The continuing support thread for living alcohol free, every day. Everyone welcome.

[Blackberryblossom]

Hello, and welcome to the alcohol-free support thread. The original thread was started about three years ago by drybird.

We’re a broad community who have all chosen to live alcohol free for good. Whatever your reasons, whatever you’re going through, someone here will have been there too. People here will have done that first sober holiday, first sober Christmas/birthday/work do/wedding/funeral, first AF night out with the drinking friends, first (and 2nd and 3rd…) AF Friday night/Sunday lunch, first day 31/day 101, first lapse. Don’t be shy about posting, we love all the successes of whatever shape and size and we have all been there too when things go wrong.

If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quit altogether then maybe have a look at the long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board? Lots of support there too.

Brew yourself a and come on in!

Happy Anniversary @Blackberryblossom Blackberry and hi back to @WendyWagon

sun shining here too. I shall make some headway in the garden before prepping dinner. Husband has a very bad man-cold so he’s out of action for the foreseeable 🙄

Can I join? Day 14 today. Astounding to me that I got here even if its early days. No intention to ever go back and really hope I have the strength to do it.

Welcome @Awayinthewindow ! Congratulations on your 14 days - you’ve done the hardest part, and it will only get better from here, if you let it!

Hello and welcome @Awayinthewindow ! Yes, as onewildandpreciouslife said you've done the hardest part. Take it a day at a time, if that's too hard then try an hour, a minute or even a few seconds at a time. It's great that you have such strong resolve too, that will help tremendously.

We went out for an anniversary dinner last night with friends. I had a surprisingly good seedlip with aromatic tonic and a surprisingly ordinary alcohol-free Riesling. I really should have had an AF beer instead, that's much more reliable. Lovely dinner though 😀

@Blackberryblossom I had a seedlip last week at a famous cotswolds restaurant. I didn't want to drink but offered my guest who turned out to be teetotal. End of the wine witch.

I am still here lads but we have had some upset again so I am keeping details brief. I culled a few Facebook friends who I suspected of gossiping. Sobriety has given me the courage to say no to people who hurt me. I lost my mother 19 years ago this weekend and no one in the family ever mentions it. Airbrushed. I nursed her, she had cancer. She was a very difficult person but if you needed support or courage she was your champion. She was a legend at our school.
I didn't raise a glass to her and to be honest nearly 22 months on I don't think about it. I look for new AF drinks and I was pleased to see good housekeeping's Christmas magazine featuring Ruth Jones who has given up alcohol. Worth a read.
Hav a good day.

Have you tried Pentire yet @WendyWagon ? Pentire Adrift is my favourite.

Had a hard few days - my scars from the op are very sore and I’ve been trying to do too much. Have hit the chocolate in a big way today and made myself sit on the sofa, which seems to have paid off.

Sorry you've been under the weather @Onewildandpreciouslife , hope the rest did you good.
It is November today! With the weather to go with it. There will be much tea today. We bought Asahi dry, which I liked and dh didn't. Plus some Natureo AF wine to try. I'm slightly unsure about that, the AF Riesling experience at the weekend made me wonder if I actually need anything pretending to be wine any more, it was such an empty experience.
Good to hear from you Wendy x

I am glad the chocolate and enforces sofa time have helped @Onewildandpreciouslife

Make sure you continue to take it as easy as you can.

Some days are harder than others for me. I can go days without thinking about alcohol, other times I can hear a light whisper.
Trying to stay focused, get on with living a full life, devoid of the nonsense alcohol brings. Often harder said than done. This is where I'm struggling currently. What does sobriety look like for me. Really look like. Do I skip social gatherings? Do I go all in? Do I pick and choose. Do I need a new hobby and to keep busy or do I need to learn to live with and appreciate the peace?
One thing I have noticed, is how destructive alcohol remains to others. I see people missing events (especially in the mornings) over complicating social events- how will we get there, how will we get back kind of thing. Embarrassing themselves. Don't get me wrong, this was all me for years. I've not been critical or preachey yet, though it does harden my resolve not to go back there.
I've lost a little weight since I stopped drinking, though wasn't consciously trying to. Just another positive that comes with sobriety.
317 days and counting.

All good
Day 10
On holiday next week so it will be a big achievement to stay AF
I'm ready for the challenge

Well done on your 317 days @Gymspiration ! The “who am I if I don’t drink?” Identity crisis is tough, but I think it’s one of things that you just need to ride through, like the cravings.

10 days is brilliant @Iamateadrinker . Holidays are a challenge, but sober holidays can be fab. There is much more time, for one thing. We’re here if you need backup!

Saw the surgeon last night who is happy with how I’m healing, so I (as the ridiculous people-pleaser that I am) feel much happier!

There was one point this week when I was really scared I would start to drink again. Interestingly though there was no delusion that this was because I thought alcohol would be fun - I just wanted to be numbed. Anyway, it passed, and I’m still here!

I love sober holidays too, I felt that I came back actually rested. Although wishing that planes had better/any AF drink choices. Good luck @Iamateadrinker you won't go far wrong with that resolve and the first two hard weeks in your pocket.
I'm glad you're on the mend @Onewildandpreciouslife . Look after yourself.
Just learned that someone I spent yesterday morning with has tested positive for covid today. My immediate response was that this situation would merit a drink. Then I remembered that I don't drink any more, and even if I did, alcohol really would not help. I just don't want another annual bout of autumn covid but I suppose it's out of my hands. Anyway. Off to do something positive like checking I have tests in the house and standing down coffee with a couple of vulnerable friends.
How are we all? It's been quieter than normal in here over the last couple of days. Hope everyone is OK and not suffering with weather/covid related cravings.
Edit because I posted too early - congratulations @Gymspiration that's a brilliant milestone and I'm sure the prime number ones get bonus points I try to regard the identity thing as me with the morning upgrade. It somehow feels easier to look for the things that I have now, rather than the things that I've lost. Although losing hangovers will never get old.

You're getting every closer to the one year milestone @Gymspiration
Keep going, you are doing amazingly well 👏

Good luck with the holiday @Iamateadrinker you've got this. I love a sober holiday (I've done 4 now!! All UK and with DC and if that didn't drive me to drink..... 😂 )

Oh yuck to ongoing Covid issues! It’s a weird in-between thing now, because there aren’t any “rules”, just common sense and good manners (I sound like my mother 🤣).

My achievement today is I think (touch wood) I am now off my anti depressants! Been tapering for a while, but decided to give life a go without, and all is going fine so far.

Evening all.
Not in the smoke today. Just done some tidying up.
The issues rumble on so trying to keep everyone happy. Not working, but I'm trying even with this massive job!!
I recommend the Brazilian orange in cans from Marks. Delicious.
I'm miss writing my monologue but rozzers orders not to say too much.

Good to hear from you @WendyWagon , look after yourself first. I'll have a look for that orange, thank you!

I stood on the scales this morning after a long period of denial, and I have put a stone back on of the three that I lost. So time to start exercising more regularly and back to more sensible breakfasts and lunches (almond croissants I'm looking at you). Hopefully I'll stay clear of covid and maintain this morning's motivation. I'm reading a book about sleep which is really not pulling any punches about how important sleep is. Apparently it's much easier to put weight on when there's not enough sleep. That was a sobering read. So a hill walk and an early night tonight.

I’m trying to improve my sleep by not going on screens before bedtime, but I haven’t had the self discipline since the op. Was back on it the last couple of nights.

All these “how to improve your sleep” articles in the papers really irritate me though, because none of them say “stop drinking” which (after that unpleasant recalibration at the start) for most people makes a huge difference. Mind you, DH has really bad sleep issues and I don’t say to him “stop drinking” because it would annoy him!

Im starting to feel a bit more like me today - went into the office yesterday, which helps I think

I stopped using any screen other than a kindle in bed and it's definitely made it easier to wind down. The problem was that dh hadn't.... though he is trying now. Nothing worse than an ipad on at 3am.I try to unwind with guitar or other music in the late evenings. Not always successful though.
The book is by Matthew Walker and he presents the research/evidence and leaves the reader to make their own mind up. He certainly hasn't sugar-coated anything in the section about drinking alcohol in pregnancy or when breastfeeding so I'm expecting another chapter to come on alcohol and adult sleep. His main focus is on sleep so it's interesting to see alcohol from that perspective.
Hope everyone is looking forward to an AF Friday night. I don't have covid yet so all good here.

Just a quick check in here, I hit a year AF yesterday. I haven’t been on the thread in a long time but it’s encouraging to see so many familiar names. A year in and I’m so much more in control of how I feel every day. I’d never go back. Stay strong ladies!!

Good to see you @Shanster and congratulations on your year!

@Shanster well done you.

Dear friends we had to call the police today. I obviously attract nutters. Drink wasn't needed and I now know it wouldn't have helped.

@Shanster great news. Massively well done. Every day is an achievement in itself.
I'm trying to take 1 day at a time, though I do have half an eye on the festive season and all the madness that accompanies it. Trying not to overthink. Would like to have a few coping strategies - maybe that is me over thinking?! Who knows.
Currently 2 hours away from 321 days.

Congratulations on your year @Shanster ! Brilliant achievement.

@gymspiration - another cool milestone! I’m a fan of coping strategies, having a bit of a plan makes it easier to navigate old triggers in new ways. And once you’ve done it once you build confidence in being able to do it again. Are there any particular situations that you’re worried about?

Crikey @WendyWagon you’re having a tough time. Well done on choosing not to respond with alcohol.

Hi all, popping back for accountability. I've been reading your posts and trying to figure things out. Day 7. Attempt #3.

Two weeks ago I had almost half a bottle of wine with DH. Last weekend I had a bottle over 2 nights myself. Not a big amount, and I told myself I could moderate and stick to weekends. I didn't notice the difference at the time the first week, but this week I noticed a shift in myself from how I was in the weeks before. I was agitated, I had a lot less patience with DC and I lacked motivation to do something fun with them. I was teary and I had that voice back in my head. That fucking voice. When are we having a drink.

Last week I was almost agreeing with myself I would drink until Christmas. Then stop. Would be easier that way. I have a few things in I never opened, give me a chance to get to them and say a proper goodbye.

That horrid realisation that drinking even small amounts was impacting on my mood so much, has been enough to make me want to stop for the longer term. I was never aware of the effects drinking could have on days I was sober. I thought I was peri-menopausal, but now I see what I was doing to de-stress was doing the complete opposite and then some.

So after an emotional week here I am. Mind blown, priorities in check and more motivated this time round. When I first stopped it was on a whim with no focus. I was still trying to make sense of things and posts here scared me as I recognised myself in them. I can't believe how much it can affect you, even in small amounts.

It is shocking isn’t it @Kate489 ? I always say I never realised how much alcohol was taking from my life until I stopped drinking. I’m glad you’re back.

Hope you’re ok this morning @WendyWagon