The continuing support thread for living alcohol-free. Everyone welcome.

[Blackberryblossom]

Hello and welcome to the alcohol free support thread. Many thanks to @wendywagon for holding the reins on the last thread, and to drybird for starting the original thread about 3 years ago.
We’re a broad community who have all chosen to live alcohol free for good. There’s support here whatever your stage on that journey. Whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love all the successes of whatever shape and size, and have all been there too when things get challenging.
Thank you too @rep22 @onewildandpreciouslife for offering to back up host too. I thought there was someone else but I can’t find the post.

I want to say thank you to everyone last night for your really helpful support when I was struggling. The relief to wake up hangover free and sober this morning was immense! I will pay it forward on here when others are struggling!

Day 14 and today and I am not drinking

Well done @Minutebyminute it can really help to play it forward and concentrate on how messy you will be by the end of the night, and how awful you will feel the next morning.

I went to visit my lovely friend who just had bariatric surgery recently, she’s doing amazingly well. However, I was shocked that a few days after a life changing operation, she talked a lot about “when I can drink again “ “I think I will just drink G and T” “of course I won’t be able to drink champagne or Prosecco because of the bubbles “

It made me feel quite sad for her, that rather than seeing this as an opportunity to reset her relationship with booze, she is already bargaining with her future self on how she will twist herself into knots to be able to continue.

It's my perception from what I've seen/read that bariatric surgery is not going to be successful long term unless you deal with the issues that contributed to your weight gain in the first place, which were often trauma or abuse. In other words, the same issues that we blotted out by drinking, so it sounds as though your friend may still have some work to do if she's bargaining already.

We definitely notice these things more when we remove ourselves from that particular loop. I'm currently looking at a colleague and wondering why he cannot see that his very heavy daily drinking, and consequently never being at home, is one of the main reasons his DW has called time on their marriage!

After lads.
I had put myself back to the boudoir as my leg has been trouble again.
The DH has gone for DD (she likes to come home from university at weekends). We don't mind and she is hoping to get a weekend job.
@rothbury there are loads of drinks/ foods you can't eat after baratric surgery. I know two people who have had it. Both in their thirties, no DC, one putting weight back on and the other lost three stone tops and is now on semiglutide. Tbh it has put me off. Some people liquidise chocolate! I am with @Pleasemrstweedie the reason for obesity needs therapy. I don't think about food like I use to. I started off seeking support for my drinking and it went through some old dusty corners of my upbringing.
I am now two and a half stone lighter (4 more to go). Will your friend have counselling rothbury?

I don't think she has had counselling. She does have unresolved childhood trauma.

I think she will be OK with the food, but I'm not sure she isn't alcohol dependent to be honest...

@,rothbury. Your friend could be in trouble then. I would say how's the counselling going? As if it comes as part of the package. Pretend you thought it was. Other than eating cheap carbs due to food poverty I am with you on the trauma being a big factor. Same as booze. I was a skinny kid but when I started to put weight on it was down to bullying. Later I used alcohol to blot out the name calling and frightening things said to me.
In work I seemed to be the punch bag for any man that felt threatened. Food and booze helped in the moment.
I have a theory on seeing the light. If we can tell someone it stops the shame.
Not easy but for me it's been life changing.

Well done @Minutebyminute . Day 6 done so day 7 aka a week today. Also 18 out of 21 days in July

Morning all.
Off to the dentist this morning. One of the surprising benefits of being sober is I’ve finally got my teeth sorted. I had really bad staining, and I’ve looked into bleaching them before but, confession time, I was worried using the bleach trays would eat into my drinking time. All done now, now just need to get a couple of chips filled in.
Hope everyone has a good Friday - eyes on the prize of a hangover free Saturday!

Holiday time here in the Crunchy household.

Off for 10 days on the wet Kent coast. If our train is running. You've got a love an English summer holiday. 😂

It's my 3rd trip since being AF so I'm not concerned. Looking forward to a change of scene, ice cream and coastal walks.

Morning all. @Crunchymum I love the Kent coast. We used to go to Whitsabubble (that's what the DC called it). Broadstairs is my favourite for the ice cream.
I have been up hours applying for a particular job and researching business support for the bath and body company. I am slightly nervous about having my own brand. I did in 2001 and just escaped with my shirt intact. It was a huge risk then and now. I love my new house and can't risk it so I have to be cautious.
However there is nothing like the feeling of being in charge of the branding and vision. I don't want ridiculous pricing or dodgy manufacturing. Just elegant, healthy products that bring a little joy into the world. (I also don't want to have to work with dickheads!)

Have a great Friday my friends.

Have a lovely break @Crunchymum . Do you remember how this time last year we were so daunted at the thought? I’m off on Monday too - just got to get through my work “to do” list now …

Happy holidays to you too @Onewildandpreciouslife

One major upside to WFH is no office parties (or at least its easier to make excuses 🙃)

It was this time last year we went away and I was about 5 months AF. I did struggle. I'd never had a sober holiday in my adult life and drinking was so synonymous with relaxing for me (to be honest drinking was synonymous with most emotions for me!).

Now I feel happy and excited to be going away and knowing I'll be present and calm and happy to do all the long walks etc.

Such a change.

I do recall we had similar reservations / concerns about our 'first' sober trips. What a difference a year makes hey?

Hello all. Friday evenings are my favourite now. I have a cup of decaf coffee on the go and am starting to chill at the prospect of no more school runs until September.

@rothbury re your friend with the surgery, are the bubbles in a g&t ok then? It seems odd that alcohol in itself would be ok, but the bubbles not so much 🤷‍♀️ It’s been a busy week here and I might not be thinking straight. Anyway. I love your wish list for work @WendyWagon . Nothing wrong with aiming high.

Hope you have a lovely holiday @Crunchymum . We’re seeing friends this weekend who I used to drink a lot with, but they’ve been fine with me switching to AF. Which is nice.

Day 7 and just as an extra test am away overnight and staying in a pub. Wishe me luck

Have a lovely holiday @Crunchymum
Good luck - aim high @WendyWagon
Day 7 - well done @Thestartofsomethinggood You can do it - good luck!

I am having a good day. Had some ‘stop drinking’ hypnosis this morning. I was open minded and found it excellent and don’t have an urge to jump on a table and pretend to be a duck which is good 🤣! I am hopeful it is another tool to help me on my AF journey.

So here I am on day 15, waiting for love island with a glass of fiery ginger beer. Life is good!

Sorry have been missing in action, it's been a busy week. There is a huge musical festival where we live this week. I went last night (until 4am!) and drank... water. Plus one Diet Coke for the caffeine about 1:30 AM.

I can honestly say, I am doing fine and not missing alcohol at all! DH was away last weekend and thought about my comments about his drinking, and how he could support me. So he has decided not to drink in the house anymore! I almost fell off my chair, he has never ever done that before. And, he has stuck to it. He also only drank water at the festival. I feel really proud of him for deciding to walk this journey with me. We aren't being very social at the moment, so I don't begrudge him a few pints when he is out with his friends (it isn't even a monthly thing!)

So, I took the opportunity and cleared out some of the physical space that alcohol was taking up (I mentioned it in an earlier post). The dresser that was where our booze and glasses lived, how now been whittled down to a kitchen cupboard, and I gave the dresser away. I feel much better about that now, it's discreet and tucked away.

Happy Friday everyone. Am off to catch up on posts I have missed this week.

Sounds like a great start to the weekend all round.

@justdrink ooooh which one? We're at a festival this weekend and it's my first sober one. It's certainly opened my eyes a lot and I made the following observation:

1. Drunk people do NOT respect boundaries and though most are harmless it's annoying when they won't leave you alone and want to hug you endlessly and be your new BFF
2. I've been a lot more 'present' because I'm not constantly thinking about where and when my next drink is coming
3. I'm much more responsible as an adult. I've really taken on board my SD's needs because again I haven't wanted to stay out and get drunk and am quite happy to come back to the tent for a cuppa. And when DH said that his drink had been spiked and was off his face it was fine...I was perfectly in control
4. I can't dance...at all!

And alcohol must have some magical energetic powers because without it by 10 I'm knackered whereas before I could party all night!

Yes!!!! I was out until 4 last night but could have gone to bed at 11:30, if DS wasn't having THE BEST NIGHT OF HIS LIFE (apparently).

Hope you have enjoyed. I agree with your observations. And when I had to get up this morning (after 3.5 hours of sleep) I was ever so grateful that I didn't have the pain of a hangover to deal with on top of the lack of sleep!

I'm at a massive festival in Europe, I don't live in the UK (but am British).

Also.... hardly spent any money at all!!! Seriously! I literally bought food (because it is tradition to eat these things at this festival) and they had water points throughout so we filled up on that.

A little bottle of coke to keep me awake for the last part of the evening it was the bloody morning! And that's it!

My bank balance approves !

Day 7 done. Had a pint orange juice and lemonade,a pint of soda water and lime and a coffee. Was fine. Happy hangover free Saturday all

And also...the toilets...drunk people can't aim at all

And also...being sober I've got far less chance of falling over in the quagmire that is this festival site thanks to the torrential rain we're having

Morning all, lovely to hear about people enjoying festivals sober and that they can still be fun 😊

@Thestartofsomethinggood - how was you night sleeping at a pub? Hope it was ok!

I am sat listening to the sound of rain on my conservatory roof and feeling very happy that I am hangover free. I am going to potter around the house today, eat some nice food and feel glad I am day 16 and sober - today I will not drink!

Have a good day all!