It's day 1! Anyone else?

[Thepeppapigfanclub]

I'm 45. I've been drinking a bottle/bottle and a half a night for as long as I can remember with the odd dry January/ Stoptober along the way - but I always end up back on the wine again.

I'm a parent to a 13 year old and the shame that comes with this is crippling. It's not good and I know I HAVE GOT to stop. I am sick of the self-loathing, the fear, the anxiety and the money down the drain. Most of all, I'm worried about shuffling of this mortal coil leaving my child before I should.

So it's day one (again) for me. I just wondered if anybody else has picked this as their day one too for some support.

Any tips for the first week?

Many thanks - there's some seriously inspirational people on here reading some of the other threads - I'm in awe of all of those who've made it to six months, a year and beyond. It feels beyond my grasp.

@MamaGhina fair enough. I have definitely done something similar in the past to manage my drinking rather than go tee-total. One NY resolution in my 30's was to only be sick with booze three times in a year!!! The year after that I did nearly a year off. Then this time round I genuinely feel like the towel has been thrown completely in on alcohol, but who knows. I'm a slipper, I slip easily back into it. I suppose it is down to having firm boundaries with alcohol, but if alcohol was a person it would be a cad and bounder.

Welcome @Adsy1988 and @Awayinthewindow i hope you find this thread supportive. Would you like to introduce/share a bit more about yourselves?

Thanks @Yocal

I’ve always had a bad relationship with alcohol, I have ruined friendships, relationships, really lucky to still have my job when I think of some of the states I have been in the night before through drink.

I turned 35 this year and I have had enough. I know that I can never have alcohol in my life, one drink too many and 99 not enough. I want to change my life. I managed to go nearly one month in March this year AF, and I genuinely felt brilliant, my sleep was the best it has been in years, my diet was so much better, but I got complacent and thought just drink on the weekend. Yeah it was never just the weekend. I’ve had a couple of dry spells between then and now, but only lasting for a few days each time. I know if I continue to drink it will eventually kill me, I don’t want that.

Thank you for welcoming me to the thread!

You're very welcome. 35 was around the age I first decided alcohol was no good for me. I hope you find this thread useful on your journey as having AF buddies, even if anonymously online, is better than doing it alone.

Is today your day one? I think you said earlier it was going to be Thursday?

Yes, this is my day one. I had a couple of glasses of wine last night, as I have been gradually reducing my alcohol content this week so as to not shock my body going cold turkey. It has to be today, I’m already in the mindset that my life is going to start today.

I found the previous threads a great comfort earlier in the year, but I just got too complacent. I now accept that I’ll never have a normal relationship with alcohol. And I’m actually OK with that.

@Adsy1988 Hi! I'm day 7 today and our stories sound quite similar. I read Allen Carr's book how to stop drinking easily for women and although a bit repetitive, has been amazing at helping me realise that I can't rely on willpower (to not drink at all or to stop at 1/2 on the weekend etc), I have to be a non drinker and be grateful that I am free - I now control alcohol (by not drinking it) rather than it controlling me.

I realise it makes me sound a bit crazy to be so clear only a week after my last drink but right here, right now, that is the way I think and I am sure I will never drink again.

Thanks @Yocal. I'm also mid thirties, I've had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol since school. Stopped drinking in uni for over a year which was when I'd just got on antidepressants, had professional mental health help and was in a job I loved now I think about it. Lots of cutting right back and creeping back up over the last almost 20 years.
I'm autistic diagnosed a few years ago and massively routine.. driven? Not really driven but I find solace in exact routine. Best opportunity for me to change a habit has always been a house move, but not this time.
Anyway same old, drinking crept up to scary levels during the pandemic and all that went along with it. Last 2-3 years I've been drinking about 60 units a week. I've had enough. I'm afraid.
I'm on day 4.

Day 2 here. Sleep was difficult to come by and stay for any length of time, although I knew this would be the case.

I have a small gig tonight with some friends, I used to really fear these sorts of social events when I decided in March this year to stop drinking, but I’m really not interested in the slightest to have a drink.

Hope everyone has a great Friday.

Good morning all and welcome to those who have joined us at the start of their journeys. Good luck and warm wishes.

Having seen mention of 60 units above, just going to note the terrific liver scare I had in the summer having drunkn 30/35 units pw albeit for 20 years steadily. Liver function tests were taken in relation to something else and were out. It was terrifying as I was sent for an urgent ultrasound and fibroscan. A very very mildly fatty liver was ultimately diagnosed, probably due to being fat, and then rocketing cholesterol identified.

However, I did lots of reading and liver disease is very scary, manifesting without symptoms and then bang, it's too late. Not only are you all worth it; your livers are worth it too. I am sorry if I am being a bit evangelical about this but it was scary time.

Anyhow, that apart one of the LFT's is out of sync again. The one that can also relate to bone and I take strong meds for my bones due to osteoporosis and it may be linked to that but I've now been referred for a bone isotope scan to rule out Pagets disease - at least it will provide a baseline for arthritis. Happily on dietary changes alone, my cholesterol is now normal!!! (Three months of no sat/trans fat, wheat or sugar, the latter cuts out alcohol). Presently 19.5lb down, and feeling fantastic so this further wonky blood is an absolute ball-ache.

Saturday will be a test. DH has invited the lads and their wives (our besties of 35 years) for dinner, and the rugby, and drinks, and the rugby, on Saturday. The lads are pretty hard drinking when together so Saturday will be a test. Will I won't I on day 103; will a glass of good red matter much? Is it worth it?

Working from home this morning. Off this afternoon to start the big tidy-up.

Morning all. I was out last night, I did drink. I had decided earlier in the week that I would.

It’s good to catch up on the thread this morning and welcome to the new joiners. @SpringNotSprung I really enjoy hearing about your progress and the huge changes you have made to your health. Fingers crossed for you for those remaining tests.

I’m going to really struggle next week. Half term is difficult. Having the kids home is difficult. I’m not feeling great about it. I know I won’t drink this weekend because of last night but I am worried about next week. Just got to keep reminding myself why I need to cut back and how much my body needs this break.

I’m currently at 2/60 (including today). That’s pretty awesome. I’ve said before I don’t imagine myself being dry forever but if I can stop drinking at home and keep it to the occasional evening here and there, I’ll feel like I’m winning.

Morning everyone,

welcome to all the newcomers it’s lovely to have you here. This thread has been my saviour. No judgement and lots of beneficial stories and info. Thanks ladies. My main issue is anxiety atm. I’m at week seven btw. So to put it into context I think this has to be a long haul thing but what’s really helped on this thread is that if you do break and drink then just come here for support and start again. There’s no pressure to not talk about drinking like some other threads would ‘tell people off’ for mentioning having a planned drink. I want to be totally sober as per Alan carrs book (which really resonated), but I also know my culture - inherent with alcohol so maybe I will plan to have one glass of wine at some point or a glass of champ at a wedding. Maybe I won’t bother but the fact I can be honest about it on here makes all the difference and makes me less bothered about even having a drink if that makes any sense?! We are all in it together so lets keep going!!! X

Nicely put @Cloudsclouds6

I'm going to go away this weekend and try have a headspace break from all my goals and messy house.

I'm really going to try put my phone down, get out of my head and enjoy nature and spending time with my family.

Hoping we all get some respite from the rain at somepoint this weekend. 🙏 have a good one. 👍

I'm really struggling today. Could use some ideas of what to do when 6pm rolls around. I'm not thinking clearly.

Could you go for a walk? Binge watch something? Cook a lovely meal from scratch? Do some exercise? Play a game (not sure if you have kids but my teens love to beat their mum at Switch!), have a bath, do some beauty treatments, any hobbies …?

@Awayinthewindow something that had helped me is replicating the ritual of having a drink. For example, some elderflower cordial with sparkling water, or tonic water, in a beautiful glass, with ice a slice and some frozen berries from the freezer. That helped me realise that half the issue was having a glass in my hand and sipping rather than having the same glass but with alcohol.

I appreciate the above is also potentially triggering but it's worth thought if now.

Good luck for the rest now the day and solidarity.

I have just packed up work because I'm having a half day. Ha bloody ha!

Thanks. Pathetically hanging in there. I have both of my go to drinks in the house so wouldn't even need to go anywhere to give in.
How would alcohol enhance this is all I keep thinking. It won't.
That's all I've got at the moment. If I can borrow any of your arguments why not to drink. Feel very much a slave to it right now. I don't want it. My body does.

@Awayinthewindow I also did the pretend glass in the early days. Nice AF drink in a wine glass just to get through the temptation.
Here are some of my top reasons for stopping:

• Fed up of the hangovers which were getting worse and worse
• Tired of thinking about the next drink
• Worried about driving in the morning
• Shit sleep even on the days I was dry

A bonus of stopping is the skin on my face looks so different. Much fresher. Less haggard. Plus it’s worth remembering that alcohol makes that anxious feeling so much worse.

Still hanging in there. Just ordered myself a takeaway.
Thank you.

Play it forward @Awayinthewindow imagine giving in, waking up tomorrow and feeling rough and thinking fuck, I gave up so quickly and feeling disappointed. You don’t have to feel like that. It’s really tricky early on (and later! See below) but you’ve got strength because you want to do this.

I am also really struggling this evening. I was surrounded last night by champers, white, red and port. Just aaaargh all round and I am all glammed up tonight and in the right mood for it all. I haven’t drunk but it’s a bit of a lesson in not putting yourself in temptation’s way.

Welcome to the new joiners on the thread. Sorry to hear about those of you struggling this evening. I’ve found it strange how some evenings I really don’t think about alcohol but then other evenings (just at home, not even out) I find it hard to think about anything else! For me, the playing it forward
approach (which I first read on here) helps me stay firm.

Hope you get your LFT issue resolved soon @SpringNotSprung - I think you have done amazingly to get your cholesterol down, lose weight and stay AF!

Good luck to all for the weekend.

Checking in to see how everyone is. Only just finished work and chores here which helps with the wine witch! Hang on in there people and if anyone isn’t hanging in there, come and chat anyway. No judgement here. We are not the typical Mumsnet brigade of half a glass of champers at Christmas. We get you.

Thanks for those messages of support. I got through it without a drink.
I hope everyone else is faring well!
Today was really challenging, a real physical urge that rational thought wasn't up to defeating. I hope these get less as I move forwards.

Well done! Me too 👊

It was alright once I got past the “it’s none of my business of course you’re an alcoholic” conversation at the beginning

Well done @TimesaChangeling I was rooting for you

Successfully navigated my way through the gig tonight with absolutely zero urges to drink. Very proud given that 90% of the crowd were hammered 😅

Morning all. Hope everyone is well and welcome to everyone new!

It may have been mentioned before on these threads but if you have not already do check out The Sober Cafe on fb. Its a private group with over 35k members around the world and I find it so inspiring when I am feeling down. People sharing their highs and lows and struggles and successes. I love this thread and the fb page!