It's day 1! Anyone else?

[Thepeppapigfanclub]

I'm 45. I've been drinking a bottle/bottle and a half a night for as long as I can remember with the odd dry January/ Stoptober along the way - but I always end up back on the wine again.

I'm a parent to a 13 year old and the shame that comes with this is crippling. It's not good and I know I HAVE GOT to stop. I am sick of the self-loathing, the fear, the anxiety and the money down the drain. Most of all, I'm worried about shuffling of this mortal coil leaving my child before I should.

So it's day one (again) for me. I just wondered if anybody else has picked this as their day one too for some support.

Any tips for the first week?

Many thanks - there's some seriously inspirational people on here reading some of the other threads - I'm in awe of all of those who've made it to six months, a year and beyond. It feels beyond my grasp.

Another one here who was tested last night on a social event but enjoyed the night with no drink.

Sneakily, when it was over and I was going home the wine witch said it would be lovely to top the night off with some wine..... I was like what are you talking about?! I'm going home to bed!

I thought today would be testing but I have dd's fluey/coldy viral bug. I don't think alcohol will tempt me but getting set to make the house decent for guests. BAH!

Knocking back the Robitussin instead!

Yes @excitedemmi - kick that witch into touch!

Thanks @Awayinthewindow , it’s fab having a circle here cheering you on. Sorry @SpringNotSprung that you are feeling crap, I suppose every cloud has a silver lining if it’s driving you to the robitussin!

I have just done a really great workout (I really recommend cardio and weights, if you’re remotely into all that stuff) and whilst I haven’t weighed myself, I am very definitely down on where I was but, more importantly, feeling smugly fist pumpy about it. Also long walks are really great too. My drink choices tonight are kombucha (never tried before) or spicy ginger beer.

@TimesaChangeling I had my first Kombucha this evening and loved it - have ordered some more and think that this could well be my 'treat' drink rather than the AF lager I've been having.

I have to get back to weights next week - I love HIIT with weights and need to carve out the time to do it - I am worth it

Wow everyone’s doing amazingly, keep going. It’s not easy, esp at the weekends! I’m distracting myself by working on my appearance - very shallow yes but it’s proved to be a great distraction from drinking! Still get that urge around 6/7pm but once it gets later I’ve been putting the kettle on like a saddo! Still feel no support from DH who thinks not drinking is futile and he’s still drinking away. His choice of course but annoying not to say- oh that’s great, good for you, keep going etc! 🤦🏼‍♀️

@MissSmith80 which Kombucha did you have? I am fed up of the AF lager. @Cloudsclouds6 i am finding I am taking much more care about how I look too! I think it stems partly from taking my make up off and moisturising every night!

@BoilingHotand50something I picked up 2 cans of 'Willy's' apple flavour from the co-op. After extensive research, I've ordered a box from River Cottage. I winced when I saw the price but realised that I've already saved more than twice the price of the box, delivered, from not buying wine every day.

Thank you! May investigate.

The kombucha sounds interesting. I shall investigate.

I was persuaded last night to try an English Red. I probably had 175ml. It was alright but nothing to write home about. The bouquet was incredible but the taste didn't follow through. Probably a good thing. I did 103 days. Back on the wagon.

I might have eaten a bigger meal than usual yesterday but am horrified that the scales were up by 2.5lb this morning.

DH is unloading the dishwasher, he has brought me two cups of tea in bed. Any minute now, he'll call me to lower the top shelf to get the glasses in. The world's least practical man.

@SpringNotSprung i think you must have the same DH as me!

Last weekend was my first dry weekend for at least a year and so I breezed it because it felt novel. I've realised this week that it isn't the taste of wine that I miss, it's having a drink that's a treat so the mission to find AF lovely drinks has begun. Last night started really well with Kombucha and tonight I have discovered AF Pomegranate Mojito - mint, lime juice, ice, pomegranate juice and lemonade. It was amazing and full of antioxidants! The perfect Christmas drink because of the red/green - I even did the sugar/lime rim of the glass so it looked frosty.

I wanted to share because I think are few of us are in the same boat. AF negroni is on the list for next weekend.

@MissSmith80 thanks for sharing the Pomegranate Mojito recipe, that sounds lovely.

I have successfully navigated my first sober weekend in over six months, now on day 4. I treated myself to a bottle of Zerosecco from Aldi earlier, as I’m so accustomed to having a glass (or 6) of wine whilst preparing Sunday lunch for the family. This was always my favourite drink of the weekend, so I’m really happy I have managed to cook up a treat and stay AF.

My sleep is still really poor, I keep waking up multiple times during the night. And I have a bit of a sore head tonight. Think an early night is in order.

Hope you have all had a great, and sober weekend.

This is such a struggle. Don't get me wrong there have been easy days but overall its really really hard. I'm reaching out for anything I can read, watch etc and one thing that struck me is the number of people saying we'll I wasn't an alcoholic, I didn't have alcohol abuse disorder... and I think that's the fault of whoever wants to keep us drinking and the general drinking society stigmatising it and othering it so that we continue drinking thinking its normal and we're not like "them". The question we should be asking is who is making this poison taste really appealing and marketing it to us relentlessly then shaming us for having a problem.

Whatever words you use, I have a problem. The problem is bigger than alcohol but alcohol fuels it. Secrecy, lying, not being true to myself, hiding from life. I hope I can overcome it all.
Day 7 here and recovery feels very fragile.

Sorry just to add I didn't mean anyone on here saying that although it's totally fine if you do or think that. I'm not ready to use those words but I know there's no difference between my behaviour and thar.

Ah @Awayinthewindow ages ago on the thread we chatted about the marketisation and socialisation of alcohol. Some of us are from boozy families where alcohol was totally normalised. Some of us recognise the advertising, the glamour, the TV shows where the central characters have a drink at the kitchen island or down the pub in the soaps. The wine fridge, the vineyard to cellar deliveries, the greetings cards, "Keep Calm and Drink Gin".

We are surrounded by all of that and 14 units equals 6 x 175ml glasses of wine. It's all a bit of a joke.

Stay strong. >>unmnetty hugs<<

Sorry you are struggling @Awayinthewindow

One of the books I've read said that everyone who drinks is on the scale of having a problem with alcohol - it does nothing for us so no-one drinking does it for the health benefits. At one end are the people who have an occasional drink and at the other those who we consider as being alcoholics. Of course there are lots of factors to account for where an individual is on the scale. At the time, it resonated as I've probably moved up and down that scale a few times but ultimately always in the net direction of an increasingly problematic relationship and it's got to the stage where the only option is for me to become a 'non-drinker'. I'm not ready to use any other language than having an unhealthy relationship with alcohol but where that becomes alcoholism - I don't know.

Ah so many posts are resonating! Yes it’s exactly that - marketed so well and then Shame us for having too much.

I have just realised I stay in way too much! need to get out on more walks and exercise. All I do is a Zumba class! We have a business office attached to our house and I’ve formed a ridiculous crush on one of the workers there! It’s keeping me distracted from alc but really?! What am I thinking?!!

Plus DH has polished off nearly whole bottle of Prosecco!!

@SpringNotSprung completely. Sorry to be repeating. Same here re family, wider circle influences etc
I have felt really horrified about the drinking culture and actual society initiations at universities almost forcing young people into drinking dangerous amounts for some time. I'm seeing now all the marketing targeted at women, mothers, 9-5 workers etc etc. Really needs to go the same way as tobacco advertising and tobacco sales. And I say that as a smoker.
Alcohol is such a massive killer. I see it in my job and it hurts me because it feels like the powers that be are against us. Push and push and entice people to drink knowing what we know and then blaming the population for the health impact which was always inevitable.

I think I'm trying to say while I take accountability and I need to take more, I don't believe we are flawed any more than any human, I don't believe we are to blame. 100% only we can make the change for us and I don't blame or explain away my drinking on trauma I've experienced or things done to me. BUT the government and alcohol companies for sure need to be held to account for their part.
People will drink if they want to drink, I still smoke even though there are a load of warnings on rhe packet, no advertising and you have to go to a special counter to get it but it makes a difference to how prevalent it is in society, how people view it, how likely young people are to get into it etc etc.

Sorry, its helpful to talk about.
On another note, really keen to find local sober or sober curious friends, ideally a group, just to go for coffee or something. Any ideas where to find one?

Everyone here can repeat as much as they wish, as much as is helpful and we all have different takes on things depending on our mood and what happened yesterday or something we heard about.

There will come a time, soon, when we need a new thread and we'll say it all over again.

Hi all hope you are all well
just catching up on the thread as I took a bit of time out on social media the news etc
still af which was tough this week as had a very close family friend’s funeral 5 th one in 7 months I drove so not tempted to drink

What you said really resonated with me @Awayinthewindow .

I have bought this book below and just started it; another to add to my large collection of quit lit. Yesterday I was on the bus and listening to two young men (probably late 20s early 30s) very loudly talking about the night before. It involved 9 pints of beer watching 'the game' before one of them tried to pick up his little boys for contact- and ended up with him kicking his former girlfriend's door in and spending the night in the police station.

I felt so sad. For everyone involved and it is easy ti imagine that the alcohol is the major cause of every part of that story (and history) where things went wrong.

Yet drinking is adult and sophisticated we are told by the marketers. I think the day will come when advertising it does go the way of smoking... not for a while yet though.

I am sorry for your loss @Spendysis . Well done for not drinking.

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/734150/soberish-by-kayla-lyons/

I had a good break this weekend and I experienced that joy people talk about. I really felt it in my bones and being. I'm genuinely excited for the future.

I feel ready to graduate from this thread. Not because I don't want to hang around and encourage everybody on this journey. It's just that I feel it's the only thing that keeps reminding me of drinking. I've got to a place now where I have zero cravings and have no interest in alcohol what so ever and it seems silly for me to continue focusing on it and still holding it as part of my identity. It would be insincere.

If anything I hope my journey can prove to you all going AF is possible. My journey started at 35. I'm now early 40s. I've been where you are, I've done the bumpy journey and it is not linear.

I'm wishing you all the very best in your journeys and thank you so much to @Thepeppapigfanclub for starting this thread. It was the thread I needed to get me over the line. We don't know where you are and I genuinely hope you are still alive and well, even if drunk... I'm sure if you came back to this thread you will get the welcome back you deserve.

I will most definitely check back into this thread, when I see the Spring bulbs in bloom, for the catch up. 🌾