On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Shiny new thread!

Thank you to @Amdone123 for the last few, she's been around longer than me and always so supportive and kind, thank you!

Tagging people I can from the last thread but please tag any others please!

@texy @Manyrivers @Bigbus @JulieHoney @Mj20 @Starlia

I can’t host people anymore

@Touty try to not feel bad about it. You haven't done anything wrong - you're human ! You've just done 40 (!!!!) days without it. If anything, you should feel super proud of yourself. You can be af again, it's not the end. It's all a learning curve, a process.
I'd struggle with guests, too, I think. I know when I'm trying hard to be af, I rarely go out. But I can't stay in forever - you'll know what to do next time. Tomorrow ( as in when you wake up) is a new day. Don't spend it beating yourself up. You wouldn't say anything negative or unkind to any of us, so don't do it to yourself ❤️

Oh @Amdone123 thank you for being awake and giving me moral support at this time, it really is appreciated. You know that is the problem, I don’t go out, but guests want to be entertained. I know it’s my problem. I need to fix this, and such a bloody expensive night.

@Touty , no problem.
God, yes, the expense - that hurts more than the headache 🤣

@Touty you’ve done so well, don’t let one blip set you back. Maybe try to think of it in total days AF not days in a row, if you see what I mean? Being AF 40/42 days is amazing! If you focus on the days in a row, then one night can really set you back and make you think you’ve failed when in fact you’ve done really well. Looking back six months could you have imagined having had no alcohol for 40 out of the last 42 days? But yes, the money! If I could have all the money back that I have spent on alcohol and cigarettes in my life I’d be a millionaire I think! Luckily I stopped smoking years ago but the alcohol still ebbs and flows.

@Needtokickthehabit I’m moderating not abstaining and I post when I’ve fallen off the moderation bus - I don’t think you’re a selfish poster, it’s really helped me to hear from you. There have been a few people who have found that this post isn’t for them because we don’t all abstain but others who have found it really helpful wherever they are on their journey and whatever their goal. Everyone should find the thing that works best for them.

@Amdone123 your holiday sounds lovely. Sorry you fell over. I’ve woken many times with unexplained drinking injuries. The problem is that I quite like the feeling of being a bit drunk when I’m by myself but I do. It like the hangovers, the weight gain and reading back the text messages the next morning! I reckon one night out of a whole holiday getting a bit drunk is really not too bad at all!

My brother has been staying and he likes a drink but we both moderated well. What I like about the moderation is that I used to be reluctant to plan anything the day after a night out because I knew I would feel terrible
but now I mostly don’t have they anymore. Thanks to everyone on this thread for keeping me going and best wishes to everyone wherever you are in the process.

Do not like the hangovers that should say!

also thanks @Determineddoris for keeping us all in mind. I hope all is good with you.

@Touty Please forgive yourself already - you've done amazing with those 40 days and the stopping at half a lager day. It is a tiny blip in the big scheme of things - hope you had fun with your houseguest.

@Amdone123 hope you have an easy and enjoyable journey home

@Determineddoris you're doing amazing on holiday. wow!

@Bigbus great moderating with your brother!

Nothing much to report from me - I'm still on my AF stint.

I've got a glucose monitor on at the moment (it lasts 14 days max) as I've just started the ZOE program (yesterday was muffin day). It has crossed my mind that I should see what white wine does to me before and during meals. Not keen at the moment though - I don't want to ruin my run of little green smiley faces! Maybe next weekend. I will have to go out for it as I don't want a red dot either. Purple smiley faces are fine though!

I've got another two weeks with nothing eating or drinking related planned and then I have a houseguest (and meal out) quickly followed by a 5 night holiday. Absolutely no plan here other than to not have to put a red dot on the planner!

@Amdone123 your dinner sounds amazing! Sorry to hear you fell, hope you're ok. Try not to beat yourself up about it, I'm sure many of us here have had multiple falls after drinking, I know I have.

@Coppergate4 good going! is it sad I want to see another pic of your sticker chart? 😅 'progress not perfection' is a great saying. I will try to remember this one in more than just this aspect of my life.

@Determineddoris 8 weeks is amazing! You definitely deserved to buy yourself a little treat at the airport, and I bet it wasn't nearly as expensive as booze would have been.

@Touty half a lager is still brilliant - progress not perfection as @Coppergate4 says! I've just read your later post about your night out, and the same applies! Very good idea from @Bigbus to look at the overall picture and not the daily streaks.

Little update from me - I'm currently on day 9 AF! It's been a lot easier than it has previously been, although of course I've still had moments where I've thought about having a glass/bottle of wine that evening, the thought has been more fleeting than usual and I'm more able to push it away. It feels like a switch has been flicked off in a way, which I'm really grateful for. I'm surprised to find I'm not missing it as much as I thought, or as much as have previously when trying (and failing) to have breaks.

It's been a lot more freeing not thinking about when I'm next going to have a drink, and I was also getting some quite bad reflux which seems to be settling down now that I'm not drinking. My drink aware app has been saying 0 units for the last couple of days, I don't think that's ever happened! Health anxiety has also improved, although we've had lots of visitors lately so I've been more distracted which might also be helping.

I know there will be some tougher times to face, but at the moment, it's ok

I take it back. Have been thinking of the possibility of wine tonight for the last couple of hours 😣

Hi @enoughisenough4 you ok? What did you end up doing ? I know when the seed is planted it's quite strong but I also now know it's only a few minutes the urge x

@Determineddoris nothing as of yet, still thinking about it though. My friend is staying with me atm and she leaves tomorrow. She's just on her way back from being out with her family who happens to live nearby (we're 600 miles away) and all I'm thinking about is sticking a pizza in the oven and having some wine/going to the pub 🙄

I think whatever you do don't beat yourself up about it and go with the flow plus you have had 9 AF days so far which is amazing (something I couldn't do before)! Let us know how you get on and we are all here for you. Sorry I haven't read back far enough to reply to everyone yet, trying not to be on my phone tooooo much on hols hehe but I had a carlsberg 0% today which was ok x

Ok so houseguest has now left; it’s lovely to see them but also lovely to see them go.

Now back to working on myself, living AF and trying to live an inspired life.

Morning all - have woken up on day 9 feeling soooo much better, so far it hasn't been too much of a struggle not to drink mainly because I have felt so fucking terrible. It sounds daft but I really don't want to forget the turmoil of feelings I had last week as Im a little worried that as the memory fades the urge to drink will become stronger.

sorry not to namecheck, have to get ready for work but I do wish you all the best day you can manage, keep on keeping on! x

Good morning. Can I join? Struggling SO much in the evenings at the moment. Really need to go teetotal. I'm "good" all day then the evening boredom hits me. Must give myself activities to do. Normally I'm babysitting for a neighbour this evening so will be busy. My sleep patterns are all over the place. Anyone else can relate? Got any tips? Have a nice day

@Determineddoris I'm pleased to say I didn't have a drink last night. I did try my luck a bit though - asked my friend what she wanted to do that evening when she got back, I even suggested the pub! But she said she was happy chilling with a film. She brought pizzas back and NGL I was really hoping she'd bring wine back too, but she didn't. I think she did it on purpose - I did mention to her that I was stopping for a while when she arrived. She knows I can't moderate, I've known her since uni for 10+ years so she's seen it all, and I think she knew that I actually didn't really want a drink. She's a good one ❤️

@thebabessavedme how I felt for about 4 days after my heavy session last Saturday has really put me off too. Not so much hungover, but the anxiety, general shittiness and reflux which I'm fairly sure was alcohol related. I'm also finding that I'm having palpitations the day after drinking, I really hate that feeling and that's also putting me off. Well done on 9' days - I'm day 10 today so we are pretty much the same!

Morning all, a huge welcome to @Nowstrong ! You are in the right place and omg what you have said about the evening boredom is spot on literally that is why I drank mainly (but apparently when you read more into it it's not just boredom it's escapism from whatever you want to block out -there are some good quit lits we can recommend too). I couldn't get on the treadmill as @Amdone123 says so many times but once I was on it I kept going but distraction is key so you have already pointed that out ! I know now first hand that when the thought of the drink occurs I start doing anything I can with my hands (I was smoking for a bit but now I'm not and don't recommend it!) And then the feeling of 'wanting' the drink would disappear very very quickly! Are you planning on abstaining for a long period or just for a bit ?
@Touty glad you are ok and not beating yourself up! You are doing fantastic!
@Amdone123 hope you made the journey home ok.
@thebabessavedme well done for day 9!!!! That's amazing again something I couldn't fathom I could do not long ago!
Thanks to everyone for the well done for.my 2 months, a little.ping of a badge came up on my app when we were out on holiday and my H gave me a thumbs up sign but I could see in his eyes he was proud and then he said he thought it was a lot longer than that (maybe because I've been trying to stop start for about 5 years now!)

@enoughisenough4 we cross posted but HUGE well done to you hey? I'm glad YOU are pleased with yourself too. That takes a lot for when the seed is planted and you think about it so much to not actually doing it. Amazing work.

I can definitely relate to that @Nowstrong - that has been my life for years! When not distracted by something else in the evening it was wine or feel like I was in some kind of gaping boring hole. I don't feel like that at the moment though. Not being at work has helped a lot - I've got the energy to do things in the evening I guess. I'm trying to develop some strong evening habits now so that I have them for when I'm back at work. One is making myself move after dinner (walk or housework) as it really helps to stop glucose spikes (been reading the glucose revolution hacks and zoe recommend this too).

Well done @enoughisenough4 !

I've got a houseguest coming in a week or so...I know I will be feeling exactly the same when they leave @touty! Really looking forward to seeing them but...

I'm two weeks AF today. This last week has flown by!

Thank you for your messages. This may sound ridiculous but I've put big signs in my drink bar (only for me to see) and in front of the forbidden biscuits in the cupboard, saying that I CAN DO THIS. So desperate to cut down A LOT or totally. I need to lose weight as well. Will read this thread properly. May not participate a great deal, but again thank you for being there.

Hey @enoughisenough4 you are brilliant trust me! How lovely a birthday is he young or a teen or an adult? I'm here on hols with 10 and 8 yo and they are like mummy mummy look at me and I think before I used to be drinking and ignoring or half hearted behaviour but this time I'm actually like these kids Re growing up so quickly and there will be plenty of time to read my book! Don't get me wrong though they annoy the f out of me with the incessant stuff lol but I'm trying to be more patient which giving up the drink has made me. I use an app called easyquit drinking @enoughisenough4 it's quite good , basic but shows you all the little things like health, money saved, weight lost, calories saved and days etc also has a little game on there called beat the urge! It's really good. Also need to lose weight but I'm.guessing eating chips every day won't be helping !

@Determineddoris he's young - he'll be two 🥹 he's usually a brilliant sleeper so having a few glasses of wine after he went to bed was becoming a bit too regular. My husband can stop after he's started, so he's always fine but I can't seem to. DS has started to wake in the night sometimes of late though, which has actually coincided nicely with stepping back from the booze as it seems there's more and more reasons not drink, than to pick up that first glass (which will mean the end of the bottle).

Hope you're having a lovely time away!!! Glad you're feeling more present (apologies if that's not the right word!). They do grow up quick but they can also be annoying sometimes 😅🥰🥰

Morning all. Oh that's great @enoughisenough4 in a way about the excuses of not drinking, someone upthread some pages ago said if they put obstacles in their way then they physically cannot drink like driving to events so no choice etc it's a good tip ! Hope your son has a wonderful birthday how cute 2! I sometimes watch videos of when they were 2 and I just miss it in a way. My son has woken up far too early on holiday and I'm not pleased but I would have been more mad had I been hungover ! Enjoy your day!