The support thread (continued) for an alcohol free life. All welcome.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome to the alcohol free support thread. We are a welcoming bunch. These threads were started by @drybird some three years ago.
We are a mixture of sober sisters (and the odd gent) who want to lead a alcohol free life. We chat about everyday things that we use to drink to manage. No question too silly. Someone will have done/thought or been through the same.

Good Morning. Can I join please? Lots of positivity here and I need some support and encouragement. Day One (again) for me today. Really need to knock this on the head. Have previously read and found useful Allen Carr, Alcohol Free for Women (or something like that), and The Alcohol Experiment. Think I'll have a look at The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober as that seems to be very well received.
Am currently sat in my garden enjoying a morning cup of Yorkshire Tea. My resolve is strong - motivation is my health and my kids. They need to stop seeing me and DH normalising drinking. This is just me atm and I can't see DH doing it anytime soon, which makes things harder. He doesn't pressure me etc. but I know I'll see him with a beer and think the idea is a nice one. But it's not and I will keep reminding myself of that!!!

@SarcasticIntrovert hi and welcome. I don't post much because...well life...but this thread has been invaluable to me. The early days are the hardest for sure. I'm 6 months down the line and it is easier to see myself as a non-drinker. In the early days it seemed impossible to picture an alcohol free future.

When I first started I wrote a list of reasons to stay sober. I'll repost now:

Ok so reasons to stay sober:

1. Physical health - undeniable
2. Mental health - again undeniable
3. Money - not only is alcohol expensive but drunk me likes to shop for things sober me knows I can't afford
4. Weight loss - drunk me loves snacking
5. Sex - when I was single and drinking too much I had far too much drunken casual, risky sex. I can’t believe I was such a fool. Now I’m newly married and my husband and I only can’t begin to count the number of times one of us has fallen asleep/passed out due to alcohol and missed the opportunity to have sex. We’re still in the honeymoon phase & want to have sex. Sorry to lower the tone but it's a fact.
6. No more beer fear - we've all been there
7. No more hangovers - they get worse as I get older
8. No more risk of driving over the limit - either the next day or whenever
9. No more worrying about getting home from a night out

10. Setting a good example to my children

I'm sure you can add your own but I hope it helps

That's a huge help, thank you. And well done on your six months! I definitely think the next few weeks will be the hardest - so many times when I would usually have a glass of wine in my hand. But also the sin is shining and the days are bright so absolutely no need to fog them up with alcohol.

Good morning all
Welcome @SarcasticIntrovert

I passed the 14 month mark yesterday. My celebration drink was orange juice with ice. I had bought some plastic beakers in the charity shop and they fit the bill as we haven't got all our kitchen over from the flat yet.
In moves gone by I would be drinking every night to deal with the stress. I have just put myself to bed by 8pm each night (as I did when I first went AF). We have another 10 days to clear and clean and I am so glad we have done that. Less pressure.

I found a book when unpacking called high functioning alcoholic. I didn't read it last year as I think a few in the pile I bought were very manish. I am not very good with lecturing men. I have never been one for the rah rah 'business gurus' either. I personally don't mind a bit of Allen Carr but I am not even a fan of Dr Moseley for weight loss!

More moving chores today folks. Have a safe, happy sober one.

Hi all, hope you enjoyed the BH weekend. I'll be honest, I found it incredibly difficult yesterday not drinking on my birthday. It made me quite grumpy to be denying myself champagne or a nice glass of wine - we didn't have that much else planned so would have been a nice 'treat'. If I hadn't told DH the truth about what I'm doing I might have cracked.

But I didn't. It wouldn't have been 'a' nice glass of wine would it, and I've gone right back to the start. Perhaps I should have started this a week later as it's been hard starting with such a social weekend, but it's done now and I'm already past some big milestones on day 8. I really hope it gets easier though.

Good morning! All go at Hotstepper Towers, The happy whistling plumber is in replacing the loo and the new fridge/freezer should be delivered around lunchtime. I've managed fine in the past without a washing machine and without an oven, but this has been a struggle.

Because all this is happening, I'm not going to be able to go to a friend's funeral and I feel bad about that.

Today has already delivered a near miss accident on our famous ring road, where someone had gone up the slip road to exit and then changed his mind shrug There are more delights to come and I just need to get through to 9,30pm.

Currently playing James McMurtry LOUD. That helps.

Days like this remind me forcibly how fragile recovery can be. Sometimes it is literally One Day at a Time.

If you can do a birthday @BraveMaeve you can do anything!

I felt grumpy on my first sober birthday and my first sober holiday and my first sober Christmas (I wasn't grumpy all the time but there were moments of serious anger at myself for having such a problematic relationship with alcohol that I had got to the point I couldn't have it at all).

The good news is the further away I am from being a drinker, the less I miss it (even on special occasions). It gets easier.

Well done for surviving @TheOtherHotstepper failing appliances and broken loo's would have had the old me reaching for the Rioja. The new me would have just moaned a lot

@Crunchymum that's exactly it, I'm cross with myself for not being able to moderate. Thanks for the message

@BraveMaeve well done. Birthdays, christmas, NYE they are all big mile stones. You have achieved something amazing. I recommend a new lipstick. Something lovely.

As this is my first day on this thread I'm probably one of the only people on here who can tell you that I did drink, every night this weekend, and you honestly didnt miss a thing by not doing. I didn't drink to excess (but am more than capable of that) but still have a bit of a foggy memory, felt tired etc. and am kicking myself that I didn't/couldn't just enjoy the weekend with my kids without feeling the need to have a drink. I think it was actually more the fact that it was a BH weekend so I almost felt like I should but actually it really didn't add anything positive. Hope you had a good birthday and well done for staying strong.

I love a round number. 450 days for me today.

Feeling good today. Had a lovely long sleep to extinguish my headache.

Nothing much else to report. Keep on keeping on.

Morning all.
Still moving out of our old flat but now fed up with it!
Not sure I can face it today, I need to do something happy. Old age is a privelage but DH and I both have dodgy knees and carrying boxes down from a first floor flat is not to be recommended.
DH is desperate to cut the lawn at the new house so I might get away with planting up some tubs.
Sail forth sober friends.

Well done on your 450 days @Crunchymum !

Hope you find something happy to do @WendyWagon

I have a lovely relaxing work day today where I will spend about five hours travelling on trains.

This will give me the mental space to reflect and plan.

I am a bit worried about DS drinking (22) which definitely affects his MH. He’s a sensitive soul and very intelligent but prone to depression. I think I need to just be a good example.

@rothbury I would chat to your son about the drinking. My DD doesn't drink and my son (23) doesn't like it very much. I do think it is going out of fashion. He may welcome the chance to give it up.

@Crunchymum well done

Totally agree @WendyWagon . Neither of mine drank really until DS took it up in the past year.

Not blaming them at all, but prev GF didn’t drink ever. New GF drinks A LOT and has an alcoholic father, currently in his eighth rehab stint. DS is responsible for his own consumption so I just gently point out when he tells me he’s feeling low, that he was out drinking the night before, and it doesn’t seem to agree with him.

He will get there.

DD is The Alcohol Police 😂

Woo hoo congratulations @Crunchymum ! 450 days is a great milestone, I guess it’s 451 now Congratulations too @WendyWagon on clearing 14 months despite everything that the world’s brought you and moving house. Respect! And congrats also @BraveMaeve on your AF birthday. I had about eight months AF before my first AF birthday and it still had its challenging moments. You’ve hit one of the biggest challenges right in the early days.

Hope everyone is well. DD is doing her mocks and I am so grateful not to be drinking. It feels good to be 100% there for her, from hangover-less mornings to focused evenings.

Just bobbing by. Well done crunchy on the 450 hello more newbles.

Hi, can I join please? I'm on day 7, originally I just wanted to abstain for a while and then see about trying to moderate but the more I think about it the more I think it would be better if I just pack it in all together.

I've been lurking around during the last week and seeing how everyone is doing has really helped me.

I think part of what stopped me quitting altogether previously is having to explain myself in social situations as I'm known for liking a drink but actually now I don't think I'd feel any shame in just saying that booze doesn't work for me anymore.

My main issue is that basically I've been drinking myself to sleep for far to long so I'm struggling at night time, any tips welcome! I did sleep better last night but that was after spending pretty much all day outside for various reasons and I think that helped, just can't replicate that every day!

Day 30 not counting coronation slip. I'm not going back to day 1 as instead of continuing to slip and slide I have got back on my horse and am back on track.

Days are rolling by ok. Have been reading a lot of research about the brain science of addictive behaviours which I'm finding helpful and also interesting too.

Just realising that chemical changes can manifest themselves as thoughts is pretty amazing to me.

Also watched exiting final of Race Across the World. Am going to investigate previous series.

Night all. Sweet dreams

Welcome @Stopdropnroll ! Well done on day 7 - you’ve done the worst bit! Your comment about “known for liking a drink” really struck me - I think it’s fairly common for alcohol to become bound up in our identity, which is one of the many reasons it’s hard to stop BUT it’s so worth it.

As for the sleep, it will get better eventually- in its normal state, your brain will produce sleepy chemicals at night, but it’s stopped bothering because it’s been able to let alcohol do that instead. Eventually your brain will catch up with the fact that you need the sleepy stuff now.

@Cherrymix - so glad you’ve parked the blip and moved on. I love the brain stuff too, as you can tell!

Morning me Hearties.
Funny old sleep but getting use to a different room always plays havoc with me. I never sleep in hotels. Last night's tipple, milk.

@Stopdropnroll welcome.