The continuing support thread for living alcohol free, every day. Everyone welcome.

[Blackberryblossom]

Hello, and welcome to the alcohol-free support thread. The original thread was started about three years ago by drybird.

We’re a broad community who have all chosen to live alcohol free for good. Whatever your reasons, whatever you’re going through, someone here will have been there too. People here will have done that first sober holiday, first sober Christmas/birthday/work do/wedding/funeral, first AF night out with the drinking friends, first (and 2nd and 3rd…) AF Friday night/Sunday lunch, first day 31/day 101, first lapse. Don’t be shy about posting, we love all the successes of whatever shape and size and we have all been there too when things go wrong.

If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quit altogether then maybe have a look at the long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board? Lots of support there too.

Brew yourself a and come on in!

Congratulations on 7 years @doodlepants ! I don't have a drinking culture at work, but because it's unusual it caught me off guard previously and was why I started drinking after 2 years of abstinence previously. I didn't want to stand out or look strange etc... This time I think I'll just say I don't drink, I just don't enjoy it.

I've woken up with no hangover on day five. First Friday for a looong time I didn't have any wine. I felt so tired last night. But I slept so well. Lovely not to wake up for the day at 4am feeling anxious and worried. Have a lovely weekend everyone x

Well done on your first Friday and day 5 @Womanshour ! Sober Saturday mornings are amazing.

Thank you @Onewildandpreciouslife!

I hope people don't mind me posting each day at the minute. Just trying to keep myself accountable. Day 6. Loved waking up without a hangover to my children coming up with mothers day cards. No dreadful breath or headache. Hope you all have a good day xx

Post as much as you need and want to @Womanshour there is always someone about (and if you are anything like me writing things down helps!)

In the words of King Charles

"Wishing all Mothers, and those who are missing their Mum's today, a peaceful Mothering Sunday"

💗

Congratulations @Womanshour ! It never gets old. I was just thinking how much more I enjoy Sundays now I’m fully present for them.
Lovely quiet day here today. DH is cooking lunch and we’re going to the cinema later.

Morning all.
My MN account went all weird on me yesterday. I couldn't post as me!

A bit rubbish on the mothers day front.
I don't eat chocolate, no booze and the DD is allergic to most flowers. I got zilch.
Having read some very sad stories this morning about abuse I don't know whether to say something or forget about it. DD is going through a bad patch and the DS is offended I haven't read his Christmas book yet. As I was hospitalised a few weeks back I would have thought a card wouldn't go a miss. I nearly died the tight fisted Wozerks.

I days of old I would have got bladdered. Instead I started the new Ruth jones novel. Very good.
There is a scene where some tourists are trying to 'rescue' a octogenarian daily sea swimmer from her morning dip. That would be me if I lived near the sea.
I am planning a sea abode one day. One half of my family come from Dorset so I don't feel like an incomer.
Eyes down for a good week lads.

Welcome all new people to this thread- it’s such a supportive community here, has really helped me over the past few months.

A sea abode sounds dreamy @WendyWagon . I am lucky to have lovely coast not too far from me. It is wild and beautiful and a real tonic. I love the power of the sea, it calms and energises me.

so this is my first sober birthday. I have been very low key. My 3 kids are with thier dad and I Will meet them for a meal out in a bit. It’s felt ok. I mean, it’s a Monday… but no urge to drink, I am enjoying the peace and quiet and my weekend was calm and not booze fueled and hungover, like pretty much every other adult birthday I have ever had.

yesterday was tricky. More from an emotional perspective , my 3 teens did bugger all for Mother’s Day apart from a text. I felt a bit hurt by this. But they are with thier dad- who is minimum effort when it comes to birthdays and the like. Just felt a bit miffed they couldn’t have come over for a cuppa or something. I am trying to rationalize it by remembering they are teens and at peak selfishness, they are good kids most of the time, they help out and I like them as humans, and thier dad will not be encouraging them in any way… I have communicated to them it would be nice to be together and they haven’t acted. So meh. Just a bit thoughtless and disappointing. Perhaps I am being a bit sensitive.

I had a nice day anyway, walked my ridiculous spaniel, went to the gym and then hid from the freezing north eastern weather and watched films in my sofa (Highly recommend American Fiction).

Happy Monday everyone

@threeandmeandthedog well we weren't ambushed as happened to the BFF yesterday. Her daughters bought the flowers, lunch etc. then proceeded to insult her non present boyfriend. She was in tears.
She came to lunch today and said I'll take a peaceful day with a bit of washing up over that display of entitlement. She's been on her own since 2020 and decided to try Internet dating. She's met a few frogs and this one seems nice. Some adult kids don't like change. Mine like to know all my business. Cheeky sods. I'm a woman of mystery.

The milk has been drunk. I'm thinking of my bones.

Happy birthday @threeandmeandthedog ! Hope you have a good evening.

Sorry that Mother’s Day was disappointing but sounds like you made the best of it. And you didn’t drink, so you win!

Morning all.
Big industry event today and I'm as nervous as hell.
Bloody good job no one drinks in our team or I'd be legless (default to fear). I am a guest speaker which is fine but I am still awaiting the new meds and need my stick. Not chic and I shall have to manage without it. Diversity in the fashion and beauty industry my a*se.
I have a new Max Mara frock in red which is my favourite colour. Hopefully it still fits me.
Have a good day all.

Ooh - best of luck for tonight @WendyWagon . You’ll be awesome!

Good luck Wendy! I love a red frock. I’m sure you’ll be great.

I have messed up my week by putting my back out moving stuff in the garage. Hoping I’ll be a bit more comfortable tomorrow but I still won’t be driving for a another couple of days.

how are you @Crunchymum ? I suppose that’s the thing about not drinking - the sitting with the feelings and recognising that sometimes life is disappointing. I hope you’re ok. Can you treat yourself to something for your birthday/Mother’s Day, or ask the kids to do something when they’re not with their dad?

@WendyWagon hope the event has gone really well!

Well it was the day from hell lads.
Train cancelled. Then I couldn't stand for more than ten minutes. I was a sofa queen and as much use as a chocolate teapot.
The journey back was hell. A lady had to help me get up. I cried.
Did I want a drink? No but I did promise myself no more big traveling until I've had the new procedure.
I shall do as little as possible today.
Wendy is knackered and miserable.

Oh Wendy, that sounds awful. Take things easy if you can for a couple of days.

Rest up, Wendy!

I'm plodding on ok. Trying not to dwell on booze too much, focussing on other things.

So sorry @WendyWagon - hope things pick up soon. xx

@WendyWagon that sounds tough- I hope you managed to rest up today. At least you will have looked fabulous in your red max Mara. And your default was not to reach for the booze- which is a great default setting.

I ended up having a nice birthday with the kids. @Blackberryblossom you are right- it is hard to form the habit of sitting with uncomfortable feelings but I am getting good at it- and it is getting easier to process these things, take a deep breath and move on. I am really grateful for that presence of mind.

Now I am sat with my seeping spaniel watching some old nonsense on the TV and feeling grateful for my sober life.

Morning all.
Hope you’re feeling a bit better this morning @WendyWagon .

Good to hear from you @HappyAsAGrig - glad you’re doing ok.

Sounds like a lovely way to spend an evening @threeandmeandthedog - love spaniels. I resisted getting a dog for years, and now I think if people were more like spaniels the world would be a better place.

Morning all.
I am up and have to go to a meeting today but quite close to home and sitting down.
Thank you all for the support. Nightmare illness which I wouldn't wish on anybody. I feel so helpless and stupid. The passenger next to me on the train on Tuesday was a spreader and it was hell. I might have to go back to being very grand and getting a posh ticket. Hopefully not long to wait for my new car, higher up and automatic.

I have a cockapoo and he is a true comfort. Currently washing my feet! Hoorah for dogs.

Thankyou for the lovely welcome back. It is good to be here and this is such a supportive place.
I am sorry to hear about your awful day @WendyWagon - do you mind if I ask what your illness is? No worries at all if you don't want to say.

Hello @Womanshour - I'll join you in daily posting. I find it really helpful. I was on the thread before xmas, then feel off the wagon and have recently rejoined. JAded, and annoyed with myself, but onwards and upwards.

I'm feeling a bit down about how many times i've started and stopped. i've done a week or so now, but i feel like i've done a million weeks sober and then falllen again. and as well i've done several periods of 6 months sober, and then stupidly started again. it always feels like a good idea at the time. i am really sick of this roundabout and sick of myself. i saw clare pooley, sober mummy, posted that she is 9 years sober. this really depressed me. i found her blog early on, and was only a few months behind he - for 6 months! i could be 9 years sober now, and imagine how much better i'd look, and how much more i would have accomplished! would love inspiration ...

Sorry you’re feeling down @livingalivelife . Can you do some digging into why you start drinking again? Are there particular thought patterns that catch you out?

The fact you manage to do 6 month stretches is impressive- not many people can do that.

Hang in there

@livingalivelife hello! I am day 11 today. I agree I have also previously stopped (and started again). I've had a heavy work week this week and I can feel the nagging voice that I need a treat at the weekend. It makes no logical sense that drinking a bottle of wine (and possibly even a bit more ... as you know it's friday... ) on Friday night is a 'treat'.

It'll be good to have someone to post with and keep each other going.