The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2025

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

I’ve also found that eating a good meal really helps - comfort food that I really enjoy. Will focus on making a tasty meal tonight to distract me from alcohol.

I’m also finding that non-alcoholic beers are really helping.

I was reminded just now of the moment of realisation when I knew I could no longer drink. I won’t go into what that moment was here, but it has made me feel so unbearably ashamed. Let’s just say I will never, ever forgive myself.

I'm sorry @REP22 there is definitely a gap in the market there. I think part of this is finding the tools to care for ourselves... I certainly haven't found them yet... but at least I know that and I'm looking.

@newme2025 i guess those moments become our fuel to keep going... that's the play it forward moment.

Hope everyone is having peaceful evenings x

Evening. 40 days completed. Busy day today. Have remembered that I am quite bad tempered. I used to numb the emotions but not now. Untidy teens with stuff everywhere drives me mad. How do they accumulate so much stuff and why don’t they throw things away? And breathe

evening! couldn’t agree more on the joy of normal bowel movements and not making a twat of oneself! it’s all good ladies. keep on going. saturdays with no hangovers are the gift that keeps on giving. it will be my one year soberversary in about 5 weeks. can’t believe it. this thread gave me so much early support. we can do hard things

Good morning! So much better waking up knowing I went to bed sober, and won't be suffering from the effects today. Sleep is still erratic and disturbed, but it's worth it! Thanks to all you guys for shared experiences and support.

Morning. Day 41 completed.
Woke feeling a bit sad which seems to happen most mornings- it’s as if I have been having a weird dream or agitated whilst asleep. I was sweating too but that’s potentially menopause. I guess it all could be menopause.

I used to like the numbing feeling of a hangover back in the day before I started to make a complete idiot of myself.
Basically I have been numbing emotions forever. It’s exciting to think that I might learn how to deal with these emotions in time. ODAAT

Morning beautiful sober sisters .
I will not drink today.

I'm so grateful I stated this. My future self will be so grateful I kept going.

Love and kind thoughts to all.

Good morning @mermadeincornwall, I shall join you in not drinking today. Happy sober Saturday everyone!

Good morning, it's lovely to wake up sober after a good sleep, no panic, or racing heart and trying to pretend to my children I don't feel so awfully hungover. X

What happened there?

I have a houseful this morning, and Daughter’s friends are picking her up for a night on the town later. I am so pleased I woke up sober, not smelling like a vinyard and will be on top of things all weekend. We are dog sitting today and tonight, too😎. As some of you know, I would give anything to erase the fact that my lovely children grew up with a mum who drank. Obviously I can’t; but I can make sure they never see me drunk again.

Morning all.
A terrible night but I've just got my own breakfast and that's a start.

I put a funny post up on LinkedIn and it's gone down well. I'd watched the Alan sugar interview and realised I'm turning into him! 😄

Hello shipmates,

Not sure what happened with @SmellyMe's post - I think I was mentioned in it as I got a notification email. Hope you are OK Smelly. 💐

Enjoy the dogsitting @ShyMaryEllen - Sid will be jealous 😉It's true that you can't undo the past, but you are doing so well for yourself and your family now, and your support of us all on here is incredible and so kind. You are trusted to look after the dog - with Sid I know I wouldn't leave him with someone flaky and unreliable - that's a great thing, to know that you are relied upon and trusted. Enjoy the furry cuddles.

I quite liked the Alan Sugar interview @WendyWagon - the stuff he said about Trump was right, I thought. I think you'd look better in a suit 'n' tie than he does though.
Sid and I have been out for a lovely long walk. I had to lift him into the car at the end. I suspect idleness rather than exhaustion though. Then it was even nice enough to sit in the garden for a bit to read my Private Eye. For some best-known-to-himself reason, Sid's new station of choice in the garden is the patio table. He gets up via one of the garden chairs and there's no shifting him. Bizarre.

I have realised that it's not Mother's Day tomorrow, it's next Sunday. I was confused by the shiny wall of pink 'n' flowers in Marks and Sparks, that's what did it.

Strength and courage my brave shipmates. It will be alright. x

Grandpuppy has just got off my lap, where he has been snoring for ages, preventing me from reaching the TV remote, my book or my knitting for fear of disturbing the little prima donna. He seems bored with me now, and has gone in search of Husband, who is in another room, so I have grabbed all my belongings and piled them within reach. Daughter won't be back until late, so he may be missing her.

Sid looks very handsome on his sentry post in the garden. He's probably just surveying his empire. I would post a pic of Grandpuppy, but as he's in my house it would be too outing, I fear.

I also hope all shipmates, including @SmellyMe are ok. It's disconcerting when HQ gets involved on a thread like this.

I also hope @SmellyMe is ok.

I'm happy with the take a day at a time part of all of this. But I have a hen do coming up in a few months that will be pretty booze filled, and may even be cocktail making. I'm a bridesmaid. I'm fine with dinner, but the boozier parts I will have to come up with a plan to manage it.

Anyone done cocktail making sober? I hate attention being drawn to me not drinking, its one of my biggest 'risk factors' and the reason I fell off after my longest sober stint (nearly 2 years). I wish I could just not give a toss, but I do. X

Hehe - I know what you are talking about @ShyMaryEllen - being a chair statue for fear of disturbing a kipping dog or cat. They enslave us all in the end. Two of Sid's predecessors had a penchant for knitting - the JRT once unravelled my M's knitting all over her Giant Schnauzer friend because said GS was asleep and wouldn't wake up to play with her. M and I returned from shopping to find woolly carnage everywhere and my DF sat reading the paper. That was a bleak day for humanity. DF had to buy my M some Downton Abbey earrings and hand-cream before he was fully forgiven for allowing it to go on unchecked.

Sid looks a bit grumpy in that picture. He really wasn't. I think he was contemplating a passing bumblebee.

That sounds a bit concerning @Womanshour - I could hear the beginnings of the Jaws theme as I read your post. It's wonderful that you are a bridesmaid but I know that often brings booze-collateral along with the honour. I've not done cocktail making - but I feel your pain. I went to a friends meet-up in London a few months ago and the tails of the cock became a late addition. I will say that there were some absolutely cracking AF cocktails on offer, and it seems much more acceptable these days to go for that option (how mad is it to say something like that about NOT drinking?!). Is there a friend involved in the hen do that won't be drinking? If so, perhaps you can buddy up, or ask for their support in helping you not to drink. I could also suggest filling yourself up with water or soft drinks at the dinner so you don't feel like drinking anything else. But that's probably not very helpful. I'm sorry. Hopefully other people will have some helpful hints and suggestions. I completely understand why you do give a toss. I do too. I fear the spotlight of public opinion, even if kindly meant.

Maybe the cocktails bit might prove too expensive? The ones in London started at £17 each - the AF ones too. The grasping little Fagins.

@Womanshour i would be really surprised if the mixologist didn't demonstrate AF cocktails. It's so in vogue. Take a bottle of AF spirit like seedlip. It can taste like gin or vodka depending what you mix it with.

I didn't see the post. How very odd.
I actually don't think I've ever seen a deleted one on this long running thread.

I had a food delivery and ordered a very pro me and the DD order whilst the DS is away. We commenced the boule scoffing including our cockapoo who only eats this bread, bizzare or pretentious?

Are your roses out @REP22 ?

That's a good idea @WendyWagon. I agree - I don't think I've seen a MN intervention on a post on the thread before. I think there's been the odd one that a poster has removed themselves. I do hope all is well. Your cockapoo has excellent taste. I like the bread best too. ❤️

No roses here yet, alas. That's my M's garden and her camellias. She puts frost-fleecing on them every night. You can guarantee that the one night she forgets will be the same night that the Lord smites them down with a perverse iciness. 😉

Thanks @REP22 and @WendyWagon. It does feel like the jaws soundtrack is in the background @REP22 bit too much risky stuff in this event!

Af spirit is a good idea, I also need a good 'reason' why i don't want ONE without saying that I just can't do that. I was thinking something like 'since being peri i just can't handle it any more, it makes me too anxious and I can't sleep' not of course that anyone else will care as much as I do.

hey all. @Womanshouri think i’d just go all out to challenge the person leading the cocktail class to make a delicious mocktail. it can be done and everyone else could be encouraged for taste it. drinking alcohol isn’t the only way to have a delicious drink! someone was kind enough to make me a virgin margarita at a very boozy new year party and it was excellent!

Thanks @ponzusoup that is a really good idea!

I think that’s a good reason you have suggested @Womanshour . Veronica Valli from Soberful suggests ‘no thanks, it just doesn’t agree with me’

Hi all (inc @REP22 @ShyMaryEllen @Womanshour). My post from earlier is being moderated for some reason. Thanks for thinking of me.

I posted a link to Claire Pooley’s blog.

said I was screaming inside with too much going on. Very tempted of late.

glad I have this thread to be reminded of what it was like in the beginning but also to have others to look up to further down the road. X

Thanks for letting us know you are ok, @SmellyMe.

Temptation will come, but the more you resist it the less power it has.