How to do your first alcohol free night?

[Lau8877]

Hi everyone.
I've been drinking too much for around 4 years. I've not had a night free of alcohol for that amount of time. Some nights aren't too bad, half a bottle of wine. Some nights are really bad like recently where I've been 2 /3bottles .
Im ready to quit, sick of feeling sh*t, gained weight, causing real problems in my relationship.
My question is, if anyone has experience, how the hell do I do the first night? I have actual anxiety thinking about there being nothing in the house. Which made me realise, I'm using it to help with worry/stress anxiety more than I thought. It's not a pleasure anymore, it's a need for my brain to quiet down. So the idea of there being nothing in the house if I have a 'panic' really worries me. I clearly don't have the ability to regulate my mental health anymore which I used to be able to do well, and have spoiled myself with all this drinking.
I know people might feel like saying I'll have liver damage and stuff but please don't haha, I have serious health anxiety (probably why I started drinking, ironic), and think it would send me over the edge to read it.
Thanks so much in advance xx

Ordinarily one would cut down day by day, so if you're drinking a bottle a night cut down by a half glass or so, per day, until you're weaned off. In your case I would contact a professional for advice: doctor, nurse, midwife etc.

https://joinclubsoda.com/hub/how-to-stop-drinking-when-pregnant/#:~:text=Most%20people%20can%20get%20to,the%20right%20decisions%20for%20you.

Did you test positive then?

None of us will be able to give you medical advice. You will need to see a doctor or a midwife as a matter of urgency if you are pregnant.

I still haven't done the test, im too scared of the next steps. How do i just stop after all this time. My partner is being very unsupportive, just saying it's pathetic and what is wrong with me. I understand why but I'm feeling really overwhelmed. And if I was, I'm not going to be able to get a gp appointment for probably a week. What am I supposed to do in that time

Book the GP appointment immediately as pregnant or not, you should be asking to be linked to alcohol support services. You need to get some real life support in place. I'm sorry your partner isn't helping, but you must help yourself first.

As a HCP I have already told you that you need professional intervention but you have not taken that advice yet.

Thanks for the responses. I am in contact with a psychologist who works with people with alcohol issues. So I am seeking advice and support from her. A gp isn't going to send me off to a rehabilitation centre, I'm sure they would just tell me what I already know which is I need to reduce gradually which is what psychologist has told me. I just haven't taken the leap yet and not sure what it'll take to make me do it.
Partner has left today and said not to contact until I'm 'alcohol free'. He thinks it's ridiculous that I would need to taper off as I'm not drinking all day/getting drunk on an evening. He sees it as just a pleasurable thing that I like to do and don't want to stop. I've tried to tell him all the advice I've had is not to stop cold turkey. He thinks it's ludicrous and that the therapist is a charlatan who just wants more money and that he could 'throttle her for putting the idea in my head that I can't just stop completely and abruptly.

You can self refer to drug and alcohol services. You don’t need to see a gp, that’s just procrastination.

They’re LA funded, not NHS. They have their own medics.

How much ARE you drinking a day? Honestly? It sounds like you don't really want to stop. It's so much easier to not drink than to drink. But you won't discover that unless you stop. This thread has been going on and on. I think you need to decide if you want to stop. But your drinking will get much worse if you carry on. And I tell you that from experience. Save yourself the horror.

Thanks for the reply.
I don't feel the thread has gone on and on as you say. I came and posted here for support and I'm still struggling to make the first step. How much am I drinking, I said around 2 bottles a night. I feel the responses changed when I said I have ocd. I'm not a weird person, I'm the same as you. I'm just struggling to find the motivation to stop and I need help, I know that. I don't know why you're saying its gone on and on, that's not nice. I'm just trying to find the strength from like-minded people to make the change.

Hi, I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you. But please, if your partner has already left, don't do nothing. Denial is a huge issue in addiction. Go to AA. I will talk to you if you need help. Message me any time. Don't let it ruin everything. It will if you do nothing. Everyone is rooting for you. Stand up to it.

@Lau8877 while I do agree with the advice of gradual reduction (as I say, I have worked with people who have alcohol withdrawal) if you think you are pregnant then you do need a GP input. The councillor is all well and good but she will not be medically trained in the physical repurcussions for you or your child.

I would strongly suggest, you take a test. Your partner has already gone so what else do you have to lose?

If positive, then it's GP. If negative then you need to contact GP surgery for self-referral info to the local addiction support, unless you already have the details.

Thank you, appreciate the advice. Probably just being over sensitive. I'm not pregnant, started yesterday. Relieved, its not the right time for me. I need to get this under control.
I'm going to try tonight to have my dinner early, get ready for bed and just go to my bedroom. The trigger is sitting infront of the TV in the living room. Boredom and habit.
Thanks again, I'll let yous know if I succeed Xx

@Lau8877 I think the non pregnancy is a good thing currently being totally honest but if it's something you want in the future then it's something to remember as motivation.

Please get yourself in contact with the local wellbeing and support groups via your GP surgery. It really will help.

How are you doing OP? Did you manage to get things under control?

Hey Pacific. No absolutely not, I'm in another hell spiral. 3 days now I've been ill/hungover then trying to drink through being ill, which is obviously just making it worse.
I've spent fortunes on uber Eats to get wine delivered so I don't have to leave the house. Not good..
Thank you for checking in xx

Sorry to hear. How are things with your partner?

Can you call someone? A sibling or good friend? You need help OP as I don't think you are going to be able to do this on your own. But you urgently need to get some support to stop drinking like this

Sorry to hear you're not doing good @Lau8877 You'll get through this difficult spell.

I've been there myself with the deliveroo and Ubereats deliveries. Sometimes several in one night. It's expensive and I always end up buying something else I don't need or want, like some fish fingers, so it looks like I don't just want the wine (which of course I do).

What season of Grey's Anatomy are you on now? 😀

Omg I do the exact same! Today I have an iceberg lettuce, a magnum (I don't particularly like ice cream) and a packet of fajitas 😂. Ridiculous.
I'm on series 19 now, caught up haha. Definitely not as good as the older series.
Yes, I am half way through Allen Carr control alcohol audiobook and despite not doing well at the moment a lot of it is sinking in. I'm looking at alcohol differently. How are you? And everyone else doing? Xx

I gave up alcohol early 40s; after drinking around bottle of wine a night (sometimes more) for years…..

I spent the first 2-3 weeks obsessively reading ‘sobriety’ literature. I found that really helped. There is a book called ‘the unexpected joy of being sober’ (Catherine Gray) which really resonated. (I read it using a kindle so no one could see what I was reading). I also wrote down how I felt every night; really helpful to look back on. And kept an informal tally of how much money I was saving!

….. I drank a lot of alcohol free beer…., doesn’t help everyone, but it worked for me. I found if I could get to 8pm without a drink the urge went.

Good luck - you’ll never regret it!

💪

Wow, well done for kicking this horrible thing. How did you find it? Quitting?
Yes I plan to read more after this, thanks for the recommendation.
Did you (or anyone else who managed) have bad sickness nausea in the mornings? I hate being sick and get terrified it'll spiral into me being hospitalised (good old health anxiety). I can't bear it. And I've had it the last few days which has made me drink more, when it should be less. Because I can't bear or tolerate the feeling sick and anxiety that I'm suddenly going to be whisked off to hospital. I have been getting to like hyperventilating levels of panic, no wonder I'm throwing up. But it's such a vicious circle. My partner really helped me this morning, talked me down. Not that he condones my drinking, far from it. But I don't know how much of this is psychological with me (the vomiting). I ruminate all day about it and basically tell myself I'll be sick in the morning, then it happens, then I go around the sh*tty circle again. X

That's funny that you bought something you don't even like 😂 I've been thinking about reading/listening to the Allan Carr book. Good that you feel its sinking in 🤞

I'm ok thanks. I was six days sober but slipped up yesterday, which i massively regret. I went out socialising when I wasn't ready to be around alcohol. But back on the wagon today and feeling positive that I can do a bit longer. I feel good about not drinking at the moment, whereas in the past I start feeling miserable and resentful. Hoping this continues. X

Aww sorry that your anxiety is at the level it is. I read that after writing my post. It sounds awful. I've suffered from panic attacks and health anxiety.

Maybe the nausea in the morning is caused by gastritis. You could try taking milk of magnesium.

Really hope you feel better soon. Xxx