On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Shiny new thread!

Thank you to @Amdone123 for the last few, she's been around longer than me and always so supportive and kind, thank you!

Tagging people I can from the last thread but please tag any others please!

@texy @Manyrivers @Bigbus @JulieHoney @Mj20 @Starlia

@Bigbus hahaha ok so it's SW (that I often see people are on on MN) I nearly joined mine few years back. I need to find the programme fat friends ! Glad it works for you ! Can I ask what brand of CBD you recommend as there's loads out there. I have tried the CBD Holland and Barrat oil which tasted disgusting and then bought some gummies which have now expired. @Starlia how's it going it's interesting you find sleep better even when you have alcohol weekends , for some reason mine is all over the place this time! I know I used to self medicate to sleep with wine but I've been up very early and went to bed late hence my lack of motivation is not there to do productive things in the day! I have so much to do so little time. The more I work it's better for my mind but sometimes I just want to sit in front of the TV all day and eat crisps!!!! (Used to be and wine)
@bookworm44 how was your evening ?
@Amdone123 how are you today lovely woman? X

Oh that's odd my reply has been hidden ? Maybe something I wrote in relation to @Bigbus last recommendation? Wow never had that happen before ! Maybe it flags up straight away

Morning all.
@Determineddoris I think I can see your other reply so not sure what's going on there!

Welcome @bookworm44 I hope your first night off was ok and sleep wasn't too disrupted. My sleep itself in the first weeks was fine but when I woke up I felt like I was drugged. That went on for about 2-3 weeks and now I feel much clearer. It was like no amount of sleep would have been enough, which just reinforced to me how much damage I was doing to my sleep before.

@Bigbus sounds like you did well with a plan. I'm trying that strategy much more now too. It's when I don't plan that I have issues as I default to what's easy/habit which is usually alcohol. If I actually allow myself to think about what I want then I more often than not make a different choice.

@Amdone123 hope you're feeling a bit better today and your husband has got off well on his exciting trip.

I had two glasses of wine last night. I only really wanted 1 so need to continue to be vigilant and not let old thinking dictate new me.

Hello please can I join? I’m on a mission to moderate. I started around a month ago and was doing well but the last week my old habits have crept back in. It was such a stressful week. I love the rock and boat analogy… I picked up the big heavy rock and tried to row upstream 🙄. This week will be better!!!!

Morning @turnaroundtouchtheground ! Very big welcome 🤗 no judgement here whatever you do, just know we are all in the same rocky boat! That's the problem it does creep up doesn't it? What is your aim/ideal drinking each week?
@texy the reply had definitely been hidden but then I asked them to unhide it quickly lol but two glasses it better than a whole bottle right ? (Which is what I was doing)So you have done well be kind to yourself !
Day 6 going strong....I know this week may be difficult but am pumped and armed with some support RL and online of course you guys!

Thank you for the welcome @Determineddoris !!
My aim is weekend drinking only and within that 2 or max 3 drinks with 5 nights off in a row. I have found that some drinks I can moderate easily such as g&t, v&t but when it comes to beer and wine.. especially wine, I can’t. So they have to be special occasion drinks.

What do you do instead to relieve stress in the evening?

That sounds like a really great plan @turnaroundtouchtheground ! Gosh so I just realised this was my first weekend off booze for over a year! It helped that I worked yesterday. Stress relief is really difficult unfortunately for me so I've started smoking again (but DH doesn't know and I don't want to do it but it's just for now but DO NOT do that as you would be swopping one for another and it is harming to health but I'm trying to take one step at a time!) Another thing is I do is engross myself in a box set with some nice juicy juice or Fanta or anything that hits the spot. Some people start up knitting or crochet and I tried that and failed miserably! I also started cleaning a lot more to distract me. I walk off if I'm feeling overwhelmed with kids etc upstairs and again just scroll on phone etc or do some extra work/research on special needs/follow new people on Instagram, life admin etc so by the time you know it's bedtime! Others will have better advice maybe too? My poison was wine too so the fact that you know you can possibly leave it for special occasions is already a great step in the right direction! You got this!

@turnaroundtouchtheground I agree with you about wine…it is far too easy to drink bucketloads of the stuff.

Good morning everybody. I slept better than anticipated but i did not want to get up when the alarm went off!
I have a set of digital scales so weighed myself this morning and am aiming not to drink anything before the weekend.

Thanks for the great ideas @Determineddoris

@bookworm44 I am also determined not to drink anything until the weekend. Why is it that the sunny weather makes it more tempting?!!

I am going to look forward to a nice relaxing bath, cup of tea, bit of chocolate and my book this evening 🥰

@Starlia it seems to just deliver the dopamine in seconds!!

Morning all and welcome @turnaroundtouchtheground , it's sounds like a good plan. I'm the same with the switch off button with wine. I can have g n t no problem, but I just don't really enjoy it. Anyway, I'm best of abstaining.
@Determineddoris , day 6 is brilliant, well done. I hear you about the life problems, it's escapism really isn't it. But definitely a clearer head is better than a banging one.
@Bigbus I think you do really well moderating. I don't drink when I go to fat club ( 🤣), I always lost when I'd lived like a nun.@texy @texy great you slept better than expected. Keep going. I often go for a walk in the evenings ( no dependents), or go to a zumba class. I also enjoy cleaning, so find a drawer or cupboard that needs doing. I love cooking too and I've trained myself recently to cook and drink sparkling water, as before I just drank, so cooking wasn't an option.

All good here. I slept well. Up at 4am, but went back. Jumped up and started on one of my jobs!
Still no thoughts / cravings towards drinking.
I think that's where we're very similar @Bigbus , the weight loss. I want to lose a stone to get to my ideal weight. It's not much but the wine just wasn't helping. 'Good' all week, then drinking 1 day and eating so much when hungover. No point.
Have a great day, folks, wherever you are in your rowing journey. I'm happily sailing along. The next boulder / temptation that gets in my way, I'll be like Harrison Ford 🤣

True, the hot weather also makes hangovers loads worse though!

@bookworm44 , that at texy, texy reference was meant for you - phone was playing up 😩. I'm glad you slept better. I sleep so much better when I'm not drinking, it's a big incentive.

Good Morning Everyone and welcome @turnaroundtouchtheground

Sounds like you all are armed with goals and plans for the week, Great start! I'm aiming for an AF week again, last week I had 1 small bottle of cider and substituted with AF beers the rest of the time. @Starlia your right about the wine and dopamine, it's that first taste that hits the spot, pity that's not where it ends though!

I've got a productive day planned keeping busy and getting things ticked off my list. I've stocked up on flavoured waters to try and substitute with this week. @Determineddoris wine and crisps are both my evil partners too, so I haven't bought either with this weeks shop. Apart from the 1 bottle of fruit cider I can't remember the last time I was AF for a week.

I thought it might have been 😅

@bookworm44 really great news you slept better than you expected result! @Starlia so true I literally used to drink glass after glass of wine and then didn't realise the whole bottle had gone and then I used to think let me open another ...it is very all or nothing with me though! I've finally realised that and I hope I continue....
I downloaded an app it's called easyquit drinking and they give you badges for 1 day, 5 days etc and also there's a little game on there you can play to beat the urge try it out if anyone wants to!
@Amdone123 Harrison ford made me laugh!
@Manyrivers well I ate two packs of crisps and biscuits and fizzy drinks but it's all good as I'm not drinking....

@Determineddoris

🤣 - I look a bit like him,too. 🤣

All good here. I've done 2 jobs of my list which has been quite an achievement considering it's 30 degrees.
No wine craving yet, but I did have a panicked thought earlier - What will I do when I'm on holiday ??!!
I recognise these thoughts from previous attempts.
I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

@Amdone123 when are you going on holiday?
I managed a camping weekend alcohol free last month which was absolutely unheard of and what helped was asking myself what was missing from the experience… which was being somewhere beautiful and being relaxed… the answer was nothing…. Good food, amazing weather, beautiful nature. It was enough as it was

@turnaroundtouchtheground , that's great to hear, thank you.
Regarding holidays, I'm lucky to go quite a lot. And when not abroad, I go on walking holidays in Wales. Wine is usually involved.
I have moderated on recent holidays though. Nowhere near as bad as I used to be.

Oh, sorry just realised I didn't answer. Next holiday is 24th June.
I think it was just a slight panic questioning anything that's coming up - birthday, wedding anniversary, etc.
But I'll have to tackle those occasions.
No cravings - unless these thoughts are part of the process !!

How did the weigh in go?

@turnaroundtouchtheground that's great about the camping trip! I don't know when I last had AF hol oh actually I do 2018 when I was living my best life AF lol don't know what happened as my children were even smaller back then ....@Amdone123 how's it going are you off to anywhere nice are you going on your own? Is your DH having a good time wherever he is ? Hope he is. I haven't struggled today and about to finish day 6 I think. I did get a bit fidgety and started reading up open university courses it's like I haven't got enough shit on my plate eh? Hope everyone is having a nice restful evening x

@Determineddoris , you're doing really well. Yes, day 6 you're on ! 👏
I'm ok. Not wanting to drink, just a strong craving for chocolate ! I don't buy chocolate, dh buys that. I miss him 🤣
He's arrived safely so all good.

Hi @Amdone123 how long will DH be gone for? I think I would struggle massively if my DH went off because I quite like drinking on my own! And these days he’s not a big drinker so he keeps me a bit reigned in too!