The continuing support thread for living alcohol free, every day. Everyone welcome.

[Blackberryblossom]

Hello, and welcome to the alcohol-free support thread. The original thread was started about three years ago by drybird.

We’re a broad community who have all chosen to live alcohol free for good. Whatever your reasons, whatever you’re going through, someone here will have been there too. People here will have done that first sober holiday, first sober Christmas/birthday/work do/wedding/funeral, first AF night out with the drinking friends, first (and 2nd and 3rd…) AF Friday night/Sunday lunch, first day 31/day 101, first lapse. Don’t be shy about posting, we love all the successes of whatever shape and size and we have all been there too when things go wrong.

If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quit altogether then maybe have a look at the long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board? Lots of support there too.

Brew yourself a and come on in!

@OfDragonsDeep i really recommend vouch to 5k, the first 3-4 weeks are mainly walking with short intervals of running which gradually increase. I have done it 3 or 4 times and found it an effective and gentle way to get into running and increase fitness.

C25K is amazing. It builds you up slowly. I ran a 5 mile race yesterday, managed it in (just) under an hour, running the whole thing. Looking back to when I started C25K it seems unreal how much I struggled even running for 1 minute. Don't get me wrong - it's not easy but I do get such a sense of accomplishment when I've finished (even if I've hated every second of the actual run).

I did the first run! Well I followed the instructions 😂 I managed the minute running for all but one of the sections. I did just over 3km in the 30 mins. Will try again on Weds/Thurs.

@MyGhastIsFlabbered thats amazing, well done!

Another day of no wine done 👍

Morning all.
I am up in the night for a tinkle and got out of bed on my own for the first time in four days. I've had rheumatic fever. I've eaten nowt.
Lots of time to think and I really don't care if I get a redundancy in January. I must have 'mug' stamped on my forehead. No thoughts of booze, this time last year I was getting very upset at all the booze adverts. Now I think, how much?
No drink policy at work now Toxic is in charge, so no risk.
I must get to Asda as they have the best af fizz.
Have a good day lads.

Hello, can I join in? I'm trying to stop altogether after years of embarrassing drunken situations...such as last Saturday where I ruined the evening by being totally out of control and embarrassing myself and everyone around me. Struggling with the shame actually but it's sort of pushing me on to quit for good this time. Managed a few months last year alcohol free, so I know I can do it and I felt great, but fell back into old habits around last Christmas.

@geoffman welcome 😊

my sobriety has been spurred on by incidents which left me feeling ashamed and motivated me to try to pack it all in.
well done for taking this step.

Welcome @geoffman and hello @threeandmeandthedog me too - I was fed up of being constantly ashamed of and embarassed by my behaviour when I'd been drinking and how it was affecting my relationships. @geoffman i hope that you find that this is a welcoming and non-judgmental thread as I have done. It's helping me to stay accountable a great deal. Well done on taking the step of joining the thread.
My challenge is not taking my eye off the ball. I can hear the Wine Witch (as Clare Pooley calls her) tapping on my shoulder constantly, telling me I can moderate, have one glass etc etc. All total bollocks. tonight, eg, looks like it should be OK, but when my DP comes home after a stressful day and pours himself a glass of wine, I could so easily forget everything I've achieved and be overwhlemed by feeling that one won't hurt.
Running again (i used to run alot and now not at all) sounds like an excellent plan.
@WendyWagon interested about Asda NA fizz - what's it like? Am glad you are in less pain now.
Day 19.

Just checking in. A challenging day here but I coped without alcohol. This would never have happened before. And it ain’t going to happen again either!

welcome @geoffman and all the very best with the first few days. It sounds like you have plenty of motivation, and the better memories of being AF before.

congratulations @OfDragonsDeep that’s brilliant! I’ve done c25k a couple of times, and managed to carry on running until catching covid both times.

Good to hear from you @wendywagon I am also interested in the Asda AF fizz. Remember to keep looking after yourself despite all the work shenanigans.

Well done @Blackberryblossom - I can't remember how long AF you are?

And well done @OfDragonsDeep on getting going with the couch to 5k. I should join you! Which version are you using?

Gosh you are all amazing and a real inspiration. Thank you,
im done day15!
blooming heck!

@livingalivelife the best fizz I found was Asda sparkling Sav Blanc. Better than Noseco.

Second day out of bed on my own but I have an old duffers loo seat courtesy of the husband! Saucy me, not! The joy of sickness and in health. Mind you he loved a drunk like me and I was the queen of the embarrassing incident@geoffman . Vets on here will know of the infamous spankz flashing.
When I have this new drug I hope to be on long walks again. This pain is blinking hard to deal with.
I have managed to eat yesterday and although the champers ads make me howl I can't do this all again. 23 months on Friday and not a serious fight with anyone since giving up the grog.

Welcome @geoffman I only joined here a couple of weeks ago. It’s nice to have a group of people who understand.

Went out for lunch yesterday and had water and a cup of tea! Think it’s probably my only pub visit (bar pregnancy or breakfast) where I have not had alcohol. I do need to try some alternative soft drinks. It was absolutely fine!

I just downloaded the C25K app that said something like supported by the BBC/NHS. I had Jo Whiley talking while I did it. Will try again either later today or tomorrow.

@WendyWagon Hope your feeling better soon 🤞

Day 24 today.

I always had Jo Whiley when I did C25K. It's honestly amazing how quickly it gets easier. W5R3 is particularly daunting but when you get there you'll be able to do it! I need another race to enter

Thanks for the warm welcome everyone. Still reeling a little from my behaviour at the weekend and had a shit day at work, but instead of picking up wine on the way home (my usual response to crappy day at work) I've chosen some AF drinks and am happy with that. Big challenge for me will be the gatherings over Christmas and coping with socialising. I'm not very good at it so I usually drink to cope. Or maybe it's the other way round? Not sure. Anyway one day at a time. Thanks for the support.

Evening all.
I had our team Christmas lunch today - I was the only one not drinking. I didn’t miss it at all, which is progress compared with last year when I was quite twitchy. But blimey the wine smelled strong!

Welcome @geoffman. I would say just go into socialising with an open mind - it may be easier than you think. I used to use alcohol to bridge the gap between the real me and how I thought I should be. But I’d been doing that since I was 18. It turns out that the mid 50s me is a lot more confident than 18 year old me- who’d have thought?! And I am now more relaxed when I socialise- I don’t need to constantly monitor whether I am being too drunk, too loud, too much. It’s liberating

Evening,
I tried peroni alcohol free this week @geoffman and I thought it was great - maybe even better than becks blue. Good luck with socialising. There are some really great tips for socialising on the thread. I like knowing that I can slip away earlyish without doing the rounds of goodbyes and no one will notice - they'll all be too pissed ... Also give yourself permission NOT to go to things in the early days. Whatever it takes - not drinking is your priority at the moment! And it is amazing going to be bed sober, sleeping soundly and waking up feeling fresh.

Well done on day 24 @OfDragonsDeep and day 15 @Wantofeelgood . I'm inbetween you on day 20 - nearly three weeks. Am enjoying a new sober me unfolding.

@Onewildandpreciouslife I was thinking about this the other day. When I started drinking regularly I had bad anxiety and stressful job etc. It was totally normal to go to the pub each lunchtime and drink. Now it’s almost 20 years later and I thought I’ve always had the same anxiety, but I’m not the same person I was back then. I have a calmer job and a family. I thought I needed to drink to reduce that anxiety, but I don’t and it just makes it worse.

Good evening,
Day 21 - 3 weeks !
Checking in. Being AF is continuing to help me through an extremely difficult period of work and personal strain. If i had been drinking I wouldn't have faced what is happening, made it a lot worse and been a lot more anxious to boot.
Looking forward to supporting each other through the Xmas season. I know I'm going to need it and look forward to helping others too.

Gosh well done all.
this is a great phrase living ‘Am enjoying a new sober me unfolding.’
that sums it up. Unfortunately I’ve drank some ethanol tonight. I blame..crappy conversation, being hungry and tired. But also I just felt stretched thinner and thinner, like glass. It was like I couldn’t believe I was achieving this so I let the ball drop so to speak. Has anyone else done this and got any tips?
im aware it wasn’t so nice and made me depressed and emotional, afte one teeny glass. Don’t feel great now tbh.
DH has bought loads of ethanol with gold bloody awards. Not helpful. But actually not very nice. And all that money to poison yourself.

Ah it’s a blip @Wantofeelgood - park it and move on. Don’t let it undo all the learning from the past couple of weeks. Be kind to yourself, drink plenty of water and keep going.

Well done on hitting 3 weeks @livingalivelife !

@Wantofeelgood dont give up! One slip up doesn’t take away from what you’ve achieved already. It must be so hard with a DH drinking wine too.

@Wantofeelgood don't give up! And don't be hard on yourself about a blip. Look what you have achieved - it's amazing! It is REALLY hard when your DP drinks as @OfDragonsDeep says, and mine buys posh wine too. tonight being Friday night is going to be harder than weekdays - let's do it together. I think you joined the thread a couple of days after I did and you're my sober buddy! Can you give yourself a treat? Face mask, get your nails done, take away - whatever floats your boat ....

Hello everyone, I hope this will be the community I need. I am a long time poster but have changed my username for the moment.

Last night was my work Christmas party. Despite telling myself I would moderate, I did not and got pretty drunk on wine, vodka and cocktails. They were all appearing at the table and I work in sales, so it's a very drink heavy culture. I feel so disgusted with myself. I didn't do anything bad but I did feel out of control and now the anxiety today is just making me feel even worse.

I am 41 and my mum also (I think) has an issue with alcohol. Normally drinking every night. Could it be something that is genetic? I don't want to end up like her. I don't have a great relationship with her anyway.

I'm going for a walk now to clear my head but any advice or wise words would be great. I'm so sad and disappointed in myself that I can't moderate. I am in a stable relationship with let's and have a good job (we don't have kids) and I have good friends and the rest of my family are great too. I just can't seem to handle my drink anymore, I'm sure I used to drink more when I was younger and not feel like I want to walk into the sea the next day!

I have read Catherine Gray's book, Glorious Rock Bottom, Jason Vale's alcohol free book, Annie Grace 30 Day Sober experiment - all a few years ago. It's seems it's something I clearly want to do but keep coming back to it. What's wrong with me? Why can't I just quit and accept I can't moderate?

Hello @wannabedry - I’m glad you’ve come on board! The alcohol will be making you feel shit, so try not to be too hard on yourself. Unfortunately, society tells us that “everyone” drinks, it’s expected, “everyone else” can handle it and moderate - and it is all lies. So many people will be feeling exactly like you this morning, but you’ve actually done something about it, by coming on here, so you’re a step ahead.

There’s nothing “wrong” with you - you’ve been drinking an addictive, toxic substance that everyone tells you is fun.

Can you make a plan for this evening- something nice and low key? Just take it a day at a time