The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Winter 2024

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Fire up the hot chocolate and make yourself at home.

Thank you for the new thread!

Link to previous thread here: Page 40 | The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Autumn 2024 | Mumsnet, wherein can be found links to other previous threads (or you can use the search bar to locate others), much wisdom, kindness, canine imagery (with apologies) and some lovely poems from our in-house laureate @ShyMaryEllen.

Tagging @wendywagon, @crunchymum, @Onewildandpreciouslife, @itsrainingten, @ponzusoup, @CarrotSeeds , @EastCoastDamsel, @TiA303091, @Becky37, @GreyhoundLurcher, @ThereIsAlwaysWine, @Anna73moose, @SylviaB, @Pip2000b, @threeandmeandthedog , @RunningtheHill, @OfDragonsDeep, @Shanster, @NextPhaseOfLife, @Faffodils, @Maffit - hearty wags from Sid. Sincere and heartfelt apologies if I have missed anyone's name. x

Love him. What a handsome doggo he is

I don't post as much these days but checking in for the new thread.

Lovely to see yourself and Sid hosting again @REP22 ❤

What a marvellous doggo!

hi, I’m new about here.
I’m week 6 or 7 of alcohol free. I’ve been drinking a lot for many many years. Maybe 70 or 80 units a week at a rough guess.
Daily obvs, with no ill effects.

I fell off the wagon last week after a stressful few weeks, drank a fraction of what I can usually pour, felt sick and woke up with a massive dehydration headache.

What's that about?

anyway, am finding it increasingly challenging to not be drinking, so thought I’d sit with you guys for a while if I may.

Thanks for the new thread @REP22. Lovely Sid. He is our laureate of course - I am merely a conduit. He does look smart in his gansey. I'd love to see him modelling his Xmas jumper, with or without antlers.

FAO newbies - we are planning an alcohol-free toast to threadmates on Christmas Day, and all are welcome, whether you celebrate Christmas or not. We'll decide a suitable time and form of words nearer the day. It can be silent, of course - many families and friends would be disconcerted by people raising their glasses to a bunch of Internet weirdos in an ostentatious manner, but it might be encouraging for us all to remember that we are together in spirit, even if it's a non-alcoholic version.

Hello, @Doggojumpsdoggo, and welcome.

I guess it's your body telling you it recognises booze for the poison it is. We get used to it over time, which is not to say it's not still damaging. After six weeks off, we are starting to revert to normal, and your body is probably screaming for you to stop.

Ahoy.
Just place marking as I'm back in my sick bed watching countdown.
Welcome@Doggojumpsdoggo

Thank you for the Sid-love, he is most flattered. We will try not to disappoint with his Chrimble jumper!

Welcome @Doggojumpsdoggo - I am glad you have found us. Congratulations on getting to week 7, that's a massive achievement. I'm sorry you've had a wobble; please don't beat yourself up. It happens to the best of us. You just need to pick yourself up, be kind to yourself and keep going. I echo the wise words of @ShyMaryEllen - it's your body reacting. I used to drink industrial quantities of the stuff, with a very high apparent 'tolerance'. If I wobbled, it didn't take much to make me very seriously unwell. At the last wobble I had, it wasn't what a regular drinker would consider a massive amount, but it made me sick and there was blood in it (sorry for TMI); something I hadn't experienced since the grimmest days of my lowest points, around 2016.

The liver is a very resilient organ and can recover well. Until the day it suddenly doesn't. Everything's fine - until it isn't. There's a thread on the MN Alcohol Support board called "The Reality of the End", which I re-read every time I'm tempted. It's not a pleasant read, but I'm glad it's there. Our tolerance as our bodies mend themselves is still there, but decreases with time and further drinking, and our systems become less forgiving than they were.

You're doing the best you can. It will be alright, even if it doesn't seem like it at the moment. Keep going @Doggojumpsdoggo . ❤x

Oh no! I'm sorry you're back in bed @WendyWagon . Hope you will be on the mend very soon. Lots of love to you. 💐x

Ahoy! Checking in to the new vessel. My cabin looks lovely, thanks @REP22 .

Thank you for serving as our Captain again over the festive season.

Welcome @Doggojumpsdoggo .
And all the old crew.

Hallo crazy, yet sober, crew. I popped by at the right time, a new thread how shiney.

Still keeping up with sobriety now have the 3 years in my sights (Feb...25!).

Well done Rep for hosting another thread, and Sid of course

Thank you @REP22 for starting anew thread. A good rmeonder to check in. I was away last weekend with friends, and the wine witch was whispering in my ear to just have a glass... I very nearly caved... but I didn't. I waslucky to have a good pal there who must have sensed by struggle and reminded me not to bother with the booze in a very gentle andkind way. Thank goodness for lovely friends.

Thank you @REP22 and Sid for the new winter thread. Welcome new people. 😊

@ShyMaryEllen I'm definitely up for the Christmas toast! Not sure if mine will be sparking water or an AF gin and tonic, but I will be raising a glass for sure! 🎄

Hello all- thanks for the new thread and hosting @REP22 and Sid

Splendid! Toast with anything you like, so long as it's free of booze 😀

Thanks for all the fashion advice - short sleeves it is. I'll finish them much faster that way, too.

Well dear friends I don't want to freak anyone out but apparently I've been suffering from a rare side effect of the weightloss jabs.
I've now got to be referred to the hospital.
Naturally I'm not taking any further doses.

Blinking scary.

Oh god @WendyWagon I'm so sorry. Hope you're ok

Thanks @Itsrainingten
Bloody vanity.
I've had under rib pain. Like I had a good kicking. It's made me cry out. It's a serious side effect and can cause pancreatic damage.

Don't feel bad. It's NOT just vanity. Weight loss has health benefits. It isn't your fault.

Oh no!

I hope you have a full and speedy recovery, @WendyWagon. We'll all be rooting for you. x

Gosh, I'm sorry to hear that Wendy 😢. Hope you feel much better soon and have stopped the jabs early enough to prevent any lasting damage. X

@REP22

Thank you for the new thread and thank you for the outragiously adorable (adora-pup) picture of Sid 🥰.

Still sober and starting to enjoy it. On the old 'pink cloud' no doubt but found a brilliant local AA that I am sticking with now monday nights.

On moderation... i can not moderate and will never be able too. I know this now. I may slip in my sobriety, i'm sure I will! But I will never try and attempt moderation again. The noise of it alone is too insidious and stressful and all comsuming for me. Let alone the fact that I will end up face planting AGAIN, or getting in a fight...or just staggering around like an insane person and talking bollocks. Amougst many other unsavory things I WILL do when I drink again, if I drink again.
Whatever happens i can not moderate as I have a drink problem. It will never leave me now.

I too did not drink in the morning and had lots of dry spells and moderated. But it always ended the same. Me crying in bed alone feeling suicidal and hopless because I had that one bender where I drank too much AGAIN and ruined myself.

We all need to reach that point in our own time though, all our journeys and tipping points are different. As is all our drinking habbits and triggers too. But we all have a drink problem, even if we are not all 'alcoholics' that is the one fact here.

WendyWagon

Oh my god, are you okay?! I've heard of people having this and being really poorly in A&E, it is rare but the side effects if you have a reaction are really dangerous!

@Becky37 ive spoken to the three nurses in the family and it's pointing to gallbladder.
I've never had any issues but I was put on Wegovy as its milder than mounjaro. Thank God I didn't take that.
I'm tucked up in bed and full of gas (charming I know).
It's a weird one but I've never been able to take any mind altering meds (I'm taking the booze out of this!). I got prescribed after bereavement and last year to help with the pins and needles of the fibro. They always effect me badly. I'm sick and can't sleep.
I'm gutted but also feel a bit stupid.