The continuing support thread for living alcohol free, every day. Everyone welcome.

[Blackberryblossom]

Hello, and welcome to the alcohol-free support thread. The original thread was started about three years ago by drybird.

We’re a broad community who have all chosen to live alcohol free for good. Whatever your reasons, whatever you’re going through, someone here will have been there too. People here will have done that first sober holiday, first sober Christmas/birthday/work do/wedding/funeral, first AF night out with the drinking friends, first (and 2nd and 3rd…) AF Friday night/Sunday lunch, first day 31/day 101, first lapse. Don’t be shy about posting, we love all the successes of whatever shape and size and we have all been there too when things go wrong.

If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quit altogether then maybe have a look at the long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board? Lots of support there too.

Brew yourself a and come on in!

Thanks, both! Lovely to see you here 😊, @Onewildandpreciouslife I always feel inspired by your username. I am so sorry to hear you are not well, @WendyWagon. You've certainly had it all going on these lest couple of years. Wishing you a smooth and peaceful 2024.

Happy New Year's Eve all. I've been following this thread for some time but don't really post. I haven't had a drink for 19 weeks now and just wanted to share a couple of reflections on my experience.

Whilst I've not been drinking I've made a conscious effort to do as many "normal" things as possible, especially things where I'd normally drink way too much. This includes holidays, meals out, parties with friends who also drink heavily and, of course, Christmas.

I won't lie, it's been challenging sometimes, especially as some friends and family see me as the party entertainment, but apart from the joy of waking up hangover free, I realised that I actually have a better time when I'm not constantly worrying about my glass being empty or whether we'll have enough booze to last the evening, or will we make the next pub in time for last orders. The sense of panic I used to feel about making sure I had my next drink lined up is completely gone, and it's meant that I spend more quality time enjoying my evening. It's utterly liberating. And a benefit that never even occurred to me before I stopped drinking.

And that's on top of all the obvious health benefits.

Good luck to all of their journey. May 2024 bring you joy, peace and happiness.

Congrats on four years @Drybird2020 - I was previously TreesSandSea and I had my last drink on 28th December 2019. We were together at the start and I am still dry now! Very rarely miss it, LOVE all the extra time and connection I have gained with my kids.

Thanks for all the continued support and solidarity 😁

Happy 4 years Drybird and thank you for paying it forward with your threads. They've been a huge source of support to me over the past 22 months.

Off to visit relatives for dinner but will be having NY at home. Its a very different affair now I'm alcohol free, long gone are the NYE's I was up until 4am glogging as much red wine as I could, in the lead up to dry January (yep I did it every year just to prove to myself I didn't have a drink problem 🙃)

Whether you are days or weeks or months or years down the line, know that being AF is a brave and empowering decision and it sets you free I'm ways you cannot imagine. Even though I've had a lot of melancholy about alcohol this festive period (and maybe I always will given how entrenched alcohol is with my adult Christmases) I'd never, ever go back.

Sending you all love and peace for 2024. See you on the otherside ❤️

Thank you for everything @Drybird2020 life here is so much better since I found this thread. You, @BunniesBunniesBunnies and breathmiller were my lights leading the way to a better place. And everyone here now keeps me here.
So sorry that you’re poorly @WendyWagon . Take things easy. Well done hanging in there @AppleCake7. @Onewildandpreciouslife that is lovely of your dd’s boyfriend!

On a gentle rundown to the new year here. DD’s boyfriend will be here, the fridge is loaded with AF goodies and I am delighted to have Christmas firmly behind me. DH isn’t drinking much tonight - AF with me then he’ll probably see in the new year with a whisky. We have the funeral this week so things are a little subdued here, but I know absolutely that alcohol would not help.
Anyway, happy new year all you lovely people, thank you so much for sharing all the ups and downs this year.
edited for spelling

Evening revellers!

Happy New Year's Eve all.

Tomorrow will mark 6 weeks for me. I have thoroughly enjoyed a dry festive period, far more than I did the last time I attempted one. I have made good use of AF drinks, and managed to stave off all cravings quickly. It is such a joy to be free from the booze, free from thinking about my next drink, sorting about hangovers, planning days around alcohol.

I wish you all the happiest of new years, and very sober 2024s.

Morning all.
Happy New Year.

All fine at Chez Wendy.
I watched a bit of telly, took the new meds (they make you sleepy) and zzz for 9 hours. Hoorah.

Morning all.
Happy new year !
Well done to everyone who got through NYE without alcohol.

Out for dinner with friends, danced til 1.30 and retreated to bed because I have a run this morning. Life is sweet.

Hello @Wellysock congratulations on your first 6 weeks AF!

I just had a really odd trigger. It was such a surprise! I’d just finished getting a whole bunch of artworks organised for the framers, then got my stuff together for dfil’s funeral this week and that fkn wine witch appeared from nowhere and said “wow, you deserve a drink!” It was so unexpected that I barely took it seriously for longer than a split second, then made a brew and realised that what I really needed was to sit down for a few minutes and to recognise that there’s a lot going on this month so it is going to feel a bit of a tough gig. It’s still a novelty being able to wake up clearheaded on NYD and get stuff done though

hope you’re doing ok Wendy and that the new meds are helping. onewildandpreciouslife how was your run?

Morning lads.
I am posting a bit again to keep me on the straight and narrow.
I had an up and down 2023 but the good bit was the house. It's still a great buy and I don't have any buyers remorse.
I did send a Christmas card to one of the pair of booze buddies who dumped me. I got a WhatsApp message back. Luckily no invitation to join her in a party for two! The meds are allowing me to sleep longer @Blackberryblossom

I read a few moderation threads over christmas and the effort was exhausting. It's like dieting. A friend offered me prosecco and thank God I actually don't like it. I had tea. I didn't feel hard done by.

Morning all.
Those sudden triggers are strange, aren’t they @Blackberryblossom ? I still get them every now and then, but I think of them as “flickers” - they pop up randomly and get squashed quite quickly.
My run on New Years Day was very muddy! That’s the problem with running in new places - I pick a route on Strava but am never quite sure what I’m going to get.
Hope you’re doing ok @WendyWagon and that the new drugs are helping. What exercise are you planning to do? You were talking about being able to swim at the new place if I remember?

I don’t like this time of year. Have been sitting here waiting for it to get light to go for a run - off work this week.

Hello, found a mo to pop in an wish you all a Happy New Year, Had our first hosting New Year with family and the last (2 years ago) was rather drunken and shortly before i stopped. This one was fab, managed to organise some games, and kept the 'sober' entertainment going until 12.10... then retured to bed, and up for a long long walk on NYD. I count that as a win.

Sadly FIL has got in on the poor health act, so i think 2024 will be a challenge for us as a family, that is two old and crumbling parents to deal with. But it will be easier sober than than drunk, and if i can do the last 6 weeks without a drink I can do anything...

I hope you all made it into 2024 with sobriety still firmly in the headlights..

Haven’t posted for a little bit, I think the new routine has pretty much stuck now. I don’t think about having wine much anymore. DH still not drinking either so that’s a bit of money we’re saving!

Hi all just doing a check in

been sober now since September 2021 apart from a one night blip early on in sobriety . This thread was a life saver at the time

Ive just done my third sober Xmas and loved every second of it .

Keep going everyone . It really is worth it x

Morning all.
Good to see you @Fortheloveofgodwhy and @Adm1010new !

Glad to hear it’s going well @OfDragonsDeep . It must be good having a DH on the same journey. Mine usually has a few dry days a week, but has obviously embraced the “it’s Christmas, I’m on holiday” mantra and has been drinking daily for a couple of weeks now. I have managed not to point this out - so far ….

Well done everyone! Checking in for inspo as have fallen heavily off the wagon and now everything feels like it’s untethered and I’m panicking! Back to day 1, and re reading this thread . Keep up the good work x

Morning lads,
All shipshape here.

@Wantofeelgood get back on the wagon. It will be easier.
I would never go back to my old ways. It is a huge thief of your headspace to moderate. You'll end up playing 'booze bingo' . For me I set out not to drink everyday. Yes I have fallen off the wagon on occasion but it became less in 2023.

Two years Monday lads. 60 pounds lighter and much happier with my relationships.
Have a good day all.

@Wantofeelgood there are often blips on this journey- some blips are bigger than others- we are all fallible. Feeling untethered must be unsettling, it will pass, and you will be ok. Go easy on yourself and keep going. Do something gentle and kind just for you- a walk, a bath, a quiet few hours on the sofa, and give yourself time to rest and resent .

glad everything is shipshape with you @WendyWagon . I agree about moderation- when I have tried to moderate (ultimately unsuccessfully… always starts well… you know the rest…) it is all I think about and it’s exhausting. Sod that! I like the calmness of having made the decision not to drink.

I have done 190 days in total dry since June, decided to stop and moderate in September, realised it wasn’t for me after two weeks of trying … so on day 64 since that realization. I am aiming for a year and will see, I think this is probably forever for me. My life is so much calmer and quieter. I have always wanted to be out and about and surrounded by others. Sobriety, amoungst other life events of the last year, has taught me to learn to sit with u comfortable feelings rather than numb them with booze and distraction. It has certainly changed my relationship with the inner voice in my head which was always telling me how rubbish I was- it’s much kinder now. I feel sad at stepping back from some of my social circle… in the moment those slightly wild times were fun, and I do feel different now I am not drinking, but I am also fully aware that the fun was about 5% and the regret and negative impact on my mental and physical health and parenting skills was 95% negative. So it is a no brainer. And my true pals like sober me too. And I like my quieter life a lot.

Congratulations for Monday @WendyWagon . What a phenomenal set of changes.

Don't beat yourself up @Wantofeelgood , remember the reasons why you stopped to begin with and the benefits you saw. If you want to, look at what your triggers were for starting again.

Feeling a bit wrung out here after DFIL 's funeral this week. I didn't drink.

@Blackberryblossom thank you for the kind thoughts. A few tough weeks this end but better today.

Welcome back @Wantofeelgood . Maybe time to review your “toolkit”. What are your tools for when the cravings hit? Playing it forward always helped for me, and I do enjoy ticking off my teacups on the TryDry App!

Sending hugs @Blackberryblossom - it must have been exhausting emotionally, but well done on not drinking.

Two years is amazing @WendyWagon - congratulations!

Morning Lads.
Two years of AF here today (some wagon falls).

2023 was a bummer for me but my absolute desparation to find a 'drink' to replace that 6pm cold glass went.
My most recent job was so full on I couldn't do more than drink tea and go to bed. I worked weekends too. I am now too poorly to drive or stagger to any corner shop!

I am determined to have at least a month off and see if the new meds work. I am then going to see if if I can try some exercise. I need to have a new project. I also need the endorphins.
Have a good day all.

Congratulations WW 2 years is epic.

I admire how you have dealt with any wagon falls, you never gave up and you always come back - the strength of that is something you should be incredibly proud of. Your perseverance and determination to be AF is a force to be reckoned with.

You are doing a stellar job.

A rest sounds very needed and well deserved. Hope the new meds help! I am still fighting with my rheumatology team to move me from MTX - but I have never officially "failed" it so they won't!

Ah bless you crunch. You have been a stellar help along with all the lads including
@Blackberryblossom
@Drybird2020
@BunniesBunniesBunnies
@Fortheloveofgodwhy
@Onewildandpreciouslife
@REP22
@threeandmeandthedog
@rothbury
@rockingbird

I miss some of the old crew. Their stories were motivating or funny re mad dogs. I know we all move on and perhaps don't need so much support. I still do.

I am ligitimately going to watch countdown shortly along with tea. I rock and roll.

Well done @WendyWagon that is great work. Sorry to hear the RA still has you down (but not out). I hope the new meds work a treat and you enjoyed the celebratory countdown and cuppa.