It's day 1! Anyone else?

[Thepeppapigfanclub]

I'm 45. I've been drinking a bottle/bottle and a half a night for as long as I can remember with the odd dry January/ Stoptober along the way - but I always end up back on the wine again.

I'm a parent to a 13 year old and the shame that comes with this is crippling. It's not good and I know I HAVE GOT to stop. I am sick of the self-loathing, the fear, the anxiety and the money down the drain. Most of all, I'm worried about shuffling of this mortal coil leaving my child before I should.

So it's day one (again) for me. I just wondered if anybody else has picked this as their day one too for some support.

Any tips for the first week?

Many thanks - there's some seriously inspirational people on here reading some of the other threads - I'm in awe of all of those who've made it to six months, a year and beyond. It feels beyond my grasp.

well done @MamaGhina for the weight loss and @Cloudsclouds6 - impressive socialising and still staying off it!

So I am into week 3 which I am really proud of and am feeling ok. Not had a major temptation yet which I am really surprised at. Feeling a bit flat though - the days seem longer so I need to think of stuff to do which keeps me occupied!

Evening everyone!

Hope you're all doing well! I'm glad that the weight loss is going good for some of you! You deserve all the benefits!

I haven't shifted a pound yet. 😂I think a lot of the AF stuff I've been drinking probably has a lot of sugar in it. I've decided to give myself another month of eating/drinking what I want - then I'll tackle the weight. It's not like I'm going to drop a stone and half and become 'hot' at my age 😂so it can wait a bit longer to sort out. Going on a diet has got to be a lot easier than dealing with multiple decade alcohol addiction - so one problem at a time here so it doesn't become too overwhelming.

It's so dark so early that it's great being in bed at this time. I am enjoying this new normal and I can't say I'm missing the 9pm panic dash to the shop for bottle number 2 every evening. It sounds stupid but I'm only really beginning to comprehend just how much I was drinking...

I hope you're all having a good evening and that this week proves to be less difficult.

Anyone else think TryDry should have some sort of applause for each milestone? Or maybe a megaphone announcement “You made it to week 5” or “That’s a month in the bag you beautiful son of a bitch”. I wonder if they take feedback.

4 weeks yesterday was a real achievement for me. Didn’t think I’d do it to be honest. I’m just going to note down some of the things I’ve noticed.

• I’ve been religiously following my skincare routine
• I’ve been taking multivitamins everyday
• I’ve been getting to bed earlier
• I’ve been drinking loads of water

My focus for this month is upping fruit and veg. To be fair, I have made big improvements in this area but I’ve got to cut down the evening junk binge. This is the month I’m going to do it.

I think my skin is looking better. My sleep is certainly improved. My breathing feels easier and my heart palpitations are going away. Add to that the decrease in feeling anxious and the increase in my productivity (I think both at work and in life admin).

The only thing still following me around are the thoughts of wine. The idea of drinking. The self doubt that I will crack. I haven’t yet shaken that. Hopefully the longer I go the quieter those voices will become.

Morning all One pound down here. . I feel like i really ought to have lost the stone and a half that @Thepeppapigfanclub speaks of.

I also agree about a round of applause @MamaGhina . You won't hear it but i am going to give you one right now.
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There. Bloody well done!

I know, when I hit my first goal, I thought there would at least be a “well done”!! Today is day 31 (so that’s another goal met, my first was 20 dry days).

Yesterday was a better day and I am definitely now finding it easier during the week. I just try to imagine the hangover and I don’t want it. Harder on the weekends mind. I can’t actually believe I got this far.

I don’t think I have lost weight but I am properly hopefully there will be tipping point. Even you just took the wine and the snack component, there’s a really big difference and I’ve been doing a lot of weights and other stuff so fingers crossed this butterfly is coming out soon (but fat caterpillar I remain for now).

I think I need to start thinking about some actual hobbies. I’ve spent evenings watching videos and hiding in bath tubs, which is not very enriching in the long run.

Indeed. Milestones are important. Well done to those meeting them and remember every day in is a new milestone and something to be proud of.

Day 68 here. As I said above day 45ish was about when I stopped wanting it. I thought when I got a diagnosis of just a mildly fatty liver and the all clear from a hepatologist that I could have 14 u it's a week, but no more, that would open the gate for me wanting to drink sensibly but it didn't. I think the worry of the six weeks leading up to the fibroscan knocked it on the head.

My biggest battle is now the weight which alcohol will sabotage. One stone down, two to go.

Keep going everyone. Abstinence has unseen benefits: better liver, better kidneys, better cholesterol, all things that eventually catch up with you, and when they do it's too late, particularly liver problems.

morning all,

Loving reading all the posts.

Re food, I think it’s really important to compartmentalise things. Alc first, food can come later. Alc is a poison, ridiculously addictive, yet a cultural norm here in the UK introduced to people at a young age. Anyone remember a double vodka and coke for £1 at freshers week or am I just showing my age?! What happened to free yoga courses, football marathons and cheerleading, wellness retreat week/ meditation, smoothly making workshops or something else that might be fun in freshers week. But no, it just wouldn’t cut it so let’s get hammered, put ourselves in danger and make a tit of ourself in the first week of uni/college etc. That’s what we have been subjected to. Of course it’s a choice. Bit difficult when evening socialising is centred around alc. So we have become addicted to this norm. Our bodies don’t like us for it. We get sick. I’m going to deal with food later but am starting to plan what needs to be a huge shift in my eating patterns and in particular cutting down on sugar.

Keep going lovelies 🤗

Evening all!

So many interesting thoughts and reflections. I think we're collectively doing a very good job of sitting with the uncomfortableness of it. I'm hoping there's only 15 more days to go before I stop yearning for something that I just can't have and that my brain finally gets the message.

Young women were definitely targets in the nineties. Castaways. Blast-aways. £1.00 a pint nights. All gateway drinks for them to get us on the wine. 😂

I spent a lot of time reading about end of life from liver disease last week so I read your post with interest @SpringNotSprung because that is, without a doubt, that is the direction I'm heading in if I don't 'win'. The amount just creeps up and up... where does it stop? I was/am pretty scared of what happens if I crack.

Also agree about finding new hobbies. It's just hard to be arsed thinking about after a long day at work. 😂

Another day ticked off. Another day heading to bed for 9.30pm!

Can I join? Day 2. Its 12.30pm and I've just gone downstairs to have a ham sandwich. Not because I'm hungry. I can't sleep but I'm determined to stay on course. Had night sweats last night. None tonight but no sleep yet. I stuffed myself with a doughnut and bread and butter pudding to stop the wine cravings tonight. I've spent the whole day reading this thread and it's the Kindest thread I've read so far. Pl support me I really want to be AF

Agree, so kind and supportive.
The eating doesn’t matter. I’ve just finished a bag of those divine little Terrys chocolate orange segments, same calories as a bottle of the sour grape poison, but I’m going to feel great when I get up.
I never used to bother about chocolate, I could take it or leave it.

Morning everyone!

Welcome @MisoSoups! Of course you can join. I hope you managed to get some sleep in the end. As I'm sure you read, I think most of us struggled with the sleep to begin with. It took mine weeks to settle down. Good luck with day 3 - you can do it. What are you aiming for? Moderation or abstinence? Let us know how you are getting on.

I agree. There's been a lot of kindness on this thread and it has really helped me so much.

Have a great day.

Morning all and welcome @MisoSoups. Gosh yes, hang in there with the bad sleep because it does turn a corner eventually.
I went to the pub last night. Tried AF cider, it was ok. Tasted like cider without the alcohol 🤣 better than AF wine. Then I came home at a normal time and went to bed. No worry about what I said, or whether I’d wake the kids, or get up ok.
In the past I would have tried to drink 3 large glasses of wine, while acting casual about how much I was drinking. All the time wondering if it was too soon to order another. I would have then got home, trying not to appear drunk. Smoked. Then had an awful nights sleep. Followed by the morning anxiety. What did I say, was I much more drunk than everyone else etc all the while trying to get the kids ready for school and myself ready for work. All on a Wednesday morning. The longer I am dry the more I realise drinking alcohol is utter madness.

@MamaGhina af Heineken is pretty good for a Friday night treat.

Happy Wednesday everyone. Every day is a new day and a clean slate, getting gleamier and the writing on it clearer throughout the day.

I know what you mean @Thepeppapigfanclub about hobbies after a hard day at work. My days at work are long and hard. I intend to read but never pick the book up, but that's due to Mnet largely. I bought The Fingersmith about a month ago and haven't started it yet.

Off in a minute and probably won't be home much before 8!

My lovely DH bought me a box of chocolates as I underwent a fairly minor procedure in hospital yesterday. It meant that when I came home from my evening class last night I was keen to have a cup or tea and dive right into them rather than diving into a bottle of wine! I may not be any thinner but I feel so much better.

This is such a lovely and supportive thread so welcome newcomers; and for those hitting milestones, MASSIVE WELL DONE, CELEBRATE YOURSELF! Because you deserve it.

I'm feeling good. Reading quit lit, listening to podcasts, and not feeling particularly tempted at the moment. Annie Grace is doing a free 5 day virtual event, it started on the 18th, so if anyone wants to sign up for that it might be available? You'll need to put about an hour aside a day if you can.

Something she said yesterday really resonated with me. Don't set a goal that makes you feel like shit!
Saying "I'm never drinking again" is TERRIFYING. Impossible to wrap your head round and almost sets you up to fall because you're really going against a lot of deeply ingrained beliefs. Instead, make the goal really positive such as - "I want to feel apathy towards alcohol" ; "I want alcohol to be like a former best friend: we had our good times but we both moved on".
I thought ... I want alcohol to be like cottage cheese.
Literally. I never think about cottage cheese. It never crosses my mind. I never buy it. I don't crave it. I don't make plans around it and furtively stock up on it! I don't google whether I'm addicted to it. I don't make excuses to pop to the shop to buy it.

Apologies to any cottage cheese lovers out there...!

Like the cottage cheese analogy. I’m getting there with that.

Welcome @MisoSoups - this thread has been instrumental for me getting to day 16 which is HUGE for me!

I can never imagine wine will become my cottage cheese but I would love to aim towards that! Funnily enough I saw cottage cheese the other day in the shop and thought - wow, I remember those cottage cheese days when I was a student!

Dont set a goal that makes you feel like shit are words to live by!!

Just dashing quickly in then out. Another unexpected benefit of not drinking.... I have been taking on some extra work in the last year or so in order to prop up my holiday account (never mind the ridiculous depleting my finances generally due to drinking... ). I have been offered a couple of ad hoc evening jobs that actually if I HAD been drinking I would have turned down previously - cos by the time I get to the evening I am desperate for a drink! This time I was able to quickly say yes and although the money involved isn't much it does open up possibilities for me.

That and the circa £250 i have already saved by not-drinking means that hopefully we can manage an extra family holiday next year.... thinking Germany for 7 days.

Thank you all for the kind words. Like many on this thread, its been a bottle a day which in thr last 2 months crept up to 1.5 on some days. I started the wine habit in my 20s and it slowly escalated when I had a nervous breakdown over my mum's bipolar. There was a lot of DV in my childhood and physical abuse towards myself from my dad too. However, I am now very happily married and have no reason to drink other than maybe the challenges of parenting (altho I'm aware the wine makes me even snappier and a terrible parent). And also, boredom if I examine things really closely. So it needs to stop. But I do genuinely enjoy the taste of wine. But cannot moderate. Its Day 3 for me and no cake in sight to stuff my face in later grrr

Saying this to spur people on: a bottle is 10 units, a bottle and a half is 15 units. A bottle a day is 70 units, a bottle and a half 105 units.

Safe drinking for women is 14 units per week - 6 glasses of wine.

I drank 2 glasses a day for two decades. That's about 5.6 units or 20g of alcohol. For some people 20g daily for 20 years is enough to initiate cirrhosis. I was in shock having taken the government guidance with a pinch of salt.

Hi everyone, welcome @MisoSoups I agree it’s the kindest thread I’ve come across and only come on here. No judgement, just real women with a real life situation which we need to change.

The cottage cheese scenario is how I’d like to be. I havent had cottage cheese in absolutely years nor would I buy it or think about it.

I think there is a point at which sleeping comes better and food cravings go and then we can focus on diet more. But for now I’m happy with cutting the alc.

funnily enough I was feeling really unwell and fluey last night, we have a friend staying with us and I would normally reach for the paracetamol and then have a few cheeky glasses of something while cooking. I resisted and just put up with feeling lousy. Kindly excused myself and went to bed early. No one bothered, everyone happy! Oh and I didn’t poison myself in the process lol 🫣😂

I hate cottage cheese 🤣

Really enjoying all the positive updates today. I certainly feel like I’ve turned a bit of a corner. Long may it continue.

I love cottage cheese and often have a craving for it on crackers so I am guessing that analogy isn't going to work so well for me!