Tulips, snowdrops and another Day 1!

[MamaGhina]

New thread as promised. I’ll pop on later to tag everyone as I wanted to get this link on the old thread before it fills up!

Link to the old one for any new joiners:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4877066-its-day-1-anyone-else?page=40

Hello everyone

@MamaGhina thank you for asking, im doing ok, still sober, just over 3 weeks now :) I have an appointment with the mental health community nurses next week and have been regularly taking my new medication so the fog is starting to lift now.

The detox was successful in dealing with the physical addiction but the psychological aspect of things is a whole different kettle of fish!
All the reasons I started drinking are still there and I need to feal with them one step at a time.

Gosh I am so, so proud of you @smegley, you have done incredibly well. Are you starting to feel some of the ‘benefits’? I know it takes longer for some but after 3 weeks my sleep has improved and my nose looks less red
I agree the psychological side effects are hard. Could you set up some talking therapy on the nhs? It’s free in my area and the wait is surprisingly short. Otherwise the mental health nurse may be able to point you in the right direction.
Sending you all my positive vibes and best wishes! You’ve got this!!!

Well done @smegley

I just saw some snow drops so had a little reflection on progress. Although, it was daffodils which is the time for the major reflection (in my mind as it's Spring then)

I'm 210 days sober, 2 stone lighter and after doing loads of therapy feeling hopeful. I didn't know stopping drinking would lead to therapy, which would lead to restoring hope, but it has. That result is pretty mindblowing.

Wow @Yocal - that is truly fantastic! So glad you are feeling hopeful! I am also 2 stone down and will be ticking off day 150 today! Whoop!

Well done @smegley - you are doing so well! So glad the fog is starting to lift - onwards and upwards!

Glad about the sleep and the nose @MamaGhina - keep going! You are doing great.

Hey all, have NC for this thread. It’s day one for me. I’m one of those high functioning secret drinkers and I’m sick to death of covering up how nauseous and hungover I feel the whole bloody time. I have been drinking on average a bottle of wine every night for the past 6 years and I think I’m ready to finally give it up. Have previously had a 3.5 year stint in AA recovery but I don’t want to go down that route right now. This is going to be difficult and I will need support. Luckily my OH is on board and very supportive of me getting sober. I’ll try to check back in here regularly to help keep me going. Glad to be here!

Welcome pinot! I drank two bottles of wine last night and am so so cross with myself. Am managing not drinking in the week which is good. I’ll get there. Slowly!

@Haggisfish3 Thank you! I wasn’t sure if anyone would be up. Reckon I’ll be up late tonight without my usual Pinot sleep-aid. Really understand how you feel after 2 bottles. I think the thing I’m looking forward to most is not feeling constant shame and not having to hide my problem. I’m so tired of it

Well done @smegley and @yocal and I've lost track of everyone else's news and if I scroll back to the previous page I'll lose the start of this message.

But hello @MamaGhina and @BoilingHotand50something and other old friends.

I've been up for an hour. I had two glasses last night fkr no good reason and they wrecked my sleep. A good reminder of why not to. Not helpful as I am very tired at present. Lots going on both personally/domestically and at work. Roll on half term!

I've lost almost two stone but have been a bit rocky with the diet lately and must get a grip again. I had some baguette on Saturday. It was divine. But oh how my tummy suffered all of yesterday. It's definitely the wheat.

I hope everyone has a good week. Lent soon!

Welcome @Pinotgrigioblues - this is a safe and supportive place. We have got you and you can do this!

@Haggisfish3 - don’t beat yourself up. Cracking the week night habit is huge. It’s a journey.

@SpringNotSprung totally with you on the diet front. Lost about the same amount but stuck and can’t get myself back on track. My tummy is loads better when I avoid carbs so I suspect wheat is also a problem for me.

Hello, me again. I made it to day 2. This is huge for me! I’ve drunk at least a bottle of wine every night for the past six years (apart from the occasional day or two here and there). This time really feels like I’m ready for change. I have so much to do today but I will try and not let myself get overwhelmed and stick to ODAAT thinking.

Most of my drinking has been done in secret, alone at home. I have a job that keeps me busy on weekends, and rarely go out to drink. I am diagnosed with inattentive ADHD and take stimulant medication for this. Unfortunately I soon noticed that my meds help clear up hangovers beautifully, and can often counteract me being drunk and sloppy if I accidentally get drunk during the day and need to appear normal. I think I’m more scared of losing my meds than the alcohol, as they help me function during the day. The alcohol helps switch me off again when the day is done, and I can retreat in to my private place to block out the world. I’m too scared to go to the GP as I know that if I mention how much I drink, the first thing they’ll do is take me off my meds, and then I won’t be able to cope at all. I’d really like to ask the GP for thiamine supplements, but I don’t know how to do this without bringing my alcohol problem to light. I recently had an overall health check/blood test, but my results didn’t show a deficiency. So perhaps I’m ok, and my body will start absorbing nutrients if I stay sober.

The plan today is to get all my usual Monday tasks done, do some exercise and then shop and make something good to eat for this evening. It will take all my strength to avoid the wine aisle in the supermarket, but if I can do that bit, then the rest will be ok.

Here goes!

Welcome @Pinotgrigioblues. I was also back to day 1 yesterday and as @Haggisfish3 mentioned, feel annoyed with myself. This is so difficult. This morning I just felt incredibly tired of the stop start cycle.

@SpringNotSprung I weighed myself this morning. I’ve put on weight in January and not lost, which isn’t really a surprise as I haven’t really tried very hard to do anything so far this year. I guess I’m getting out what I’m putting in.

@Pinotgrigioblues I understand about being scared of going to the GP. I went today for pins and needles in my hands. It’s getting worse and I think it’s starting in my feet too. I’m a smoker so circulation was my first thought but when the GP asked me about my drinking I was honest for the first time in a while and he added liver tests to the bloods. Now I’m shitting myself that it’s a sign of liver damage. I always thought that was feeling itchy, but then I googled it when I got home and there it is on the list of causes of pins and needles. Right at the bottom of the list. Excessive alcohol consumption.

I hope today went well for you. I highly recommend the exercise. For me it’s helps with sleep. I find it a distraction and I feel like at least if I’m exercising regularly I’m ticking one box.

God I feel crap today.

Good evening everyone. I have not posted for a while, I am still sober 18 days today. I do have to think constantly about it at the moment as I still have that little voice 'just have one' 🙄.

@Pinotgrigioblues you can buy thiamine and B supplements OTC, people who drink have problems absorbing these vitamins . Craig Beck has lots of advice on which supplements to take. Highly rate him as a excellent source of encouragement and information.
Well done on day 2 that is a great start.

It sounds like everyone is doing well, I am in awe of the weight loss how have people lost 2 stone?
I am grumpy today as I have started a diet today, really need to reduce my caffeine but one thing at a time.

@Allthecatseverywhereallatonce 18 days is brilliant! I haven’t been able to find an OTC Thiamine supplement in a high enough dose. I had a brief desire to pop and buy wine on the way home, but the moment passed and now I’m safe.

@Pinotgrigioblues oh I see. Maybe if you coupled it with B vitamins as well if you don't want to see your GP. Tbh coupled with the not drinking I am sure it will help.
Well done for walking on past that takes strength, I hope you have acknowledged that ❤️.
I have said this many times as I have a lot of experience I highly recommend listening to quit lit, it just seems to stick and particularly if the author reads it.
Another love is an amazing book to read/listen to. It is a candid account of hitting rock bottom, coming back and hitting it again. It sounds depressing but actually the story really hit home.
We have got this keep on keeping on everyone.

@Allthecatseverywhereallatonce I had a health scare including liver. Turns out it was a bone problem but also indicated sky high cholesterol and a very mildly fatty liver NAFLD - because I was three stone overweight, now one stone overweight.

I gave up booze (every night for 20 years - probs 30-35 units a week). Liver was fine.

Also:
Sugars, except fruit
Red meat and all processed meats and other food - no more ready meals
All refined carbs and drastically reduced wheat by about 90% - pasta and bread and any other stuff with it in
Gave up all trans fats
Eat more fruit, veg, pulses, nuts seeds.

I have not restricted what I eat in the context of quantity. I am not peckish any more.

Within weeks the bloat disappeared, as did my eczema and aches and pains. I am convinced the wheat had much to do with it.

Cholesterol now just a tiny bit above normal.

@MamaGhina I hear you. I know what the worry does to you. Get Yr bloods back and if there's any concern, can you pay for a fibroscan? With a consultation it was about £700 from memory. Just think of the damage you have already reversed - across the board. [Flowers]. The emoticons aren't working.

@MamaGhina oh bless you. Fingers crossed all is well. Good advice from @SpringNotSprung about the scan if you can stretch to it.

@Allthecatseverywhereallatonce - we’ll done on 18 days - that’s brilliant!

@Pinotgrigioblues well done on resisting. Keep going!

re weight loss, I lost mine via low carbing and fasting (16:8) - can’t seem to get back on it but have weight maintained since December. The not drinking plays a huge role.

Spotted some of my bulbs popping up! I have no clue what I planted where so it’s going to be a lovely surprise!

In the spirit of the name of the thread. For years I have tried to get snowdrops to take in this garden. I have bought nursery bulbs, supermarket bulbs, planted them in the green. Zippo! Finally, it has happened- they are grown and flowering.

It must be because I gave up booze

Thanks everyone, getting the bloods done tonight. Will keep you posted.

@SpringNotSprung my snowdrops are also coming through, no flowers yet though.

I spoke to DH last night about trying to be a bit more supportive. I’m not asking him to quit but it’s so easy to have a glass or bottle when he is too. He seems genuinely surprised that I think we drink too much. Whilst we are both over the recommended units each week, I guess it will naturally have a worse effect on me. He seemed on board though, I guess it benefits him long term to have me in a better place physically and mentally. He won’t quit but I’m hopeful he won’t add my wine to the shop etc

Hey gang,

Must admit I'm struggling too. I am really very much stuck in the moderation trap. Part of me thinks that perhaps you just have to do enough time in the moderation zone to finally be sick of it and be ready to quit the booze. Part of me wants to quit for good; a bigger part is petrified. And another part worries that maybe I will never change or it will take a life altering diagnosis or something to force my hand.

That is pretty much where my head is right now. I am trying to moderate, being rather crap at it, feeling guilty, wanting to quit, feeling scared and then repeating the cycle over and over. It is so clear what the solution is, that's the crazy thing!

I have started a wonderful £6 book on kindle which I'd very much encourage you all to try. It's called Beyond Booze by Sarah Rusbatch (she runs the Womens Wellbeing Collective on FB). She's just released it but I find her so identifiable and warm and the book makes me feel much less alone.

So kinda here in the mire, it sounds like an awful lot of us are struggling (and perhaps lurking and struggling too).
Hey @MamaGhina , @Thepeppapigfanclub @Haggisfish3 @smegley and welcome @Pinotgrigioblues , you are among friends. Also a big well done to those who inspire us and encourage us along in these threads, @BoilingHotand50something I am so chuffed for you x

Oh my goodness @Steppered - you have made me a bit emotional! I worry sometimes about coming across as smug but I genuinely want to support everyone so I am hoping I don’t!

@BoilingHotand50something you don't!

Oh god no not at all, you are not smug! I don't think anyone posting on these boards is smug, we are all in each others shoes, walking the walk and talking the talk. It is motivating to see those making it out the other side and giving us a virtual hand hold, and we are very proud of you x

@Steppered Thanks for the words of support. Really sending you some strength and love. Your quote made me think…

”And another part worries that maybe I will never change or it will take a life altering diagnosis or something to force my hand”

This is the bit my OH doesn’t get…why would we continue when we know it’ll end badly? He tells me all the horrific facts and supplies me with medical podcasts in the vain hope it’ll put me off drinking.

I’ve tried telling him the honest truth, which is that when my addiction sees all this effort (on his behalf), it laughs in his face and tells me that it’s more powerful than any scare tactic.

@BoilingHotand50something Not at all smug. Newcomers like me need to come on here and see hope. I guess it works the same as in AA - people in your position also need to see newbies like me to remind them of how bad things get, and be inspired to keep going

@Pinotgrigioblues
Love and support right back at ya! Normal, take it or leave it drinkers will never understand alcohol addiction. Addiction is complicated and multi-faceted. You (and your OH) might enjoy one of the podcasts I listen to which is Sober Powered. It's really science based and is eye opening.

By day I listen to podcasts and they resonate. At night, I either drink or I'd quite like to drink. I'm weird like that! I'm just hoping it all sinks in one day I guess.