The support thread (continued) for an alcohol free life. All welcome.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome to the alcohol free support thread. We are a welcoming bunch. These threads were started by @drybird some three years ago.
We are a mixture of sober sisters (and the odd gent) who want to lead a alcohol free life. We chat about everyday things that we use to drink to manage. No question too silly. Someone will have done/thought or been through the same.

I thought it was just me but I'm another one who never really used to drink heavily at social occasions (particularly daytime or family occasions) but then would sink a bottle of wine as soon as I got home. And I'd spend my whole time at these events wishing for home time so I could have said wine.

I preferred to drink alone in the end, which was yet another worrying behaviour I had around alcohol.

It was almost as though I wanted the drink all to myself. My absolute favourite thing was 6pm on a Saturday evening when I could stick clean PJ's on, order a take away and let the oblivion begin. I drank other nights and often every night for periods but Saturday was drink night.

A lot of people were surprised to find out over time that my XDP had a massive problem with alcohol.

He rarely drank more than the odd one in front of people, at family gatherings etc and at work dos he would always offer to drive.

In fact he has had problems with dependence on alcohol since he was a teenager (now 68), but most of it has been done in secret.

Interesting about the secret boozers.
Mine came about due to my mother's disprovel. Her brothers both became alcoholics after being prisoners of war. We had nothing in the house due to this. Sherry at Christmas and champagne for the good times. No wine at the table. In fact she frequently gave gifts of said booze away. My dad loved a drink but didn't for my mum. He gave in at about 75 and enjoyed himself occasionally. My mum was in the police force when I was a kid and she had seen the results of drink I think. I moderated my drinking for years. At one point we lived together as a 3G family and she was always on my case. When she died 19 years ago I gave up control of the booze and the constant dieting. I got fat and drunk. Quite publicly. It was my self harm. A cry for help. Sadly no one helped because we had moved to a very booze soaked market town. Everything was 'drinky poos'. Lots of clever bored women. I met some lovely people but the booze is a big part of their lives. I can't do that anymore. Some have fallen by the wayside, a couple have helped.
I am off to investigate the pool and health club next week. Having done all the packing and lifting I am a dress size smaller. Perhaps I'll become a veteran body builder, who knows? Amazonian Sav.
I am on the Gordon's AF with a new fever tree. Lime, not that impressed.
However have a good evening lads. X

Evening all, I was another reward drinker. Drive to the event, get shit faced when I got home. For what purpose I have no idea now…

in other non AF news I’ve blown the diet today with chocolate, fried chicken and chips.. but no booze so that’s got to be a win really? I’ve been logging my calories, but I’m too scared to get on the scales, food and calories has become my new control method. You can’t stop food though can you, I don’t know how much therapy I will need to get past this particular issue… I also don’t know why it is an issue. I’m healthy, I’m fit I’m in my normal BMI range… my brain is just fucked. Sorry to rant that here. Anyone got any good books for that?

i am loving the early morning runs, though. I wake at 6 ish and head out for half an hour, no pressure, no desire to go further or faster, well no plans to at this point. It is a great head clearer and sets me up for the day.

I hope you all get a good clear extra long weekend of enjoying sobriety and all she has to offer

Thanks for encouraging words. Feeling pretty relieved to be home and just having pasta and a diet coke for tea

Holidays are nice but fraught with temptations

Morning shipmates. A steady sea here.
I didn't think much of the Fevertree Lime and Yuzu tonic. £1 a can so I think I'll stick with the Marks G and T.
Feeling a lot better as I am on a short course of steroids. I will puff up but I couldn't walk or stand to make tea. At one point it did cross my mind to have some pain numbing booze but I thought if I needed the doctor it wouldn't look good (I don't get how a skinful of grog takes away the swelling? Most of my meds cannot be taken with access booze which I ignored for years). I confess because even 'medium timers' get the urge.
More boxes await but I am loving the 'lost' items coming out of store. I have lived with boxes for years. I am hoping to find a locket given to me on my wedding day and not seen since 2013. That would really make me happy. 😊
Oh and an update on the stalky EA, he said something to my recent landlord and he defended us, sweet man. He owns a fair bit of property and I suspect he told him off.
Have a lovely peaceful day my friends. I shall be pottering and hanging out washing (not possible at the flat so the husband is happy being a frugal chap and Green Bean). X

Excess! Edit button would be good.

I hope the steroids continue to do the trick @WendyWagon . I have to have a Big Injection every few years to help ease pain/allow movement due to hypermobility. I know I should lose weight as that’s a huge factor in managing the condition but it’s one thing at a time.

Off to a friends birthday party on the beach today. Historically these affairs are Extremely Boozy. The stuff of legends. I’m very happy to know I will not get so pissed I embarrass myself and will get home safely, and remember the event.

Before, I might have thought I would just have one. But that would then ruin the whole experience for me as I would want another five. Then I would have to leave early so I could come home and drink.

This is why it’s easier to be teetotal than to moderate. I will have a great time with friends in the sunshine, and will probably stay out until either the end, or at least a suitable point where others are leaving.

This is the plan! Going to put it into operation. Have a lovely day everyone.

Sounds a great plan @rothbury - have a lovely day

Hope everyone's having a good Bank Holiday. That's day number 7 done. It has been hard. Especially doing the big shop at the supermarket earlier. I've decided It's not called the wine witch for me but the wine wa*ker and vodka villan. If I cast them as men it's easier for me to think of them as idiots that should be ignored! (My apologies to any men on the thread)

Morning all, checking in for the long weekend. Blowing a gale here.. been a few life wobbles but still AF and determined as always. Welcome to the new members, also sending gentle hugs to @WendyWagon hope your on the mend soon. Swimming will most definitely help! Need to get up and get on.. flooring Co coming today 🫣

Morning lads.
I had my first good sleep in the new house. Hoorah. I watched Midsommer, went to bed and got up at 6am. Perfect. The washing is on, dishwasher too. Husband fed and daughter organised. I am feeling a lot better. Sunny already here but we have a breeze. We are up on the top of The Downs and it is glorious. I suspect there will be barbecuing next door, it's almost daily!
I had my Gordon's 0% with Schewps tonic and it was perfect. I should stop fiddling around!
Have a lovely day my sober sisters x

@rockingbird
I have this vision of you with a toolbox wearing capri pants and a white shirt in a cottage by the sea. I am jealous of the DIY skills. I can't even use a drill.

My afternoon on the beach was lovely. I was the only one not drinking but it’s always easier in daytime I think.

One of my closest friends, who drinks similarly to how I used to (60-70 units a week) revealed she is booked in for bariatric surgery. Her main concern is of course how it will affect her drinking 😜

I am very supportive of her decision to improve her health and think she’s being very brave to make such a life changing decision. The selfish part of me was also a little grateful that I will have a sober buddy on future holidays and outings. I guess I don’t like being the odd one out all the time.

@rothbury oh interesting about your friend and wls. There is a risk drink becomes food after the surgery (famous case Wilson Philips singer). I remember I couldn't drink without a massive scoff. I am going to have the new injection first but they have now put me on the list, eek.
All good here, seeking door paint. Need to find something lovely.

Yes I thought I remembered you had mentioned WLS @WendyWagon .

My friend is having a gastric sleeve, so no going back, it’s going to be a huge adjustment for life, but she has a lovely DH and good friends to support her.

I hope the injections help you. I’m about three stone overweight but trying to get to at least six months sober before really tackling my weight. I am eating more healthily and getting lots more exercise than I used to.

One step at a time eh?

I hate barbecues, but I've done one today and done it sober, armed with AF cider. Didn't stop two people asking me if I was having 'a day off'.

DH is somewhat pissed, crashing around in the kitchen and generally being difficult. If I say anything, about anything, he will use whatever I say to start a row and blame everything on me. Best to keep quiet then.

I need to decide what I'm going to do about this marriage.

Day 30.
@TheOtherHotstepper that was my dp on Saturday. He genuinely misconstrues things due to brain damage but it's a lot worse when he's drunk, plus he needs help walking then as his weak side just completely goes and it's bloody dull for me and unpleasant. As you say, I just say nothing

Evening all. Back on track after holiday wobble and feeling a bit better for it. Am hoping as the week goes on my frame of mind will improve. Drinking makes me feel depressed and just "out of sorts" - just goes to proove that drinking to avoid stress/ difficult situations is totally counter productive.

Morning all.
Congratulations on the sober barbecue @TheOtherHotstepper . Sorry things aren’t great with your husband- being sober makes so many things clearer, so it’s sometimes not a comfortable experience.

@stilldumdedumming - 30 days! Whoop whoop!

Glad you’re feeling a bit better @Cherrymix

@Onewildandpreciouslife , thank you. My life is like a soap opera, honestly. There's a massive amount of background and I'm just grateful that I'm back into therapy next week. Lots to unload and work through.

Morning all.
Not such a good sleep. The dog was playing up.

@TheOtherHotstepper xxx

Morning lads. Hell of a day yesterday.
I had a shock diagnosis of a new health condition. No treatment available. I have little headspace for the drama but I managed to stay AF. How the hell I did God knows. Huge repercussions as I may have to retire. Not good timing.
Defo time for some more therapy.

So sorry to hear that @WendyWagon. It must be a dreadful shock. Sending hugs as not sure what else to do