@Dove222 it is not too late.
I gave up alcohol in full and in final (thus far anyway!) last year, aged 52.
I was drinking between 1.5-3'ish bottles of wine a night.
Like you, my kids had heard me say far too often that I was giving up.
These were the things that made this time different:
For some reason I had journalled the night before how much I was going to drink, and only that much - and boy howdy did I go on a bender. Seeing what I'd written, in contrast to what I'd done, was undeniable.
My kids and DH had got increasingly and overtly fucked off with my drinking. I hated the way it made me feel, and them feel, and was finding it difficult to pretend to myself that they were being unreasonable, and I was justified to continue drinking.
While I was in the throes of the drink induced shame and anxiety the next day, I went and told DH the full unvarnished truth of how I was drinking, how much I was drinking, how I'd started to hide the evidence of my drinking.
We have a family member who gave up four years ago. I rang him, told him, which meant I had outside eyes on me, and also, for my kids, did make it different from all the other times, meaning I got more support from my family, and more buy in from them. This in turn, meant it would go so much harder for them, and for me, if I reneged. I was told I would have lapses. This triggered my bloody mindedness, and I haven't had relapses. He also told me the first 100 days were a fucking bitch, and after that it got easier. It gave me hope that if I could. just. hold. on. . . (He wasn't wrong).
I tried to get help, going to my GP. Absolutely fucking goddamned useless. In a phone appointment, the best she could offer was a website I could go to if I thought it was necessary. She was patently disinterested, and couldn't give a flying fuck. (Just my experience with that one GP. You might find differently. I broke down sobbing with shame and loneliness after that call, it had been so hard to make myself reach out and acknowledge my addiction, and try to get some help).
So I white knuckled it. I haven't done AA or anything, just me, myself and I with my amazing DH, my amazing kids, and our amazing family member in the background, who I know I can always call if I'm finding it difficult.
Sober lit was really useful, and helpful, and made me feel less alone, and helped with understanding the physical and mental issues and dynamics at play. Also, this forum, and some sober forums on line. Mrs D is going without, was a huge one for me, not least because we're both Kiwis.
I have found a replacement drink, a O% wine, which is great because I don't like bubbles, and it feels nice in my wine glass. (Many would not support this, and that's okay, but it works for me.)
When you decide that you've had enough, that it's costing you too much, you will be able to do it. You might have relapses, you might not. It's a bit like a death, in that each milestone in a year, you have to find a new way of marking, to celebrate, to commiserate, to mourn, to socialise without your absolute number 1 go to and constant companion. But when you want to enough, and are committed enough, you will be able to do it.
Everyone's 'why' is different. Everyone's needs in terms of support, are unique to them, and how they cope, is different. You need to find yours, and if and when you do, you'll be able to do it, I am sure.