The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Winter 2024

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Fire up the hot chocolate and make yourself at home.

I know what you meant. 🙂❤️ Autocorrect claims us all in the end. (One Christmas I got my DS a little stocking-filler book called "Damn You Autocorrect!" We still laugh at it sometimes, even now). x

'steak' anyone? With peas and chips!

Evening all. @REP22 you describe that grief and mourning of a bad relationship so well! And that tis exactly how it was for me in the early weeks too. I still sometimes think of "the good times" before it got all messy with some nostalgia but similarly to the way I think about an ex boyfriend ed before that got messy.

Sorry to hear about your stressful week and near wobble this evening @CarrotSeeds . We have all been there and will probably be there again.
As always, I have come to bed early as Friday nights (and strangely Sunday afternoons) are still the hardest days for me.

Not every week, but definitely some weeks.

I think it is because after a long and hard week like the one I have just had, I really just want and "off switch" and a few wines achieved that brilliantly.

Have to be up early tomorrow as travelling across the country to a trend and even with DS. Should be fun if the trains don't get delayed/cancelled thanks to storm Bert.

Quite a lot of travel 6hrs there and then 6 hours back on Sunday but it should be worth it.

How are you doing @Becky37 @TiA303091 @Doggojumpsdoggo and @Anna73moose ?

@WendyWagon 😄😄 you can have my steak if I can have half of your peas and your grilled mushroom. And a hash brown would never be turned away 😉
Hope you have a better night sweetie. xx

Good night all, with love from me and a loudly-snoring (mercifully only from the nose end) Sid.

Strength and love. x

Thank you for your kind words @EastCoastDamsel, you bring so much that is good and helpful here. You're right, I think nostalgia has a lot to answer for. I too occasionally yearn for an ex boyfriend who was atrocious to me. Hard act to follow, despite all the wretched chaos left behind. We're better now, despite - and not because of - the lessons we have learned from their influence on our lives.

Hope you have safe travels and a wonderful time with your DS. He's lucky to have you in his corner. x

Good morning everyone,

We have snow! Our foster pup is very interested (her first snow I think) and too excited to eat breakfast. Snowflakes are much more interesting ❄️🤣

Today is going to be a good day, I can feel it!! Shame it's too early to put the Christmas tree up! I refuse to do that before the first weekend in December.

Ah lucky you @CarrotSeeds it's pouring with rain here. Our Christmas tree is going up next Sunday.
I have a busy weekend ahead as it's my birthday. Yay! Padelball (which apparently is a cross between squash and tennis) this morning with DH while the kids are in football then out for dinner with girlfriends this evening. I've checked the restaurant does mocktails so hopefully I won't feel left out. Then an escape room with DH and kids tomorrow followed by Sunday lunch.
Most of which (other than the 2 meals) would have been an absolute NO last year because I'd have either been hungover or more interested in drinking.
Have a great weekend everyone.

Morning all.
Happy birthday @Itsrainingten ! Sounds like you have a lovely weekend planned- enjoy 🥳

Happy Birthday @Itsrainingten . HAGD as I see the kids saying on snap. 😁

Morning all.
Happy birthday @Itsrainingten . What a lovely weekend you have planned. Another saggi, high five.

By eleven yesterday I was back to my sick bed. However I played Rightmove and have found a cottage with downstairs bedrooms that would suit my mobility issues. I do like to move every two years! The DH will be reluctant due to the heating bills. We have a super insulated abode here. If I have the strength I will need to bring in the crumbles. I can usually persuade him.

@Itsrainingten Hope you have a lovely birthday 🎂 🌷

Gosh @WendyWagon Moving every two years? That makes me feel quite ill 😳🤣. We moved to our current house almost three years ago and I swear we will never move again! I've moved lots in my life and this is most definitely our forever home (even though it's old and cold and rather large!). Despite moving house (and countries) lots of times, I still hate it! Happy hunting!

Proper snow ❄️⛄️🔥

I have only lived in four houses in my entire life 😀

Happy birthday @Itsrainingten! I hope you recover very soon, @WendyWagon.

I have no plans for the weekend, which suits me fine. I will possibly do some light decluttering, and maybe a spot of tidying, but nothing too taxing. Weekends should be about rest and indulgence, IMO.

Morning all. Up early listening to the wind (the weather type).

Bloody weird last night, I was dusting bottles of booze and moving them into the larder. Not a flicker. Normally I'd have to put myself to bed.
I have a huge test next weekend at the posh wedding. My cousin is a champagne girl. I'm going to take Gordon's cans in my handbag. Crossing my fingers that the moth hasn't eaten my outfit.
Still a bit poorly but I need to get out even for a bit.

A peaceful Sunday to you all.

Morning all.

Heading home today. Yesterday was stressful with train travel and multiple changes and lots of disruption but DS said the event was the best thing he has been to all year. So very pleased with that.

Wind is howling here too so keeping everything crossed for minimal disruption on our return journey.

Joining after a work stress related wobble after months of AF. Have a social event this weekend so am driving which makes it easy as it’s hard to get to and no one will question why I’m not drinking. My big aim is to have sober Xmas day. I haven’t had Xmas for a while that didn’t end in me feeling like death the next day. Keen to set a good example to my teenager and we have agreed to have a very low key evening watching movies so I feel like I have something to work to and not disappoint them. Did manage sober new year though which was great. I felt so chuffed the next day and pleased with myself!
i also know that I feel more stressed if I drink so going to take some inspiration from the vets and newbies here.

Welcome @Carpetburn .

@Carpetburn

Welcome to you, this is an amazing place really and the support, understanding, compassion and just the sisterhood here is so brilliant. It has restored some of my faith in hunanity if I am honest.

Sorry I havnt posted or responded to anyone, just snowed under and get kind of phone fear sometimes so hide it for hours when I'm off from work at the hospital.

I am still sober and coming up to three weeks now. AA tomorrow at half 7 which I am grateful for. I nearly caved saturday night but rang a friend who supported me and got an early night. Felt like an idiot for even thinking about it this morning of course. Saturdays are definately a tricksy one for me.

Must make plan for next saturday so less able to be tempted.

@Itsrainingten

Happy belated birthday ! 🥳 💜

Morning all.
Great to hear from you @Becky37 - 3 weeks is brilliant, and I’m so glad you reached out to your friend on Saturday. Realising the danger points in advance is a great advantage

Work is going into a manic phase at the moment, but at least I am fully sharp for it.

Good morning everyone and welcome to @Carpetburn 😊. This is such a lovely thread, totally without judgment and with lots of understanding and love.

@Anna73moose How are you today?

@Becky37 I was thinking of you this morning and wondering how you are getting on. That's fantastic news! Well done for staying strong on Saturday night and phoning a friend. You have done such a brave thing joining AA. I nearly caved on Friday and on Saturday morning it all seemed ridiculous and I couldn't understand why I had wanted a drink so badly!

Seven weeks and one day for me. This is the longest I have gone without an alcoholic drink for over two decades. Last week I had to go for a blood test, for cholesterol actually but the GP decided to run a full blood test which also looked at thyroid, sugar and liver function. I don't know how long it takes for fatty liver to begin to repair, I don't even know if I have/had it, but was very glad of those 6 weeks of no booze 😳

Sorry @WendyWagon I also meant to ask how you are feeling today? Much better I hope.

Morning all.
Up a bit later as the DH has to change his working days ready for Christmas.
I was a bit windy pop in the night but I had eaten fairy cabbages, I love them.
God knows what these meds have done to my stomach.

Well done @Becky37 and @CarrotSeeds . It is the trickiest time of the year. However you'll be ahead of the curve.
Welcome @Carpetburn

I enjoyed the telly last night and I have a slower week planned. We haven't found the Christmas decs yet. None went up last year. I might have to buy a few new.

Morning all. Hope everyone had a good weekend. I had my first alcohol free birthday since I was about 13 or 14. God that's a crazy thought. It was lovely though.
Very sadly saw a man die at a central London station on our way home yesterday. Awful.
I think he was just randomly taken ill but there were paramedics working on him for most of the time we were on the platform. They'd had to remove most of his clothes to do chest compressions. Obviously they were keeping people away but you couldn't help seeing some of it even though people were trying not to look to give the poor man some dignity.
Then as the train pulled out they were putting sheets over him and the police officers were all looking really upset. It was awful. And a big reminder that what we're all doing here is our best to stay healthy.
There but for the grace of god and all that.
Anyway have a peaceful week everyone.