The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2025

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

@FaithHopeCarnage I don’t know anything about CBT, thanks that’s helpful. I am keeping an old school journal on my mood to see if there are patterns in when I weaken. I am copying that onto a page for when I need it.

Morning beautiful sober shipmates
I will not drink today
Love and kind thoughts to you all

Hi, can I join again? I’ve been on these threads twice before in the last couple of years but failed miserably. I am on day 10 today, which I’m pretty chuffed at. My life has completely fallen apart in the last six months, my relationship has failed, had to move out of my house to a horrible little flat, so been self medicating since August, drinking waaay much more than I have ever done before because there has been no one around to have to hide my drinking from.

I went to an AA meeting last Tuesday as I had decided enough was enough the week before that, but was so scared of the withdrawal effects so spent the previous week tapering down. My last drink was at 8pm on Tuesday 21 January, so will be delighted to hit 8pm tonight to officially mark the 10 days.

Its just such a destructive drug.

Morning all.
Welcome back @Adsy1988 . You sound to have had a really tough time of it, so well done on the decision to quit. 10 days is brilliant work- you’ve done the hardest part now.

All your posts are helping, I've stayed on board,so thank you all.
I went for a long walk at the beach to break the habit of having a drink after work.
Repp22,and hansom Sid,hope you're on the mend. Your post, and Carrotseeds,to Hereshegoesagain36 hit the nail on the head, I read them twice.
I shall use ABCDE next time Faithhopecarnage ,in fact I'll practice it today .
Hope you're ok Wendywagon,on going ill health is alot to contend with.

Morning everyone.

Welcome back @Adsy1988 well done for going to an AA meeting and on your 10 days!

Thanks for the CBT post @FaithHopeCarnage it is helpful in so many ways.

I had a dream about gorging on chocolate cake last night. Ate piles and piles of it. All different types. It was delicious.

Sending love and strength to all for Friday night.

IWNDWYT

Morning all
I've just bought a Dibor kitchen roll holder @FaithHopeCarnage £15 in the sale.

I am super Wendy today. I've decided I'm not on my way out (If I am I shall beat the banker first, but here's positive).
I've done all the numbers for a new beauty launch. It's looking very doable.

I'm resisting clothes buying which I've genuinely had withdrawal symptoms from!
I love my togs but I have at least 500+ pieces. Madness. 22 coats anyone?
I've bought a few bits for the house and the boys are going to order the bathroom fittings Sunday. We have a lot of bathrooms to refurbish.

No drink thoughts for me, I've been doing three year projections!

Have a peaceful Friday my friends.

Excellent post @FaithHopeCarnage . I shall definitely be using that going forward.

I went to the theatre last night and the urge to drink was quite high. I would usually polish off a bottle of white by myself and be concentrating more on the drink than the performance.

Managed to overcome it, and didn't even consider drinking during the interval.

Massive bonuses were, I remembered the entire show , no thick head/guilt etc today , and a much cheaper night out.

Meal out tonight at fancy restaurant. I have been and not drank before, so I know it is possible! They do a decent mocktail if the fizzy water proves too boring! The food is fab, so I will be happily stuffing my face.

Have a great weekend everyone x

I'm so sorry @Adsy1988 that life is really, really hard for you.
I get what you say about your new flat, I've had a similar experience, I'd light a lovely smelly candle, put up some silly fairy lights and remind myself this isn't forever but make it as pretty as I could.
I put alot of time and effort into making my life the way I want it to be, instead of being angry a situation that was forced on me.
I drank alot the numb the rage.
Now I'm moving into a new phase of my life, and I want a different approach.
Sorry to ramble,
Extra love and kind thoughts to you 💝

Day 3 for me. So far so good. I know after a week is when I start to crack (I get over confident and think I have it cracked 🙄) but one day at a time.

@Adsy1988 welcome back and well done on picking yourself up and reaching day 10. It’s depressing living someone where you hate, seconding the fairy lights, pot plants, pictures approach. If you have a pretty corner you can sit in with your coffee and have your favourite music on or a funny audiobook playing it might ease things a little.

Hello you lovely lovely ladies, and the incredibly handsome Cabin Boy, Sid. This is my first ever MN post and I would like to use it to seek permission to board your good ship Sober, please. I feel like I've been in a life boat being pulled alongside your fabulous ship, and now I'd love to hop on board with you all as a crew member! I too have been lurking, for almost a month now, and I wanted to say a massive thank you to you all for your support. I decided I needed to finally sort my self out in December but thought I'd give myself the best chance of succeeding by waiting until after Xmas and NYE, so, at 2359 on the 31st I had my last drink. I wanted to start at the very beginning of 2025 so I would have an easy date to look back on as the start of my AF journey, and I am pleased to say that at midnight tonight I will have abstained for 31 days. Yay! I really don't think I could have done it without you lot though, thank you. I had always planned to go to meetings or talk to someone, but I googled "is anyone else out there giving up alcohol for good?", and I found your thread. I have been reading the last few year's worth of posts over the last few weeks, and oh my goodness you lot have been my saviours. There have been so many posts where I have thought "that's the same for me!" and it has helped no end. I have loved reading about all the new people joining this amazing group, and the loving and supportive welcomes have been genuinely heartwarming. I've cried, and I've giggled (mostly at Rep22 and Sid's amusing anecdotes and wit- you two are a most excellent Captain and First Mate!) Thank you all for helping me realise I'm not alone, and I am really looking forward to achieving 6 weeks/100 days/6 months etc etc, alongside you all. Well done everyone- though I don't know you IRL I am very proud of you all. Wishing you all the best Friday ever, love, peace and respect to you all x

Welcome aboard @IChooseTo ! Thank you for your lovely post, and well done on your 31 days 💪🏻

It’s interesting @Arrietty58 - one of my favourite stats is that it takes about 10 days after alcohol for cortisol to get back to a normal level, and I’m convinced that part of the reason people give up after 7 days (in addition to the “I’ve done a week without alcohol, I clearly don’t have a problem” mindset) is that this is the point that people start to feel noticeably better because their stress level has dropped.

I think I’ve found my tribe Super @WendyWagon ! I was inspired by your post to go and count my coats. Ahem, moving swiftly on… When I moved out of my old house, I took 10 full bin bags of clothes to the charity shop. In my new house I have an entire bedroom full of clothes (4x 2m clothes rails plus 8 storage boxes). I wear the same old tatty stuff every day - none of the stuff hanging up. I have weaned myself off buying gorgeous evening frocks (I never go out) by buying gorgeous stuff for the house. Or chocolate trifles 😉 I am going to aim for cross-addicting to selling on Vinted. Ach, you can take the woman out of the addiction, but you can’t take the addict out of the woman!

Happy Friday to everyone on board. We are stronger together.

@IChooseTo welcome, thanks for joining the crew,and thanks for your post,
Alot of what you said resonates with me, it's high time I stopped this crazy merry go off,I want a better life.

I too have far to many clothes @FaithHopeCarnage, and @WendyWagon most of which don't fit me anymore,
I've made far too many bad decisions regarding the biscuit tin whilst under the influence of the sauce😥,another reason too get myself sorted out

Oo, I love a clothes thread. @mermadeincornwall and@FaithHopeCarnage

I have an older sister so my mum gave me her clothes. Hell on earth. At 15 I got a Saturday job and no one has bought me frocks since. I could literally stock a shop!
I like a bit of evening wear and shoes are my first love. I wear sketchers now so it moved to bags.
Everything I have ever owned is part of a collection. It definitely stems from childhood.

@IChooseTo welcome.
If you have read years of posts you will know of my ultimate shame falling flat on my arse at an industry awards event. That one wasn't funny. There were a few that were. Mind you none would suit a 59 year old!😊

Welcome everyone new 🥰. There is definitely strength in numbers.

@FaithHopeCarnage I'm another one who has too many nice things to wear yet I'm usually found in jeans or cargo pants and a sweater, doing something in the garden or walking a dog.

Just last week I bought a beautiful silk Bombshell dress on Vinted and now I'm wondering where on earth I will wear it. It was going to be for a wedding but plans have changed and we aren't going. We are going out for a fancy lunch for my birthday so maybe I'll wear it then. I've also bought a couple more designer handbags (Vinted and eBay) in the last few months. 🙈. I love beautiful things so much!!!!

Thank you for your welcome messages, much appreciated.
@WendyWagon although you may have a tale of shame, you have many more tales that are very inspirational, and I aspire to be more like you. Without the fabulous wardrobe though I'm afraid- I have no fashion sense whatsoever, unfortunately!
@mermadeincornwall I too have made many a poor decision re biscuits and other naughty "treats" and intend to rectify that too. But one thing at a time... and I was not at all prepared for the sugar cravings since going AF.
I want a better life too. We can do this!

Thanks all for the comments. I particularly liked the ABC post. i should drum that mantra in now. i keep worrying that come day 31 (currently on 26) I will view the achievement as a time for ‘reward’ for all my hard work so far and open a bottle.

Re discussions with DH and new house it predictably descended into a screaming match. However, I am viewing the properties I want to look in the next few days and he has expressed an interest in coming along. I wish it was simpler!!!!

@IChooseTo also looking at the scales with interest. It’s holding steady for now and I’d hoped to see a shift downwards, but no. I did heed advice on eating what I want - sweet or not- so I’m not in withdrawal for anything else. I was ravenous today. I have rediscovered Jacob’s cream crackers and cheddar. Where have they been all my life?? I remember eating them every Sunday at my Grandma’s house as a child. Somehow,
somewhere that gave way to Stilton and oatcakes with membrillo with a port to wash it down. Back to simple things. 😂😂😂

Evening all, and welcome to newbies, slightly used shipmates and old hands alike. Have a good weekend, everyone.

I got rid of a lot of clothes about a year ago when I got all the bedrooms decorated. For various boring health-related reasons I haven't lost weight since giving up the grog, and many of them didn't fit. Also, since giving up work (at the same time as the booze) I live in leggings and jumpers most of the time, and loose dresses in the summer, so didn't need several wardrobes of clothes. I keep meaning to do another sweep and get rid of more, but my health isn't great just now, so it's had to wait.

What I have found since stopping drinking is that I'm much more interested in making the house look good. I'm in it more than when I was working all day and out all night, and having more time awake and sober makes keeping on top of things much easier. It's the opposite of a vicious circle - when the house looks good I enjoy being in it, and when I enjoy being in it I want to decorate and buy things to make it even better. Plus, it's genuinely shocking how much a hardcore drinking habit sets us back financially. I dread to think how much I spent over the years - on wine (which is obviously not as bad for you if you drink it in expensive bars at three times the price🙄), on restaurant food that you buy as an excuse to have wine with it and then go on for 'one more' afterwards, and on taxis because you've missed the last bus home. I am definitely not better off than I was when working, but I do have more spending power as I'm not doing any of the above.

Well done to those who have racked up a few days recently. You're doing the hard bit - it does get easier as time goes by. That's good news in its way, although maybe not much comfort to you now. I agree about the 7 day thing, and I think it works after 3 days, too. By then, hangovers have gone, memories have faded and it's very easy to think 'F* it, I'll just have one or two', and we all know how that ends. Keep on keeping on.

@SmellyMe well done on day 26. I am trying to find new things to "reward" myself with instead of wine. Maybe you could buy in a humongous amount of Jacobs Cream Crackers and cheddar cheese! Good luck with the house viewings, I hope it goes well.

Welcome back @Adsy1988 and Welcome @Arrietty58, you're in good company here.

This Friday was easier than last. Both Fridays I've been Ill... what's that about?! Different bugs. Oh well I didn't drink. Still finding it bloody hard... which is both depressing and something to be proud of for making it another day. Here's to our reward, waking up hangover free on a Saturday. No hangxiety, or horrid 4am wake up. X

Well done for being here everyone! I'm 3 years 3 months AF and this group was a major support ❤️ My DH still likes a drink and that has been fine... until tonight!! I've just had him come in a wake me up (4am) to realise he has been sick all over the bathroom because he's had too much to drink. I'm annoyed not only because he woke me up in the middle of the night but because he did it when I have to spend all weekend preparing for a job interview on Monday. On occasion, I still miss the alcohol but this has been a good reminder that it isn't worth it. He's just spent a load of money poisoning himself. He is going to be in my bad books for a while 🙈 Wherever you are in your journey - keep
going. Alcohol is no good for you.

Morning beautiful shipmates on the good ship soberity
I will not drink today
Love and kind thoughts to all

Oh @Newmum738 what a nightmare. I'm so sorry that's happened. I hate sick, i can manage my children's sick but my DH would be pushing it. Good luck with the interview Monday.

Thanks for checking in and sharing that it's worth it... I always find people like you so inspiring (even with the sick!!) So thank you for sharing that it's worth it.

Day 27, and lush to wake up without the hangover. I'm going to try and extend my (short) run today which I'm looking forward to.

Strength and peace to you all x