It's day 1! Anyone else?

[Thepeppapigfanclub]

I'm 45. I've been drinking a bottle/bottle and a half a night for as long as I can remember with the odd dry January/ Stoptober along the way - but I always end up back on the wine again.

I'm a parent to a 13 year old and the shame that comes with this is crippling. It's not good and I know I HAVE GOT to stop. I am sick of the self-loathing, the fear, the anxiety and the money down the drain. Most of all, I'm worried about shuffling of this mortal coil leaving my child before I should.

So it's day one (again) for me. I just wondered if anybody else has picked this as their day one too for some support.

Any tips for the first week?

Many thanks - there's some seriously inspirational people on here reading some of the other threads - I'm in awe of all of those who've made it to six months, a year and beyond. It feels beyond my grasp.

Great news for you @Yocal - stay strong and see you in the spring!

@Thepeppapigfanclub - come back and see us soon.

Thank you @BoilingHotand50something

I might also add. I can't underplay the impact starting HRT a few weeks ago has had. I think starting HRT and already being AF has got me to where I am now. I've been able to stop antidepressants, just like that, it's been that effective and the anxiety/rage that I was using alcohol to cope with has vanished. If you like me might be perimenopausal and using alcohol to cope then you could consider speaking to your GP about HRT. It might make the journey that bit easier and your life so much better. I can not overstate how lifechanging HRT has been for me.

Ooh yes, HRT was a life line for me. My GP wasn't particularly helpful in the mid/late 00's, a time when DH spent more time out of the UK than here, and which coincided with tweenagers. To be fair even the cheapest made me feel better within a few days. However, I saw a gynaecologist a couple of years later - only for a smear because the practice nurse wasn't being let loose on me again (think of a cross between Hattie Jacques in Carry on Matron and Prisoner Cell Block H). He recommended a much gentler regime of tablets and patches which meant a far lower dose and told the GP it was needed. Worth the investment imo. All that money you are saving on booze could be spent on a full Well Woman once over!

All a distant memory for me. Post menopause being old has its benefits: no more hormones, no more headaches, no more periods, no more ovulation, etc. It doesn't mean my pelvic floor isn't still crap (may buy shares in Tena Lady), and I'm not getting older, but the 7th decade has its positives.

Can I join? Day 1 here, I have cut down and am no longer drinking week nights but the weekends are harder and I end up drinking fri, sat and sunday which I would really like to stop. No positives to drinking for me anymore. I have tried to stop many times before so here is hoping this one sticks.

Welcome @SummerScoop - you have found a safe place!

I will be clocking up day 50 on my TryDry app today! Whoop! Not something I thought I could achieve 49 days ago.

Congrats on 50 days @BoilingHotand50something

I must confess that having one mingy glass of not fabulous red on Saturday night, after 103 days made me hanker for a glass yesterday. That was a bit of an eye opener! Perhaps if I have an occasional glass in future it needs to be decent not from an English vineyard to make the twitch worth it. Or perhaps just not.

I am wondering what to do also @SpringNotSprung - we were going to go out to dinner and I was in a bit of a blind panic thinking should I maybe have one decent glass … I can’t imagine never drinking again at this stage. Luckily we didn’t go out in the end. I am still not sure I am going for 100% dry. But for now, I’m staying strong.

Ladies I’m here and dry but my DD is unwell so won’t be coming on to update much, just catching up on the thread. Hope everyone else is doing well.

Sending best wishes @Yocal, thanks for all the advice and support.

Welcome @SummerScoop. I’m currently on 2/62, which feels so good because I was drinking far too much before (mainly at home). I’d be very happy to drink once or twice a month going forwards. That’s my ultimate goal but for now I’m just happy plodding from weekend to weekend trying not to drink.

Congratulations on 50 days @BoilingHotand50something, that’s a fantastic achievement. I’d love another long stretch like that under my belt.

@Thepeppapigfanclub I hope you are ok. It’s been a while since you updated. I’m thinking of you.

@MamaGhina I hope your dd's OK.

Au revoir @Yocal and hope it all goes well.

I am not adding Kombucha to my preferred list!! It was a bit uninspiring. I think Pepsi Max is it for me, with squash at other times (because I am a child that cannot drink just water).

Congrats on your 50 days @BoilingHotand50something that’s fab and you should be v proud.

also well done to the one glass and that was it folk. Also a big achievement.

I hear the point re seeing booze advertised everywhere and the effect it has. I once read a novel where the leading protagonist was a serious vodka drinker. I found myself in a restaurant famed for its vodka shortly after and thought “Ooh, I shall have a vodka sorbet”. It was revolting! I had not thought to stop and think that I didn’t actually like vodka. The cumulative effect of that novel...

I’m now onto day 6. Last night was the first night I have slept reasonably well, which I am so pleased about as it has been rubbish up until then.

I was quite tempted to open a good bottle of wine I was gifted for my birthday last night as I had the house to myself, which is a rare occurrence, however I played it forward to how I would have felt this morning, so glad I did as I’m up and logged on at work already, which would not have happened if I drank the bottle.

Hope everyone is doing well today.

Well done @Adsy1988 - keep going! I am doing ok - half term is usually one of the excuses I use to drink alcohol but I stayed strong yesterday and bought a couple of no alcohol wines to get through the week.

Morning all! Congrats @Adsy1988 !

Good shout on the AF wines @BoilingHotand50something - also having the half term vibes here. I like quite alot of the AF sparkling wines so might do that.

Today I am going to use some of my not-drinking money to buy a new shade of nailpolish. I am starting to feel more interested in my appearance and lifting my game on that score.

Ooh @NewLifeHappyLife any recommendations? I have a bottle of Nozecco but I seem to remember trying it before and not liking it.

Hi everyone and welcome to newcomers. Y for now @Yocal and good luck with continuing AF. I’m nearly at week 8 and need this threat - very grateful for all the posts.

@MamaGhina i hope your DD gets well soon.

I sometimes can’t post as much as i want to. Life is so hectic with little ones. At least I’m not drinking. Still being a bit too attentive with my appearance but I think after years of alc and not thinking about what it does to our skin, I need to take control! There’s so many other things to do rather than drinking in the eve. Trying very hard not to be too down on myself - being in my 40’s and regretting not starting this sooner and feeling like I’ve wasted time 🤦🏼‍♀️

Ah guys. I got to 37 days. Then we went away for the weekend and I couldn't hold out. I had a bottle of wine over 2 evenings (which is pretty good for me). I felt okay about it and was determined to carry on the sober bus.

Well. I went out on a work do last night, was planning not to drink. Someone put a glass of wine in my hand and ........ roll on probably over 1.5 bottles later, staying up chatting shit til 3am, I am hanging. The weekend didn't "fix" my drinking, I haven't changed. I don't moderate or think: hmm that's too much, better stop and go to bed at 10pm.
I likely never will change my drinking habits, unless I stop.

I feel anxious
I feel queasy
I have the dread, the existential dread
I regret things I said/overshared
I am ashamed
I am so tired
I am wishing the day away
I am wondering how I will get through the day
My resting heart rate earlier was 88 where it's normally 55
I feel embarrassed
I look awful
I am paranoid that I stink of wine
I have the self loathing, big time
I am grouchy
I have to add this into my drinking app and I am sad and cross and don't want to
I am in a workshop all day with people and have to try to hold it together. It sucks.

SO LET ME BE A LESSON TO YOU ALL :-(

3 drinking days out of 40. Back onto the sober bus I hop.

We are missing you @Thepeppapigfanclub
Hope your daughter is ok @MamaGhina
Well done on 50 @BoilingHotand50something
Glad you're in a good place @Yocal

@Steppered this stuff is bloody hard. That is why we are here. You have achieved loads already and your experience is very helpful to those of us starting to think - I have come this far, proved I can do it, 1 glass won’t hurt, am sure I can moderate …

Hope you manage to get back on the sober bus with us. But even if you don’t, stay here and chat.

@Cloudsclouds6 don’t waste time on regrets. You are here now. 8 weeks is amazing. I am spending lots of time on make up, had a good haircut and colour, started buying nice clothes - it feels good!

Ah @Steppered don’t feel ashamed. You did something completely natural in the hope that actually things have changed, it doesn’t make you a bad person. It means you are now armed with more helpful knowledge about what is going on. Lots and lots of people do this! And come to the realisation that actually moderation is ridiculously hard and sometimes not achievable and now you know. I am 💯 certain I would be the same.

Hop back on. Just get today under your belt and let the hangxiety go.

@Cloudsclouds6 it’s never too late to make the most of today and the future and to be excited about what it could bring. Worse would be just carrying on doing something you had begun to hate (that may be me projecting).

Hello, checking in for day 3, feeling okay. I've ordered some Alcohol free Tangueray orange gin to hopefully get me through the weekend without wine!
@Steppered I hope you got through the day okay. 37 days alcohol free out of 40 is really good. Try not to be too hard on yourself.

@MamaGhina I hope your dd is feeling better

@Steppered echoing everyone else and saying not to beat yourself up! This is a journey and this is just part of it. Unfortunately!

Thanks so much for the moral support ladies! THANK GOD the working day is over, that was hard work. I am trying to take good points from today .... I am certainly in no hurry to be feeling this way again so hopefully ammunition in my sober toolkit. Also, I hope anyone reading who has been toying with the idea of a drink has been scared off by my existential dread hangover. I've been wishing the day away today and I don't want to live that way. Life is precious.

Hi all, thank you so much for the wishes. DD is ok, on the mend at the moment. She has a medical condition that flares up from time to time. One thing I will say is that there was one night when she called out and I was there like a shot. Quite ashamed to say that there have been times in the past when I haven’t heard her because of the wine and DH has had to get up. Not the end of the world all things considered but it was one of those things I used to beat myself up about. It was nice not to be hearing about it the next morning but being there for her instead.

@Steppered I echo the sentiments of everyone else, well done for getting through the day and definitely reference back to your list of reasons not to open a bottle. I loved the way someone described this journey as ‘not a straight line’ of progress. Pretty much sums up my life but hope that I’m generally moving in the right direction!!

Well done for posting @Steppered I did the same after 35 days last year. Now on 32 and not breaking it for anyone else. It's always other people that trip me up. If I'm on my own I don't drink. If hubby wants a partner or friends don't want to drink alone I cave.