The continuing support thread for living alcohol free, every day. Everyone welcome.

[Blackberryblossom]

Hello, and welcome to the alcohol-free support thread. The original thread was started about three years ago by drybird.

We’re a broad community who have all chosen to live alcohol free for good. Whatever your reasons, whatever you’re going through, someone here will have been there too. People here will have done that first sober holiday, first sober Christmas/birthday/work do/wedding/funeral, first AF night out with the drinking friends, first (and 2nd and 3rd…) AF Friday night/Sunday lunch, first day 31/day 101, first lapse. Don’t be shy about posting, we love all the successes of whatever shape and size and we have all been there too when things go wrong.

If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quit altogether then maybe have a look at the long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board? Lots of support there too.

Brew yourself a and come on in!

Glad to hear your first day went well @WendyWagon - all power to your mighty elbow. That's amazing news about the exhibition @Blackberryblossom, how encouraging and flattering. I hope many good things come about through it.

I have had fun in hospital this morning. Had to go for a mammogram - they found something (nothing worrying) so I also had to have an ultrasound and needle biopsy (ouch). Looks like a bit of an abscess and really not worried whatsoever, but good to get it checked.

I feel that watching my oversized, flaccid bits being flopped about by various professionals for the past few hours will have put many of the lovely NHS teams right off their chicken dinners. I believe I have spared the lives of many poultry this day. 🦃

Strength and love to all. x

Just a quick checkin. Congratulations @WendyWagon I hope this company is the one. Sounds like a strong start! And thank you.

Hope you're OK @rep22 I dislike mammograms, although I am quietly impressed by the uncannily clean and sparkling portacabin that they're done in here.

I bought a bottle of sparkling tea to try with dinner, then forgot about it and had an AF beer instead. Just had a glass of milk (channeling Wendy) and think it's now time for bed and book.

Hello everyone!
Joining under my new non-booze related name. I'm on Day 7 (so very early days) but have picked up a rotten cold so I think missing alcohol for the next day or two will be easier than usual because I feel like death warmed up. Even water feels like an effort.

I have some nice things to look forward to when I am over this virus. All of them require me to be sober which I hope will be another thing keeping me on the straight and narrow.

I'm very inspired reading your journeys so far. Congratulations on 2 years @Crunchymum, on the exhibition @Blackberryblossom and good luck to everyone else with their endeavours .

Welcome @HappyAsAGrig - glad you found us!

Well done on your 7 days - you’ve survived your first weekend. Hope you get over the cold soon

Morning all.
Feeling chipper. I did the LinkedIn announcement yesterday and it was fantastic. (I didn't do one for the last lot because I had a sixth sense feeling).

A couple of offers of stockists this morning, hoorah. They are such nice people. They offered me the £1000 gin last week which I sensibly declined. The real stuff makes me cry anyway.
I am dancing a little Irish gig.

Hello and welcome @HappyAsAGrig ! I hope you feel better soon. Congratulations on the first week, it definitely gets easier

That was such a lovely post to read @WendyWagon , how lovely that this job already feels secure and "right". Hopefully they will find some nice AF gins to offer you too!

Morning all.
Had the weirdest dream last night - had to justify being sober to a really bitchy old lady, who felt sorry for me! I think it came from my feelings of frustrations for a few friends who are suffering from various issues, which I know would be massively improved if they weren’t drinking.

Also I passed the 23 month mark yesterday, and I always get weird about milestones.

How are you doing @HappyAsAGrig ?

In all honesty, great from a recovery point of view, god-awful from every other one.

Whilst I appreciate the care and support of the staff at the medical detox I went through, I caught a rotten case of Covid and every part of me hurts.

I don’t want alcohol in the slightest, but I have spent the last two days feeling weepy and coughing like a 19th century consumptive. Every bit of me aches.

I’m self isolating from my family.

Exams loom for my kids and I don’t want them to be unwell for things they have been working so hard towards, but it feels so hard to have been away from them, then come home and still be alone.

Sorry to hear that @HappyAsAGrig . Sometimes we just have to hang onto “this too will pass”. I share your pain on exams - we’re in GCSE year, and DS is sooo fed up of revising (and being nagged about revising!)

Is it normal to be ferociously hungry? Especially for junk?

I suppose I’m down around 1400 calories a night in wine alone when I think about it logically, but I’m just craving biscuits and crisps. I thought stopping drinking would make me less likely to choose unhealthy food.

I have slept through for the last two nights, which is a massive change for me. Finding positives where I can.

Completely normal- there’s a lot of sugar in alcohol so your body is missing its usual hit. Just do whatever you need to do in these early days in order not to drink and worry about your diet later. Glad to hear the sleep is improving.

There is also something about the dopamine hit of sugar - I’ve just sat and had a good sob about minor family issues (think I’m overtired which isn’t helping) and have eaten too many chocolates! Ah well, at least I didn’t drink

Hi all, I haven't updated in what feels like forever! Lovely to read about your exhibition @Blackberryblossom sounds very positive and exciting. Welcome @HappyAsAGrig hope covid passes quickly so you're back amongst your family. Sorry to hear you're a bit unsettled just now @Onewildandpreciouslife quite the milestone coming up. How do you usually feel by the actual day?

I think my DM was still in hospital when I last posted. I reached 100 days but life was so busy and full of stress at that point I didn't get to process it the way I would've liked. DM has since left hospital, but what a horror of emotions the whole experience was as after going through everything we did, DM still has dementia and that's not changing.

I was so very thankful I'd stopped drinking while DM was unwell as I knew I'd be relying on it heavily otherwise. A really strong reminder for me that I'm doing the right thing. I desperately wanted a drink initially for a few days, until it passed when I realised how much worse it would make things. I have also faced my first outing sober, with friends who were all drunk. I lasted 4 hours and surprised myself how much I enjoyed it. They were more accepting than I imagined, although didn't go into much detail, just said kept sober October up as found I liked it. Got no pressure from them to drink, so was really good.

What a lovely update @Kate489 ! I’d been wondering how you were getting on. Congratulations on your 100 days and your sober night out! Dementia is a bloody horrible disease, but you’re so right that trying to escape the stress with alcohol would make dealing with it so much harder. I wish I’d learned that earlier.

The actual milestone always feels like a huge anticlimax! I always used to give myself a little treat on milestones in the early days (I developed an expensive Hammam habit 🤣) so maybe I should start planning one.

Morning all, well done @Kate489 @HappyAsAGrig

Terrible time at the hospital yesterday but the tests were done prior to the new treatment which could start in three weeks!
I have some key events before then but luckily no one is a drinker. We think the previous company will go into administration owing us all money. So much for millionaires. Racketeer more like.
Off back for an x ray this morning but I did enjoy the alcohol units question. Even the blinking meds leaflet said you can still drink alcohol. Nuts.

I’m sorry you had a rough time, Wendy. I hope the new treatment helps.

Friday! So tired.

Hello again @Kate489 , well done on staying AF and congratulations on your 100 days! That was when an AF life started looking sustainable for me. I'm sorry for everything that you're going through with your mum.
Love your positivity @WendyWagon !
@Onewildandpreciouslife a Hammam habit sounds excellent. Might not be so expensive compared to long term drinking either! I hope your milestone passes smoothly for you.
@HappyAsAGrig don't worry too much about sugar in the early weeks. Are you taking a multi vit? I forget what the important vitamin is, but it will be on here somewhere.

Yes, @Blackberryblossom , I'm on thiamin three times a day and Acamprosate as well. So far, no cravings (other than for endless snacks) and I'm happy with grapefruit juice and soda or just water to drink.

But it's only Day 11 so I'm not getting cocky.

Good to see how well everyone else is doing. I hope it's okay to share this update and that it's not triggering for anyone, but I'm wondering if it's also common at the start of becoming sober?

After reading This Naked Mind and marking a month of not drinking, I had a blip last night. Went out for dinner with friends and while there was no pressure on me whatsoever from them or my DH to drink, I had a small glass of wine for no other reason than I wanted to see how I'd feel/it would taste. To my delight, it was shockingly vile! I got no pleasure from drinking the wine like I used to and I could almost feel myself being poisoned. I didn't finish the glass and this morning I feel like I've drunk two bottles, my head is pounding and my stomach feels raw. Yuck. I'm therefore not beating myself up about the blip because I think I needed to remind myself of the awful effects and now I have I cannot wait to continue getting sober. I'm just wondering if blips are common at the start?

Hi, yes, blips are common, and not necessarily just at the start! It’s natural to be curious about how you’ll react to alcohol after a break, but now you know!

It’s what you do with that information that matters. Our brains are so sneaky, that it’s perfectly possible that you do another month sober, and your brain then says “ah well, after 2 months it might be completely different!”. And of course, it won’t be. So you need to be able to tell your brain that!

Well done on your month off, and good luck going forward. It might be worth reading some more quit lit, like the Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray.

Thanks @Onewildandpreciouslife, it's good to know blips can happen. I am going to read some more quit lit, so thanks for the suggestions. I think I've been so surprised how much This Naked Mind resonated with me that I almost didn't believe it, thought it was too good to be true etc, and that prompted last night's taste test. Knowing myself like I do, I'm confident I can weather any further sneaky brain suggestions. I'm writing a letter to myself to remind me how awful I feel this morning, and how awful the wine tasted, and I'm going to seal it in an envelope to open if I ever feel tempted again!

morning lads,

@BoozeFreeMe i think the taste when I had early blips was so bad it put me off.
I then said to myself unless I can drink champagne, why bother?
I never drank spirits.
I am not sure which author describes wine as rotten fruit and water but that resonates with me.
Now I usually order a seedlip and most people join me.

I might manage a Marks run today, small progress but I need to sniff the air.

Hello everyone, thought I'd say Hi while I had a moment to breath.

Life is c-r-a-z-y. In the past few days alone I've had an overnight hospital admission (planned and we have this once a year for DC3) plus playdates / birthday parties / hobbies for all 3 children. It actually doesn't feel like I had a weekend! There is no way I'd have been able to do all that I did the past few days if I was still drinking - I'd have been full of dread and anxiety and of course hung over too!

Another big week for us as well as we find out what secondary DC1 will be going to (sadly we know it won't be his first choice but we will go on the waiting list, I am just praying for second choice). I can't believe my 'baby' is waiting to hear about secondary school. The old me would be burying all my feelings by opening a bottle of wine each night this week but the new me is embracing the nervousness [and I must admit a bit of fear]. I am much better at sitting with my feelings now.

My lovely MIL - who has my DC for a few afternoon's a week - has been away for the past month to visit family so we are excited to see her at the weekend when she returns. I am lucky that she helps so much but she is also a wonderful woman and I have missed her a lot.

I feel hopeful for spring and look forward to another summer uncomplicated by me being AF.

Hope the new job is going okay WW

Hope everyone - old and new - is doing well?

Sounds a whirlwind, Crunchy!

BoozeFree, I can understand the urge to "see what it's like". Good for you for treating it like the blip it was.

I am very much in my early days so not wanting any alcohol at the moment. However, I do have some wonderful memories of watching the sunset with my Mum on holidays, over a cold bottle of white wine. I know I need to separate the "happy, uncomplicated and peaceful time with Mum" from the "sharing a bottle together."

With a view to helping me weather this in the future, I'm writing out how it feels right now to be free from alcohol, how good it is not to worry what I've forgotten I've said or done, to taste everything fully without dulled senses, to feel alert and in control of my actions and choices.

Morning lads.

I managed a full day of meetings yesterday, hoorah.

Many moons ago on this here thread I was charged with finding an alcohol free booze company who would work at making us some AF grog. Well I struck gold yesterday and met the owners of such a company. I am going to badger them to one up with something. They already do cider, beer and larger. They think they can do a wine. A licence to print money I say. Other than that I drank pineapple juice, my new fav.

Love to all and fingers crossed Crunch.

Hello everyone - great to hear your news and updates. Hope the hospital thing with DC3 went OK @Crunchymum and all the parties were fab.

@HappyAsAGrig that's a really good idea of writing out your reasons and feelings, particularly at a stage in a positive focus. The worth of having that to read back on at low points that might pop in future is invaluable. One of the reasons for this thread being such a lifeline to me, as well as the amazing support and advice, is the ability to look back at posts and remind ourselves how strong we can be.

Top stuff on the meetings and work plans @WendyWagon that sounds so encouraging.

My work is absolutely manic at present, just insane trying to unpick the ineptitude and chaos of others - I am reaching an inner level of shrillness where soon only bats will be able to hear me. With a clear mind and the dog's constancy though; so mustn't grumble.

Strength and love to all. xx