The continuing support thread for living alcohol free, every day. Everyone welcome.

[Blackberryblossom]

Hello, and welcome to the alcohol-free support thread. The original thread was started about three years ago by drybird.

We’re a broad community who have all chosen to live alcohol free for good. Whatever your reasons, whatever you’re going through, someone here will have been there too. People here will have done that first sober holiday, first sober Christmas/birthday/work do/wedding/funeral, first AF night out with the drinking friends, first (and 2nd and 3rd…) AF Friday night/Sunday lunch, first day 31/day 101, first lapse. Don’t be shy about posting, we love all the successes of whatever shape and size and we have all been there too when things go wrong.

If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quit altogether then maybe have a look at the long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board? Lots of support there too.

Brew yourself a and come on in!

My first two weeks were easier than the last few days - the novelty of actually not being in thrall to booze, maybe, and the pride and excitement of actually achieving sobriety.

Having covid also helped as I felt too terrible to want much of anything at all.

After an emotionally draining few days I am consciously having to divert my thoughts away from wine a number of times. I'm not going to drink, but I'm remembering why I wanted to!

I guess it's all part of the process of finding alternative 'crutches' or responses to the more challenging days that life inevitably holds.

@Crunchymum - I hope you are happy with your DC's secondary school allocation!

I think one of the hard parts @HappyAsAGrig is that after a couple of weeks you start to feel better in yourself (especially given you’ve just had Covid), so the “negative” reasons for wanting to quit have gone, and the “positive” reasons seem a bit elusive. Trust the process- it does get easier over time, if you give it chance!

I thought I'd posted on here but apparently not. Maybe I dreamed it. Encountered a bizarre trigger this week, just the feeling that the week was never ending and I deserved a glass of wine. As soon as the thought passed I knew it was ridiculous. I had a mug of English Breakfast tea at what used to be wine o'clock, and it was perfect.

I hope you're all well and easing into a happy weekend.

Morning all.
Up with a scrounging dog.
I escaped yesterday and went to the kitchen showroom. It was only a five mile drive. The DS was not so pleased I didn't take him. He's the design king.
Very excited to have made contact with a big cheese distributor overseas. I need a few wins.
I still haven't opened the orange AF gin. I had ice cold peach juice. Very lovely.

We should all be so proud of ourselves, every day AF is healthier and happier. It's hard work but worth it. And in the words of the make up advertisment we're worth it.

Hey everyone, glad to see you’re all doing well. Interesting to hear about the mad dreams because mine have definitely been more vivid! I haven’t had any more blips, thankfully. I have no desire to drink whatsoever. Last night we had dinner with a couple who were our big drinking buddies and the woman has given up drinking too! It was such a lovely evening not drinking together. Interestingly, my DH had a few beers as usual - he never drinks wine but will have a glass of champagne with Xmas dinner! - whereas hers drank a lot of Prosecco and wine as usual. We talked about us getting sober and whereas my DH said it doesn’t bother him in the slightest and he’s happy I’m feeling so great, hers is sad he’s lost his drinking partner he could share a bottle with. It made me think this would’ve been much harder had me and my DH regularly drank wine together like that. Anyone got any tips for how they can navigate it?

@BoozeFreeMe I think my dh felt a bit like your friend’s dh, but didn’t say anything. It turned out that just having the time together was more important for us than whether we were both drinking alcohol or not. He takes pride in making sure that I have AF choices, and over time he’s stopped drinking Mon -Thurs and only has one bottle of wine over the weekend. It did take a while though and I know that’s not something that happens for everyone.

Hope you’ve all had good weekends. It seems to have flown by here. Lovely to see blue skies today and get out for a walk this morning.

That’s good news @WendyWagon , hope it all works out with the big cheese!

Hello
I was on this thread before Christmas and was finding it tremendously helpful to have the support. Got a bit cocky, thought I could manage, then thought I could be moderate ... you know how it goes.
Back with my tail between my legs, but there's no point in being down about it. I'd like to make a fresh and positive start. Today is my day 1 and it is very nice to see some familiar names. Encouraging to see sobriety can be done, joyfully. Looking forward to being here more again.

Hi @livingalivelife you are in similar shoes to me - I have struggled a bit since Christmas but am doing much better. It's very, very brave to admit that you've had a wobble. I am mortified at my own repeated wobbles. I hate myself sometimes. But all we can do is dust ourselves down and keep trying. Definitely the enjoyment of sober sleep and mornings is a continuing joy for me. One worth hanging on to. We can do it.

Well done for your renewed day 1 and best wishes for all the new brighter days that are to come.

In other news - in an entirely isolated and bizarrely out-of-character incident, my elderly mother reports that the dog has eaten the gusset out of her favourite pyjamas. Dog denies it, no evidence other than the PJs, and nothing forthcoming in his subsequently-laid dog eggs to confirm guilt. Has anyone got a number for Vera...?

Strength and love to all. x

Afternoon lads.
Jumping on to say keep going.

I tried a spot of moderation in year one AF. I felt as sick as a dog. My naughty side said, 'whey hey' mates were back. Get that Sav Blanc down you but I genuinely felt a bit sick. The smell was awful. If you haven't the tolerance built up from years of over drinking you will taste every mouthful (my experience anyway).
I had bad guts and dry skin again. I have fallen off the wagon on occasion but it's rare. Milk is still my tipple and the new peach juice.

Thanks for welcome back @REP22 and @WendyWagon .
Enjoyed waking up early today to get some work done, and feel present for my family. Day 2, again - tho I'm determined to feel happy for all the days AF i have done rather than my lapses since December. Going AF is not an easy journey, especially when family cultures centre around alcohol - determined to be proud of myself. Want to focus on my liver too which is showing signs of strain. Abstinence is a no brainer for my health. I'm not sure why that doesn't seem a good enough reason sometimes.
Have a great day - spring is coming ...

Gusset eating dog is hilarious 😂I hope doggy doesn't develop a fetish.

I think returning to sobriety after a blip is such a strong thing to do. It's easy to "give up" and take the easy route. It takes a lot of fortitude and courage to go back to being AF. I was having more day 1's than I was hot dinners at one point.

Until the day when day 1 stayed as day 1.

Keep going x

(day 750 for me today!)

Morning lads.
Off up to see the team at a store pop up.
I won't be able to stand long but I can add some Wendy magic. The DH is driving as I still can't do any long road trips.

Have a good day all.

Morning all. Utterly hellish day at work yesterday. Had to do something I thought I never would and step in between an actual fight between a bully and victim. All while chaos was descending in other areas, someone was announcing a seven-figure income that was actually an unpaid bill that we owed and upper management was picking needless holes in a meaningless spreadsheet. I felt I made a positive difference but how I managed to resist the lure of Professor Smirnoff I just don't know.

Ah well. I helped. Now a lovely meeting with more spreadsheets to enjoy later.

I could do with some @WendyWagon magic to sprinkle about me today. Hope your team thing goes OK.

Very wise words @Crunchymum - and so helpful. Thank you. Congratulations on Day 750. That's almost a superpower there. Much strength and courage.

Thankfully no more gussets have been sullied and still no "evidence" in the dog's leavings. Most bizarre; I still struggle to believe that he is guilty. The dog is off with me to M&S later to buy a replacement pair of PJs for my mum for MD from his pocket money. I shall look for reinforced gussets. I wonder if I can upcycle a medieval chastity belt; I think there's one in the little city museum...?

Strength and love to all. And sturdy gussets galore. x

SturdyGussetsGalore is going to be my next username for sure 😁

Hello, hope its OK to join you all? I stopped drinking on Monday. I have previously stopped for nearly two years and then thought I could have a glass of wine. Obviously I was not able to keep it in moderation and have had an increasingly problematic 2 or 3 years with wine taking the lead more and more.

I have had an awful headache and been so hot and sweety which has scared me to be honest as I didn't have these sort of symptoms last time I stopped. Day four today and I am starting to feel better.

I posted last time on a group and know it helped to keep me on track so just stopping by to say hello.

😆😆Excellent! I see "Gusset Girl" as a Marvel action-hero for our generation. Possibly accompanied by Muncher-Mutt, her trusty canine sidekick. 😉

@Womanshour hello to you! I am glad you've found your way to us. You are very welcome here. It's an incredibly brave step you've taken and one which will lead to all sorts of benefits, seen and unseen. I'm glad the grim symptoms are starting to ease a bit. Soon they will pass altogether. Lots of good advice and recommendations of books and podcasts that are helpful. Clare Pooley and Catherine Gray are ones I've personally found particularly good.

Keep posting here; everyone is really lovely and supportive. Gussets are not a recurrent theme, I promise. x

Thanks so much @REP22 I am listening to secret drinker as we speak. Had a good cry to it yesterday. Thanks so much for the welcome x

I am howling at “sturdygussetsgalore”! @REP22 I hope it was ddog because if it wasn’t then your mum has a bigger problem 🕵️ Seriously though, your day sounds wretched. Well done on staying AF. I hope tomorrow is better.

Congratulations @Crunchymum on 750 days! And hello @livingalivelife and @Womanshour . My life is so much better without all the time wasted trying to moderate. And I hope your day went well Wendy, I love the passion in your posts.

dd has a conditional offer from her preferred 6th form, the option blocks are good for her, and she should get the grades. So today was a good day. I have that feeling of washed out adrenaline that comes from finally resolving a long-term unknown as far as possible 🤞 But now I know that a gin or whisky wouldn’t fix it.

"that feeling of washed out adrenaline that comes from finally resolving a long-term unknown as far as possible"

This is a wondeful description and something that really resonates. We had a disappointing secondary school outcome (second choice, and expected as we are out of catchment for first choice but disappointing nonetheless) and the old me would have been on the wine the moment I got that email.

I've drunk alcohol to varying degrees through most of life's milestones and events - good and bad ones - I was proud of myself for not even considering booze to manage my disappointment. That is such progress.

Morning lads

Busy yesterday on the thread whilst I was playing hold up ye knickers as the magnet had failed (adaptive undies because I can't bend down). New in Primark. My lovely SIL got them for me, great as long as there not followed by Derry boots and surgical stockings! I'm joining the sturdy gusset club. They might stay up.

welcome @Womanshour you'll feel better after about ten days. I know exactly what you mean re this time it's worse. Older and hopefully wiser we are. Our bodies basically say 'thank christ for that you old soak' and try to get rid of the toxins.
@Crunchymum if if helps my DD had four secondary schools. She was a school refuser. The first much fought over was a nasty bully pit. I'll never forgive them for what it did to her. Her last school was looked down on by the middle class mummy mafia. (needs improvement, 27% SEN). Not liked by the sharp elbowed. They loved her and she was the happiest she had ever been. Passed the GCSEs and is my medical student. I'm a proud mum. Dr DD.

Friday always a challenge but I have clotted cream rice pudding. That should do the trick.

Thanks @Blackberryblossom for the welcome. Well done on your daughters offer!

Day 5 and first day with no headache! Also first no booze weekend in a loooong time. I've stocked up on trip drinks and hot chocolate. x

Thank you @WendyWagon!

Hiya! I haven't drunk anything in 7 years, it started as support for my best friend who was an alcoholic going t total and I very quickly realised he was my only drinking buddy and so ended up quitting all together at first because I had no one to drink with and then because I realised I just didn't enjoy it. Pleased to be on here to perhaps talk about some of the ways to avoid the awkwardness of not drinking! I manage just fine around Christmas etc because my family all know I don't drink but my problem is work. There's a very social drinking culture (I work in events) and I'm always sort of expected to have a drink. When I've said "I don't drink" people are always too scared to ask why and the conversation just sort of dies, like they're trying to avoid asking something too personal. So I always make excuses "I'm driving" etc. but it's boring having the same discussions and no one needs to know the "my best friend is an alcoholic" story. There's also the other side that I have a 2 year old and we are going to start trying for another soon and refusing a drink often raises a "oooooooo are you...?" Sort of an eyebrow. Even now, after 7 years. Anyway, pleased to be here!!!

Morning all.
Welcome back @livingalivelife ! And welcome @Womanshour and @doodlepants !
It must be very challenging to be sober in the events industry @doodlepants . I’m a lawyer, and there’s a very strong drinking culture there too. But I very rarely feel awkward about telling people that, so the moment usually passes quite quickly. If pressed, I’ll usually say I tried Dry January and felt so good I kept going. I’m more likely to end up telling people how much better I feel for it, particularly if I’m in a group of lawyers, who regard a sober lawyer as something of a unicorn.

@doodlepants welcome.
A tricky industry events . I work in fashion /beauty and there is a big wine culture. Think ad fab.
Having said that I usually drive to launches so don't have a lot of issues.
7 years, wow.