How to do your first alcohol free night?

[Lau8877]

Hi everyone.
I've been drinking too much for around 4 years. I've not had a night free of alcohol for that amount of time. Some nights aren't too bad, half a bottle of wine. Some nights are really bad like recently where I've been 2 /3bottles .
Im ready to quit, sick of feeling sh*t, gained weight, causing real problems in my relationship.
My question is, if anyone has experience, how the hell do I do the first night? I have actual anxiety thinking about there being nothing in the house. Which made me realise, I'm using it to help with worry/stress anxiety more than I thought. It's not a pleasure anymore, it's a need for my brain to quiet down. So the idea of there being nothing in the house if I have a 'panic' really worries me. I clearly don't have the ability to regulate my mental health anymore which I used to be able to do well, and have spoiled myself with all this drinking.
I know people might feel like saying I'll have liver damage and stuff but please don't haha, I have serious health anxiety (probably why I started drinking, ironic), and think it would send me over the edge to read it.
Thanks so much in advance xx

I really don’t mean to frighten you OP but it can be dangerous to stop drinking if you’re dependent, can cause seizures.

you should engage with your local drug and alcohol service. Google it, there will be one. The GP won’t help, it’s the local authoritys remit, not the nhs. They can prescribe meds as well as advise on reducing safely.

don’t try and do it alone.

Was that the alcohol talking late last night? 😉 I'm
AA and it REALLY helps. Find a meeting and sit down and just listen. You don't have to introduce yourself or speak. Sit where you like and just relax. Then go home and you will be pleased you have gone. Rinse and repeat.

I go to AA rather

Hahaa yes maybe a touch of the wine talking. I am open to it, I wonder if I'm still in the 'you're not that bad' phase. When I know I definitely am.
I'm going to struggle tomorrow. Today has not been a good day alcohol wise

Well, not just alcohol wise. Anything wise. It has been a shit shitty day.

I was like you just over year ago. My drinking had spiralled out of control. I thought it was making my anxiety better but it just made it worse.
I have now been alcohol free for over a year. The first month was hard. It was August, I was so used to opening a beer when I got home from work.
I got into a routine of making a cup of tea when I got home instead. Then I found I could concentrate on making something nice to eat as because of the drinking I was often skipping dinner as I live alone. I’ve really expanded my cooking skills 😃
if I really felt like a drink I would have an AF beer or gin and tonic.
Take it one day at a time, I tried a few times before I succeeded. There’s an app called I am sober where you can log your days and the forums are very supportive.
There are also plenty of books out there.
I haven’t used AA - I did contact them, but didn’t like the communication that I received back from them.
I have some new hobbies now too - one I wouldn’t be doing if I was still drinking because I would be too hungover to do it.
Going out when everyone else is drinking is fine these days. I have been to concerts and a wine festival this summer and I have no FOMO. I’m still as daft as I was but I remember it.
Plus sex is so much better sober too 😊

Have some nice highish sugar drinks available, ice and lemon and all the trimmings, make plans to do something that feels good for you as well - whatever that is. when I’ve stopped previously I’ve gone to bed really early the first couple of weeks. Do talk to your GP though - I get prescribed something for the anxiety sometimes that really helps.

Been AF for nearly two years. You can do this. I know you said you only read a few chapters but I highly recommend this naked mind. I had been trying to stop or “cut down” (which is nigh on impossible by the way) for years until I read that book and I haven’t looked back. Keep going OP this will transform your life for the better.

How are you doing today @Lau8877 ? I've had many panicky hangovers and I know how horrible it is. I think unless you go to the GP for something to help you with this it will be a lot harder. ❤ Have you tried writing down in a journal your feelings when you wake or get anxiety? I think you can do this, and keeping a record to look back on will be really good for you. My friend was drinking similar to you and she had her first AF night last night (I think). She drinks those trip cbd drinks aswell. You've got this, and we're all rooting for you 💪💐

Thanks so much for the replies.
I had a panicky morning again, was restless from about 4am.
So I'm trying to do better today, cut down. I've bought some white claws and wil try to stick to those (I did buy wine again but I'll try not to have it).
Lovely to hear you're into cooking as a new thing! I love cooking too, that's gone by the wayside with drinking. I'd like to get back into it. Interesting comment about better sex! I feel like my libido has nose dived the past couple of years alongside my new unhealthy lifestyle. Probably why my partner wants me to stop so much haha.
Journal is a great idea. The whole thing of me drinking is to try stop my anxiety escalating so would be good to pin point what's setting me off/why. Xx

The whole thing of me drinking is to try stop my anxiety escalating so would be good to pin point what's setting me off/why.

Drinking fuels the anxiety. It feels good at first. I found once I stopped drinking it was easier to pinpoint where the anxiety came from. The anxiety has reduced a lot. I had some traumas earlier this year, including a bad illness and I got through it all without touching a drop.
It was a good feeling and I’ve dealt with the traumas much better than I have in the past.

OP I'm heartbroken for you reading your post from yesterday. I'm so sorry you're struggling like this.
You seem a bit better today, hope it lasts.
Have you tried CBD oils for your anxiety? I found it good when my anxiety was particularly bad.
Can you ask your GP for some sleeping pills? Even just a few to get you through the first few days. I was able to get a prescription over the phone.
I don't have much else to offer that others haven't already suggested but keeping super busy and occupied in the evening time is the only thing that works for me. AF or fancy drinks just made me crave wine even more I sought any activity I could to fill my evenings - Late gym classes, cinema dates with me literally sitting on my hands initially just itching to get the hell out, making plans to visit my mum or friends at like 8pm so as it's almost 10 by the time I get home and off license would be closed. Leave debit card at home where possible so as I cannot buy wine which really helped.
The urge does pass in the evenings and I promise you, the feeling of relief and joy in the mornings when you've managed to not drink is just amazing.

You can do it!!! Stay strong x

One think you do need to try and avoid is telling yourself that you drink because you are anxious when it's more likely that you drink because you have an alcohol problem (no judgement, I'm the one in AA). If you are addicted, you will tell yourself ANYTHING so that you can carry on. You need to have a good look at the issue and be really tough on yourself.

Thanks so much for the responses.
I have been a bit better but still been drinking. And I've now gone into buying a spare bottle incase I can't cope with the anxiety when I wake up. Haven't done that for a long long time.
I think gp for sleeping pills is probably a good idea but I've had them in the past and made me feel a bit out of it the next day so I stopped.
I keep thinking ok, you'll feel better tomorrow, then you can take charge of this when it's not overwhelming. But I'm just putting myself into a vicious cycle. My friends would be mind blown I was doing all of this. I'd never tell them.
Thank you again for your kind and helpful replies xx

Your anxiety will be worse because of the alcohol. The gut bacteria that flourishes with daily alcohol intake produce enzymes that exacerbate those feelings.

Hi there - you do need to acknowledge that the anxiety when you wake up is actually withdrawal anxiety. Can you see that if you remove the alcohol altogether the anxiety will ease. You'd be far better stopping drinking and seeing the doctor about any residual anxiety. And try AA. I think you are drinking because you need to at this stage. It's what happens when you become alcohol dependent through over drinking. Don't tell yourself you drink because you are anxious. You drink because you drink too much and your body craves more as a result. This is not to make you feel bad - it's just how it works physically. It's physical dependence. You are stuck on a hamster wheel. X

Oh @Lau8877 I could have written your first post myself. I saw it the other day while cursing myself for drinking. Then I drank on Thursday and Friday too. I'm home alone tonight and decided I'm not going to buy wine but I'm starting to crave it already because I know there's none in the house.

Have you tried maybe getting out of the house in the evening and going for a nice walk somewhere peaceful like the beach or the forest? The beach at nighttime is lovely and soothing. Sometimes when I'm feeling anxious I take off to these places and it helps settle my nerves and stops me reaching for the bottle.

I felt the same as you when drinking - the anxiety was crazy and the whole world felt terrifying. I told myself it was my problems (financial etc) that made the world terrifying (and caused me to drink). But once I'd stopped drinking everything felt manageable. I had low days, but nothing like the extreme anxiety from before. Laying awake in the middle of the night heart pounding with fear. Waking up heart pounding with fear. That all went.

When I wake up now from a decent sleep - no long night wakings with heart pounding out of my chest, and no crippling anxiety on waking - I wonder how I ever put up with that torture of feeling terrified, for years on end.

The first 24 hours you'll feel really anxious and out of sorts. I 2nd having a big dinner in the evening. Buy a big bag of Hariono or something to give a sugar hit that your body will be missing in the evening. Find something good to watch on to they you'll actually remember watching for a change.

It helped me to see the wine like my abusive ex - masquerading as being something beneficial in my life when actually it was holding me back massively, stopping me be the person I wanted to be, controlling me, making my life hell, ruining the quality of my family's life. Don't let it have the satisfaction of making you less, when you can be so much more.

When I stopped drinking, weight dropped off me (without even trying), my face changed, my sleep changed, my house got cleaner, the kids seemed happier, and I started valuing myself for the first time in ages.

I was drinking 1-2 bottles a day for years - couldn't even contemplate a single night off the wine. You can do it.

I haven’t read the full thread and not had same challenge but when i did want to stop i found it easy with Alan Carr’s book. Read it fully before you try to stop though, it seems very insistent on that. It’s slightly annoying to read but so good honestly it makes you not want to drink anymore and takes the battle away somehow

👍👍❤️

Thank yous so much for replying.
Really helps to know you did this Rachael and got over it. I'm in that same place now, like why am I doing this, full blown panic attacks in the mornings. I've even had to call work off sick cos I've been so bad. I know what the catalyst is. I went to Manchester with my friends end of August for basically a piss up weekend, and my anxiety levels didn't recover. So I've been on the ropes since then. Friends all fine, I need to learn I'm not the same as them and won't bounce back after a heavy weekend. And the sugar thing, that's a point! Am I gonna have serious blood sugar drops? I haven't stopped tonight, it's still not the night apparently.
I have been out for walks, I've got a little dog so I have to haha, but not very far if I'm honest last few days.
I'm going to try again tomorrow. Hamster wheel indeed, absolute nightmare.

I managed a night without alcohol. I had a serious itch earlier this evening where I was going to take one of DH's beers and sit in the garden. I decided to start preparing dinner early instead. Made a lovely Thai curry and by the time I was finished, the feeling had passed. The only downside is that I need to learn how to sleep without alcohol making me pass out.

I think you need some professional help, maybe even rehab. You are dependent on alcohol. It is not that easy to just stop. Your anxiety is out of control because your drinking is out of control. Once you've weaned yourself alcohol, for a good few weeks, maybe months, then is the time to judge whether or not you have an anxiety problem.

Thanks. My anxiety issues were diagnosed long before alcohol started, I first saw a psychologist when I was 18 because of health anxiety and agoraphobia, which I kicked with CBT. Started again with anxiety issues when about 25, sorted it again. Then most recently 5 years or so ago after losing my dad/finishing my degree and a few other factors. I know I have anxiety, I've used alcohol as a helping hand through bad times. But it's now spiralled, and I just want to get it back to moderation. Only drinking when I see my friends on a weekend. I don't think I'd want to fully abstain. And I know it's possible if I can just retrain my thinking out of 'alcohol will help you through this feeling'. If that makes sense X