On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Shiny new thread!

Thank you to @Amdone123 for the last few, she's been around longer than me and always so supportive and kind, thank you!

Tagging people I can from the last thread but please tag any others please!

@texy @Manyrivers @Bigbus @JulieHoney @Mj20 @Starlia

@Determineddoris I can’t seem to find ginger beer here in Spain. Glad things are looking up with your eldest.

@Touty how annoying ! A quick Google search shows there's literally none but someone mentions they get served it at a restaurant? I wish I could ship some over! You are doing really well so far, do you come back to the UK much? Sorry it's a new page so can't go back without losing what I've written! Hope everyone is ok!

Good Morning all, Im hoping to join you all please? I have woken up on day 5 feeling a little more positive after an absolute bender last weekend, I cannot begin to describe how awful this week has been, my mental health is totally shot.

I have a wonderful life with everything to live for and I simply cannot carry on as I have been, I have had this problem for years, had some good amounts of time sober under my belt and then fallen again. My family have been supportive but are now at the end of their tether.

don't really know what I'm asking for, just getting it all off my chest I suppose.

wishing everyone a safe and sober friday.

Hello and welcome @thebabessavedme ! You are in a very safe non judgemental place here so speak/write/rant away we are all in the same boat and well done for getting 5 days under your belt! Day ones were the hardest for me! Keep going and there are a lot of tips if you read back when the wine witch calls! One thing that resonates each time is the thought of drinking is fleeting so distraction at the times you would normally drink is key! X

Hello @thebabessavedme ! Welcome!
Well done on the 5 days AF 🙂.

thank you so much for the welcome. I certainly need some 'nonjudgemental ' comments. I am eating myself up with the judgement I am giving myself.
I have huge guilt, anxiety and am just so unhappy, I have let myself down so badly.

Although I would like to drink tonight, how sick is that?

Just hanging on by my fingertips.

wishing everyone a peaceful, sober start to the weekend.

I'm still here, a bit of a lurker rather than a poster but I read all your posts and I'm inspired by all your stories. I'm doing OK, managed 2 weeks total AF and then had 2 drinks but stopped at that. Planning an AF weekend as on hiday next week xx

*holiday 🤷‍♀️

Well done on your two week stint @Claireh37345 - sounds like you're doing really well with occasional/moderated drinking!

@thebabessavedme are you trying to be completely sober or sober for a good chuck of time to help you moderate?

My aims are to not drink at home by default (unless a special occasion) and moderate when out (that is so much easier when there are chunks of time AF between).

Morning @Coppergate4 My aim atm is one day at a time. I would like to say that this is it, I'm done, however in the long run that never seems to work with me and strangely dh agrees with me, so I'm not saying 'never again', just 'not today' iyswim?

Feeling a little more positive again this morning although my heart is beating with an unnamed anxiety. I do have a lot of family commitments this weekend, including having my dgs overnight, so I'm very focused on just being a sober nana.

Good luck to everyone here working for another sober day x

Sounds like a great plan @thebabessavedme ! Hope you enjoy this time with your grandson!

11 days AF (and 4 smiley August faces!).

We're going to book a UK break on Monday (when DS can check with is manager, whose been on holiday, he can get the time off). Found a great place for a couple of weeks time but DS won't let me book it until it has been cleared at work so I'll be refreshing the page all weekend and hoping it hasn't gone! If that goes then I'm sure we'll find somewhere...it is just so time consuming!

Good evening, everyone. Hope you're all ok.
@thebabessavedme hi and welcome. Well done on 5 af days - that's a great start. You sound very similar to me. I hear you regarding the guilt, etc - awful feelings but I've actually, with the help of this thread, managed to not feel guilty or ashamed after a bad stint. It just doesn't get me anywhere. I know we're all different and suffer anxiety to varying degrees of seriousness so apologies if I'm coming across as flippant. I just refuse to beat myself up.
@Claireh37345 hi - well done on 2 weeks, that's great. You know you can do it now and who knows for how long next time.
@Coppergate4 , you're on a roll. 11 days is great and the chart is working. I'm definitely adopting it in September. Hope you get your holiday sorted.
So, my holiday is going well. Wednesday and Thursday, I only drank 2 glasses. Unheard for me. Thursday was a bit more challenging. I was actually cooking and very nearly abandoned it as the wine took hold. I was fine after I'd eaten - I made gnocchi and bacon in a mushroom and cheese sauce. I love Spanish supermarkets.

Yesterday was bad. I drank 2 bottles, smoked a lot, decided to have a shower before bed, slipped and fell. Thank god, I didn't break anything. Yes, I'm annoyed at myself because old habits ( of beating myself up) die hard, but I'm just glad I'm not in hospital.
Today I haven't drank, tomorrow I won't because I fly home Monday ( and the flight's bad enough as it is, without me being queasy).
I'm pleased overall - even with the mishap - because it got me reflecting even more how nothing good ever comes from binge drinking !
One day at a time, folks. ❤️

Thank goodness you're ok @Amdone123 ! Must've been a shock and - Ouch.

Very glad to hear that you've having a good time on holiday despite the two near near misses. Yay for the Gnocchi!

You're doing brilliantly! Progress not perfection wins. Enjoy the rest of your holiday!

@Coppergate4 , thank you.

Hi all, omg @Amdone123 so sorry that happened to you and yes thank god you aren't in hospital!! As you said one day at a time does it! You went on holiday you knew what you were going to do and you know that's ok! But we are our own worst critics unfortunately so beating ourselves up is in our nature especially when it comes to alcohol and the effects etc.
@Coppergate4 11 days is amazing and yay to the chart (I still have to order mine once we're back off holiday!) So it's 1030pm where we are and we've been travelling all day and boy the lounge and the air journey was hairy in terms of I was tempted but in the end opted for a coke and some thing like a san Pellegrino! My H had champagne, wine, beers and for dinner this evening more beer but he was ok and I had a 0% San Miguel but it was disgusting and sweet didn't finish it and had water. So yeah all that dread of the flight and it all went by very quickly and sober yay! It did bring back memories of me drinking at 9am at the airport and all through the day and making bad decisions! But I fended them off and also made an expensive purchase whoops but I haven't drank for 8 weeks so thats my treat (and I'll have to work some extra days to pay for it lol !)
How is everyone @Bigbus @Claireh37345 @Easterdaffsx @Flishflashfresh @Manyrivers @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Touty @bookworm44 @texy @daffodills1 @enoughisenough4 @indieray and anyone I've missed!

@Determineddoris , that's brilliant that you treated yourself ! You deserve it. 8 weeks is absolutely amazing - you haven't lost sight of your mission in a whole 2 months.
Have a wonderful holiday ❤️

So after 40 days booze free I confess that I’ve had half a lager. I had a houseguest and it was difficult.

Now back on the wagon.

Thanks @Amdone123 I'm going strong. Went to a water park today (my bloody nightmare but kids love it and try and convince me to go on the slides which scare the f out of me!) And there was beers and wines and my H got the beers I mean he's on holiday and I didn't even begrudge him at all and was happy with my diet coke !(watered down yuck) but it's when it's at home in my natural 'drinking' environment when I hear the clink of the glass, see the red wine poured etc is when I get mad it's daft isn't it. But most.of my drinking was done at home so go figure. (The last 15 or so years drinking at home otherwise it would be sloshed out on town!) Anyway hope everyone is ok, are you enjoying your hol @Amdone123 are you ok after the fall? Well done on only half a lager @Touty boy that's amazing I would not have been able.to.stop after half so good on you girl you are determined for sure! Did you enjoy it?

That's no big deal @Touty , a beer. What is a big deal is 40 days - you are doing so well. Good question from @Determineddoris , did you enjoy it ?
I'm fine thanks @Determineddoris after The Fall. Yer know when you've been drinking, you don't always feel it til the next day. But I was fine, and no bruises or anything.
I've had 2 glasses of wine today because when I woke up, I wanted to come home. I needed something - I was thinking that I've got to sort this out when I get home. I'm always planning The Next Big Thing , then when it happens, I'm bored.
I've had a great day though - walked 26k, treated myself to a gorgeous seafront fish dish, and I'm now reading on the balcony.
This morning, I was looking at flights home 🙃

I don't blame you though @Amdone123 I think I would be the same ? Is it just something you want to jump onboard and the excitement and then you miss the dog? And home life? The routine etc? When are you supposed to be flying home? X

Holiday mode here but moderating instead of going AF totally.

@Determineddoris , I don't know. I've not really missed the dog this time as he was driving me mad before I came away. Not his fault - I mean I was fed up of feeling guilty because he was stuck in. It's probably escapism - sounds familiar I am a homebody and love being there but I feel the need to escape! It's a positive thing though because when I'm away, I do appreciate my life at home. I'm flying later today.
How is your holiday going ? Hope you're all ok.
@Needtokickthehabit , that's great that you're cutting back. I switched to Pepsi max today and found I enjoyed it more. Was so nice with ice.

Also, when home, I've got to make an appointment with my gp and discuss 1) my anxiety ( I've never been like this - I've always been a worrier, but this is ridiculous) and 2) my insomnia - I'm 'waking' up depressed because I've not slept - this is new, too. And, not drinking used to mean I slept better but not anymore. That annoys me.

Could it be peri? @Amdone123 I ended up on meds last year for anxiety but my doctor did specify it could be peri too and gave me sertraline and it has helped a lot. Now I know I get hangxiety but I was getting anxious over absolutely everything a year ago and it has totally changed things for me.

I am actually doing really well mentally and physically etc despite stil drinking. I am not doing it to excess anymore and as we have holidays pretty much this entire month it would not work for me to start to go tee total now but sept will be a new month and we have nothing booked at all then so it will be easier to go AF. I have actually had a few nights recently where I have had one glass and gone nah this is not what I want and just not had anymore. I think my mindset has changed and I have been through a LOT of stuff in the past year, so much I did not even realise until the floodgates opened over something else recently and I am forgiving myself for resorting to drinking to block things out etc. I cant change whats happened or how I have used alcohol as a crutch but I have forgiven myself and it feels like I have turned a corner. I was in bed last night very early as I have a flight to catch this morning at 5 for work and I only had one beer. Not like me at all but I do really feel it is a mindset thing. I only have another 2 days of work this week and then we are away on holiday for over 2 weeks but I moderate much better around my DP so I know I can do this and with my new mindset in place I am hopeful for an AF sept. DP does not live with me currently and doesnt know the extent of my drinking but he also thinks he has been drinking too much so we are doing a solidarity alcohol free sept together and I am excited for it. I think I am sick of alcohol at this point. I am seeing the benefits in not overdoing it already. I even am going to wear a bikini on holiday for the first time in about 15 years this week. It really all is psychological.

I will read back and comment on others posts and journeys as soon as mine starts for real. I feel like a selfish contributer to this thread but it has been the best thing I have done, join on here and be honest and when I am properly sober I can be a crutch to others but currently I am not in that mindspace. WIsh everyone well and thanks again to you all for your support x

@Needtokickthehabit , thanks for your post.
It's really helpful - a lot of that resonates with me. I'm 56 so it's probably the menopause yes. Up until now, I thought I was breezing through it as I'm normally ( or at least have been til the past 6 months) happy, positive, energetic and always, always, felt the benefits of not drinking.
My sisters ( 55 and 62) have had awful menopause symptoms for the last 10 and 12 years respectively. I have always been very empathetic from my Ivory Tower.
It's great what you say about mindset - changing that is the answer to this problem I think.
Please don't ever think you're a selfish contributer. We all post differently - some of us every day, some pop on and off the thread - it doesn't matter - it's a safe place to get it all out.
You're going to do great in September - you're halfway there when you think about it, because you're determined and excited to get started.
I'm excited now to get to the gp and get my zest and energy back ! ❤️
Thanks, again.

Oh dear, massive fail tonight!!! Houseguest still here and at 5 am I am just getting in. I feel so bad thinking about what I have had to drink tonight . How has this happened? The greedy booze gremlins in my brain are awake and hungry for more. Tomorrow houseguest goes.