The continuing support thread for living alcohol free, every day. Everyone welcome.

[Blackberryblossom]

Hello, and welcome to the alcohol-free support thread. The original thread was started about three years ago by drybird.

We’re a broad community who have all chosen to live alcohol free for good. Whatever your reasons, whatever you’re going through, someone here will have been there too. People here will have done that first sober holiday, first sober Christmas/birthday/work do/wedding/funeral, first AF night out with the drinking friends, first (and 2nd and 3rd…) AF Friday night/Sunday lunch, first day 31/day 101, first lapse. Don’t be shy about posting, we love all the successes of whatever shape and size and we have all been there too when things go wrong.

If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quit altogether then maybe have a look at the long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board? Lots of support there too.

Brew yourself a and come on in!

I’m so sorry to hear about your work @WendyWagon . What awful news. Can you take a bit of time to catch up on your sleep? Happy Birthday 🎂 nonetheless, hope you have a lovely day and enjoy the couriered surprise!

congratulations @Kate489 and @livingalivelife so good to see those numbers climbing.

Hope everyone made it through the weekend ok. These pre Christmas ones can be hard. But it’s lovely to be regret-free every morning.

Happy birthday @WendyWagon 🎉🎉

Happy Birthday WW hope you have a good one.

Sorry to hear about all the work palaver. I hope you aren't left out of pocket. What a horrid situation,

Hopefully new and brighter things are round the corner.

welly thanks for the kind words one or two pages back. I’ve been reading but hiding as, yes am working on my brain to not be disappointed with myself, and envious of everyone who has done it!
happy birthday wendy and sympathies bkackberry and good luck all, got to run!

Dropping by to say hello and wish you all sober joy this season, especially to anyone feeling flat or struggling with missing the booze - Christmas is soaked in the stuff and it's difficult to get away from. I've been quite stressed this week with work stuff and Xmas prep, but keep remembering how many times harder it was when I was having "a few festive drinks" every evening, ruining my night's sleep and waking up even less able to cope.

@Blackberryblossom thanks for keeping the thread going -@WendyWagon sorry to hear about the job your work situation seems to have been complicated for some time if I remember rightly. @Crunchymum I hope you feel the seasonal vibes soon!

living this is lovely.
Welcome @KeepScrapingBy - these slip ups can be useful “data points” on the overall journey. I like the analogy that if you’re cycling from London to Brighton and you fall off your bike, you don’t go back to the beginning- you get back on, a little bruised maybe, and keep going, with a bit more experience of what caused the crash.

i think continually calling a lapse ‘ going back to day 1 ‘is disheartening and shaming and emphasizes feelings of failure. Need a new name! Something more positive and encouraging! Maybe ‘ I enjoyed learning from a data point’ 😁 maybe not! Any ideas anyone?

Morning all.
Up and feeling a bit more festive.
RA eased by the 'booze money mattress'. Blinking bliss. The DH is still upstairs snoring on it. Staples, the tempur is off to fleebay. However so deep the dog can't get up for his cuddle!
I was too poorly for birthday shenigans so I watched Bridget x2. Thanks for all the good wishes.
The consultant was pleased with my weight and sobriety. Still dreaming of champagne but I guess I always will.
I am having at least a month off. I need to sort the house out. Eighty hour weeks ment it's in need of a good sorting.
Two years ago I would have been panicking that I didn't have enough booze. Now I have bought my lemons and just need tonic.
If the booze has a hold on you you can never imagine how much better you will feel and look without it. I use to argue it was my only vice. I worked hard, blah blah.
I wish you all such luck with your journies.
A blip is just a that. Get back on the wagon. Drink plenty of water and be kind to yourself. No one I have ever met with alcohol dependancy is cured but they try each day not drink. We can only do but try my friends.
Happy Wednesday.

'Still dreaming of champagne but I guess I always will'. that is very helpful @WendyWagon - accepting that it is a loss, not fighting it. I'm glad you are feeling better, and belated happy birthday.

The Xmas season continues to be a roller coaster but I am mainlining peroni 0.0 when my DP has a drink in the evening and have some just about OK fake fizz in the fridge too when the occasion requires it - something that looks like champagne in a champagne glass at least.

Most of all - I am feeling the feelings - this is really very hard right now. i am very worried about one of my DCs. my DP has gone emotionally AWOL. If I was drinking, it would be so much worse. And I am love love loving going to bed sober and my refreshed sober mornings.

glad to see you @Wantofeelgood - that is a great reframing!

thanks so much everyone for being here on the thread - is a life saver right now.

Day 34

Hoping your root canal went ok @OfDragonsDeep and that you aren't in too much pain x

Popped on for reassurance and two wonderful posts!
'Still dreaming of champagne but I guess I always will'. Is lovely. It’s a poem in itself. Should be a song, or a line from a Scott Fitzgerald book.
glad you are feeling a bit better wendy and thanks for the blip explanation.
living sorry you are having dc and awol DH challenges. That’s pretty much what’s happening here, has an impact in so many areas of your life.
thank you for the comment on reframing! Trying very hard to think kindly about me, and what’s happening. Thinking kindly really helps.
yes the thread is a lifesaver.
day 34! So impressed. Hat is in the air!n

hey all, just dropping by to wish you all a good sober season. My last few weeks have been hard due to family health issues. But I am still here and no doubt coping better than I would have on the booze. 2 years of therapy have also come into play too! Feb 2024 will see me at 2 years sober and I am not giving that up for anyone!!!

@livingalivelife thanks, it’s fine, didn’t seem much worse than a regular filling.

Still not feeling particularly christmassy, but the kids are excited and it’s easy to get caught up with them.

The last couple of days have been harder drinking wise as everyone seems to be drinking everywhere, but I carry on and am on day 39

Woh respect to you both. Amazingly brill.

Morning all.
Good to see you @Fortheloveofgodwhy. Sorry to hear about the health issues. Hope you have a good Christmas despite all that.

I have Covid so am fed up. Last time I had Covid I also had a vile hangover - at least I don’t have to worry about that making me feel worse!

Thanks @Onewildandpreciouslife, I hope you feel better soon

Sorry to hear about Covid @Onewildandpreciouslife and Christmas blues @OfDragonsDeep .

Party last night where I hit the AF fizz. Going to friends tomorrow for a longstanding annual catch up which has always been a piss up. Feels like everyone is swilling in booze. I have therapy too @Fortheloveofgodwhy and it helped me to stop. i realised it was crazy to be spending money to think about how i feel on the one hand, and stopping myself feeling stuff with alcohol on the other hand!

keep at it @Wantofeelgood . i've had so many false starts. I've reached a point where i KNOW this time needs to be the last one but it's taken a long long time and many day 1s. not complacent at all. day 36.

Really struggling today and losing sight of why I've chosen to stop drinking. Just as felt was getting easier. Nozecco in the fridge, will open that soon if feelings don't subside and hope it helps. Stressful day finishing work, getting organised and fighting old habits.

Morning all.
I have managed to get downstairs unaided. Very poorly lads.
I am thinking I may have to do plan B on the turkey dinner. Turkey crown and get the kids to carve it etc
I fell out of the bed. However I used to do that a fair bit when I was a boozer! I've had some meds and am waiting for my hands to unfurl. Loads of booze has come into the house but I couldnt drink it if you paid me. Weird though the DH hasn't hidden it. Last year I think it was in the garage incase I lapsed. The year before I was quaffing it.
@Fortheloveofgodwhy sorry I haven't been in touch. Subject to another bonkers employer.
January for the cooked breakfast if you are free.
On a great skinflint note I am wearing knickers from years ago that were too small. Four stone down now.
Have a good Christmas Saturday.

Gosh wendy sounds like you have a lot on. Well done for all you’ve achieved, that’s amazing.
kate you can do it! The benefits of being hangsiety free soooo outweigh the ethanol! It’s used as industrial cleaner ffs.!
thanks living that’s very encouraging. Day 36! Wow.
hope you feel better soon onewild
and a hearty encouraging cheer to everyone !
DD legged it this time last year. So I am really struggling, and concerned to keep DS 15 spirits up. He missies he is sister, we all,do.

Sending strength to you all @WendyWagon @Kate489 @Onewildandpreciouslife @Wantofeelgood . All I can offer is that alcohol wouldn’t help. Thinking of you all.

dfil’s death was registered on Wednesday and the certificates came through shortly afterwards. It somehow feels easier now the first critical bit of admin is done. We get a few days off now, before travelling for the funeral in the new year. One day at a time. Staying clear of alcohol ok, just making sure that I always have an AF drink to hand when dh has a glass of wine. I am looking forward to my AF Christmas cake and Christmas pudding.

How are you @Kate489 ? sounds really tough. I hope that the craving passed, you woke up sober remembering how AMAZING that feels and that today is easier.
@WendyWagon the RA sounds so painful and debilitating. Your good humour in the face of everything inspires me. I'm glad that you're at least feeling the benefit of not drinking so clearly.
@Wantofeelgood i am very sorry about DD. I can only imagine how tough that must be for you and your DS, especially at Christmas.

Last night was the annual friends' get together which has undone me in the past even when i've been managing o be AF. I had a VERY tough moment at the start of the evening - closest I have come to caving - but it passed, and I soon started to enjoy myself much more than if I had been drinking. Taking it day by day, hour by hour, sometiems minute by minute in the season of good will and booze everywhere. Day 37.

Xpost @Blackberryblossom i imagine not easy with the funeral coming up after xmas. well done on staying strong. xx

Hello everyone! And happy Christmas. Just wanted to pop in and wave hello. It’s my 4th sober Christmas this year. I love sober Christmas! I’m still sober, still well. Not on Mumsnet much anymore but still think of the lovely people on this thread. Hope you’re all well x

Hey @BunniesBunniesBunnies ! Lovely to see you. Glad to hear you’re well.

I’d forgotten the “bored out of my brain at the in-laws” trigger. Must buy chocolate for tomorrow night!

Well done to everyone getting through this one day at a time. @WendyWagon sorry to hear you are unwell, hope the RA eases up for you.

Two Christmas drinks parties down so far- they were ok. I did find them hard and didn’t hang around for long. It was good to see people. I just feel a bit flat and ‘unfun’. I need to remember that it was very unfun going out for one drink and staying out all evening instead and writing off the next day.

This is my fist sober xmas- I am not a huge xmas fan and it reminds me very much of people I love who are not here. However I am extremely grateful for my 3 dc ,and for a peaceful Christmas and my lovely friends. Plus there is always the reminder that it can’t be worse than last year, where I had just found out about ExDh’s latest affair and was hosting his family from Australia- that was fun 😂 😱 I am very grateful to be happily divorced.