The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2025

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

@Womanshour I was also out with my friend last night and had a few fake gins. I came home about 9 and was thinking how great it was to still be able to do interview prep. It's going to be hard not to be 'holier than thou' with DH this morning! It's was a really good reminder for me to stay strong 🙄

Morning all.
Good to see you @Newmum738 ! Sorry DH has been an arse. I sometimes think we take the benefits of being sober for granted after a while (I’m coming up to 3 years in March) but I know that if I hadn’t made that change my life would be very different now.

Morning all and ahoy to saucy Sid.

I ve just had the Yorkshire gold and it was fab. Saturday use to mean hiding from the couriers as the adult DC order so much. I'd have to answer the blinking door.
I've ordered a few things to see me through my convelecence. I needed a full length dressing gown and I snook in a white t shirt. I actually forgot I'm not supposed to be buying.
The DD and I are watching a film this afternoon. I have the Hagen Daz cups.

Good to see you @Newmum738. I hate interviews. I see them as a battle ground. My BFF gets every job she interviews for. She plays charm offensive.
Clear heads make much better decisions.

I did day one in a new job with a stinking hangover. I got so nervous I went on the grog. When I got there I was greeted by the founders best friend and management consultant. I must have smelt awful. Luckily I could hide the grey face under the slap but it was a challenge. I now know that big bold Wendy is just as scared as anyone else. If you hide your fear under booze it doesn't allow you to overcome it.
Be proud of everyday you wake up sober. It's a gift to you and it gets easier. X

I hope your husband didn’t expect you to clean up his vomit for him newmum.

Anyway just recording that 1st Feb means it’s one calendar month for me.

It hasn’t been too bad as I’ve only been out twice and the second time I was driving.

Last night I had a ‘DP getting right on my nerves’ moment which coincided with needing to go to the corner shop to buy something to eat. I repeated “never the question the decision” a few times on the way there in preparation. I found myself looking at the drink shelves on the way to the counter but told myself: don’t be stupid there’s loads of AF cider in the house. Anyway, I was fine once I’d eaten - I was just hungry, and DP was being noisy and annoying, and that was acting as a trigger. So I stayed in the kitchen and listened to some music.

@ThatWasShh well done. Be very proud of yourself.

Morning all! A big day for me, because it's the first time I'm carrying on Dry January into Dry Life.

DP came to bed at 1am after an evening out and I'm tired and annoyed, so I'm worried my defences are a bit low.

But, the birds are singing and a few cups of tea will surely help.

Day 3 I think,maybe 4? Had to take meds for arthritis last night and it makes me rather hazy and groggy but nowhere near as bad as a hangover 😁 I’ve started to dawdle power through some decorating this week and feel rather accomplished!

Morning everyone, day 4 for me. Feeling good. Sleep is very intermittent and I am still getting hot sweats (post menopause), was hoping no alcohol would get rid of them but it’s early days. I will just keep changing my nightie and sheets. No racing heart or guilt first thing is wonderful.

@ThatWasShh he didn't expect me to clean up the vomit and said he would do it in the morning. With a 6 y/o in the house, I didn't have much choice but to clean it up. I managed to get my friend to take DS to football so DH is in peace to sleep it off (I kid of wish he wasn't). His drinking buddy had to go and coach the U7's this morning at 9 🙈 I hope this story is making you all proud of your decision to quit. Life is MUCH better without alcohol. It is literally poison. You've got this 🙌🏻

Partners drinking makes things tougher.

I know it's my own responsibility to look after my own health and wellbeing - but it's not easy when they have open bottles around the place, and also when they offer, to make themselves feel better about drinking every day.

But one task at a time...

First calendar month, I feel great, never thought I'd manage it.
I've also got my first night out but I'm driving, besides my problem is drinking at home alone and miserable, I'm fine on nights out, not that Id want to risk it now anyway, even though I'm taking the car.
@Newmum738 that sounds grim, sending hugs.
Hope you all have good day, we've got this.

Greetings shipmates Cabin boy Sid and I hope that you are doing OK in the choppy waters of the weekend.

Glad the Yorkshire Gold is going down smooth @WendyWagon , hope you're doing OK.

Sorry you had to clear up puke @Newmum738 that's grim. Do you have a dog or cat? Perhaps a little sampling of their dinner in your DH's slice next time you have a meat pie for supper? He need never know... 😉

Strength and love to you all. xx

@taylorean Congratulations to you on your big day today- it's the same for me- the first time Dry January is going on to Dry Life instead of back on the wine. I've done Dry January for a few years but was always counting down the days until I could drink again. This time I found it helpful to count up instead of counting down. I am very lucky though that my DP is doing it with me- I don't take that for granted- it must be even harder if people in your home are drinking.

I found day 1 SO hard. DP had to pop out for a few hours and I found myself just checking through the cupboards to make sure I'd got rid of ALL the alcohol. I found a bottle of sauvignon blanc hiding at the back that I'd not realised was there. My favourite poison. I battled with myself, had to talk myself out of starting the next day instead, and I couldn't bear to pour it down the sink. So I took it back to the shop! Easy to find a receipt with wine on it... Seems I'm not ready to even have it in the house yet, the temptation is too great.

@ThatWasShh just realised it's the same big day for you too! Congrats to you too, and for overcoming the annoying DP triggers, and for ignoring the lure of the drinks shelves. I have had similar- wondering whether I will find DP permanently annoying when I'm sober, or be more tolerant instead. It's still a work in progress... And not giving in to the urges is also hard, but, we've got this!
Strength and love and respect to you all x

Sorry @REP22 didn't mean to mimic your words of encouragement at the end there. I think your inspiring words have just ingrained themselves in my head. Thank you for all the words of wisdom, and help, and support, and wit. And for Sid! X

@IChooseTo - absolutely no need to apologise at all.❤️ The words are just as helpful coming from you. It's great to have you on board, you're doing so well, a real inspiration.🏋️‍♀️

It's great that your DP is along with you, that can make a real difference. Hopefully you won't find your annoyance levels rising. I actually found that my tolerance of petty niggles improved with sobriety. When things annoyed me before, I was already headachey and frazzled with drink-fog. Sober and clear-headed it was easier to compartmentalise and put things aside. I expect I annoy Sid a lot of the time - but he keeps it to himself. I know how the tin opener works, you see. 😉

So much encouragement from all the great posters here, it's brilliant. An absolute honour to be allowed to share your thread, lovely shipmates. x

Thank you @REP22 I suspect my dog puts up with me because of my opposable thumbs too! He's been very patient with me but I think he prefers the new sober mummy, and quite right too. It's ever so nice to be more present for him too, he deserves more 🐾 💘

Morning all.
A very early Wendy. One tea down.

Carpet cleaning and Sunday dinner making but other than that I'm just stalking fleebay.

Morning my wonderful shipmates
I will not drink today
Love and kind thoughts to all

Your up early @WendyWagon, hopefully you're feeling better, I know I'm always on the mend when I start cleaning.
No prepping or cooking for me today, off out to Sunday lunch,
I start my weight loss journey with gusto tomorrow (that's with enthusiasm, not the company).
I admire the way you keep going despite all that keeps being thrown at you.

Morning all. Thank you for all the kind words on Friday. I took heed of @mermadeincornwall and @Arrietty58’s advice around a nice candle and soft space in my little flat, and have been lighting lovely candles and wax melts all weekend.

There has been so much going on in my life lately, I won’t bore you all with the details, but I have been repeating a sort of mantra to myself whenever something goes wrong that I have zero control over; I can change and alter things that I have control over, I cannot do the same for things that other people’s actions cause distress to me, therefore I am just disengaging. Why bother getting stressed and anxious over other people’s actions?

Anyway, enough psychology for an early Sunday morning. I am now onto Day 12 today, no wobbles thus far. I have a lovely bit of beef for Sunday dinner and a bottle of Nosecco in the fridge to enjoy whilst making/eating today.

I hope you all have a wonderful Sunday.

Ahoy! 8months AF today 🎉🎉🎉

Thank you for the very wise words @Adsy1988 . It is something I have always struggled with, focusing on the things I can change. I guess that is one of the reasons they say the Serenity Prayer at AA.

Long run planned today, which I am going to do on the treadmill as it is lighter impact than road running and I had a little lesion removed from my thigh earlier this week, and don't want to split the stitches. They held up ok yesterday for 4 miles, so here's hoping they last for 10 today!

Morning all, yesterday I told a couple of other people that I’m not drinking anymore and had my first experience of being argued back at. It was fine, in that it’s not going to shake my resolve. Strengthen it, if anything! But it was kind of annoying. Anyway, it was useful to have a practice run at dealing with opposition in a safe way (the conversation wasn’t in a pub or bar) ready for when I have to do it for real.

Well done @EastCoastDamsel 8 months is amazing!

Day 28 here. Feeling very grumpy and irritated as have a horrid cold that arrived last night.

But had a good day yesterday, went on my first 5 mile run for a couple of years, can't run and enjoy it with the booze so was grateful for it. Beautiful blue sky today... a hint of spring.

Sending hope and peace to you all x

Morning, day 5 for me and I am very happy. Sleep still intermittent but no heavy perspiring last night for first times in months (post menopausal not on hrt). Driving this evening and I never drank when driving anyway. I had some AF sparkling from Tesco last night, it was a step up from the AF white wines, very cheap and low cal, chuffed.