This thread is so helpful to read. So much resonates. I am not a prolific poster but reading everyone’s experiences makes me feel connected and accountable.
I am on day 56 AF, and the last few days have been the first time I have been wavering. I went for dinner at a friends house the other night, there were two other people there who I don’t know well and I really had an urge to have a drink. Luckily I can come prepared with AF beer. The feeling passed. It was a lovely evening. They were all quite sloshed towards the end and I was glad I wasn’t. Even more so the next day.
Last night I went to a good friend’s birthday party. These are friends who I always used to drink with. Lots of people were there who I knew, but not well. Before I went I felt really undecided as to whether to have a glass or two of red. The thing that stopped me was thinking about tue terrible night’s sleep that would follow, the anxiety, the low mood, not being present for my kids. So I didn’t.
A bit of a revaluation that social anxiety was a big reason for drinking. I hadn’t realised this until I reflected on it. Have always felt quite confident in social situations, but without the booze, I realise that a lot of that confidence must have been false boozy confidence.
There were some very drunk people at the party and it was strange really. That would have been me before. I wasn’t judging them, but it was odd. Some folk were being very loud and obnoxious and it made me feel a bit panicked inside, thinking was I like that? I always thought I was charming and funny…but maybe I wasn’t. I was never a loud drunk, but it made me realize how much my perceptions were altered by the alcohol.
Sober parties are hard work. But I had a real laugh with some people I hadn’t seen for ages. Had a few really interesting conversations and , overall, it was fun. I got home , had a cup of tea and watched some shit tv. So glad I didn’t drink.
its pissing down here and I may even go for a run. This would have been unthinkable before 😂