It's day 1! Anyone else?

[Thepeppapigfanclub]

I'm 45. I've been drinking a bottle/bottle and a half a night for as long as I can remember with the odd dry January/ Stoptober along the way - but I always end up back on the wine again.

I'm a parent to a 13 year old and the shame that comes with this is crippling. It's not good and I know I HAVE GOT to stop. I am sick of the self-loathing, the fear, the anxiety and the money down the drain. Most of all, I'm worried about shuffling of this mortal coil leaving my child before I should.

So it's day one (again) for me. I just wondered if anybody else has picked this as their day one too for some support.

Any tips for the first week?

Many thanks - there's some seriously inspirational people on here reading some of the other threads - I'm in awe of all of those who've made it to six months, a year and beyond. It feels beyond my grasp.

Morning all! In fact, middle of the night as I am jet lagged to hell but more importantly jet lagged and NOT hungover. It was a bit of a struggle yesterday, usually a huge day of travelling, driving in forrin and swap in time zone would have me gunning for the bottle but I have more driving today and it was just so crisp and beautiful here that I thought no, I don’t not want to sully this!

i think it might be harder than I think this week, more time, idle hands etc along with a healthy dose of “you are in holiday, what?!” but I am going to give it a fair whack. Yesterday’s craving was a bit unexpected,
i just hadn’t anticipated that particular association but it was very much there when I thought about it.

Hope you are settling back on the wagon @MamaGhina.

Afternoon everyone. Just checking in - week 4 done! It feels like it’s going slowly this time. I’m busy so that’s helping me to resist but still I’m not feeling lots of benefits, if anything I’m actually feeling pretty down - I think like people on here have said, giving up has made me address the issues as to why I’ve have been drinking all this time. My DH doesn’t like the fact I’ve stopped. It’s really hard as a drink would just perk me up before I did the bedtime routine with the kids etc. being AF has made me realise how little my other half actually does with the kids in terms of putting them to bed, cooking etc. Anyway, hey ho - I’m AF so that’s something! Maybe a little reflection is healthy. I’m trying to be less snappy with the kids too but the lack of help does get me very down.

@TimesaChangeling I noticed 2 things after Friday. One, the hangover wasn’t half as bad as I was expecting it to be. I hope that’s a sign that the time off did my liver some good. Two, I wasn’t desperate for that early afternoon drink to feel better the next day. Both positive signs.

@Cloudsclouds6 I’m also feeling a bit short tempered today. Fed up of shit customer service, having to log into everything, passwords, add email address, scan QR codes etc etc. I went to the supermarket for a couple of things and it was mayhem (why?!). The queues were massive and the guy behind me kept ramming my basket with his trolly. I actually felt like I might scream at him 😂 I was muttering to myself on the way out. I think I may have looked a bit like I’ve lost the plot.

You know the other thing annoying me at the moment? I can’t leave the house without seeing someone I know. I feel like I’ve always got to have my game face on. I want to go for a run later, but I’m going to wait until it’s dark because I don’t want to bump into Sharon from the school run while I’m puffing my way round the park.

Rant over…. For now 😬

I can be utterly snappy with or without the night before . Hell is other people. I’m glad to hear the next day wasn’t terribly ruinous! I think I am still stuck in the “don’t know what I’m doing with it” loop which I think roughly translated means my head is telling me to make it permanent so if I break the seal I am pretty sure I will not hop back on afterwards and I’ll be back where I started.

Ah crikey @MamaGhina i know what you mean. Sometimes I’ve wasted a day on password resets and things to do with work. I’m definitely not myself these days and hate seeing people I know. I know this will pass though - it’s been a stressful week with one thing or another and sorting somethings out, waiting on answers from people regarding work stuff etc - the stress is getting to me this evening and there is a bottle of red on the table that my DH brought back today. I’m really struggling to resist it 🤦🏻‍♀️🫣

@Cloudsclouds6 that is tough. DH had a bottle of red to himself last night. I’ve kind of got used to just watching him drink now. That’s not to say I’m not tempted but I try and remind myself of all the reasons why I don’t want to drink and after he’s had his first glass the moment has passed (for me).

That’s so good for resisting it @MamaGhina DH doesn’t like the fact I’m not drinking but hey ho. I resisted tonight too. Not sure how!!!!…. but I played it forward and just didn’t want to feel bad or annoyed with myself tomorrow. I think maybe I’m not fun atm without alc in the eve but maybe there can be a shift in this idea if fun!

Morning all!

I hope you're all well. Well - with or without the drink, I'm still not a major fan of Monday.

@Cloudsclouds6 and @MamaGhina - I think you're both amazing being able to do this with partners who are still drinking. Why do you think your partner isn't happy about it Clouds? Do you think this will change over time?

You've both said some really interesting things - as have you @TimesaChangeling.

This attempt at giving up has been harder than the others. One minute I'm on a pink cloud and quite literally the next I'm missing it and trying to talk myself into a bottle. It's been really touch and go a few times so I'm not taking the sober days for granted. They aren't a given yet.

I think we can all identify with not wanting to bump into people we know. So bored of chit-chat. I really don't want to spent time with anyone at the minute. It's strange.

Anyway - I hope you all have a great day!

I am still waiting for a pink cloud!!

I also recgonise not wanting to bump into people- we live in a small village and I have often said to DH that there is always someone I want to avoid. I am not completely anti social- honest.

I am in a low bored 'what's the point' of it all mood. Not helped by a difficult week ahead work wise. One day at a time....

Hope everyone has a great day.

I used to live in a village so know what you all mean. I live in suburbia now it's much better, nobody is in your business and I'm very mindful to keep everybody out of it.

Hope you all feel some benefits soon. If you're struggling to find one, just appreciate the money you have saved.

Morning all. I’m another 2lbs down! All that salad munching and puffing my way round the park is paying off. I have 3 more I’d like to lose before Christmas so will continue my slow but steady approach.
@Cloudsclouds6 My DH is completely indifferent to me not drinking. He doesn’t think I have a problem because I used to have several consecutive dry days during the week, still work, tidy house etc etc all the signs of functioning well. It would be easier if he wasn’t drinking but I keep reminding myself this is my journey and ultimately for me.
Going to have a long think today about my goals for October and refocus my mind. Have a good Monday everyone!

I'm feeling a bit "meh" this morning. Day 9 today so I am pleased I got through the weekend without a drink but the pride doesn't quite offset the feeling of flatness. I had hoped I would lose some weight with all the calories I am not consuming and the extra walks I am doing but I haven't so that is disappointing. I feel good about being more productive this weekend than usual and my sleep is much better (although still not amazing).

I think I am probably expecting too much too soon and focusing on what I am stopping doing rather than what I can start. Maybe I have to do that to keep the non-drinking as the priority (which it has to be). So I think I will continue to focus on not drinking this week and perhaps find some time one evening or next weekend to think about setting some other goals or nice things to do in October to lift my mood.

I'm in awe of those of you doing this with partners still drinking. I'm a single mum and the only way I feel I can manage at the moment is not to have any wine in the house at all.

Wishing you all a good week.

My DH is still drinking albeit largely when out. I think he thinks I am less fun too and whilst he was the one going on about us having a problem with alcohol, he now seems to want to sabotage! I think it’s mainly because, frankly, I used to use alcohol to relax enough to want to be intimate and now I am getting used to new ways to relax enough. I am much more aware of the kids in the house and the potential for them to walk in on stuff than when I was tipsy!

I am in awe of those who can sit with wine on the table and not drink it. I am definitely not strong enough for that!

Fortunately DH is a beer drinker and that doesn't bother me at all. Also if he has wine, it tends to be red and I am less bothered about that (except at a formal dinner) than quaffing white or pink or a G&T.

I bought a O% alcohol gin at the weekend, interesting bottle and pinkish but can't remember the make. It's quite nice with slimline tonic and frozen berries. Not gin like but better than Gordon's 0% and quite treaty.

Well done everyone.

Also a tough day here. On day 9 like you @Limeandsoda2023 . Haven't dropped any weight, still tired, and not seeing any major benefits yet, but it is another day on this path and all for the greater goal of living an alcohol-free life.

@Cloudsclouds6 and @MamaGhina - sorry to hear your DHs aren't on board. Mine is also still drinking!

I had a triage appointment with an alcohol service today and they said they'd assign me a caseworker but my amounts didn't sound too bad and I didn't sound like a risk??? 🙃 Yes... bottle and a half of wine every day to second day.... totally normal. No no let's wait until I am homeless or lying in a gutter or I have moved on to heroin (being facetious).

Alcohol service rung back- they had forgotten to go through the alcohol dependency test with me and get my score, which turns out is high, and she said this is a good time to get help before it gets worse. Much better response!

@excitedemmi I’m glad they called you back and took it seriously. Well done for taking that step and reaching out for help, that isn’t easy.

@Limeandsoda2023 I think we all went through that flat feeling in the beginning. It’s too soon to feel real benefits and that feeling of missing out is strong. If you have time I’d recommend you go over the thread and see the solidarity there is here!

I’ve reset my try dry goal for a 45 day run. If I make that, it will be my longest run in about 5 years. I was very close last time and I’m confident I can do it. Fingers crossed this month will be a bit easier with the sober October excuse at the ready.

Evening all, it sounds like a lot of us are singing from the same hymn sheet! …thank you @Thepeppapigfanclub for your kind words. I think you’re doing amazingly 💐

@MamaGhina @SpringNotSprung and @BoilingHotand50something my DH loves a drink, always has and from the off, it’s always been a part of our r’ship. His mother loves a drink and has been known to post memes on in insta about it. You get the feeling around her that anyone who doesn’t drink is an odd bod lol - so I suppose, without MIL bashing here, it’s been totally normalised while he’s been growing up. Me less so but that soon changed when I started uni. I think DH doesn’t like to drink alone - it’s hard that he’s not supportive. I haven’t even said really what I’m doing but he’s aware that I hate hangovers these days and get them very easily. My best bet is accepting a drink and then nursing it with him then pouring away. I might have to do this until I broach the subject properly about really not wanting to drink anymore. Like others on here have said, I’m just trying to do this one step at a time, I’m drained, feeling like things have either no or different meanings and questioning friendships. Today I was fantasising about a girls night out - which would include alcohol. I’ve done this drinking thing for so long it’s the searching for something else to fill the void which is really hard xx

Ps @excitedemmi im glad you’re getting the appointment that you need - wishing lots of luck. X

Hi everyone. Day 29 for me! Had bolognese tonight and that would be a trigger for me normally for a nice big glass of red but I didn’t even think about it today.

Anyway, main reason for posting was to say that I have started taking a Wellwomam vitamin and I don’t think if it’s a coincidence or psychological but I definitely feel better than that flat feeling I was struggling with. So might be worth a try to give you a little boost?

Morning all- just checking in before the school run!

Morning all. I’ve started reading alcohol explained. I meant to do that last month but it was one of the things that dropped off the list. First couple of chapters in and no huge revelations although I do understand that high and low cycle he talks about and how that is chemically connected to the cravings. It would also suggest to me that my last run of 39 days did break that cycle, as after drinking Friday night, I was content not to drink on Saturday. That strong desire to open another bottle on Saturday wasn’t there.

I’m continuing to work on not binge eating in the evenings and last night I had an apple after dinner and nothing else. I think that is going to be my main focus in October because the sugar high and low cycle sounds the same as the alcohol one, in terms of the chemical reactions caused by the body and there have definitely been times when I’ve stuffed too much chocolate the night before and have woken the next morning feeling ‘hungover’.

Morning @NewLifeHappyLife I’m also savouring those last feel peaceful minutes before I have to wake the house up at 7!!!

@MamaGhina you got this! Sober October is perfect.

@Cloudsclouds6 the family relationships with alcohol is tricky. I come from a drinking family and they have never said anything to me about my drinking. This amount is totally fine??? I just try and think of it like a drug addiction, though. If I had a family member with a drug addiction like this, we would all be falling over ourselves to help them get off it! And if they were posting memes about it on insta... 😶. Like you, I'm also going to need something to fill the void. I'm thinking yoga, but don't currently have the time. Although I had a lot of time for drinking lol.

@BoilingHotand50something good idea on the vitamins. I'm going to add some to my next shop.

Happy Tuesday everyone. First non sweaty night last night!!