The continuing support thread for living alcohol free, every day. Everyone welcome.

[Blackberryblossom]

Hello, and welcome to the alcohol-free support thread. The original thread was started about three years ago by drybird.

We’re a broad community who have all chosen to live alcohol free for good. Whatever your reasons, whatever you’re going through, someone here will have been there too. People here will have done that first sober holiday, first sober Christmas/birthday/work do/wedding/funeral, first AF night out with the drinking friends, first (and 2nd and 3rd…) AF Friday night/Sunday lunch, first day 31/day 101, first lapse. Don’t be shy about posting, we love all the successes of whatever shape and size and we have all been there too when things go wrong.

If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quit altogether then maybe have a look at the long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board? Lots of support there too.

Brew yourself a and come on in!

Welcome back @Kate489

I was having more "days ones" than hot dinners at one point. It takes a while but when it clicked, it stuck this time (sadly I have no real idea why this time was so different)

Sending love WW

Oh my goodness!!!! I did it. A whole year. Never, ever would have thought I could do it. I don't think I've been dry for this long since I started drinking.

This has been tough at times I not going to lie but it does get easier as time does by. And I can't imagine drinking now.

Sorry I don't come on here often any more, life is sooo busy and tricky at times. But I feel in coping a lot better now that I'm alcohol free.

So good luck to anyone just setting out.

Well done @MyGhastIsFlabbered such an achievement.

Woo hoo @MyGhastIsFlabbered ! Many congratulations

Well done @MyGhastIsFlabbered 👏

What an epic achievement. Here's to the next year!!

Congratulations @MyGhastIsFlabbered on your first AF anniversary! That’s fantastic, I’ve followed your progress since the early days and am delighted for you!

@Kate489 it’s good to see you back. Impressed by your dedication in keeping going and your self-awareness. I rarely made it beyond the first day 1 (or the second, or the third, or the 20th…) Quitting altogether was not easy but it was still much, much more achievable for me than moderation ever was. I was always looking for a reason/excuse to pour a drink and it was just so easy to find one. Every damn day. Take it a day at a time, and keep us posted on how you’re doing if you want

Touch wood, I have escaped covid this time round. I did a test this morning, and then took some artwork to a local open call. I don’t know if I’ll be successful or not as it was very busy, but I am quietly proud of myself for getting my nerve up and trying. I was up, dressed, breakfasted with everything prepared and a positive mindset at 9am. That would never have happened before on a Sunday morning.

Thanks guys. I know I don't pop on very often but I am always about to offer support if people want to PM me. I'm more likely to see that to be honest and I'm happy to answer any questions. Or tag me as I think I get notifications if I'm tagged.

Hard day today, so happy to be in sight of bedtime. No alcohol though, no feelings numbed. Tomorrow is another day. Albeit a very rainy one, judging by the weather forecast. Hope you're all OK.

Morning all.
Feeling a bit better after getting support from the big boss. The rozzers too. My MH has approved as I feel supported.
Thinking a lot about Christmas wine (too much of it being advertised, not a lot of alternatives) but playing it forward as I am traveling a lot and need my sleep. I couldn't do the long drawn out next day, feeling like hell and just wanting to get home to bed. God knows why we put ourselves through it. I am lucky ad home as no one drinks in our house. Even the sons gf is a non drinker. I had to crack out the marks AF at the weekend.
The cheese thing is funny though as I never touch it now. Forty years a mouse and I just don't fancy it. Bizzare. Have a good day.

Hope you slept well and today is a better day @Blackberryblossom

Glad things seem to be quietening down @WendyWagon . Luckily I find alcohol ads irritating rather than triggering these days.

Im in quite a lot of pain from the op scars. Spent all Monday trying to get support but my surgeon is away and my other consultant he said would cover me is off on sick leave. By the time I got a number for someone else it was too late to call, and felt marginally better. It’s scan week this week (the days are just packed), so I’ll be seeing someone on Friday.

Got my scans later today so NO COFFEE!

Good to hear from you @WendyWagon , I’m glad you’re feeling better supported now. I can only dream of an AF household! I do know what you mean about Christmas. I now have an AF Christmas Cake and Christmas pudding so Christmas 2023 is already looking better than last year. I might look up some special AF drinks and start a small cache. Though it’s equally lovely drinking raspberry lemonade out of champagne flutes with dd 😍 Are you still a big milk drinker or has that gone with the cheese?

Thank you @Onewildandpreciouslife . I reminded myself that actually the day did have its good moments too. And yes, everything looks better after a night’s sleep. I’m sorry that you’re still in pain. Can you get help before Friday if you need it? Good luck with the scans and the absence of coffee. Are you allowed decaf?

DH has nearly finished his bottle of de-alcoholised red. I had absolutely no wish to try any. For all that I would talk about how great some red wines tasted, they were essentially just a more acceptable alcohol-delivery mechanism, and I don’t need that any more. I’d rather have a really good AF beer or an AF cocktail that is missing nothing.

I can’t quite believe this, but tomorrow is my three year anniversary of stopping drinking. Initially I was just going to stop until Christmas, then I carried on into the new year, then I decided 100 days but soon after deciding that, I realised I could stop for good. It cut out so much mental turmoil that staying stopped was on the whole nowhere near as difficult as I’d imagined, and so much easier than trying to moderate.

Three years is incredible @Blackberryblossom !

Today is day 599 for me, so I have a nice round number tomorrow 🤣

Three years - well done @Blackberryblossom - epic!!

It's weird how your mindset changes? I joined these threads when I 40 odd days AF but I didn't have a true commitment or belief in long term sobriety and now I couldn't and wouldn't ever go back. It was around day 90 that I remember thinking "life isn't too shabby when sober" and here I am, day 633 (just had to check)

Life isn't too shabby at all.

@Blackberryblossom 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 Many congratulations on 3 years - an awesome achievement. Thanks to all the support you give on this thread.

Today is day 600 for me. I am so grateful I stopped drinking- my life has improved immeasurably in ways I couldn’t have imagined. I’m still a work in progress - I’ve become much more aware this year of patterns of thinking that are unhealthy, but I would never have had the space to do that if I was still drinking.

Thank you @Onewildandpreciouslife ! Coincidentally I had a load of bloods taken today for some routine checks and it was lovely just absolutely knowing that the liver function ones will be fine. Blood pressure was entirely unremarkable too, which was lovely.

Congratulations on your 600 days! That's brilliant, and must be such a lovely boost right now 💪💪💪🎉🥳🎉🥳

Happy 600 days @Onewildandpreciouslife

You are doing a stellar job ✨️

@Blackberryblossom congrats. Amazing.

Alcohol discussion on politics live now.

Amazing milestones at 3 years and 600 days! And great to hear the benefits you are both feeling for it.

I think I'm day 13. Currently packing for weekend away and looking forward to it being sober rather than sad, which has surprised me. My first challenge. Have explained things a bit more to DH recently too. I've said I have no issue with him drinking (largely as he drinks beer and I hate the stuff) so it's good knowing someone in real life is aware. Think it was hard for him to get initially as I wasn't a big drinker. Will be tough explaining it to others, so will be taking my time and only have those conversations when feel they're needed to start with.

Wishing you all a happy and sober weekend!

I typed a long post and lost it. @Onewildandpreciouslife I hope your appointment went well today. Congratulations on your 600 days, that’s a brilliant achievement 🥳🥳🏆🏆

Enjoy your weekend @Kate489 . Hopefully it will be a bit easier with your dh on side.

@WendyWagon I missed that! Was it about the UK women binge drinking report?

I have had a challenging week. But at least I dealt with it by sitting down and writing some emails with a clear head.

Morning all. Wedding anniversary this weekend. We were in Italy last year. First sober holiday!😁
The new job is hard and we are in the middle of a conduct investigation. Two blokes fighting. Both accused the other of lying.
I wanted to roll over like I did last time but I love my job and have a few great people. I could have got absolutely blotto with the stress but I work such long hours it would mean I couldn't drive and I have never put myself in a dangerous position even when I use to quaff five bottles of wine a week. Add in a few stalker threats again and it did send me a bit nutty.
However I have rallied and I feel a lot better.
Love to all.

Thanks @Blackberryblossom. The appointment was fine (clear scans - yay!) and the consultant got a nurse to look at my wound (apparently gynae is “out of his comfort zone” in terms of experience.) It was just an emotionally exhausting day with the stress of scan results, having my vulva examined yet again, and a lot of pain. Then I went back to work and worked in the office until 7.30.

Still, I didn’t drink, so I win!

Have started re-reading The Sober Diaries to cheer myself up.

Hope everyone has a good weekend

Oo hello @WendyWagon - we cross posted! So glad to hear you love the job despite everything. And happy anniversary!

Glad I found this thread again. Hope everyone is ok. I am book marking and will catch up and have a read this eve.

I did 112 days sober. I was going through a divorce and had decided not to drink until it was done. It was done. I drank. Predictably I moderated a bit. Then had my usual blow out night - reminded me why I stopped. No drama. Just absolutely no added joy to drinking, and a million negatives. So am a few weeks sober again and this time I have decided it is for ever.

I know myself and my relationship with booze is unhealthy. I don’t drink in the week. But when I go out or have a drink at the weekend it never just a few glasses, once I start I can’t stop. And it impacts on everything. I don’t want to do that to my physical and mental health, I don’t want to be that Mum and set that example to my kids. They are teens and they are not daft. Ex H is an alcoholic who will never change. I need to be their stability and to show them a different example. And I need to do this for me.

Just listened to ‘Mrs D is doing without’ and found it really insightful.

Looking forward to catching up on this thread. I found it very supportive and good for accountability . Good to know there are others going through similar and who get it.

Welcome back @threeandmeandthedog !

popping by to say hi, job sounds good Wendy, lots of milestones to celebrate. No news is good news here, a few more sober nights out, they are certainly quieter, maybe less raucous and jovial but on balance i can accept that. I did slow cook the lamb shoulder yesterday in half a bottle of malbec... i don't think that counts, especially as i don't have gravy anyway and the damn thing has been sat opened in the pantry for over a month.. it must have been undrinkable.