The continuing support thread for living alcohol free, every day. Everyone welcome.

[Blackberryblossom]

Hello, and welcome to the alcohol-free support thread. The original thread was started about three years ago by drybird.

We’re a broad community who have all chosen to live alcohol free for good. Whatever your reasons, whatever you’re going through, someone here will have been there too. People here will have done that first sober holiday, first sober Christmas/birthday/work do/wedding/funeral, first AF night out with the drinking friends, first (and 2nd and 3rd…) AF Friday night/Sunday lunch, first day 31/day 101, first lapse. Don’t be shy about posting, we love all the successes of whatever shape and size and we have all been there too when things go wrong.

If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quit altogether then maybe have a look at the long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board? Lots of support there too.

Brew yourself a and come on in!

Morning all.
very quiet on here, probably because the dry January / 2024 threads are so busy. Waving at anyone lurking!

Morning all.
I'm here. Needing a bit of support.
No champagne thoughts just hoping to get better health wise.

I don't think I ever tried dry January. Too much left over from Christmas. The dog and I are stretched out.
Keep going lads.

Sorry to hear that @WendyWagon . Are you waiting to see if the new meds help? Look after yourself x

Hello wendywagon sending massive hugs. RA is a right bugger. I hope the meds are helping. It might sound daft but https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/mindset-change-healing-your-mind-and-body-podcast/id1400465711?i=1000546509772

might be interesting. He does some lovely meditations/ hypnosis that help me sleep/ distress. This one for pain might be of interest. I know hypnosis is amazing for various things.

thanks everyone for sending kind and inspiring thoughts. I was hitting a low without realising, and your wisdom is of great help. I’m on my 4th day. Paying it forward is a definite help.
go wendy

Days 4-5 are probably the hardest @Wantofeelgood - the physical after effects of alcohol are still leaving your body. Your cortisol levels will remain raised until about day 10, but after that you should hopefully feel like you’ve turned a corner. That’s when your brain will get sneaky, and start telling you that this time it’s different, that this time you can moderate, that if you can stop for 10 days you clearly don’t have a problem…

That’s when you really need all the resources at your fingertips- whether it be quit lit, podcasts, support groups etc. Some people find it helpful to give “that” voice a name - woolfie, or the wine witch. I used to find it more helpful to think of it as my inner toddler, throwing an epic, if rather silly, tantrum

After finding a dry Christmas not too bad, I am really struggling this past week. I have a voice back tempting me, different, less urgent than the one before. It's hard. Few emotional grief spiked days recently, probably not helping. My focus is 100 days which I will hit 1st week in February.

I have been out running again, but frustratingly after a run last week I really wanted to chill with a wine, which isn't a habit I remember.

DH has stopped drinking for at least January, so we are a sober pair just now. I'm working my way through the books and hoping for the right chapter to spark new determination in me.

@Kate489 I really felt for you reading your post. It's so good that you can articulate how you are feeling and express it here. You've got a lot to deal with: it's hard to run when it's cold outside, and it's hard not to look for an escape when you're grieving. Just keep on putting one foot in front of the other and dont worry about looking ahead to milestones, each of the days, one at a time will add up to the big moments, and they won't all be this tough. 🫖🧁💐

@MyBedIsMySpiritualHome it is so lovely to hear from you, I'm sorry I didn't read your post until now. I remember you as trees from the start. 😊 I feel very much the same as you about life without booze, and I want everyone to experience it!

Morning all.
Good to hear from you @Kate489 - sorry to hear you’ve had some difficult days- well done for pushing through sober. And a run’s a run! Awesome work!

That urge to use alcohol to escape is so strong. I went to a funeral this week for the really tragic death of a friend - I would really liked to have had an easy escape from the feelings, but at least I know now that drinking really isn’t either easy or an escape. It’s just a bigger trap.

Good luck for anyone for whom Friday is a challenge- what is your plan for staying sober?

Hi, I'm new to this thread - and glad I've found it and hoping for some support. I have decided to quit alcohol completely. I am currently on my.8th day AF.. it was destroying me.. I am 33, female, and drinking at least 4.bottles of wine a week plus a litre of gin. The final straw for me was last Friday I went out with some friends, drank 2 bottles of wine, ended up.puking and had a 4 day hangover. I have a 6 year old boy, and a life to live. Can someone please give me some tips to get me through the first month at least? Thank you x
..

Welcome @Beanz2022 - glad you found us! Well done on your 8 days. You’re probably over the hardest few days physically. It’s really good in your early days to focus on your “why” - I think it’s helpful to write a list of why you want to stop drinking. Your brain will soon start to tell you you’ve over reacted, everyone does it etc.

Have you read any “quit lit”? The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley and The Unexpected Joy of being Sober by Catherine Gray are both really good places to start.

Keep going - a day, or an hour, at a time!

Hi beanz I’m still retrying early days, so am not what you call a success story. But saw some videos from kidney health website which have helped me scare myself. Maybe try?

And books mentioned above obvs.

sorry onewild just saw your sage advice to my recent post. Thanks for the warning, that’s what caught me out before, actually began to feel untethered and nervous - like when you are walking on a wall and your mum lets go of your hand. About day 10. Won’t fall for that again!

Hi @Beanz2022
what really helps me is the Try Dry app.
As much as I want a drink in the evenings, I know it’s going to ping me and ask me if I’ve stayed dry. I don’t want to let myself down!

Just popping on to say I've reached 700 days of being AF (love a round number!)

It will be 2 years for me next month.

It can be done, I never imagined I'd be able to cope / be happy / enjoy life without alcohol and now I'd never, ever go back.

To those just starting out - every day counts, every alcohol free day is important and will take power away from the poison that doesn't love you. Keep strong.

Thanks crunchymum needed to read that 💐

Morning lads.
Congrats on the 700@Crunchymum

Well done @Kate489 you are doing really well. If I remember correctly you had a stressful job which in my experience doesn't help with headspace.

@Beanz2022 i remember reading that people had reached one/two years AF and thinking wow that would not be possible for me. But it was. It can be done, yes there will be hard days but we learn to way up the costs.

I never want to be embarrassed by my behaviour again. I nearly lost everything but I turned my life around. If anyone mentions one of my historic drunken activities I apologise (I absolutely refused to do that as a drinker, in my mind I was surviving the event or giving myself confidence in a toxic environment). Now I just say no to things where I might be 'the entertainment'. A sober Wendy doesn't get so many invites anyway. I don't buy drinks for everyone like I used to cover up my need for more alcohol. It's quite funny how tight some people are and I never noticed.
Have a peaceful day my friends.

@Onewildandpreciouslife I am so sorry for your loss. I found/am finding the whole grieving and paperwork process very different without alcohol. There is nothing to take the edge off the feels, but as each one passes it’s gone. And no hangovers to complicate matters either. I hope you’re ok. You too, @Kate489 . Hang in there.
congratulations @Crunchymum on your 700 days! That’s properly phenomenal 🥳🏆
Thinking of you @WendyWagon . I hope you are warm and that the meds will help soon.

For @Beanz2022 and other fresh starters/lurkers - it’s as easy (ha!) and as challenging as keeping going. If a day without alcohol is too long to imagine, do an hour, a minute, a second until the craving passes. I absolutely swore by audio books and podcasts, and long bubble baths.

sorry for the absence, there’s been a lot going on here. But I didn’t drink. I’ve got to do my tax return this week, which always stresses me more than I’d like. But it can only be easier than the various paperwork after dfil’s death, which seems to be never ending. Anyway. This week I finished off the AF Christmas pudding. With clotted cream. It was beyond delicious.

Just catching up and wanted to say what a lovely post blackberry

Morning all.
Hope everyone is doing ok, and that you got your tax return done without too much stress @Blackberryblossom .
How are you doing @WendyWagon ? Hope you’re staying tucked up warm in this cold weather.
How are you getting on @Beanz2022 and @Wantofeelgood ?

Morning all.
I am a bit better thanks @Onewildandpreciouslife
I enjoyed Dragons Den last night and bought some of the ear seeds. Worth a try as ME is very similar to fibromyalgia.
If someone told me howling at the moon on one leg helps I'd try it!
All shipshape here with a new role for February. Part time at first. I can't commit to more.
Good luck for Friday night good people. Always a challenge for me.

Thank you @Onewildandpreciouslife yes I did it, nowhere near as hard as I’d built it up to be. So that was a relief. Followed two days later by dd catching covid for the third time! So I’m now in that irritating space of waiting to see if I’ve caught it again too. Should know by the end of the weekend.
Mock results are all in and she did well. Very proud.

I hope you find some relief @WendyWagon . Congratulations on finding a part time role too, I hope it all goes well. You deserve a good role in a stable company.

I hope everyone is ok. January has felt very long this week. But I’m still AF. Just had a very pleasant decaf coffee but think I’ll have a look and see if we have the mixers to make something nice. It is a Friday, after all.

I am on 14 days AF, had a great week so far! Had a slight wobble earlier as Friday loomed and that's when I would enjoy a few drinks.. but had an af free beer and some dinner

Congratulations @Beanz2022 , that’s brilliant! The early AF Friday nights are such an achievement 🏆