It's day 1! Anyone else?

[Thepeppapigfanclub]

I'm 45. I've been drinking a bottle/bottle and a half a night for as long as I can remember with the odd dry January/ Stoptober along the way - but I always end up back on the wine again.

I'm a parent to a 13 year old and the shame that comes with this is crippling. It's not good and I know I HAVE GOT to stop. I am sick of the self-loathing, the fear, the anxiety and the money down the drain. Most of all, I'm worried about shuffling of this mortal coil leaving my child before I should.

So it's day one (again) for me. I just wondered if anybody else has picked this as their day one too for some support.

Any tips for the first week?

Many thanks - there's some seriously inspirational people on here reading some of the other threads - I'm in awe of all of those who've made it to six months, a year and beyond. It feels beyond my grasp.

Tips for the first few weeks - write down in your phone or somewhere you will look at - all the ways alcohol makes you feel bad and all the reasons you want to stop.

When you crave a drink or forget why you're giving it up. Look back at the reasons you wanted to quit in the first place.

Thank you @IrisBearded That's a great idea.

Hi,
Can i join you please??- i'm on day 1 today, i've tried in the past and keep failing but i need to stop - I can do 2 bottles of wine a night (not every night) or spirits and the anxiety is horrendous on a daytime - i have 2 kids and fed up of them seeing me with the hanxiety every day - will have a look at some of the tips above

Come on board @BackToBasics1808 It's a nightmare isn't it? I am so fed up of the problems alcohol brings. Sick of thinking about drinking. It's got to a point for me that it's damaging my relationships and my health so I really do have no choice.

There's been some great inspiring stories on here and some great advice. It isn't going to be easy but we can help each other and there's lots of encouragement from others who've made it to the other side - look how much happier they are. Good luck for today! I've down loaded one of the apps to track the days and the £££. Maybe that would help?

Thank you!!!
I've managed to cut down in the past but i dont stick to it for long - a stressful day a work, kids driving me potty, its friday etc - any excuse and i use it for relaxing - tell myself i will be back on it again tomorrow but that tomorrow never comes
Which app is it that you have downloaded?

@BackToBasics1808 I know what you mean. I've used alcohol for everything - stress/boredom/anxiety/relaxation/ socialising/ depression - the lot - any excuse at all. Moderation just doesn't work for me because I'm always back to square one, only worse. I've put loads of weight on too in addition to all the other problems.

I've gone for sobriety counter - but there's loads of free ones. Are you going to get yourself something 'nice' in to drink tonight?

I've been trying to lose weight for about a year and nothing has worked - clearly i'm 'drinking' my calorie allowance so am hoping cutting it out will help

I've got some AF nozecco in from the last time i tried to stop (the bottle is rather dusty now) so i'm going to put that in the fridge - from reading some other threads i'm hoping either moving onto AF stuff and / or still drinking out of a 'wine' glass may trick my mind a bit - what are you planning on drinking on a night?
How are you feeling today?

Well done for making this change. One thing to consider for your sleep - it will be a bit tricky for a bit - is if you want to take some sleeping tablets. You don't have to be a hero and sleeping well will give you the boost and positive reinforcement you need. I got some Nytol (the lower dose ones) and halved those, so a very baby dose, but it just helped me sleep a bit better than I would have to start when I really needed to be refreshed.

I'd also recommend trying to find something to fill your days with to make the most of the time and money not spent drinking. I found I suddenly had so much time back. What things do you love doing that you could use that time and money to do instead of drinking it away? I decided to spend more time hiking and wild swimming, which I did already, but made a conscious effort to do more of when I stopped drinking.

I even planned a walking holiday in those first few weeks. I'm 4 months sober now and I'm off on my holiday next month. I can't wait. It's absolutely been the best decision and drinking has no appeal to me at all now. After the first few weeks, I haven't even thought about it again. Do stick with it as I found the first couple months emotionally quite challenging. It may not last so long for you (I was a heavy daily drinker, not a weekend binge drinker), but I was definitely miserable for a time, not because I wasn't drinking, but simply because there were aspects of my life that made me feel miserable (and drinking had been a helpful distraction!). It took some time for that to even out and now I feel fantastic and my mental health is the best its ever been. I've also lost a stone without even trying - I eat a lot of cake and biscuits as been doing a lot of baking.

So even if you hit a slump when it feels rubbish, keep going. Nothing that feels rubbish will be less rubbish a day after drinking! And no one who is long term sober is unhappy that they gave up drinking. For many, it's the best thing the ever did. So just keep plugging away. Well done!

@BackToBasics1808 It's good that you are prepared. Just think - this time next year we'll have lost the weight and rid of this bloody curse. And we won't have to feel guilty with the hanxiety. Haha.

I'm absolutely knackered tbh as last nights 'sleep' was very disturbed. A lot of tossing and turning but given the amount I've been drinking - I was expecting it. I was genuinely worried that it was going to be worse this time. It will take a little while for the sleep (and everything else) to improve.

I'm going to get myself something sparkling to drink for tonight...not sure yet. I need to get my head around the non-alcoholic drinks again. I'm going to go for soft drinks through the week and then maybe some AF beer (Becks Blue?) or AF wine for the 'Friday feeling.

I'm planning on sorting myself out. I just look a mess. I am going to reward myself with some new clothes and a hair cut in a couple of weeks with the money I've saved. (Can't believe how much I've been spending a month on wine and being thrifty everywhere else!)

Are you planning on any sort of entertainment tonight or are you going to obsessively research like me. Haha.

As for AF drinks, I love these and I found they did really help me to create a new routine. I was a wine drinker (a 2-3 bottles a day wine drinker 😳). AF wine is largely shit, though I don't mind nozecco and I like kombucha, which some of the AF wines technically are. I also found that the feel of opening the bottle felt too much like real wine to me, so I don't love it.

I now drink AF beer. I wasn't a beer drinker as too fizzy and could never have more than one or two. But you don't need more than one or two AF beers, and many of them are actually really nice. I also drink kombucha, like I said, or tonic with various things in it sometimes. It's a nice routine that signals the end of the day, but much healthier and also very low in calories too.

Wow @mindutopia. How long ago did you give up? That is an absolutely incredible achievement. You must feel like you can do anything if you could change that. I've never heard of kombucha - I'll look into.

@mindutopia well done you!!! You've done amazing!!! I've never heard of kombucha - is it easy enough to buy in supermarkets etc?

@Thepeppapigfanclub think more research tonight - I like to know as much about something as i can as like to put my all in it - scary though as feel i've been here before and failed so worried tbh

I not the best sleeper anyway as do suffer from insomnia and don't really like to take sleeping tablets as worried if the kids needs me in the night etc - but didn't think twice about using wine to help me relax and fall asleep - i think speaking about it on here and now knowing i'm not the only one will help not keep me accountable as such but more supported

@BackToBasics1808 Yes - it will be another night of 'research' here too - but I have been here many times before too. It's going to be making it stick this time that's going to be the challenge. I'll be here and we can chat.

I must admit it was nice this morning when me first thought was (as it always is) 'How much did you drink last night?' and the answer was 'none'. You never know - maybe you're sleep will improve after a bit? It's not really sleep on the booze is it? More being knocked out?

I really, really, really, really, really want this to be the last time I have to go through this. We can do it!

Hello all. Just wanted to say we have an ongoing Alcohol free thread on this board. We are really chatty and absolutely no judgement - just that we keep trying really. We are all at different stages with different histories etc. have a little look. I'm not sure I can link very well.

The continuing support thread for living alcohol-free. Everyone welcome. http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4837512-the-continuing-support-thread-for-living-alcohol-free-everyone-welcome

Thankyou @stilldumdedumming

Well done on making the decision.

I remember my day 1, I just had had enough and had to stop.

I’m 2 years sober later this week

@Thepeppapigfanclub honestly the first part is the hardest and isn't it absolutely infuriating that a lot of us end up back there more than once.

I don't know about supermarkets but I buy Kombucha in Holland and Barrett. It's £2.19 a can at the moment (that has gone up a lot recently) but buy it when it is on offer like it is at the moment - £14 for 12 cans which is quite a difference.
I go out with a friend to Wetherspoons once a week and it is about £1.70 a can in there.
Can't be doing with AF drinks as they make me want the real thing.

Thank you @Carpediem15

I'd have said AF drinks did help me before - but then I did end up right back on it. Last attempt I spent just as much on the AF drinks as the normal ones because I was drinking them every night. I'm not sure if I even care what I drink this time as it isn't alcohol. 😂

Following

Evening all! Hope your days have been amazing and your evenings a sanctuary of balmy calmness.

today was the last day of my mini holiday so long dog walks and I went for a massage so feeling slightly blissed out (if mega greasy).

I have found Kalms quite good over the years. Not really sleeping tablets but they are valerian which is meant to be relaxing.

@mindutopia i love the hiking and the wild swimming! I have done a bit of both and am hoping for some day hikes on my next holiday to the NW Pacific coast. Also contemplating buying a wet suit…

Day 4 tomorrow which will be the litmus test. Will check in on the way home and seek some soberspiration

@stilldumdedumming It is very draining constantly being back at the beginning. Still I know I HAVE to do it. I'd definitely be putting alcohol in room 101 if I could. It doesn't help that it's marketed as the cure for all ills.

I'm experiencing the groggy, headachy withdrawal at the minute. Hello my old friend! 😂

I am so blown away though by the kindness of strangers on the internet. It's so kind of people to lend support and offer advice. I really am grateful to everyone who has taken time out of their day to respond and share their successes. I am praying this is the last time I need to be pulled out of this ditch.

How's it going @BackToBasics1808 ?

@Thepeppapigfanclub one of the (many many!) things that has struck me from everything I read is just how difficult it is to go it alone and whether that means meetings or at least a thread like this, it’s really important. So well done for starting it and I hope the fog clears soon

Thank you @TimesaChangeling. It will shift. It will feel great - then the real work begins - staying off it. No more dancing with the idea of moderation. No more romanticising it - and learning to socialise in a world drenched in it.

I'm really in absolute awe of people who've cracked it. I think it's an amazing achievement.