:21

bournevilleismyfavourite · Today 07:55

@Dove222 i’m so glad you’ve come back to this thread. I do wonder how you’re getting on periodically. I’m so sorry to hear about the abuse you’ve been suffering. I did wonder at the time, but you obviously didn’t want to talk about it. I think facing up to it is a huge step forward. Keep posting.

Edited

Thank you and nice to hear from you.

It has taken me a very long time and lots of therapy sessions to recognise it.

Years of hoping he will change and drinking to block things out.

Went to the shops yesterday and instead of buying wine I bought a nice steak to treat myself. A couple of Trip drinks and I was really happy. He rolled in at 9pm after spending most of the day at the pub. I felt so satisfied that I hadn't drunk and as he poured himself half a pint of red wine I felt pity for him.

I mean who drinks wine out of a pint glass? I was staying with a friend once and they didn't have any wine glasses, I just couldn't drink it out of a tumbler.

Anyway, today I'm going to see my mum and spend the weekend, absolutely no alcohol will be consumed. Enjoy the sunshine everyone ❤️

OP posts:
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