It's day 1! Anyone else?

[Thepeppapigfanclub]

I'm 45. I've been drinking a bottle/bottle and a half a night for as long as I can remember with the odd dry January/ Stoptober along the way - but I always end up back on the wine again.

I'm a parent to a 13 year old and the shame that comes with this is crippling. It's not good and I know I HAVE GOT to stop. I am sick of the self-loathing, the fear, the anxiety and the money down the drain. Most of all, I'm worried about shuffling of this mortal coil leaving my child before I should.

So it's day one (again) for me. I just wondered if anybody else has picked this as their day one too for some support.

Any tips for the first week?

Many thanks - there's some seriously inspirational people on here reading some of the other threads - I'm in awe of all of those who've made it to six months, a year and beyond. It feels beyond my grasp.

The analogy works for me re cigarettes. I have what is fairly close to a phobia (or at least a strong aversion) to cigarettes. Just seeing people smoke makes me feel ill and seeing cigarette butts or ashtrays makes me feel all faint and vomity.

I have never even touched a cigarette nor indeed a cigarette packet. I would simply never even contemplate it. I am 50 and the fact I do not smoke has never troubled my mind. I don't smoke. That is it. It does not even reach my consciousness.

I do try and retrain my thoughts to think of booze the way I feel about cigarettes.

I haven't had cottage cheese since about 1995. Wish I could say the same for the wine. 😂Loving the analogy. Haha.

I would just like to say I really struggled tonight as we got word that our planning permission was rejected. I can however happily report that I am my pj's and in bed at the minute! Was sorely tempted to run out to the store but reminded myself I'd be shit tomorrow 6am getting lunchboxes ready.

Oh god I’ve eaten everything in sight today. No cottage cheese though 🤣

I adored sleeping last night, cool, windows open and tucked warm under the duvet sleeping until I eventually dragged myself out to walk the pooches this morning. It was just blissful! So much nicer than a headachey, sweaty, anxiety ridden “can’t get back to sleep”. Am feeling perky about things for now.

well done for not rushing at the wine @MisoSoups . It’s amazing how quickly the brain says this is exactly what you should do in response to a less than ideal event isn’t it?

I have just discovered Sky have Christmas 24 movies going… I don’t think that was the type of hobby I meant but any port in a storm!

1 week AF here. Feeling good although I had an "alcohol dream" last night which is always unnerving!

One of the kids is being really hard work this week which is very challenging. I think I am probably more patient in sobriety but it still feels draining. Funny, in the morning I would never think to drink whereas if it kicks off in the evening I would have been opening the bottle quicker than you can say Tantrum.
Still, Cadbury's have been doing rather well out of me this week.

How is everyone doing?

I read something really interesting in Hola Sober this morning. "A statistic from a study by Tempest says that the average person takes 11 years between accepting they have a problem and reaching out for help. Most of those people spend years falling on and of the wagon, years doing that first hard month over and over."

Wow. That actually brings me a lot of comfort. I think many of us here will have done the old moderation dance, cut down and find ourselves drinking more, waking up at 3am with that hangxiety. Maybe done a Dry Jan but then jumped back in eager for more.

And this from Annie Grace. "With enough time, and the right circumstances, alcohol is addictive to 100% of people."

Hi everyone, @Steppered some interesting and helpful thoughts, thank you - I do believe as a nation we have to admit that alc is addictive and no one is immune from its effects. I know many older generations who I would say are addicted in disguise iykwim? Not even sure I know what that means to be honest but trying to make sense of it all and philosophise over alc consumption does help me in trying to curb it…

hang in there everyone. We are doing so well!

I'm sat on the couch with a cup of camomile tea. This is my trigger hour. 4.30 after picking the kids up. It's day 4. Sleep still wasn't the best last night but

I got some decent sleep in and woke up feeling good about myself nor anxious about doing the morning school run.

I have my book club tonight and normally it involves a lot of wine then I am totally useless the next day. I have already said, when I confirmed my attendance, that I won't be drinking tonight. As much as I may be tempted I know I will will stick with it as I have a lot I need to get done tomorrow. It won't be easy though.

Evening all,

So glad everyone is doing so well despite the challenges. Well done @MisoSoups - it sounds like you're off to a cracking start! Good luck with the book club @ApolloandDaphne.

I think I read somewhere that older people are often problem drinkers - loneliness, life changes and bereavements I expect.

Stress is a funny one isn't it. When I'm stressed at work I don't think about wine...

Interesting to hear the statistics @Steppered. I've known I've had a problem with the wine for years - probably 'deep down' about 15...but - I've been too terrified to do anything about it. I wasn't (still aren't) sure if I'd ever be able to tackle it. I've been drinking all my adult life - so I'm really not sure who I am without it. Who knows what I'll find when the dust settles... scary really. I don't know who I am without a drink an it doesn't feel good writing that.

We'll today marks 1 month. I haven't been longer than a month without a drink since I was 14 so from tomorrow I'm officially in unchartered waters. I'm still determined to get to 100 days to do a 'review'. Hopefully by then, there will be no going back. EVER. 😃

The wine is still on my mind, but I'm not mentally making excuses to have some...hopefully that is progress. I'm still of the mind that even if I did have one (bottle) now - it wouldn't change anything and I'd feel rubbish - and I still don't have the appetite for starting again, again. Been there too many times.

It's really great hearing about all of your wins. This could be one of the greatest things we ever do.

I had a good day but we decided we might have a takeaway tomorrow and DH said ‘and a bottle of wine…?’ And I was the most tempted I have been so far. But I am not going to break! Becks Blue it is and maybe a new pair of slippers!

I'm back from book club. In the spirit of openness I will admit to having two glasses of red wine. I also had two large glasses of water. This is definitely a move towards moderation which is where I want to be.

I am hiding in the bath tub again (bet you all wanted to know that). I think @Thepeppapigfanclub it’s not wine at work I want but at the end of the day, especially when it’s been a bit frantic. Peppermint tea on the train home helped. WELL DONE on your month!and well done on the moderation @ApolloandDaphne

You go get those slippers @BoilingHotand50something !

Glad I have found this thread, day 3 for me today. The last two nights I've woken up in sweats and i'm struggling to get to sleep tonight. I have a box of wine in the kitchen and I know it sounds ridiculous but I am glad it's there so I'm not focusing on there being no alcohol in the house and questioning myself "what if I need it and dont have any?" Oh the anxiety of that!

I am determined that box of wine will stay there for 6 weeks (apparently they stay fresh for that long once open!). I've tried "quitting" before where I've finished off a bottle because "I am going to quit tomorrow!" but then tomorrow comes and the thought of not having any in the house drives me to buy it and drink it.

I hate the bin men coming on recycle day, hearing them empty my bin and the glass bottles smashing.

I hate the groggy head in the morning and the carb cravings.

I had a nice fizzy vimto instead this evening.

Oh and I have 6 stone to lose but Rome wasn't built in a day!

Thanks @Thepeppapigfanclub . It's midnight and insomnia strikes. I'm downstairs with a ham sandwich again 😅 better than wine for sure:) this time round the insomnia has been terrible.

Hi @MinecraftRose - you are very restrained. I am the opposite- if it’s in the house, I am drinking it!

@ApolloandDaphne well done on the moderation.

Good morning all. I slept very well thankfully so those two glasses of wine didn't affect my sleep.

@MinecraftRose I know what you mean about having wine there and it being less anxiety provoking than there being none. I have a bottle of wine in my fridge so it's there if I want it and I am happy opening the fridge and saying no thank you, I don't want you. I don't think that psychology works for everyone though.

Hope you all have a lovely Friday.

Morning all just checking in to say hi then off for the school run extravaganza. Hope everyone has a great day. 😀

32 days down, I actually forgot to update my app for a couple of days, not sure if that’s because I’ve been so busy at work or if I’m starting to think about it less.

I’m more productive at work then ever. Less self doubt I guess. Better organised and ploughing through the mountain isn’t giving me the same panicky feeling as before. I feel more at peace in every area of my life.

I also couldn’t have a nice bottle of white chilling in the fridge. There was a night around week 2/3 when I know I would have opened it.

@Steppered I related to your post so much. I’ve know for ages I need to ‘cut down’. I’ve tried before so many times. Doing the off dry Jan or sober October but I always fall back into those habits, year after year. It’s exhausting giving it so much head space. It’s quite freeing just to say no.

Morning all,

Well done everyone - I keep checking the post and can see how amazing you are doing!!
I've been sticking to cutting down and so pleased to say I've not had a drink since Sunday so 4 days AF for me!!! I was determined to have some AF free days in September and although i had anxiety over not drinking (even though i had it down to 1 or 2 a day even on a weekend) I feel so good and proved to myself mainly that i can do this
@MinecraftRose i'm the same when it comes to stuff in the house - i like to know its there 'just in case' as it takes the anxiety off
@Thepeppapigfanclub Well done you!!! A Month - that's brilliant!!
I've actually found some 0% wine that doesn't taste like c**p too - M&S its about £4 a bottle and actually very nice!!

Happy Friday All!!

Well done on one whole month @Thepeppapigfanclub , that is an incredible achievement. You should celebrate yourself, you deserve a treat. I too have been drinking since age 13 and also not sure who I am without it. I actually suspect I'm a lot quieter without it.

No worries @ApolloandDaphne , you've done something different and drank mindfully , learning and growing.

@MinecraftRose you've probably got a bit of PAWS (post alcohol withdrawal symptoms). They should ease up really soon and you'll feel the benefit with better sleep. Hang in there. I am the opposite of you, the temptation of wine/fizz would haunt me so I have to have none in the house! Beer, spirits etc don't tempt me (so I used to tell myself it was okay and that meant I obviously didn't have a problem with drinking!). Fizzy vimto sounds incredible.

@BoilingHotand50something get those slippers, treat yourself!

@MisoSoups keep at it and the sleep will come soon, I hope. Well done for persevering.

So it's Friday, I suspect I may well find this evening slightly tempting as I'm on Day 9, my wine witch is like "you've been sooo good, it's the weekend, time for a treat!" And I say NO. Drinking poison is NOT A TREAT. I've bought a lot of sugary sodas and flavoured teas, I find especially drinking something around 4pm post school-run really helps as often I am just dehydrated.

They often say that your head drinks before your mouth does, so beware those cravings and the whispering of the wine witch. Remember HALTT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Thirsty). We got this weekend, ladies. Wishing us all well x

Ahh amazing @MamaGhina , that's such an incredible achievement. Well done to you.

I'm happy to share anything I come across; I am signed up to a lot of alcohol free emails/facebook groups/podcasts etc. I've been dancing this dance probably 4 years now. I can talk the talk but I'm still trying to walk the walk. It isn't easy, but the best thing is that we are HERE. Knowing we're not happy with our drinking, but finding we are NOT ALONE. Connection is the opposite of addiction.

There will be no alcohol here tonight as my DH wants to run in our local Parkrun tomorrow. It's the 500th one in this park so me and the dog are going to cheer everyone on as they have asked for a big crowd. We will get coffee and cake afterwards.

@BackToBasics1808 i like the sound of this alcohol free wine. Might keep my DH from tempting me. All alcohol free wines are horrible in my experience.

Evening all!

Thank you so much for your kind words! I hope you're all doing well on what is still the hardest day of the week - for me at least. I would love nothing more than a bottle of wine and a pack of ciggies. 😂I've settled on a pack of AF Heineken, a twix and some cheese and crackers. I don't care about the bloody weight loss.

The psychological withdrawal continues, but as we know - the joy comes in the morning. I've also treated myself to an hour of central heating. Wild times!

Interested to hear which wine it was @BackToBasics1808? I've got an M and S Merlot here that I haven't opened yet... I hope it's that one.

There's a lot of wise words on here. Thanks @Steppered for the advice. It's really, really helpful. It's starting to get a bit colder now so I'm going to get some nice hot drinks in for an evening - those option hot chocolate things and some more herbal teas. Might throw in some horlicks. 😂

I hope you all have a great weekend and that the wine witch isn't too grating.