It's day 1! Anyone else?

[Thepeppapigfanclub]

I'm 45. I've been drinking a bottle/bottle and a half a night for as long as I can remember with the odd dry January/ Stoptober along the way - but I always end up back on the wine again.

I'm a parent to a 13 year old and the shame that comes with this is crippling. It's not good and I know I HAVE GOT to stop. I am sick of the self-loathing, the fear, the anxiety and the money down the drain. Most of all, I'm worried about shuffling of this mortal coil leaving my child before I should.

So it's day one (again) for me. I just wondered if anybody else has picked this as their day one too for some support.

Any tips for the first week?

Many thanks - there's some seriously inspirational people on here reading some of the other threads - I'm in awe of all of those who've made it to six months, a year and beyond. It feels beyond my grasp.

In my pj’s eating ice cream. Living the dream.

It's very chilly here! I'm sitting under dd's fleece. She is tipsy. (She is 25 ).

One of my less adorable cats in one of her less adorable moments brought in a mouse about half an hour ago. It is now dead and in a minute I'll have to find it and put it in the brown bin outside.

There is half a bottle of something fine and red in the kitchen. I was tempted but then thought nah, 68 days in and it's not worth it.

I'm going to bed in a minute. It's been a long week, dh has gone up and it's cold.

Have a lovely weekend.

Another Friday night, another Ovaltine!

We had a lovely takeaway but no wine! Feeling proud. 19 dry days! £200 saved - at least - between me and DH and over 6,000 calories saved! Whoop!

Back AGAIN. Re reading the joy of being sober and glorious rock bottom is next. Both have read before. Both have been forgotten. Please wish me luck.

I will wish you luck @Whyisitsosohard. You can do this. I don't think there there is one person on here who isn't all too familiar with the word 'AGAIN'. However you look at alcohol, it is an addictive drug that is expertly marketed. And it is literally everywhere. That is why it is so hard.

Let us know how you are getting on and don't be hard on yourself. It's hard...but worth it.

What I think is working for me this time, if I don't crack, is making it my number 1 priority. Changing the drinking (stopping) is the one thing that is going to have the biggest impact on my life, so it's getting my full attention until it's sorted out., however long it takes.

For me though it's become quite an urgent priority because I was getting aches and pains in my side, dreadful self-esteem and the amount was creeping up and up and up. Where does it stop? I didn't start drinking a bottle and a half a night. And I'm not getting any younger. Stopping drinking is scary but carrying on would be scarier, so this is the better option.

What are you aiming for - moderation or abstinence?

And bloody well done @BoilingHotand50something. That is brilliant news! You should be proud. 💐I bet you are feeling great today!

Good luck @Whyisitsosohard.

I don't know why it's so hard or so easy to slither into drinking every day, then a little more and then too much.

A combination probably of low price, modern pressures and smart advertising. Also, generally an acceptability and for those of us with addictive personalities, smoking has been demonised and drugs are criminalised.

There was a bit of a discussion pages ago about the glamorisation of alcohol, how it's so often a feature of a film, play or series, at the side of a cook in a cooking programme, etc.

I also wonder if, like me, others on the thread had an easy and acceptable relationship with alcohol as a child? My family drank, albeit nicely and without problems. My grandma had a Gin & It every night at 6pm and grandad had a whiskey, probably a beer later and grandma often had a Gin and bitter lemon. I remember being fascinated watching them make the drinks (and helping) and having a little sip. Mother was a party girl, full stop. Often I'd be given a tiny glass of sherry or splash of wine in lemonade at a dinner. Alcohol was very normalised.

In the 60s/70s wine was largely for formal dinners and not quaffed like it is now. I wonder if some of the issues are a result of women earning their own money and not having to account for how it is spent and alcohol becoming relatively cheap? The pubs being open all day doesn't help, not because I drink in pubs but culturally. The attitude to alcohol is very different here than on the Continent.

morning all. Just checking in. Hope everyone is well. I am on my phone as my computer is being repaired and I find it hard to work or scroll back so am reading everyone’s posts but not commenting in depth. Apologies. ❤️ am the only person up and am watching the dawn with a cup of coffee through the window of my upstairs study. It is these quiet and blissful moments that I treasure. 🌷🌷🍰to you all.

Sounds so peaceful @NewLifeHappyLife. I’m up but so are the kids so no peace here.

Good luck @Whyisitsosohard. Yes I remember the discussion about the bug supermarkets hitting you with alcohol on offer as soon as you walk through the door. Or boxes and boxes of wine alongside the back to school stationary.

I’m in the same situation as @Thepeppapigfanclub, although it’s taken me a while to be honest about that. After a night of drinking I’d get heart palpitations when lying in bed on my left side. My stomach was disproportionately bloated compare to the rest of me and I felt anxious all the time. I kept putting these things down to other causes, like I must be peri menopausal. Or was stressed at work. Or over eating. The truth is, I’m on day 34 and all of those things have improved significantly since I stopped drinking.

@NewLifeHappyLife I'm up too with a cup of coffee. It's the first night I've had a really deep, glorious sleep after 5 nights of tossing and turning.

@SpringNotSprung times have definately changed with attitudes towards alcohol. I'm not from the UK but where I come from, afternoon drinking is frowned upon even on Fridays. The addiction in my family is smoking - grandfather, granduncle, my dad. All died from some form of cancer or heart disease. It's interesting what u mention about ur grandparents and the concept of enjoying an evening drink. If u remember that old 80s series Fresh Fields- there were always scenes of them making an evening drink and thoroughly enjoying it as an art form too!

I'm not sure where and how my 1 glass of wine became a bottle and then till recently 1.5 bottles. The thing is, even if I were out with friends, nobody would bat an eyelid if I ordered 3 large glasses of wine or see it as alarming.

I'm seriously impressed with you guys!

I'm aiming for moderation, but was hoping for a dry month to start with. It was going really well but we have had an unexpected guest for the past week and DH thinks it's rude to host without wine.

So in 28 days I have had 24 days AF. And (thanks to this thread) I have been keeping any drinking to a minimum. Last night I had 2 small glasses of white wine.

I'm trying to do things that aren't compatible with drinking, I went to Zumba again on Thursday, and last night picked DD up at 9pm so couldn't drink before that.

Today I have to drive our guest back to the airport (DH was going to do it but I insisted) so my normal Saturday lunchtime wine is out of the question.

Thanks @MamaGhina @SpringNotSprung and @Thepeppapigfanclub.

I'm aiming for abstinence. I've tried moderation and I can't do it. It's crept up and up. I have had periods of abstinence but have young children (very young) and don't want them to remember their dad and I drinking daily when they think of their childhood.

My parents both drank a lot. Dad still does. I remember the impact (no violence or anything conventionally abusive) and don't want my kids to feel the same. I also work in advertising so am fully aware how and why it's sold to us as life fulfilling and a great habit..

I'm about to try on a pair of sizes 16 trousers delivered this week. It was an 18 last year and they cut in a bit. Will report back.

Let us know @SpringNotSprung

@Whyisitsosohard my parents were also very heavy drinkers. My mother also had very serious mental health issues and when she drank she became verbally and physically abusive. She thankfully started a decent programme of medication when I was in my late twenties but I had moved continents by then and will never return. She still drinks and becomes self pitying and Martyish and verbally abusive when she does so. I am still trying to work through my issues about that. Mostly I don’t let myself think too hard about it.

but in other news…. With money saved from not-drinking I yesterday put down the deposit for our Easter holiday!! We will be going to Germany as DH has been keen to for some time. Just by my projected savings we can go with money to spare. ❤️

Yay ! Two positives here. The lb lost means they fitted (perhaps another 1/2 inch needs to go for the pockets to sit completely flat) and the £ saved from not drinking means they were a net budget purchase; along with a Whistles jacket

Really hoping everyone has a good weekend and manages to face down temptation. I find long, hot bubble baths really treaty and as I've never drunk in the bath, there's no association.

well done everyone - keep going!

I was awake before 6 today having had a better couple of nights sleep. I was out with the dog earlier and I feel much fitter walking.

my biggest positive at day 20 is the realisation of how much time thinking about wine was consuming - do we have enough in for tonight, am I ok to drive this morning, I wonder if I smell of alcohol, when should I have my first glass tonight. I think someone else said the same earlier in the thread. It is very freeing not to have to think about it any more.

Visited some friends today and I drove so DH could drink. We were sat around most of the day so when we got home I did a beginners session of yoga, followed by a very large glass of water. Who is this person and where has the old Ghina gone?! I didn’t even feel tempted today which is massive for me, even more so at the weekend. Now chilling out before bed. Will hopefully sleep well and feel awesome in the morning!

@BoilingHotand50something yes, that was me who said it was so freeing to take alcohol out of the equation completely. The amount of energy I used to waste thinking about all of the compromises needed to function when drinking was just shocking.

@SpringNotSprung well done on getting into the jeans! Whilst my weight might not have gone down much, my bloated stomach certainly has.

My friends took a video of us today and sent it around our group. My face is looking much less haggard these days.

@MamaGhina thanks - I thought I had read it on here. It’s an unexpected benefit for me as I never realised how much time I spent thinking about it.

Suspiciously quiet here. Hope you’re not all down the boozer without me!

@BoilingHotand50something 🤣 not guilty gov!

Not guilty either.

I haven't drunk. I've had a productive weekend. I'm glad I haven't drunk...but am feeling a bit...flat? It might just be because it's Sunday though and nothing to do with not being in the boozer. 😂The uniform ironing is calling but I can't be bothered.

I'm stuck in some weird place. I simultaneously want to drink and don't want to drink. I'm not going to obviously. The thought of going to the shop to buy the wine and getting through a bottle and a half sounds like hard work tbh. 😂

How are you all today?

Also feeling a bit flat. Haven’t quite got my head around sober weekends yet. I don’t know what to do with myself.

Sorry to hear you're feeling flat too @BoilingHotand50something. I know what you mean.

I'm just not sure that I know who I am anymore - apart from a middle-aged, chunky, single parent. Not much chance of finding a decent relationship at this age and a moderately serious drink problem. 😂I don't even really want to see my friends at the minute because everyone and everything is getting on my nerves - including myself. 😂

I hope this stage doesn't last long.

I’m the outlier then feeling happy this weekend. Must be a combination of not being tempted yesterday, which was a big deal for me and also the fact my face looks so different in the video that was taken. Less bloated. Less red. Fresher. I know I said less haggard but it does, almost like I’ve lost some of the evidence of years of drinking too much and smoking. I know it’s still early days but the change already is quite noticeable.

I keep reminding myself of all the reasons I don’t want to drink… there’s so many.

I am sorry to hear some of you are feeling low and flat. The change in the weather doesn't help.

I worked all day today prepping for court next week despite the fact that I think there's a 90% chance of "settling on the steps". Not a lawyer but it's work related. I packed it in at 5.30 and cooked a roast, the first for ages and for the first time in ages I really fancied a glass of wine. Made do with tipping a slug into the gravy.

There were just four of us: DH, me, dd and dd's boyfriend. We had a loin of pork (the crackling was soggy), roast spud, cabbage and chantenay carrots, with fresh apple sauce. Spuds and apples from the garden.

Here's to a positive next week.