How to do your first alcohol free night?

[Lau8877]

Hi everyone.
I've been drinking too much for around 4 years. I've not had a night free of alcohol for that amount of time. Some nights aren't too bad, half a bottle of wine. Some nights are really bad like recently where I've been 2 /3bottles .
Im ready to quit, sick of feeling sh*t, gained weight, causing real problems in my relationship.
My question is, if anyone has experience, how the hell do I do the first night? I have actual anxiety thinking about there being nothing in the house. Which made me realise, I'm using it to help with worry/stress anxiety more than I thought. It's not a pleasure anymore, it's a need for my brain to quiet down. So the idea of there being nothing in the house if I have a 'panic' really worries me. I clearly don't have the ability to regulate my mental health anymore which I used to be able to do well, and have spoiled myself with all this drinking.
I know people might feel like saying I'll have liver damage and stuff but please don't haha, I have serious health anxiety (probably why I started drinking, ironic), and think it would send me over the edge to read it.
Thanks so much in advance xx

keep reading your quit lit and it will explain how the drinking is causing the anxiety it gets the credit for resolving

living room at night/tv was a big trigger for me so I just had to sit in another room for the first few weeks and no tv

can you go to bed now?

What you are going through OP so many of us have been there. You can be free of this, you really can. Don’t give up trying. Think about AA, read books, listen to podcasts. Remove yourself from your triggers. The shame and guilt is just the worst and you deserve to live a pure and honest life free from it. You’re worth it OP keep going

Thank you too old. I could go to bed but I just don't when I'm like this. I put it off because I'm scared of what tomorrow will bring. So I'm happy in my little world until the morning. So ridiculous. How did you do your first night?

I think for your first night you need to have. No bottles in the house, and some painkillers for withdrawal headaches and good show to binge on and some chocolate.
Alternatively could a change of scene work like going to a friends or parents to stay the night or a retreat hotel (one without a minibar etc) like the glass house retreat, so your normal
At home triggers aren't there.

I also think you should speak to your gp for referral to professionals.

Good luck op realising you need to make a change is the hardest step xx

I think you also need to get into the mindset of 'the first night will be hard but I've done hard things before'
Think of pain or difficult things you've endured and how you got through that.

You absolutely can't have any booze in the house

I was unwell I had a rotten cold and so decided to make that my day one. I don’t really remember what I did that first night but most other nights in the early weeks involved sitting in the kitchen doing a jigsaw puzzle or going to my bed to read quit lit.

And also (and I don’t mean this to sound harsh) if you really want to stop you’re going to have to do something different. Drinking and watching TV because you always do. Not going to bed because you never do. Nothing will change if you don’t change anything. No one is saying it is easy but as PP said human beings can do hard things. Not that I am an expert but it sounds to me like you’re at the stage of wanting to stop but not at the stage of being able to motivate yourself to make a change. That’s OK. Just don’t give up x

Go to a meeting - they often go on until 8.30 then stay for a chat with a woman afterwards (they should grab you, as a newcomer, to see if you've got any questions etc) so then that's 9.00.

Hell, if it's near a late night coffee shop one of the women should be happy to go with you for more of a chat.

Then go home, and go straight upstairs. Don't go in the kitchen. Don't turn the telly on. Just go straight upstairs to bed. Read.

Get in lots of sweets or chocolate as your body will crave the sugar as much as the booze so eat sweets and read until you feel tired.

AA say "it's one day at a time" but you can break it down into one hour at a time or even 10 minutes at a time if you have to. Just think I'm not going to drink for the next hour.

Online sober blogs helped me too. I started a blog also and used that to document how I was feeling. I tried AA but didn't really find it that useful. The sober community was an amazing tool that I found invaluable. I'm now 8 years sober. I think you can do this OP but not on your own.

I find the CBD infused drinks are helping.
I usually have a glass a night but it crept up to 2 and then 3. So no more week day drinking. Aiming for 4 dry days a week and minimum alcohol at weekend. I managed it last week and I have been getting my alcohol levels down since the beginning on the month. Routine helps.
But yup, trip drinks are good for that relaxed buzz, and then straight to bed.
Reading these groups help too because when you have succeeded a dry night, you feel empowered to do it again.
I can get to 10pm without thinking about a drink and then I need that relaxation and chill time before sleeping.

Respectfully, you need professional help.

Oh @Lau8877 , Grey's Anatomy has like a million episodes 😂Maybe it's time to schedule in your own season break and try another programme for a bit, shake the routine up.

My first night off drinking usually involves changing my day a bit. But it's all about forward planning too. I literally write down what I want to do that day and when. I'll plan and buy in a nice soft drink (love love ginger beer, and when mixed with pineapple juice it becomes a very special treat!). I schedule some exercise in my day and reading time. I also recommend I Am Sober, a community of like-minded people (not unlike this forum I guess, but with a push notice function to check in daily). I got into that from watching Drag Race as some of the Queen's have addiction issues.

I haven't made any radical changes to my life...yet, but I feel like I'm on the right path. Sounds like you are waking up to the idea that things could be better, which itself is a powerful thing. Some of the posters have achieved so much and I aspire to that. In the meantime, taking small progress as a win.

Hope you haven't been too anxious today 💗

One tip I read was when you wake up in the morning, full of remorse, write down all the reasons not to drink today. Then when witching hour comes, go back to it.

Diazepam and edibles, the diazepam helps with the DTs' and the edibles help with the craving, but I still have to work at it. I have the try dry app, helps motivate me, plus I can see how many units/ drinks I've drunk, plus the cost etc. I'm fortunate that I have a small amount of diazepam prescribed every 8 weeks, for nerve damage/ spinal and lumbar spine trauma, I have enough "saved" for detoxing from alcohol - first day was 2 x 5mg, probably should've been nearer to 15-20mg really, I didn't sleep for 30 hours.

Currently I'm trying to not drink at home at all and only go out socialising and drinking twice a week. until a couple of weeks ago I've drunk every day since the pandemic (around 20th March 2020). I am a hardcore alcoholic, best I've managed since 1987, in one spell, was 27 months completely alcohol free and tbh that was more about not smoking than avoiding beer.

https://alcoholchange.org.uk/help-and-support/managing-your-drinking/dry-january/get-involved/the-dry-january-app

I didn’t do this but it sounds a plan.

For me one of the worst things was that moment where I woke , and for a moment all seemed well in my world. Until the crashing realisation hit I’d drank heavily again the night before and the shame, guilt, loneliness and despair.

the days in early sobriety waking up and realising I hadn’t drank were so amazing. It was a great feeling and never gets old

@Lau8877 how have you faired this eve?

Thank you so much for the replies.
Yes Greys has an obscene amount of episodes haha. Not great when you're trying to do other things.
Today has been a lot better for me. I didn't have anything until 9pm. I've kept busy. But I've still had wine since then. I'm going to try capitalise on this tomorrow and push it to 10pm.
Writing down the dread thoughts in the morning and first half of the day sounds a good idea. I was also thinking of doing a pros and cons and sticking it on the fridge with a picture of me pre wine obsession.
I need to try find a soft drink that I really like, like your ginger beer cocktail.
Anxiety has definitely been lower today and I hope for more of the same tomorrow.
I just struggle with the evening routine. To add another layer to the cake I do have OCD. I'm a checker, at night time specially. So the whole wine thing has fallen into my whole 'process' on an evening, making it even harder.
I promise I'm not a lunatic! Just have a few issues with anxiety/ocd, which the drinking helps short term but definitely not long term. Xx

What's the latest @Lau8877 ?

How you doing @Lau8877

Still drinking a bottle and a bit. But I'm out of the anxiety hell hole, at least for now.
I do have another situation.
My period is 6 days late. Since coming off the pull in February they've been pretty bang on, usually start between 6-8th of the month. So say if I am. I'd be elated. And I'd never drink pregnant. But, what if I have withdrawal? What do doctors recommend? Thiamine?
I'm probably not considering the state my insides must be in from all the drinking. But if I am. X

Haha the pill! Not the pull, I am not on the pull x

Are you going to do a test?
When I drank heavily in the past I had a few late periods.
You say you would be elated - keep that in mind when the urge kicks in.

@Lau8877 one thing to watch for is driving in the mornings. I have lost my licence because of this.
I have now stopped drinking for over a year. Trying to plan life around public transport when you live rurally is not fun and I have certainly learnt my lesson.

I'm going to do a test tomorrow if nothing happens. I'll be 9 days late tomorrow.
I truly don't know how I'll cope. I'll be happy, but it'll be the first time in my life I won't be allowed to rely on alcohol when I'm feeling anxious. Which I'm sure will be in abundance if I am pregnant.

Sorry to be a pest, does anyone have any experience of this. If I was pregnant, how do I just suddenly stop drinking. I'm scared