On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Can't believe the last thread has already filled up!

Thank you to all of you for the incredible support shown in the last thread especially @amdone123.

Everyone is welcome! This is a safe, non judgmental space.

Sorry about my inability to tag everyone but if others can that would be great!

@wellitywellness it is a brave step, so good for you. I found it inspiring - let's do this !

Hi there, checking back in for a dry January. I overdid it last night and have been nursing a monster hangover today, which will be a good motivator to get me through. I've joined a dry Jan thread in chat too.

@Amdone123 Its not easy is it. Was the depression related to the alcohol do you think?

@Touty I think so, yes. Overdoing it, saying or doing stupid things, anxiety mainly. When I'm not drinking, I'm overall really positive and happy. I'm going to try harder to do dry Jan. I make too many excuses. It's my niece's birthday for example, we'll probably go for a curry - but I was just thinking it doesn't mean I have to drink. I have abstained before so I can do it.

Well, day 1 done. Main positive was I didn't spend any money !
My sister visited - not seen her for 2 weeks, as she's been ill. I was praying she didn't bring me wine ( she usually does). I don't normally tell people I'm doing dry Jan or whatever, but I think I might this time.
If they roll their eyes, so be it. I know by telling them, they won't buy / give me alcohol !

Good to did this thread. No booze for me this year!

Hi all, not posted on this thread for a while. I'm back, holding myself accountable and have decided to do dry January this year I've joined a DJ thread too.
I'm sick of the sluggish feeling and having no energy to do things. Today is day 2 and I already feel better for not drinking last night.
Think a username change is in order though

Morning all!!!!
welcome back @Hohofortherobbers @CrackersCheeseAndWinePlease and hi @wellitywellness and @Atacamadesert

Sorry to hear you’re feeling low @Touty, as @Amdone123 has said it’s something a few of us have experienced. I found I’d have terrible bouts of anxiety when not moderating, hangziety was particularly bad, but also when I’ve abstained for long periods, or after a lots of regular drinking I can feel flat and low. Others have said this is due to having sit with feelings and not have the booze as a buffer. So just remember what your feeling is normal, and this too shall past. Please keep sharing with us. Always here to listen!!!!!

@Amdone123 im the same…. Always reluctant to tell others but actually if it helps lessen temptation then it’s so worth it!!!!

How’s everyone doing!? @Swannyb @Coppergate7 @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Monstercarp @Mytribeof3 @Needtokickthehabit @Determineddoris @Nowstrong hope I Diddnt miss anyone!

so I’m day 8 here and feeling really positive!!! Thought it was 7 but Christmas Day was the last time I drank!!! No desire to drink, but I’m in reset mode and it always feels somewhat easier at this point… my real test will be the weekend….
so AF#7 feeling connected and capable

Heres to a good day everyone!!!

Morning all, a crap night's sleep here too - but offset with relief that I'm not yet climbing the walls here or coming down with the shakes...

Day 2#'s blog post offering here - a bit of a reflective one today, but will try to lighten up a bit as time goes on!

https://wellitywellness.com/2024/01/02/dry-january-2-i-am-not-my-ex/

AF#1 I need and want to lose weight (which definitely means ditching alcohol most days)

I'm going back to my hometown later (and staying overnight). Meal out with brother planned. The plan is very much for this to be AF.

I've really got to learn how to properly relax and enjoy myself without alcohol. Last night was pretty easy to be AF but yet again I sunk into time wasting - watched multiple episodes of the new netflix series 'fool me once' whilst scrolling MN - over did both of these things.

Thinking of getting a big 2024 diary to record my progress in this (and all the other related things I want to change)...the wall planner has fallen by the wayside!

@Coppergate7 your wall planner was great, but a Big Book might be better - something different. I sometimes tick off on a wall planner, sometimes I buy a new journal. Funnily enough, I was wondering this morning which to do. I think I'll do the journal - I like writing in it and often read it back.
I need to learn how to relax without it. I sometimes have a bath, plan lots of self care or even walk - I leave money at home.
@wellitywellnessI'll read it later. Love being reflective, my sister said I think too much. Not sure that's possible !
@Mj20 day 8 is brilliant, you go girl !

I'm up, after finally sleeping properly - awake at 4am ish but thats not unusual.
Face finally looks normal - no longer looking like Jim Carrey.

Happy New Year!!!
Just got back in from cleaning my car, inside and out. Am frozen but pleased with myself. Did a big cupboard clean out during the New Year weekend, made some space, clears my head too.
Feeling very positive, even if the scales groaned slightly this morning when I delicately stepped on them. Have put on a little bit of weight. But nothing too alarming when I think of all the food and wine that I allowed myself.
Now it's back to being serious again. Exercise, hydration (the non alcoholic form) and a sensible diet (most of the time, no one is perfect).
I haven't made any resolutions because I never keep them. I'm searching around on the web about how to develop a few good habits to make all this easier.
Got my precious sleep back. Feeling very positive that the Xmas period is over and done with for another year. Hopefully next year I might be even more AF than this year. No resolutions, just hope. Will check the blog out too.
Sending positive vibes to all. Stay Strong and Sober. X

Morning - into day 4 for me, finally had a good night's sleep! My shifts have landed well this year for giving me a good week as a head start, I'm not off until Sunday now and it's never particularly stressful as we get a bit of a "lull" at this time of year typically.
I have also ordered a planner which is due to arrive on Thursday (I was a bit late thinking I might actually need one) and hoping my good intentions of actually using it last longer than a month this year - although even a month or two of productivity should hopefully set me up well!

I have been drinking lots of water and eating healthily - mainly trying to get a good balanced variety of nutrients in - I don't think I look any less haggard yet but here's hoping a few more days of this will make a difference.

Day 2 done ✔️

@Mj20 @Amdone123 @Coppergate7 & anyone else joining us for dry Jan. How are you feeling?

I’ve announced it to a few people now so I have to stick at it! My friends husband has even said he now won’t drink before I do.

@Swannyb I'm feeling good. Day 2 here, I've got loads done this morning - I know this wouldn't happen if I were hungover.
I really want to see this January run through and not give up. I know I feel so much better af.
One day at a time - as for most people, weekend is challenging. But.....I'm sure we can do it !

Feeling fine thank you @Swannyb , although perhaps slightly concerned about this evening and the meal out...

I'm angsting about what diary/planner/journal to buy now @Amdone123 ! Decided to just use what I've got - I think - found a journal I started for similar purposes end of sept/start of oct. Think just pick that one up again. We'll see. I suppose I could start my wall chart again too...

Ok here we go i drink way to much like up to half a litre a vodka a day! its disgusting! Its really starting to negatively affect me, I've started to get very short tempered and moody, I don't sleep properly and i feel like crap all the time! I often need a drink to get over the hangover from the night before and it needs to stop! I know i cant just stop dead as it would be dangerous, so I'm looking to reduce massively and keep cutting down until I'm not drinking! I'm thinking 4-6 is a good number to start on, so that's what i am aiming for today, I'm going to push it out as late as i can, hoping for after 5pm rather than 3 or 2 or 7am , then drink them slowly rather than downing one after the other after the other. But I've told myself this before and after the first one passes my lips it all goes to shit. I do feel differently this time though like i actually need to do it rather than i just should.

You can do this @mickandrorty - if you believe that plan will work then just do today. Then tomorrow do tomorrow. Keep posting.

if you’re all in chirpy moods I’d not read on because frankly I’m a depressing shackle to anyone right now. Usually DJ means I’m a miserable moose anyway, but I’ve got so much else to be miserable about and wallow in, I might as well just immerse myself. My DD has some significant MH issues and is on an autism diagnosis pathway at the moment. My whole world is changing in terms of what I thought was ahead of us, for her, for us as a couple, and a family. I’m starting to worry she won’t be able to ever cope living independently and that I’ll be having to be an active parent with worry for her, for the rest of my days.

Tomorrow is also the anniversary of a very close relatives death. This is the first anniversary. It’s basically just shit. And I have a loft full of her stuff I really need to sort and deal with but not sure I can.

some other things too, work stress, some other things, and on a superficial level this biblical rain isn’t helping either. I can’t remember the last time I left the house which probably isn’t helping things.

Just getting through the day. I know I won’t drink. But I’m not a happy bunny!

Also - anyone else just feeling really low? Is it January Blues? Booze? Lack of booze? Some sort of detox? My sleep is ruined. If I don’t drink I just lie there thinking ‘I can’t sleep’ ‘I WON’T be able to sleep’ - I’ve done it all - Epsom baths, sprays, pulse point oils, sleep hygiene routines, no blue lights etc etc I just lie there with one thing or other going round and round.

tips?

@Mykittensmittens wow, you've got a lot going on there. Would it help to tackle each problem/ issue individually. I tend to write stuff down. If there's something I can do about it, I do it but if it's beyond my control, I try to let it go.
But seeing it written down helps me. So, 2 columns, whats bothering / upsetting / annoying you. 2nd column, what can you do about it ?
It's good at least that you know for today you won't drink.
I can't help regarding the non sleep as I'm the opposite. Would seeing the doctor help ? Though, if I struggle like you say - things going round n round, that's where writing it down helps me.
@mickandrorty hi and welcome on board. It sounds like you have a plan there, so carry that out this evening and see how you go on.
Keep posting - good and not so good - we all experience the same problem one way or another.
Is it vodka and tonic you drink ?
I suppose you've tried diluting it further ?
( not a vodka drinker, here ! )

@Coppergate7 I've now decided I'm doing both. In my journal, I write my aims ( af, eat properly, do some exercise, etc) and on my wall I tick it, so at the end of the week, I can see the overall picture.
Sorted ✅

Hi everyone, thanks to whoever tagged me a while back. I drank way too much over Christmas (not Christmas Day itself as I was driving but the surrounding season) so am reaffirming my commitment to moderation this year. Doing Dry January which I always quite enjoy. We do have a fancy meal out booked (was my Christmas present, going to a restaurant I’ve always wanted to visit) but the focus will be on the food so I plan to drive and drink water.

Welcome to the newcomers and a big wave to @Amdone123 and all the other old hands!

@Amdone123 Thank You! I drink it with fizzy water as i cant drink any thing with sweeteners or sugar in it, but i just down it. I made it to 4 which isn't ideal but I have had been drinking it slowly normally the 1st 4 or so go down in half an hour i probably would have had around 6 by now i have had 2.

@mickandrorty you're welcome.
Well, that's progress already. Baby steps.
Do you eat when you're drinking?

@afaloren hi !
That's good that you enjoy Dry January. I'm going to try but I'm already wobbling. Not for tonight but thinking about weekend etc. Self doubt, I suppose.
I drank too much around Christmas too. Actually, felt bloody terrible, so must keep that in mind.

The idea of not drinking for a month is actually a relief to me, yesterday's monster hangover is very fresh in my mind. I'd like alcohol to take up less of my head space generally. I must think about alcohol every couple of hours, not in a 'want a drink' way but more of an association, what am I doing this evening... Not drinking... What am doing this weekend... Not drinking...in a shop... id normally pick up a bottle of wine whilst I'm here... Open cupboard... Notice wine glasses. Most people can't be as preoccupied with alcohol like this. I'm fine today with being AF, I know Friday will be a hurdle to get over. Wish this anxiety would lessen though, maybe it's still withdrawal after overdoing it nye, I feel quite panicky