Day 1 or 100 tulips and snowdrops say #browniesnotbeer

[CoffeeLover90]

Didn't think I'd be worthy, being so new to these threads, but an amazingly brave woman managed to drive past a shop today and not give into cravings. And I was one of the people that were thanked. I'm humbled.
I may not post on here daily, life, child and pets demand attention but I hope people find what I have from this- encouragement, reassurance and no judgement.

It's been almost a year since I began drinking 3 to 7 days per week. In that time I've many failed attempts to stop or moderate.
I'm now on my longest dry spell since my first attempt. Day 21, with @AFmammaG beside me.
I have no plans for September. I'm in an hour by hour, day by day situation.
I will do Sober for October. Definitely. No doubt.

#browniesnotbeer came to mind when another poster mentioned they'd 'rage ate' a brownie rather than pour a drink. I've turned to food but balancing that with exercise and telling myself it will be easier to cut out chocolate. Although I could be lying to myself there...

www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5066932-day-1-or-1000-all-welcome-on-the-tulips-and-snowdrops-thread?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

I like the idea of a different goal @AFmammaG which isn’t connected to alcohol. I guess mine has been doing 10k steps every day.
I failed at that today because my DD had something rubbish happen in her life today and needed some comfort and attention from me which took precedence over exercise.

But I didn’t fail on staying sober. Normally I would have reached for a glass of wine to help me deal with the situation but I didn’t and I was obviously a much better support to her sober.

Hey everyone! A veryyyyy long time I was part of this group (back in Aug), I was doing so well at the time and as you may have guessed... Didn't last. I was gutted with myself at the time as I had said yes to join a friend at a party (it was too early for me to have said yes). I shouldn't have gone. And then my drinking got worse for the rest of the year in 2024.

Anyway, it's really nice to see some familiar ppl here still :)

I'm on day 3 today. It's my birthday on Sunday and I committed to at least a week of no drinking as a birthday present xxx just wanted to say hi and well done everyone!

Well done @Limeandsoda2023 the more times you cope with difficult situations sober, the stronger those new pathways in the brain become. Stopping this time around has come much more natural to me than any other year. Yes I miss that first glass but nothing else. Honestly, nothing else. I can’t think of anything to do with alcohol that I currently miss and if I could have one glass and be happy, well I wouldn’t be here!

Hi @dontlookbackinangerr and welcome back. Wishing you luck with your new target of a week. Every dry day counts!

Thank you for the warm welcome back 🙏 day 4 and got last witching hour by having early dinner. Finding self care routines are the thing that get me through at the moment. Hope everyone is doing good too

Great work @dontlookbackinangerr I also have cranked up the self care.

Day 18 here and really feeling great. Calm, balanced, in control. Going onto the weekend feeling confident and content. We’ve got this!

Welcome back @dontlookbackinangerr and great to hear your progress @AFmammaG and @Limeandsoda2023 and everyone else battling the Wine Witch or whichever Witch is your demon.

@BoilingHotand50something I’m 3 weeks tomorrow. This has been the easiest dry Jan to date. I think I have a different mindset this time, like I’ve told myself I don’t want it. There’s no argument going on. Long may it continue!

Checking in day 27. I purchased a piece of jewellery as a well done for a dry Jan. 7% through 2025 and feeling strong. Hope everyone else is ok.

I’m on day 25 and also still feeling strong. Definitely sleeping better and skin is clearer (and less red!) but no weight loss at all which is really annoying!

lovely that you bought some jewellery @AFmammaG , my savings are going towards our holiday in the summer.

ive been out with various friends during Jan and been fine with AF drinks but am seeing a group of friends in early Feb who are big drinkers. Determined to stay dry and plan to tell them I am aiming for 100 days dry.

Hope everyone else is doing ok?

Well done both - keep up the good work!

Day 34 and whilst the end of Jan may have been an excuse to drink in the past, not now! My weekends are feeling longer. I’m getting more done and it feels wonderful to wake on a Sunday morning feeling recharged and ready to go.

I hope everyone else is ok. @Limeandsoda2023 I’m reading your updates on the other thread and quietly cheering you on.

Day 33 for me today and still going strong. I am cheering you on too @AFmammaG on this thread and under your other username on the other.

Disappointed that I haven’t lost any weight but definitely sleeping much better and I think my face looks thinner (or maybe less puffy?).

But perhaps more importantly, I am feeling calmer and more able to deal with usual stresses. I’m not loving my job at the moment and in Nov/Dec I was opening a bottle of wine (at least) a night to “relax” from the stress. But I’m currently finding I can cope a bit better in the moment and so don’t have the need for that escape valve as soon as I am home. Hopefully that keeps going.

and even more importantly, I am loving being present with my teen DD especially in the evenings.

Hope others are doing ok. Do feel able to post whatever stage you are at. I’ve had a multitude of day 1s and trying hard this time to take it one day at a time and keep building up my streak of dry days!

Wow!! So awesome to see everyone doing so well!!

Day 1 for me, again. I have been going through some super stressful times over here, but it’s painfully obvious alcohol is NOT helping the situation.

Found out my DH has been drinking liquor behind my back. I found the bottles while cleaning a downstairs room we rarely use. He is acting like it’s not a big deal, but it is. It is A HUGE DEAL!!

You know you’re in trouble addiction wise when you hide your consumption from someone you usually consume with. And naturally all these weird moments are popping up in my head where I question everything.

Oh no @SadMama87 that is a worry. How has he responded since you found out? Is there any chance he will take some time off drinking with you?

@AFmammaG I requested that “we” cut back to only weekends, but I am fully intending on not drinking on weekends either. I dumped the beers he had down the drain and he got upset (doesn’t like to waste money) but I told him “it’s obvious we have a problem with alcohol. I needed it out of the house.” And I told him that him drinking secretly was very weird.

I am meeting his therapist tonight for the first time. He made the appointment so I could explain to his therapist my issues with the relationship.

This is a very strange time for me. I am on the precipice of financial independence and instead of fantasizing about our future, I am planning my escape. I’m trying to stay faithful and hopeful that he can change, but if he doesn’t man up by the time I am in my career, I will be prepared to continue on without him.

Oh I hope the appointment later goes ok. I’m not sure what to advise, he’s got to want to stop himself. I guess you just stick to your plan, keep chipping away at your sober days and hope he decides to join. Best of luck.

Day 40 here. Yesterday I had a really hard day. I won’t bore you with all the details but it would have been a classic day where I drank. I sat with the idea for a few moments, then made myself a fruit juice and moved on. Feeling quite at peace today.

I was thinking about the post I wrote last year about not being able to carry on the way I was and I just feel so grateful that I’ve been able to stick with it this time. Total abstinence really is the way forward for me.

I hope everyone else is ok. I still think about you guys all the time ❤️

Hi all, I joined this thread last year and here I am again, drinking way too much and I’m a bit of a mess.
Hoping you all can help me again.
I’ve drank every day since Christmas.
today I stop.

Well done to those who are AF
Hoping that’ll be me soon!

Welcome back @Cantdoitalll and good luck with Day 1. In the hope it helps, I am pleased to say that I am currently on day 41 dry which is my longest dry streak in years and probably since I was pregnant with my DD (now 17!). I had countless day 1s last year but my decent dry streaks of 10 or 15 days were interspersed with periods of daily drinking so whilst I cut down considerably when looking at the year as a whole, it also was blindingly obvious that I can't moderate. So this year I set myself the target of completing dry Jan (starting on 2nd Jan) and once that was done I have decided to aim to also do dry Feb. I am not looking too much further ahead just now although I am tempted to aim to go for 100 dry days...
I find AF drinks help me - I enjoy the Captain Morgan's spiced AF rum with diet coke as my drink of choice when I get home from work - but others have found other distractions. I am most definitely much happier being AF so I would encourage you to go for it.

Hi @Cantdoitalll sending hugs to you. Day 44 for me. Something has changed this time. Things that have helped me.

1. Telling everyone. I mean everyone. Not that I have a problem but that I’m not drinking this year. It’s shown me who to avoid.
2. Rewarding myself with non food / drink related things as regularly as I need it. Positive self talk is a game changer.
3. Setting a new totally unrelated goal for the first month. Let’s say I wanted to knit a jumper and I committed to knitting for 10 minutes but every single day. It gave me a new focus. Took my mind off the voice in my head. And I felt awesome when I achieved it.
4. Sat with the craving. I know I’ve always advocated distraction and I do believe it works but I’ve been trying to acknowledge the desire. Acknowledge one glass would feel great. Then realise I wouldn’t stop at one glass and remind myself of all the reasons I don’t want it.
5. Have a back up AF drink. Mine is J20. It removes any thinking. Any debate. I’ll have a J20. I have them in the fridge. I order it at the bar. It’s a security blanket.

I hope this helps. I’m still reading and I’m also on the other dry Jan thread but I don’t feel the need to post so much these days. I feel much more in control and looking forward to my 50 days.

Joining again! Am STILL struggling to give up, it’s doing my head in-I just don’t want to drink and it’s EVERYWHERE

Thank you @AFmammaG and @Limeandsoda2023
Still drinking but cut down last 3 nights.

Tonight will be first AF night.
I have downloaded an app to keep track.
I am exercising again, following a weight lifting programme and have thrown out all the wine. Still have some spirits but they’re in the garage now.

6pm is my hard time, when I wan to drink. I’ll take your advice AFmamma and sit with it. Wish me luck
Welcome @Iamaf let’s do this!

Two days done.
I’m feeling very anxious. I will keep exercising and writing down the benefits of stopping.
My sleep has been really disturbed so feel tired - I remember this from last time.

First week is undoubtedly the worst. We must be crazy to keep doing it to ourselves over and over again. Hang in there @Cantdoitalll, it gets so much better.