Day 1 or 100 tulips and snowdrops say #browniesnotbeer

[CoffeeLover90]

Didn't think I'd be worthy, being so new to these threads, but an amazingly brave woman managed to drive past a shop today and not give into cravings. And I was one of the people that were thanked. I'm humbled.
I may not post on here daily, life, child and pets demand attention but I hope people find what I have from this- encouragement, reassurance and no judgement.

It's been almost a year since I began drinking 3 to 7 days per week. In that time I've many failed attempts to stop or moderate.
I'm now on my longest dry spell since my first attempt. Day 21, with @AFmammaG beside me.
I have no plans for September. I'm in an hour by hour, day by day situation.
I will do Sober for October. Definitely. No doubt.

#browniesnotbeer came to mind when another poster mentioned they'd 'rage ate' a brownie rather than pour a drink. I've turned to food but balancing that with exercise and telling myself it will be easier to cut out chocolate. Although I could be lying to myself there...

www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5066932-day-1-or-1000-all-welcome-on-the-tulips-and-snowdrops-thread?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Day 4, feeling brighter.
Spent £15 on fresh veggies and nuts to help healthy eating, and some nice Trip drinks, to invest in my health rather than drinking a bottle of wine!
I slept well last night.

I really want to do this but I know how weak my resolve can be come the weekends.
I need a distraction!

Good idea to invest in some healthy snacks and drinks @Cantdoitalll . Sounds like you’re doing well. I find it helps me to have arranged coffee or walks with friends at the weekend so by the time it arrives I have some distractions already in my diary. Not sure if that would help?

Ive had a bit of a grumpy few days and got cross with my DD over fairly minor things. I think it is just me feeling a bit meh and I need to take my own advice and arrange some nice things to look forward to! But pleased I am still dry (day 48 today) and avoided my usual go to bottle of wine.

Still not totally sure how long I am aiming to stay dry so just taking it one day at a time at the moment.

Hope others doing ok.

@Cantdoitalll those first few days are the hardest so it just gets easier from here!

@Limeandsoda2023 definitely pack the diary full of fun things to do, I have and it helps. I have to confess I’ve largely avoided big nights out this year. I’ve had a couple of meals but that’s it. Just didn’t want to test my resolve. It’s paid off because it’s day 50 for me today. I celebrated earlier with a pint of coke (I don’t normally have fizzy drinks). I’m away for half term and I can honestly say I’m not missing the booze at all.

I’m enjoying my black tea and dark chocolate in front of the fire.
Day 5 done. DP is joining me too which will make this easier for sure!
Hope you’re all doing ok too.

@Cantdoitalll my DH did dry Jan with me and it did help so I hope that helps you too. I’ve been drinking those sleep teas in the evening and they have made a positive difference for me.

If you want a bit more chat/support, the dry Jan thread is still going and it was lovely to have all hit our 50 days around the same time. @Limeandsoda2023 is on it too, is it 50 days for you today?

I can link it if you like. Avoid the Damp Feb one though because it’s like us lot trying to moderate and failing 🤣

I have another dry holiday under my belt. It’s windy and rainy and freezing here. Going to walk down to the beach in a bit and just soak it up before we have to head back to school and work next week.

Yes please @AFmammaG
Hope you’ve had a good break. Well done on 50 days. How wonderful!
Day 6, I always want/have wine on a Thursday as I don’t work on a Friday. Not tonight!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5253719-dry-january-and-beyond-thread-2?page=1

Here it is @Cantdoitalll, please do come and join, it’s a great bunch! Well done for resisting tonight. Every dry day counts and all that!

I walked down to the sea despite the weather and it was a mixture of brown and white and yellow water. It felt angry and noisy and dangerous and I loved it 😆 Wish I lived closer to the water. For now, half term holidays will have to do.

I think I’m going through the pink cloud phase. Just finding happiness in everything I enjoy and choosing not to do things that bring me down.

I also did an activity with my DS today on holiday that he couldn’t manage this time a couple of years ago. Last time we tried he got frustrated and gave up and I felt a failure and hopeless. Today he did it and I felt super proud, like maybe he is turning a bit of a corner…. I’ll remember that moment forever ❤️

So glad your holiday has gone so well @AFmammaG - and pleased you are pink clouding!

I don’t think Im in that phase yet (still hoping it will come) but I very proud that today is my 50 days dry! Went to watch Bridget Jones movie with friends this eve and had an AF Tanqueray and tonic in the pub.

Still unsure of my long term plans but happy to stay AF for the moment.

Do join the dry Jan feb @Cantdoitalll - I’m not the most regular poster but I read every day!

Congratulations @Limeandsoda2023 on 50 days!!! Super well done 👏

I won’t be drinking tonight. DS is on a sleepover and sometimes I get that call at 11pm to collect him. I actually don’t want to drink, I’m feeling so good. I have had some good news this week about job opportunities and DP are getting on better than ever due to talking through some issues which I normally suppress with alcohol.

Could this be the turning point?!

Well done people! It is great to hear how you are doing! I am well over 500 days now - keep forgetting to tick them off.

One week done!
i won’t have any tonight as I’ve offered to collect kids from party - I’m glad to have these excuses for the first few days to keep me on track.
I was up at 8am for workout. That would never have happened if I’d been drinking…

Lovely to see some familiar names doing really well and some new names too - no matter where you are in your journey, well done xx

Thought I'd drop by to stay that I am 500 days sober today. I decided to open the app and tot up my streak because it's a cold wet day and I had a few mins to myself, and was amazed to have got to that far.

Honestly, the fact that I have stopped regularly counting because alcohol isn't part of my life anymore is huge for me - if I can do it anyone can xx

Congratulations @MissSmith80 - 500 days is an incredible achievement. Massive well done to you

12 days AF. I’ve found it surprising easy this time round. Perhaps because DP is participating and because I’m exercising - my new obsession! I’ve got a night out on Friday which I can’t miss (work related and paid for) but I’ve already said I won’t be drinking.
Hope everyone else is doing ok!

misssmith80 congratulations!you say,’if I can do it anybody can ‘ I really hope you are right.
im even paying a counselor to help and even with her I’ve been managing 3 days off then blowing it till the next counseling session.
today is yet another day 2. I just want never to have to think about the stuff again, like fags- but it’s EVERYWHERE.

Congrats candoitall I’m wondering if I stay sober enough I could look up a gym. Ironically I’m saying ‘£7? That’s so much’ for an excersise class, yet of course splosh is a LOT more.
I discovered the heath benefits of.. not keeping on with housework etc until I am resentful and tired and bored and therefore drink to cheer myself up, but going into the garden and weeding for 10-30 mins. It’s satisfying to see a little patch get tidied, and somehow it is more beneficial than scrolling/ reading online which is supposed to be relaxing. Maybe that is helpful for someone?
day 2 again.
well done everyone

Congratulations @MissSmith80! 500 days is amazing!

How is it going @Iamaf? Could you find a pay as you go gym to try or one of those one month’s memberships? I know what you mean about it seeming expensive but it really is an investment in yourself and you deserve it!

Are you still alcohol free @Cantdoitalll?

I am out tonight. It’s 60 days for me so hoping they do a good af menu. I think the plan is to go dancing after dinner but I will swerve that. Don’t want to test myself and 60 days was my longest run in 2024 so feeling pretty positive about exceeding that tomorrow. To be honest, I’ve really cut back on my socialising this year but content with the decision. I much prefer a coffee and cake catch up these days!

How are you @Limeandsoda2023? Any pink clouds on the horizon?

After my holiday I felt pretty meh. I’ve come to accept that life without alcohol is a steady 5 for me with not many highs or lows. Before I would get trashed and feel “great” for a while and then realise I had to stop and feel shit for a while. Now it’s just lots of days feeling 5/10. To be honest, I miss those highs a lot but know that this is the right path for me and hopefully my baseline will start to creep up as I get used to this new normal.

Looking to @BoilingHotand50something and @MissSmith80 to see whether this is something they can relate to? Does the 5/10 feeling pass or did you not go through that?

@SadMama87 it’s been a while since you last posted. Hope all is ok.

@AFmammaG - am not going to lie. The ‘meh’ feeling has not completely disappeared. I am very rarely silly any more and I think DH would say I am not much fun any more. I have found other ways to lift myself out of the meh a bit - new hobbies and more community stuff - but I am not quite there yet. I think partly due to the bloody menopause and partly due to not getting my weight / exercise sorted. But things are definitely flatter - as in more stable, but also a bit more boring - than they used to be. It has taken some getting used to but I still don’t miss drinking.

Hi @AFmammaG , I’m doing ok, thanks for asking. Still not drinking but no pink clouds yet !! But probably not surprising - my dad who is 87 has had various hospital appointments and I’m trying to support him and my mum (who is 86), also trying to ensure I’m there for my DD who is taking A levels in May and I’m working 4 days a week! So life feels busy and not much time to do the healthy things like walking and eating well that I’d like to.
But definitely better without alcohol! I am at least enjoying the TV I watch in the evening and remembering it the next day.

my drinking issue is the bottles of wine I’d drink by myself in the evening. I didn’t really drink to excess when out with friends - possibly more worrying I would have more to drink when I got home. So I’m not feeling less “fun” if that makes sense. In fact, I’ve quite enjoyed my times out with friends these last past two months since I am not questioning how drunk I am and whether I am saying stupid things!

I hope your baseline does rise so you feel less “meh” . But calm and steady is good. And our bodies and brains must be resetting and working out this new normal.

Hope you and others on the thread have a good weekend

@AFmammaG I guess the initial elation of not drinking and how good you feel balances out. Time to embrace the new phase of your AF journey, it’s normal to look back and remember the good things about alcohol when the bad things are a more distant memory. Your mood might brighten with spring and new beginnings.
60 days is huge! Well done 👏

I have done 13 days and I'm feeling so good
I had my first AF night out, all drinking G and T and my drink (soda water) looked just the same, most folk none the wiser. I must say I felt good this morning getting up early and doing my workout

I am worried about it all coming crashing down though, that one bad day, issues at home then I reach for the vino…

Day 62 and I have to admit nothing beats a good night of sleep and that rested feeling in the morning. I’ve now exceeded my 2024 PB of 60 days, which again, was a great feeling.

I went out Friday night and I was dreading it I have to admit. I am still fascinated that there are people who can enjoy one or two glasses of Prosecco and feel satisfied by that. That would have been torture for me 😆 It is certainly nice having a Diet Coke and not having to think about how much I’m drinking compared to everyone else. Not having to think about whether it’s too soon to suggest another glass. And not having to worry about what people think of my behaviour. Was I too loud? Did they think I was drunk etc etc

@BoilingHotand50something I appreciate your honesty because I don’t want to be waiting for something that doesn’t happen. I think you are right about things being flatter. Hopefully I will stop craving that high. I too have tried a few new hobbies. I too think my DH prefers the Friday and Saturday evenings when I was drinking. I too feel less “fun”.

But it’s that post I wrote November/December time about feeling so low I didn’t want to continue that keeps popping into my head. Do you remember that one and how you replied about the tone of my updates when I was drinking verses dry? I just can’t go back to that place. Caught in the drinking, shame, dry, high, drunk, depressed cycle. So if the compromise is a 5/10 I’ll take it.